Fashion & Excessive worrying

Hobbies include hating capitalism, plant-care, obsessing over James Flint's freckles,  reading fanfics, sipping tepid tea from forgotten mugs and violence.

[miamaimania]

Pigeon 215 by Unknown ⌘ Water bends to nature’s simple needs

[zarvasystem]

wator

[st-just]

A character trait/dynamic that I'm endlessly compelled by is someone dealing with (or, like, failing to) being the child of people who were too busy being good people to have the time and attention to be good parents. This can be anywhere from 'was a public defender who gave a shit working 60 hour weeks with basically no vacations' to 'left their family behind to join the revolution/war effort and is now a universally beloved martyr-hero who saved/remade the world with their final breath' on the groundedness spectrum. The important thing is a viscerally felt but confused and ugly mess of longing, resentment, and guilt about feeling the resentment.

[stuckinapril]

I’ve had tumblr for 4 years but some of you bitches have had it for a decade. It’s time to seek penance

[stuckinapril]

wait I’m curious now . Reblog this with how long u’ve been on tumblr for. Dating back to ur oldest blog ever !!!

[iamjaynaemarie]

Dangers of working on a set.

That’s what I said.

[seawitchkaraoke]

Okay but you forgot the best part! During the scene where Aragorn, Gandalf and the other Main CharaktersTM ride ahead to go shout at the gate (and talk to the mouth of sauron in the extended edition) they were very firmly told only to ride up  ahead “this far” because that area was cleared and beyond that it wasn’t.

But. Viggo Mortensen is absolutely mad and lead them just…. a bit farther than that. Everyone else was very scared they might blow up any second. Viggo said it “added a little extra tension”.

[mikkeneko]

[ithinkitsdashing]

#they just don’t make behind the scenes stories like lotr anymore

[ophidahlia]

Viggo was just Like That™ for the whole trilogy, taking method acting to extreme levels:

he would spend multiple days walking overland to locations in full pack, sword, & armour when everyone else was travelling in trucks

refused to use any prop swords that weren’t actual steel

basically lived in the forest in-costume, sleeping rough under the sky, even fishing & foraging for his food when possible

often spent hours in the barn just bonding with the horses. He adopted the horse he rode, Uranus, after filming ended

repaired all his own gear by hand, which was often since he never took it off

had a tooth knocked out during filming but had the crew simply glue it back in place so they could keep filming

the instructor who taught everyone swordplay said Viggo was the best swordsman he had ever trained

carried his sword literally everywhere & practiced non-stop, resulting in the cops being called when locals reported “a wild man swinging a sword around his head" outside a gym in Wellington

an orc actor fucked up & accidentally threw a dagger directly into Viggo’s face, but Viggo just deflected it with his sword. They kept that shot

infamously broke 3 toes kicking that helmet but stayed in-character & sold his very real scream as part of the scene. They also kept that shot

Viggo insists on doing his own stunts; in The Two Towers where Aragorn is unconscious & floating down the river, the strong current pulled him underwater for so long that a rescue team had to go in to save him. Viggo survived by grabbing a boulder on the riverbed and pulling himself to the surface

It’s probably more accurate to say that Aragorn played Viggo Mortensen in the off season, so I’m 100% unsurprised to hear he put a whole crowd of fellow actors in genuine mortal peril for a 12% increase in authenticity

[teaboot]

On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.

It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.

I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.

My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.

Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.

It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.

I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".

Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.

Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.

It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.

[animentality]

[theunmarkedtombstone]

THE VAMPIRE LESTAT E03 'TORONTO' + HERE WITH ME dir. Tim Burton

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

“why are you, as someone in their 30s, still on tumblr” oh so you think you’re gonna be normal when you’re my age? you think you’re gonna be CURED?? you think the witches’ curse will have been lifted by then?? cmon now

[common--loon]

(removes the heating pad from my lower back) also baby this is my house???

[starlight-shadowbanned]

how old are you

under 30

30+

Voting ended onMay 12

[rowenamarion]

This is, in fact, my house.

[aorish-deactivated20251222]

Recent discourse reminds me of that cult indoctrination trick that's often used to weed out more difficult marks early on, where they tell you all that you aren't allowed to eat rice on Tuesdays and then if you protest they go "wow SOMEBODY likes rice a little much huh" as if you're the fucking weirdo who cares too much about how much rice is consumed between Monday and Wednesday instead of them.

And this forces you to decide whether your autonomy matters to you more than the approval of the group - while they'll still act like you're on thin ice either way, if you give in at this point they know you're theirs forever, because now they've established a foothold, you've shown a moral weakness, which they will brand you with so it can be used against you in the future ("hey RICE-addict here doesn't want help break into the city records office") to force you to double-down and isolate you further.

And if instead you do decide to push back further, after your abrupt departure from the group ("You're seriously leaving us over RICE?!? Seriously?") and subsequent ostracism, you can then be used as a demonstration to the others who were more pliable, of how the outgroup is full of people like you who are obsessed with violating the No-Tuesday-Rice rule to the point where they'll abandon all their friends, who cared so much for them, so it clearly isn't an arbitrary restriction, you're the kind of monster these rules are intended to protect them from, thus all the other wise and esoteric precepts of the charismatic leader are implied to be equally justified.

[doomhamster]

This isn't just for cults either! Shitty partners, bosses, friends - they all do variants of this where if you kick back the first time they make an unreasonable request, it proves you weren't ever committed since you'd let such a small thing ruin everything. And of course, if it's the third or the tenth unreasonable thing they ask of you, it's SUCH A SMALL THING to be a deal-breaker at this late point in your relationship!

[foolishmortal]

[expertpedestrian]

[probuccalfat]

dead serious normalize having an average boring ass life where you have enough to meet your needs we do not need to be remarkable we just need to be alive

[sc]

[homunculus-argument]

If you're trying to tell someone that something they did inadvertedly hurt your feelings, and they treat this conversation like a debate where their goal is to successfully argue that they did nothing wrong, and that you have no right to feel upset, that's your cue that you should give up trying to have any kind of a real, genuine relationship with them. Everyone will sometimes end up doing something that you hadn't realised would upset someone you care about, you can't be constantly aware of every single thing at all times. But turning the following conversation into an argument of uncompromisingly justifying and defending their actions is a sign you shouldn't ignore.

They don't think that upsetting you is the problem. What they have a problem with is you thinking you deserve better than how they want to treat you.

[theonewhopoops]

While I ultimately agree so I'm reblogging, just adding an additional perspective of my own:

It might not be so malicious a motivation. Instead of having a problem with "you thinking you deserve better than how they want to treat you," it could be zero percent about you and 100% about them in their mind (even ifthey can'tconsciously express this). It could be that the problem they have with this situation is the idea that they're doing harm, ESPECIALLY the idea that they're doing harm when they think they aren't.

I've met plenty of people that fall into this alternative category, where they ONLY see how hard they're trying, how stressed they are, how "good" of a person they're striving to be (from their worldview), and then they're told that - no - in fact they are hurting someone. Which can sound like "you are wrong, you are bad, you do bad things, and this has always been true and will always be true" so they get defensive and reactive.

All that is to say, the end result is the same: they may debate and defend instead of purposefully listen to your needs. YOU don't have to be the one to try to walk them through "how to calmly listen to someone without becoming defensive" or "how to reasonably accept criticism and talk through interpersonal issues" either way.

[edgarallennope]

[lotstradamus]

#in four days we could be seeing a prime minister every eight hours‚ until theyre coming every four minutes

[explorerrowan]

Make Larry the Chief Mouser the Prime Minister. He can't do a worse job.

[wolveswolves]

By Rainer Bilek

[terpsikeraunos]

the main piece of advice i have for students is this: learn how to fail and persevere. it is a skill that will help you in life far more than perfect grades. think of failure impersonally. when you fail, you have just eliminated one method that doesn’t work for you, so you need to try a different method in the future. figure out which factors contributed to the undesirable result, and change them. (teachers, advisors, and academic counselors can help you with this if you aren’t sure where to start). i know from personal experience that fear of failure is often a self-fulfilling prophecy, because it leads to self-sabotage. if you can learn not to think of it as an inherent personal flaw, but rather as a strategy that didn’t work for you and can be changed, you will be well-equipped to face the inevitable failures and rejections that are part of life.

[dsudis]

One of the most memorable experiences of my undergraduate education was when I got about two-thirds of the way through the semester in a Linguistics seminar and realized that I could not do the final project (a fifteen-page paper analyzing a metaphor theme, preferably in a foreign language: I was not competent in any foreign language and also still did not, at that point in the class, understand what fifteen pages of analysis of a metaphor theme could possibly look like.) (I still don’t today.)

Mathematically, if I didn’t pass the final project I wasn’t going to pass the class. I decided that I would just stop attending the class, since it was an exercise in misery and bewilderment and not accomplishing anything. But since there were only seven of us in the class and there was no way my absence would not be noticed, I decided to go to office hours and tell my professor that I was, effectively, dropping out of his class and accepting the consequences.

So I got there, sat down in front of his desk, and spit out the few sentences I had rehearsed to explain:  I hadn’t learned how to do what I had to do to pass the class, so I was going to fail and it didn’t seem worth anyone’s time to keep coming to class.

He did not argue with me or insist that I had to. (He also did not explain how to analyze a metaphor theme. Maybe it was not a thing that could be explained at office hours, or maybe he just recognized an undergraduate at the end of her rope.)

“Okay,” he said. “What have you learned?”

“Uh,” I said. “Well, I’ve done all the readings. They’re interesting, they just didn’t teach me how to analyze a metaphor theme.” (We had a book on metaphors that gave lots of examples of kinds of metaphors without any extensive analysis, and a wildly scattershot course pack that was half philosophy.)

“And what grade do you need in this class? What’s your GPA?”

I had a scholarship that depended on keeping an A- average, but I had some wiggle room and it was my senior year anyway, so I was unlikely to have it revoked for one semester. “Um. B? I mostly get As and Bs.”

“Okay,” he said. “Write me a paper on the readings, what you found most interesting and useful in them, and I’ll give you a B. And if you don’t learn anything else in college, learn this: everything can be negotiated.”

He gave me a B+. 

I graduated with honors, and also an intense experience of what Christians call grace: being given something I had not earned–could not have earned–simply because someone took mercy on me. But I had to acknowledge the failure to get there.