[kittyluvr333]

reaching out.

hey guys- there’s been so much media coverage on suicide lately so i wanted to tell you guys that i’m here for you. i could not care less if we’ve never talked before or if we don’t know each other- send me a message or something and i promise i will be here for you. just in general tho, if you’re struggling PLEASE reach out. please. you mean so much- every one who sees this. you see posts like this all the time saying how you matter and you’re important and maybe you don’t think anything of it and swipe. but i mean it. i really, truly mean it. i am here for every single one of you.

PLEASE reach out. mental illnesses are so real.

if you live in the us- the national suicide hotline number is 1-800-273-8255

i love you. (i’m trying to add # so this will hopefully reach whoever needs to hear this.)

[kittyluvr333]

⚠️tw: ed (e@ting disorder)⚠️

i fucking hate eating disorders. i fucking hate them. i hate them. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it.

i just want to be able to eat with my family

i want to let my siblings buy me food when they want

i want to not have a breakdown over calories

i want to not have a breakdown after eating for the first time in a day or two

i want to not have a breakdown every time i see myself in a mirror or on a scale

i want to just stop

[kittyluvr333]

i would like to go by any pronouns like i wouldn’t mind if people called me by she/her or they/them or he/him or any mix. i would kinda like it or appreciate it idk. i kinda like he/they like i feel like really comfortable with he/they but i’m so fucking scared to come out and say that so i’d rather just say any pronouns but i’m scared to even do that. i could just put she/her/any in my bio but what if lgbtq+ people or gender fluid/non-binary people in in general think i’m doing that for attention or just put any in there to act cool or something? i would rather just put any pronouns but if my siblings or cousins or literally anyone confronted me about it i would freak out. idk can someone give me advice? (i put a lot of tags so more people would see and hopefully know what to do)

[kittyluvr333]

i may not be that hot, but at least i know the differences between effect, affect, who’s, whose, your, you’re, our, are, when to use whom, and how to use ;, (), and ‘s. english isn’t even my first language, you americans better catch up [lipbite].

[kittyluvr333]

*!aot manga spoilers, 139 too!*

i feel like the people who associate the song that’s like “all for nothing at all” with eren don’t really understand his motive and how he succeeded. he knew mikasa and armin would stop him, that was the whole idea so to say that the rumbling was for nothing at all wouldn’t be true. he needed to be with zeke so he could get to the paths and talk to ymir and erase the memories of his friends from when they said goodbye. also to eradicate the existence of titans. sure in the beginning, it might’ve been all for nothing at all but now it’s not. he said he wanted to kill all the titans and he did.

[kittyluvr333]

aot fandom is so fatphobic...

levi when the scouts got introduced in season 4 and people called him “round” or “fat” and said he looked bad like...is there something wrong with being fat..? and then in the newest episode they’re making fun of armin and saying stuff like “he got his father’s genes” or that he’s “starting to look like his father” or whatever like..? what. they’re not little kids anymore, attack on titan has the most realistic body types- the thing you guys preach about but when we actually get realistic body types you guys share them like what? i know they’re just drawings and shit but people turn so fast on their fave characters because they look bigger or fat. so annoying.

[kittyluvr333]

you ever get so down bad you turn off your dnd for them

[kittyluvr333]

*spoilers for “they both die at the end”*

hey there delilah by plain white t’s is rufus and mateo’s song. hear me out.

the whole song. the whole song is their song. it’s so obvious, it’s so their song.

so in the end, after mateo dies, rufus leaves and listens to his singing, right?

“im right here if you get lonely, give this song another listen, close your eyes, listen to my voice it’s my disguise- i’m by your side.”

..that’s literally them.

rufus walks across the street without a hand holding him back, listening to his song being sung by the love of his life. mateo was with him before rufus died.

[kittyluvr333]

*spoilers for “they both die at the end”*

continuation from my last post- you know the song cherry by harry styles? do you think aimee and lidia felt like that when rufus and mateo found each other? like when they realized they were in love? do you think the line “don’t you call him baby, we’re not talking lately. don’t you call him what you used to call me” describes what aimee felt when rufus and mateo got together romantically but platonically when lidia saw them? if that makes sense.

[kittyluvr333]

*spoiler for “they both die at the end”*

just thinking about how they never really got to say goodbye.

just thinking about how in the beginning mateo said he was raised in his home and would die in his home.

just thinking about how he knew the stove was broken.

just thinking about how rufus died listening to mateo singing to him.

just thinking about how finding each, indeed did kill them.

just thinking about how so many songs fit them- so well (ribs by lorde, “you’re the only friend i need”, like real people do by hozier, kiss goodnight by idkhbtfm, carry me out, burning hill, pink in the night, francis forever, your best american girl- anything by mitski, two ghosts- harry styles, etc.).

just thinking about how mateo probably thought his father wouldn’t love him the same or lidia either if they knew who he loved so he neglected that feeling.

just thinking about the part where rufus holds mateo’s hand before jumping.

just thinking about how rufus was the reason mateo lived so long that day and mateo was the reason he died so shortly after he did.

just thinking about how no one could tell the pluto’s rufus had died, they just kind of assumed the next day i guess.

just thinking about how rufus was left behind again but he probably thought he was the one who left mateo.

just thinking about how rufus probably blamed himself for not getting up earlier, thinking he could’ve saved mateo.

just thinking about how rufus lied to the ambulance and said mateo never got the call.

just thinking about how all the stories connect.

just thinking, just thinking, just thinking.

[kittyluvr333]

cant tell if i wanna look like dazai or if i just think he’s beautiful ?

[kittyluvr333]

i hate leaving my room, rn it’s raining and all my lights are off and i’m just listening to music and shit but damn i gotta pee. i hope someone relates to this so i don’t look like dumb.

[kittyluvr333]

!tw! i’m talking about eating disorders.

i suffer from an eating disorder. i have ever since i was maybe 8 or 9 years old. during national eating disorder awareness week, a lot of attention has been brought to this topic and instead of helping, it’s just triggered me more and has made me relapse and feel guilty when i do eat. i know this isn’t the case for everyone but that’s how my mind reacted. i have never told anyone about my eating disorder because- and i’m sure most of us feel this way but i don’t like talking about it. so instead of me telling you guys who suffer from these to just eat or to eat because your body deserves it, i will tell you something else because for me those never worked. they actually made me feel worse. it’s ok to relapse. it’s ok to have a few days that are worse than others. it’s ok. you don’t have to recover right now, tomorrow, next week, next month- whenever. you are not obligated to. take it at your own pace because i know how suffocating it is to suffer from this firsthand and not know what to do. it’s ok to feel helpless because that’s what makes us human. take your time and do it at your own pace. progress is progress no matter how big or little. i’m proud of you and i know every post like this says “i’m proud of you” but i genuinely mean it. if you haven’t been told this already, i am so proud of you. even if we don’t know each other, i’m proud of you.

[kittyluvr333]

lol will never forget when i had a “crush” or whatever on my boyfriend’s cousin that was a girl. knowing that i was more attracted to her than him caused an awakening in me. they weren’t really cousins cousins but just close family friends ig lol

[kittyluvr333]

if someone manifested ranpo, i know he could cure covid in like 3 seconds. glasses- boom. he got a whole solution. greatest detective & others.

[kittyluvr333]

pretty privilege is so real in anime lmao. hunterxhunter for example: tonpa does not deserve the amount of hate he gets. ya, he’s an annoying/frustrating character but when it comes to actual problematic characters like hisoka and chrollo- everyone let’s it pass and like adores these characters. chrollo literally committed genocide on kurapika’s clan and hisoka is a pedø. like..? like if you want to favorite these characters or stan them, you do you. like to each its own. i’m just saying that it’s kind of weird how just because they’re attractive people let their actions go unbothered and them unaccountable. just imo

[kittyluvr333]

something i’ve come to realize is that i seriously don’t give a fuck about pronouns people use for me. like i would prefer she/her maybe (?) but i don’t really care. also i wanna be feminine like a guy is like that’s how i wanna look. does that make sense or am i just stupid?