KittyBugz

my notesapp notes were taking up too much storage on my phone so now I just write my unfiltered thoughts here

[kittybugz]

I hate when games don’t let you carry an unlimited amount of something because it’s too heavy. I can’t carry a hundred pieces of bread? fuck you

[kittybugz]

girls be like “teehee how’d I get this ☺️?” about a bruise on their leg that looks like someone beat them with a hammer

[kittybugz]

leg hair but you look closer and realize it’s actually hundreds of skin tags

[kittybugz]

reaction channel but it’s a person with dementia watching the same movie for the first time over and over again

[kittybugz]

step 1: get naked

step two: sit cross legged

strep three and four: peel and eat orange

^how to channel inner orangutan

[kittybugz]

would you rather feel every sense a random stranger does, with the person changing every day or every time you take medicine to get rid of symptoms that time the medicine is effective for is just added back into the total experiencing symptom time at the end. so like if you were going to have a three hour headache and take an advil, the hour it relieves you is just added to later and you still get a three hour headache but later.

[kittybugz]

me, being humble: oh I don’t make that much.

the irs: you are going to jail. bitch.

[kittybugz]

me, at my first time at one if these hibachi things: so cool… flip the bottle!

the subway sandwich artist: I will kill myself in front of you right now

[kittybugz]

critics will eat candy that’s sour and go “sour. 2.6/10.”

[kittybugz]

they won’t stop trying to recruit me. will again be hiring a mental bodyguard like I had to for girl scout cookie season.

[kittybugz]

taking a smoke break even though I don’t smoke just so I can go outside and rip ass

[kittybugz]

gonna invent a new drug called ants. makes you feel like the ants are here.

[kittybugz]

[kittybugz]

If I don’t see you at the polls today I’m going to find out where you live so I can break into your house and give your pet treats so they’ll love me more than you.

[kittybugz]

Inconvenienced a lesbian today. Sorry Lesbians.

[kittybugz]

If you put Gordon Ramsey and Super Nanny in a room together, who would win?

[kittybugz]

I would like an episode of each show where these two switch places with no explanation.

Spencer would be hanging out there on his twentieth degree, randomly info dumping while Abed would love playing a detective and would correct unsubs on what their next lines should be in interrogations.