he's my friend. always has been. kind of friend I trust to hold my drink. kind of friend I trust to drive me home, walk me home when I'm flushed and drunk and wearing heels. he's nice. he's big enough to scare off guys who creep me out. which happens often, cause i like to look pretty. I joke that he always knows best. I'm so lucky to have a friend like him. so grateful.
so grateful, in fact, that he's the one I get to take me home when someone puts something in my drink. and when he suggests his place because it's closer I agree. why wouldn't I? so he drives me to his and puts me on his sofa while I'm dazed and gets me some water and sits with me. And it takes me a minute to notice that his hand is on my thigh. I look up at him, hazy, in my short dress. the one I asked him to pick for me.
he pulls it off. He's not careful. He's been careful enough all this time. Not letting me know how much he wants me. Not letting me see. Taking things without my noticing. Keeping his voice steady while he jerks off to me when we're on the phone. now he's gonna have his reward. he's gonna show me just how grateful I can be.
he plays with me roughly. I'm crying, trying to stay conscious, barely able to move. I just have to take it, let him grope at my tits, my ass, my thighs, let him manhandle me like a doll, let him leave bruises wherever he likes. maybe he talks to me. tells me how he's been watching me. everything I thought was a friendship was his way of getting what he wanted.
and now he has me. gets to do what he likes. takes my pussy first. he can use my mouth later. Fucks me harder than I've ever had it. probably bruises my insides as well as my outsides. holds me down and makes me take it just like he wants. Just like he's imagined. but he's done imagining.
the first time he comes inside me that night, I'm crying, begging him to stop. by the second I just take it. and the third time, he forces an orgasm out of me, too, tells me my body knows what I need, what my body is for, who I belong to. I was always going to be his. his to fuck, his to punish, his to keep. I just didn't know it.
and even then, even when I feel so destroyed, so afraid, part of me knows it's true.
all I can wonder is whether this is really the first time, or just the first time I remember.
vaporwave
pixelskylines
blakekathryn
theartofmadeline
turnnoffyourmind
