no cops at pride just bilbo and his conkers @knowndwarffucker - Tumblr Blog

If I met Gandalf in any public or private area, in any physical or metaphysical space, I would not hesitate before doing a running two foot mid kick right into his presumably present maiar balls. I would lay myself out on cold gravel just to ensure he experienced as much pain as possible before he obliterated my fragile mortal vessel. I would make that bastard angel WISH I were a balrog for all the agony and humiliation I would cause him. And then I would tell every soul I passed on my way to the halls a detailed account of the whole thing, so he could never live it down. I have never been more serious.

filthyprotozoan

we make fun of thorin getting lost in the shire but you know the nazgul also had to keep asking for directions to find bag end so maybe hobbits’ city planning is just wack

that-catholic-shinobi

The Hobbits have spent generations making their roads complex af to keep Gandalf out

under-the-arch

Theory accepted

ioannemos

#which is why they’re always so sulky whenever he shows up………….#oh………….you found ur way back………………how nice…………….. (via @thisbrilliantsky)

enjolrasapproves

Which is also why Gandalf is always late

ivanaskye

but of course this is the absolute Least successful way to keep GANDALF of all people out, because-

it’s a challenge

that WON’T potentially kill him

which is really in short supply lately.

so while the hobbits think they are being hostile. what they are actually saying in Gandalf-speak is “please come back. we love you.”

heyhosers

Gandalf needs environmental enrichment

alienfuckeronmain

we really need to talk about the deep homoeroticism of Donato Giancola’s LOTR paintings….

alienfuckeronmain

that fucking taming of Smeagol….WHY IS IT LIKE THAT

sar-kalu

Because hes not a coward. Next question

lmaonade

boys night

intense-pippin-appreciator

Boromir absolutely has to speak Sindarin because even though Faramir is the scholar of the two there's no way he could grow up as the steward's heir without learning it and that absolutely makes it so much funnier if aragorn and legolas have no idea

nerdeeart

Fili with some flowers!

A Birthday commission i drew a few weeks back. Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to all of you!!

hoppipollas

gus-dix

some dumb hobbit stuff! you can imagine ori is drawing the princes while they’re having their jealousy party (didn’t mean to connect the pics when i drew them but realizing it works made me happy)

do not erase the caption, use or rePOST my art (reblog ok)

maturiin

just thirteen dwarves and their hobbit!!

skepticalfrog

someone: it’s a boy!

dwarves: how do u know, when they can’t yet decide or speak to tell you...

a Man: 😂😂😂

dwarves: 😬😬🤢

bonus:

sirhenry-deactivated20210125

Fíli in An Unexpected Journey (2012) dir. Peter Jackson

#smart king #<3 break those glass walls baby. ur not a dumb blonde

russingon

weird hc hours! the rohirrim are afraid of ships and the sea DO NOT try to take them somewhere their horses don't like! they will leap overboard even though most of them can't swim

u know what i support it. headcanon approved. water-phobic rohirrim confirmed. the gondorians start talking abt glorious númenor and they’re like no thanks keep the island and the boats lads we’ll take our fields

russingon

faramir: and thus númenor was sank under great waves from eru ilúvatar

éomer, not really sure about all this god business but very sure ocean bad:

lesbiansforboromir

meladoodle

I’m in an air bnb and I’d like to give a big shout out to the 13 year old kid who usually lives in this room and has this up on display.

santas-clauze

boromirs

Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found…

catadromously

here are a few of Tolkien’s “Lady Ghosts,” characters only known by their relation to the main cast - Thorin’s sister, Boromir’s aunts, and Arwen & Aragorn’s daughters.