United States of Whatever @knockturntallie - Tumblr Blog

Another year, another outfit portrait for my girlfriend’s birthday! I swear, every year they re-do their whole aesthetic and its so fun to draw their progress while *checks notes* put on a slightly different skirt (and discover nose makeup).

arousedhoe

hey does anyone know the fastest way to clean up milk that’s covering every goddamn i nch of the kitchen floor

slightmood

i know a gal……she’s on her way

arousedhoe

thanks

slightmood

dimsumcart

date the kind of girl that eats all the snacks she buys in one day

herbivore-t

Finally a standard I can meet

growrotten

hey y’all do you want to see a dragon that i drew

growrotten

of course you do here he is

iansimpson

everythingfox

😂

bluejayrambles

Cat: *pulls handle to turn tap on* Tap: *turns on* Cat:

princesstigerbelle

The cat’s face 😂

hidiane

this concept has been torturing me for weeks so you all have to suffer it too

kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201

Crowley: devastatingly potent levels of romantic overture

Azpiraphale:☺️😯…🤔 ????? …????!?????

kadywicker

(insp)

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

oh my gosh :D

brainstatic

Y'all think being in a goth relationship means wearing white makeup together but Mary Shelley lost her virginity on her mother’s grave so maybe step it up.

bandydear

Mary Shelley carried her husband’s heart around and lived in a crypt after he died. No one will ever be as goth as Mary Shelley.

zoreta

She also wasn’t carrying around, like, a mummified heart. Her husband’s heart had calcified, meaning it had grown bone within itself and possibly around itself, and it is this heart of bone which she carried. When she was young she carried it wrapped in a silk pouch, and when older it was kept in her desk, wrapped in a page from his poem Adonais. Adonais was one of his last poems, in which a deceased poet’s subjects (nature, Spring, the stars) mourn him, and long to join him in death. Then the narrator tells them do not mourn, for he has gone beyond where the minds and emotions of humans matter, to the Natural Spirit that is the source of all beauty.

Of his poems, it is this which she wrapped his heart in. There is none. more. goth.

island-delver-go

It’s sad to realize that peak goth was hit so long ago

definetender

michaelfassyfastbender

Erik Lehnsherr, everybody.

pancakeke

this episode of mythbusters started with an apology holy shit

pancakeke

hypokeimena

can you imagine being 26 years old and in marketing and you want to settle down with a rich stupid man who’s crazy about you and you FIND a divorcee who hasn’t talked to his ex in over a decade and has a very forgiving custody arrangement that would easily enable boarding school and is willing to MARRY you after a SIX TO EIGHT WEEK SUMMER ROMANCE with NO PRENUP and then his brat kid comes back from summer camp and it turns out his ESTRANGED OTHER TWIN DAUGHTER came back from camp and they hijack your entire life and put a lizard on you and then your hot old man ditches you for his hot mess of an ex WHO DESIGNED… THE CUSTOM WEDDING DRESS YOU HAD ALREADY PAID FOR. truly. a roller coaster summer…. all that scheming WASTED