Not today Justin
Mike Driver
i don't do bad sauce passes

titsay
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

ellievsbear
Xuebing Du

Andulka

Discoholic šŖ©
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wallacepolsom

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Cosimo Galluzzi
art blog(derogatory)
Cosmic Funnies
tumblr dot com

ā
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hello vonnie
Sade Olutola
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@kittycahoots
being married to an elf would suck bc theyād just be like āi wrote a short ballad on the subject of our love. would you like to hear it?ā *proceeds to sing for the next 12 hours without pause because thatās whatās considered brief by elf standards* and being married to a dwarf would suck bc theyād be like *spends 36 hours carving a pattern into a single face of a hammer theyāre working on because you ācanāt rush artā and forgets that you even exist until youāre forced to come down and persuade them to return to the surface to take a nap before they collapse of exhaustion* so you really canāt win
youāre too smart to be following me
I want this on my tombstone
When your high leveled character goes unconscious.Ā
@chersidamas
man i should use this for hiatus announcements
Studycat
āWhen I started my musical career, I was a maid,ā she told the audience. āI used to clean houses. My parents, my mother was a proud janitor. My stepfather, who raised me like his very own, worked at the post office and my father was a trash man ā they all wore uniforms. And thatās why I stand here today in my black and white and I wear my uniform to honor them.ā
Yall better not be pretending that Janelle Monae doesnāt fucking exist
Mario Cart stats
Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.
Iād brandish my obsidian knife at them and theyād be compelled to approach. āThatās very cool,ā theyād say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. Theyād shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. āBut as it is volcanic glass, itās very fragile, you see, and isnāt well-suited for use as a weapāā and then Iād hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
Showed my Geologist dad a picture of the obsidian knife you had and he nearly said this exact thing word for word. I can't believe my own father would fall prey to this. Clearly you know thine enemy
I work too closely with geologists not to have a contingency plan for eliminating them.
Are you interested in anybody at the moment?
my future self, imma give that bitch the whole goddamn world
only time ive ever felt loved was when i was eating a red berry parfait and walking to the library but a girl ran smack into me getting us both covered in berries then she grabbed my hand and said "ill never be sorry enough, but you look so beautiful" and she ran away and i just have to live w this empty hole where my heart lay
in that moment i really was ready to do any thing if she had held onto my hand and ran in to traffic i wouldve followed like a lost puppy smeared in red sugar entranced as persephone was to the pomegranate i wouldve died right there with out a second thought and i couldnt even fault her for beguiling me so, in that moment, love was so easy ; it was blameless
Masturbate šš» that šš» stress šš» away šš»
By Carly Rae Jepsen
Is it too much to ask for someone to call me bro and babygirlļæ¼?
i often forget that the body is not a receptacle. not a vessel in which i reside. itās ME. like thatāsĀ me right there! it isnāt disconnected from my mind or spirit or selfhood because itās just me. i can no sooner escape it or change it in any drastic way than i can stop being myself. & if i am to be any sort of happy in this life, i need to treat it kindly. cruelty towards oneās body is just cruelty towards oneās self. they are one and the same
Not-so-friendly reminder that there is no such thing as an underage woman or non-consensual sex, the words youāre looking for are āchildā and ārapeā. Way less syllables and way more accurate! Thank you for your time.
Have yāall seen the transcripts of Prince Charles cheating on his wife over the phone?
HELLOOO
Making my 2020 bucket list so help a girl out!
Dystopian novels be like āthereās no music but our national anthem and this forbidden rebel songā as if all of earth really let go of ABBA music
Consider: the forbidden rebel songs are all from ABBA.
#mama mia *cocks shotgun as i prepare to overthrow the oppressive regime* here i go again
this is all iāve ever wanted