KODZUKEN

He/They

[kodzukens-streams]

intro post.

hi, I go by Kodzuken, also known as Kenma. I’m a streamer, pro gamer, and the ceo of bouncing ball corp. if you want to know more about me, you can join my discord server.

if you want to talk, just send me an inbox. or dm me, I dont really care. Just don’t be creepy.

OOC. Hey! I’m JEYMS, an aspiring music artist and a fanfic writer! My ao3 is @Kodzu_Official if you’re wondering. I do take requests for haikyuu fanfics, meaning you can ask for practically anything; rarepairs, popular pairs, AUs, add a certain scene, make it fluffy/angsty/romantic- whatever you want! Though note I am a minor so anything smutty is uncomfortable for me. SA is fine, I just won’t type it out (unless…), SH mentions and anything related to mental health is okay with me! I do know how to tag and warn my shit so people won’t read something they’re uncomfortable with. I love getting requests! If you’d like an example of my work, you can look at Owls In The Snow! My account is connected to other accounts, so if you happen to see other people with the same story, it’s likely just me on a different account LOL!

RP GUIDE

ONLINE FORMAT:

k, i gtg for school. bye.

IRL FORMAT:

kenma stares at his console, having to strain his neck looking down. he’s not really paying attention to the game, but at least it blocks out the overwhelming views and sounds of the actual world he isn’t ready to handle. “i’m going back inside, call me never.” he murmurs, walking away.

[kodzukens-streams]

hey yall, this is a more serious post than i usually do, and it is abput a fundraiser, but not for me.

one of my friends who means a whole lot to me has severe malnutrition and needs the treatment immediately. however, i can't donate to them, because i'm a minor.

instead, i'm trying to promote them here. the goal's 4k; i think we can do it!

https://gofund.me/bec86ff36

i really want to help this friend of mine, and we can't do it alone! please help us, tumblr :)

this is a note for the person who needs the funding.

hey, kenny. it's honestly been a while since we've talked, but i miss you. i never knew that was something you were struggling with, but i'm here now and ready to support you to the best of my ability. we'll get that 4k, and you'll get through this rough patch. even if you feel like we won't make it, or it's too hard, just know i'll always be here to cheer you up, on, and be a support pillar. i know we're not as close, but you're still a friend i value and that will never change.

[kykissesyourmom]

i guess the bottom vs top mike wheeler controversy is over…

[kodzukens-streams]

cough… iwaoi

[rewriterory]

Reo Mikage is Actually Great BPD Representation- Some Thoughts

So I had the extremely unfortunate experience of being exposed to Blue Lock (unfortunate because it's all my tiny pea brain can think about now), and while it is absolutely full of silly guys whose brains I want to pick, this little bugger really stood out to me. The second he came onto the screen, I KNEW I smelled the borderline on him. As I watched the series and read the manga, I noticed he is actually an incredibly well-written depiction of someone struggling with BPD. Reo is a super layered character and my favorite hobby is picking apart those layers and yapping incessantly about them, so here we are. I want to write this analysis for a few reasons:

1.) Too many people misunderstand Reo and categorize him as dramatic or childish without any elaboration and he deserves a proper character deep-dive. I think him being borderline explains a LOT of his reactions/choices throughout the story.

2.) Borderline representation is extremely important to me. I'm diagnosed borderline and have struggled with this disorder for around ten years now, so I get really excited when I spy BPD-coded characters (especially if they're likable people and not just ghoulish irredeemable villains or manic pixie dream girl characters). This disorder can be so isolating, especially when the majority of people will never even bother to research or understand it. I know that some people like to chalk Reo's emotional reactions up to him being a moody 17-year-old, but I think I have enough evidence to prove that this is undiagnosed BPD that's festering in his noggin. Not to mention, literally nobody else acts like this in the series. Reo is incredibly unique and distinct in the way he behaves through this narrative and I think it's way past the point of normal teenage angst. Regardless, believe what you want. He'll always be borderline to me tho <3

3.) I have a master's degree in English and what good is that if I don't write long, painful, pointless essays on anime guys? Not that this is exceptionally well written, I just like to laugh at myself for getting a whole M.A and then this is the shit I publish online lmao

By the end of this, I hope I can shed some light on wtf is going on inside of Reo's silly little head. (I'm also obviously not a psychologist, don't use any of this to diagnose yourself pls I don't need the scandal)

If you want to read, buckle up, because this is gonna be a long one!

First, let me define BPD- It's a personality disorder characterized by a long-standing pattern of instability in mood, interpersonal relationships, and self-image. At its core, it is a disorder categorized by emotional dysregulation (the inability to regulate one's emotional responses) People with BPD feel everything EXTREMELY hard. That's important to keep in mind IMO, because while their reactions may seem dramatic or extreme, what they're feeling IS dramatic and extreme. Everything they're feeling is amplified, so their reactions are amplified. Obviously from the outside, people assume it's an overreaction since they can't see what's going on inside the borderline's head. When you sit down and dissect the thought process of someone like Reo, it becomes a lot easier to understand why they react the way that they do to certain situations.

(Also, I'm not going to reiterate more than once that an explanation is not an excuse to treat people poorly. I cannot read ANYTHING on BPD without hearing every 2 minutes how the disorder isn't an excuse to hurt other people. We get it!! I'm explaining it, not excusing it. This enter essay is an analysis of why someone acts the way they do, not whether or not it's excusable)

So then, what behaviors/signs does somebody need to exhibit to receive a borderline diagnosis? The 9 diagnostic criteria for BPD are as follows:

1. Fear of abandonment

2. Unstable or changing relationships

3. Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self

4. Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors

5. Suicidal behavior or self-injury

6. Varied or random mood swings

7. Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness

8. Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights

9. Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality

Someone would only need 5 of these to receive a proper diagnosis. Just with the main story and the spin-off manga that is currently released, I think I have enough evidence to argue that Reo has 8 out of 9 criteria for a BPD diagnosis. For the sake of organization, I’m gonna group some of those together though, indicated by a + symbol. I also want to define a few important terms before I start yapping, so that y'all without BPD can understand wtf I'm even talking about.

Favorite Person (fp) - This is someone who holds massive significance in a borderline's life. They emotionally depend on this person a lot and to a certain extent, their worldview almost revolves around them.

Splitting- the change in perception of someone or something caused by black-or-white thinking or dichotomous thinking. It is the devaluation of someone who was once idealized and vice versa.

Mirroring (aka: the chameleon effect)- the constant, unconscious change in one's identity or sense of self by imitating another person’s behaviors, characteristics, or traits. It is common in people who have a vacant or distorted self-image which is a general symptom of BPD.

Now, time for me to break down the most prominent moments where Reo showcases borderline behavior. As I mentioned, I'm going to try and organize this under each criteria point (with some being grouped together)

Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self:

Before I delve into Reo's relationships, I want to start with his baseline sense of identity. It’s established early on that Reo is a very bored, empty, unsatisfied person. Nothing excites him, nothing motivates him, and everything is handed to him. He’s frustrated because his parents notoriously try and buy his affection even though he doesn't want anything. For most of his life up until the narrative starts, he's wandering through life empty and frustrated. That is, until he finally sets his sights on soccer and decides to dedicate his life to winning the World Cup:

The wording, 'proves my existence' is interesting here. I think this is the first instance Reo has felt alive. So far, the only notable thing about him has been his family and his money. He hasn't achieved anything exceptional for himself, but now he has that opportunity. With this goal, he can really build something up from nothing and make it his own. It's almost like he's clinging to this dream to prove that he has some purpose in his life other than being the family heir.

Now, this dream changes when he meets Nagi, of course. I'm not gonna focus too much on their relationship in this section, but I will mention that meeting Nagi shifted Reo's entire dream, and not for the better. Through the narrative, his dream went from:

Winning the World Cup

Winning the World Cup with Nagi

Proving to Nagi that leaving him behind was a mistake

Improving himself and becoming a good striker on his own

Being a tool for Nagi to become the best striker

Had Nagi not come in and ask for Reo to come back to him, I think Reo could have done a great job at establishing his own sense of identity without Nagi. But no matter how much he works on himself, with Nagi in the picture, he's never going to value himself more than Nagi. Reo lets Nagi cloud his identity to the point where Isagi calls him out and asks what he's even doing at Blue Lock in the first place, since he clearly can't survive on his own, he needs Nagi with him.

After dealing with the turmoil of being abandoned by Nagi, Reo goes through a few stages. He starts with wanting to become somebody worthy of being beside Nagi, somebody that Nagi would want to choose. Devoting himself to becoming stronger and more versatile, his end goal is to have Nagi realize he made a mistake by leaving him behind. After a few more matches, Reo starts to realize that he needs to grow and change and become a stronger, better version of himself for himself and not for other people.

He decides that the fight was all his fault to begin with, that he should have never forced Nagi to play soccer and now he is going to get back to what his dream was originally, combined with his new desire to be a stand-alone player (and person, for that matter). Reo accepts the mistakes that he made, admits that he shouldn't have forced his ideals onto Nagi, and resolves to become a better person for HIMSELF. That's excellent!

Of course, Reo can't be happy for TOO long. Nagi comes out of the woodwork saying that he can't beat Isagi on his own and asks for Reo's help. Reo does stand up for himself a bit, saying that Nagi is being inconsiderate of his feelings and mentioning how long it took for him to recover from Nagi leaving. Now, the BPD trait here is how Reo not only forgives Nagi and is jumping on him and hugging him THE NEXT PAGE, but he also just disregards everything he said in this sequence. In a matter of two minutes, he no longer wants to be a player that can fight on his own or improve for himself, he wants to improve for Nagi. He starts ruminating again about how hurt he was when Nagi left, but now he's saying all of it wasn't so that he could get stronger individually, it was so that he could be reunited with Nagi again. Nagi asking for his help and saying that now they can play together again motivate Reo more than anything we've seen so far. (Nagi notoriously throws Reo little affection crumbs like this that Reo eats up, but I'm not trying focus on that) Now, Reo's alright with being a tool for Nagi's success again. Everything that happened was supposed to make him stronger so he could be a better partner to Nagi, right? Reo also says as the chapter ends, to please let him be a part of Nagi's dream until Nagi becomes the world's best striker. That's literally so sad!

He's also immediately back to the 'our' 'we' 'us' talk as well. If he can master his chameleon style in order to keep Nagi above the rest of the players, he wont get left behind again. If he devotes his time and energy into being a solo striker like the rest of these guys, Reo knows that he wont be able to keep up. This was always supposed to be his role, right? Building Nagi up to his full potential! :*)

I also like the detail that Reo is back to hugging Nagi and holding him, but Nagi never really touches him back. I think Reo's love language is touch for sure, not that it's incredibly relevant, but I do think it shows that Reo is back to being 100% comfortable around Nagi as if their fight never happened. I hear a lot of fans asking how Reo could have forgiven Nagi so easily, and I say this with my entire chest, it's the BPD. The black-and-white thinking combined with Nagi being Reo's fp and the excruciating pain of being abandoned by him in the first place ?? Of course he's going to take him back. Also, I've seen people blame Reo for not saying no to Nagi when he asks for help and I have to say that is an absolutely insane take. How are we gonna look at a panel where Nagi asks for help and then blame Reo for helping him?? I'm not going to focus on it too much in this post but in my opinion, it is crazy how little accountability both the narrative + fans give Nagi. Reo is pegged as responsible for both of their downfalls and it's nuts tbh.

Currently in the story, I think Reo's identity is still centered around Nagi. It's really easy for borderlines to structure their entire lives and personalities around their favorite person, but I can only hope that these two keep having open and honest discussions with one another. Hopefully, Reo will eventually learn that he can exist without Nagi and that he's more than just 'his arms and legs'.

Unstable or Changing Relationships:

The most notable relationship in Reo's life is Nagi. They're both each other's first real friends, which already sets up a less-than-ideal dynamic. Nagi has no idea how to communicate and he has pretty weak emotional intelligence. On the other hand, Reo is great at communicating, but he isn't used to regulating his emotions. For a lot of borderlines, they can go a very long time without experiencing any symptoms when they don't have a favorite person. When you think about it, the bulk of the disorder is shown through those interactions with other people. If Reo has never had a real friend in his life, I don't think he'd be used to the emotional turmoil that comes with having a fp.

The minute Reo meets Nagi, he's attached. All his classmates notice it, too. They question why Reo is suddenly so obsessed with this random kid who has no interest in him. Reo is ignoring everybody that isnt Nagi.

Very quickly, Reo boils down his view of the world to being him and Nagi versus everybody else, and he makes that very clear. It also depicts something that I think is incredibly crucial to Reo’s character that a lot of people overlook; as Nagi develops to be Reo’s favorite person, Reo’s dream isnt ‘playing soccer’ anymore. It’s Nagi. It’s being with Nagi, playing soccer with Nagi, being useful to Nagi, taking care of Nagi, and being somebody important to Nagi. He doesnt teach Nagi the rules or how to actually play, he teaches Nagi how to play with him. He literally re-writes and re-structures the game so that it can center around him and Nagi. Nagi calls him out on this in the spin-off manga:

Reo doesnt care about the structure of the game, he cares about Nagi. The other people on the field don't matter. The other team doesn't matter. He also starts to unknowingly put Nagi up on a pedestal, which is another borderline trait. He starts reiterating that Nagi is special, he's different from everybody else, he's destined to achieve great things. The more he raises Nagi up, the more he isolates the two of them in his mind, reiterating the idea that it's them against everybody else. His language reflects this too: Reo exclusively talks with 'us' 'we' 'our', insinuating that they're going to do everything together.

When Ego says that there can't be two winners, Reo says that he'll make Nagi the best striker. His 'ego' will be making Nagi successful. Along with putting Nagi on this pedestal, Reo also very early on establishes the fact that he'd pick Nagi over himself any day of the week. He's the only person in Blue Lock who really couldn't care less about becoming a striker himself: his dream is to be a tool in Nagi's success. Or, in simpler terms, he wants to be useful and make Nagi happy.

These two were in trouble from the very beginning. Nagi is lazy as all hell, has 0 motivation to do anything, and his dream is to live a life of luxury and never have to work. Reo, being the borderline baddie that he is, is more than happy to do EVERYTHING for Nagi. Borderlines love extremely hard! It's one of our best traits and I think it's important to showcase that Reo is a massive sweetheart at his core. He clearly loves Nagi a lot and goes to extreme lengths to make sure he feels taken care of. To someone with BPD, NOTHING is too big of an ask for a person they love, especially if that person is their fp. I also disagree with the argument that Reo 'made' Nagi codependent. Nagi likes being taken care of, he says it all the time. If you ask me, I would actually argue that Nagi takes advantage of Reo a little bit because he knows that Reo will do anything for him. But regardless, I think that Reo starts to develop an unspoken expectation with Nagi that he'll provide him with everything he needs, and in turn, Nagi will stick around. I don't think he's doing this intentionally, nor do I think it's being done in a manipulative way. I just think that Reo has a dormant fear of being abandoned that he doesn't totally know he has yet.

It isn't just Nagi that Reo showcases having unstable relationships with, though. Zantetsu is another good example. Reo starts out disliking Zantetsu, he snaps at him a couple times, and calls him a moron more than once. He starts to warm up to him because Nagi tells him to. The favorite person has MASSIVE sway in the borderline's life. If Nagi likes someone, Reo likes them too. (This is, of course, on the condition that they aren't a threat, looking at you Isagi).

In the immediate next chapter, Reo is acting like they're all best friends. He's climbing on top of them in their big bed, saying that the three of them are gonna win their matches, being a little pookie. He goes from not liking this guy at all to considering him one of his close friends super fast. Also on the topic of Isagi, when they're making up the teams for the second selection, Nagi doesn't initially want to tell Reo that he wants Isagi on their team bc he's worried Reo will be upset. But, when he does finally say it, Reo is literally fine with it because like I said, who Nagi likes, Reo likes! On the condition that they don't replace Reo, which clearly happened soon after.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Reo also shows how he can go from loving someone to despising him very quickly. After Chigiri and Kunigami tell him to get back up in the game post-Nagi's abandonment, we can literally see the switch flip in Reo's head:

Suddenly, he hates Nagi. Nagi's a jerk who abandoned him; he never cared about him, and he threw him away. Dude literally says "Let's kill the bastards that betrayed us". This act of unintentional devaluing is called splitting. What Reo's essentially doing is going from one extreme to the other: if Nagi isn't his perfect treasure, he's the devil that broke his heart. There's no room for a grey area. The reasoning behind borderline's developing this black-and-white mindset is rooted in self-defense. If Reo devalues Nagi into being nothing more than a traitor, then he's stripping away the power that Nagi has to hurt him. If he looks at him like a rival or a villain, it's protecting him from being hurt by Nagi again.

That doesn't mean that he genuinely believes any of this, more so, he's trying to convince himself that it's true. We see that at his core, the reason he's acting like this is because he's hurt. I'll go more into it later on, but he's constantly thinking, what does Isagi have that I don't? What do I have to do in order to win Nagi back? This black-and-white thinking is an automatic self-defense mechanism that I think he's doing subconsciously. Regardless, the shifting he's doing here can cause a little whiplash, which brings me to:

Varied or random mood swings + Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights:

I can’t think of a better way to describe Reo's temperament than the wiki, so let me quote it: "Generally, he seems to feel every emotion with full force and is extremely aware of his own faults and shortcomings, which is evident in several instances of painful breakdowns shown in the spin-off manga. Due to his high emotionality, he can even get violent when he loses his temper."

Reo is characterized as being emotionally unstable. When he's happy, he's elated! When he's sad, he's miserable. There are a ton of scenes between the manga and spin-off manga that show how fast his emotions can flip, but this one was one of my personal favorites:

In this scene, Reo has developed a little scheme in the dining hall where the guys are trading their side dishes. At face value, a throwaway moment. But, I think it's worth looking at because not only does this show Reo's emotional response being triggered in an opposite, semi-extreme direction, but the root cause for the reaction was that he felt rejected by Zantetsu. In his own weird way, he's asking Zantetsu to come over and hang out with him. He's not being exceptionally clear with that message, but I can still pick up on it. "You wanna join in, don't you?" He's extending the invite, making himself vulnerable, and Zantetsu shoots him down by saying nah, I'm fine with my noodles. Reo JUMPS on him like YOU KNOW WHAT? I TOOK THAT PERSONALLY! lol. Jokes aside, I think this moment is a great one to argue Reo's BPD tendencies because it's such a seemingly mundane interaction. Even Zantetsu is surprised by Reo's random outburst. This also sets up the fact that one of Reo's most obvious triggers is being rejected/abandoned/betrayed, an extremely common one between those of us with BPD.

Other instances of Reo having a bad temper are a lot more obvious. In the match against teams V and Z, Reo straight up elbows Raichi in the throat, and then tries to go throw hands with Kuon for hurting Nagi. He only stops because if he gets into any more fights, he’ll get thrown out of the game and won't be able to play with Nagi anymore. He’s visibly pissed though and calls Team Z a joke. Hell, even Reo himself can recognize on a certain level that he can't control his emotions: they control him. They cloud his judgment and make him react in ways that he wish he didn't.

He is constantly plagued by these extreme emotional reactions that are out of his control. Not to say that people with BPD are unable to ever control their emotions, because we can! It takes time and therapy and practice though, which Reo hasn't had. His lack of regulation is also why he has such a dramatic and extreme meltdown when Nagi abandons him.

Fear of Abandonment:

Reo's biggest trigger and the cause of his inner turmoil throughout Blue Lock is his fear of abandonment. I mentioned before that I think he's had this fear dormant inside of him for a while as so many borderlines do, since he hasn't had the chance to experience it before. He alludes to it early on when they first arrive at Blue Lock:

The thought of leaving Nagi for somebody else? Reo considers that heartless. They came together, after all. They're going to win the world cup together. Nagi could break both of his legs and Reo wouldn't leave him, because again, Reo isn't there to team up with the best player and become the best striker in the world: he's there to play with Nagi!! And, like I said, in Reo's mind it's him and Nagi vs everyone else-

Reo exhibits a lot of signs early on of being jealous while they're playing in Blue Lock. I mean, as we discussed, everything should be focused around him and Nagi. When Nagi passes to Zantetsu in the team V and Y match, Reo pulls up like 'hey, why didn't you pass it to me?? ):' There are a lot of little moments like that, but Reo's jealousy is a lot more relevant to my argument after he gets abandoned by Nagi.

Let's talk about that word: abandoned. It seems dramatic, right? Reo uses that term constantly and exclusively. Every time he brings that moment up, he uses the word 'abandoned', or he'll say 'betrayed' or 'chose'. These are very definitive words. He’s not saying Nagi ditched him or flaked on him or blew him off, no; he has abandoned him. That word choice may seem disproportionate to the situation, but that's Reo's reality. This was the ultimate betrayal to him. The constant use of that vocabulary reiterates that in Reo's mind, there is no grey area. Either Nagi chooses him, or he chooses someone else. In choosing someone else, he abandons Reo. Reo is paranoid that Nagi isn't ever going to come back to him and it's because of something that Reo is lacking. How can Nagi like Isagi more than him, anyway?

Now, I do fault Nagi a bit for not communicating better at that moment. I understand that he's bad at communication, but I don't think Reo could have been more obviously upset if he tried. The dude was in TEARS. Nagi saw him devastated and then expected everything to be fine when he met him in the bathhouse? Idk. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he didn't realize it would upset Reo to such an extreme: maybe he thought that they would miss each other, but Reo wouldn't take it personally. I'm doing my best not to harp on Nagi since this is about Reo.

Abandonment is detrimental to people with BPD. It causes extreme inner turmoil that we see with Reo as the story progresses because it is the only thing he can think about. If he isn't trying to cover up his hurt feelings with this idea of revenge, he's self-destructing over being abandoned. He becomes obsessed with wondering why Nagi chose Isagi over him. Was there something wrong with him? Isagi isn't that impressive, why would Nagi rather be with him? These thoughts torture him endlessly and fuel his desire to 'steal' Nagi back. He literally says to Isagi, that he's going to steal Nagi back. Much to his dismay though, Reo starts to notice that Isagi is bringing out some positive traits in Nagi. Nagi's entire vibe is different with Isagi. Nagi is having fun playing soccer without Reo. In fact, he's having more fun. He's making plays he's never made before. His face is visibly different; he's more excited than before.

This is heartbreaking for Reo. Not only was he right that Isagi did have something to offer Nagi that he couldn't, but Reo is having a massive self-hate spiral during this point as well, so he's internalizing all of his flaws and mistakes while the thought is sitting in the back of his head: did Nagi actually have a good reason for abandoning me? Was I not enough to satisfy him? Did I only drag him down? This gets significantly worse the longer he watches Nagi and Isagi play:

Everything is falling apart. Nagi is doing completely fine without Reo, and Reo is an absolute mess. We're circling back to Reo's lack of identity here as well. He's watching firsthand that he's losing Nagi to Isagi: what does he do? What happens to him if he loses Nagi, who is he without Nagi? He's overwhelmed during this match and at one point Reo literally screams that he's going to tear apart their connection. Jealousy is consuming him, but it's also those feelings of inferiority and wondering if he really did deserve to be abandoned. If Nagi is so happy without him, maybe he really did have a reason. These are the thoughts that are circling around in Reo's head. Not to mention, he is constantly tortured by the flashbacks of Nagi leaving him, which I think is a great detail. Some readers might say it's just pointless recapping but I disagree, I think it's depicting how traumatic that was for Reo. As a borderline, being abandoned by your fp IS traumatic. Reo relives that moment so many times because so many things trigger it for him throughout Blue Lock. He can't even look at Chigiri and Kunigami without thinking about him and Nagi. It's a really devastating experience that quickly deteriorates him emotionally.

Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness + Suicidal behavior or self-injury:

One of my favorite things about Reo is the fact that he is self-aware that he's behaving somewhat irrationally, but he doesn't know how to stop. When we look at one of the several times that Reo is curled up crying over Nagi, he mentions how he really did want to tell Nagi to go and have fun, but he didn't. He couldn't. The visuals shift for this too:

Reo doesnt want to be acting this way, but he can't help it, and that's frustrating to him. It makes him start feeling ashamed of himself. His inner thoughts start to spiral and he feels weak and alone. He's reflecting here on what his true feelings really were at that moment, and how scared and lonely and weak he felt as a result of Nagi leaving him behind.

These feelings quickly evolve into Reo feeling worthless and falling into bouts of self-hatred. He's so ashamed of the way he's feeling and behaving but it feels so out of his control. He says, "maybe if I hadn't gone to Blue Lock in the first place, I wouldn't have to experience this feeling." As I said before, borderline's feel things EXTREMELY intensely; the disorder is described as living with third-degree burns all over your body. Everything hurts. His feelings are so intense and all-consuming right now, it's all he can think about:

I saw some posts in the fandom reddit asking why Reo is acting like this. One in particular reads: "I get that he is betrayed and stuff but he is acting like it’s the end of the world, is it explained later why he acts like this? Is it because he doesn’t think he can win without Nagi?" Not to call this person out, I just want to answer the question in this post-

It has nothing to do with winning; it was never about winning. It was always about Nagi.

If we're looking at Reo through the borderline lens, it IS the end of the world for him. Nagi was his world. What's worse, he's fully aware that he's not acting rationally and he doesn't know why, which is making him feel ashamed and weak and embarrassed. Now I know why he's acting like this, but there are no Blue Lock psychiatrists sitting around to wack him with the mood stabilizers or the DBT handbook, so he's gonna stay feeling like a monster.

He lets these thoughts, along with the resentment and anger from being abandoned in the first place, fuel him for the second selection match. As he's watching the game play out, as Nagi is about to score the winning goal, Reo's mind starts racing with intrusive, negative thoughts.

He's praying that Nagi fails, that he gives up, that he stops trying, anything to stop that solidifying moment where he scores the winning goal and proves once and for all that not only was Reo not strong enough to stop him, but Nagi doesn't need him anymore. He catches himself really quickly, because he realizes he's sounding just like his parents. Everything is spinning out of control so bad, Reo wants Nagi to end up in a vulnerable position so that he isn't the only one falling apart. As he catches himself thinking this, he's disgusted with himself. He calls himself 'utter trash', and as he watches Nagi score the winning goal, he falls to his knees, wishing he was dead.

As he sits there decomposing in emotional turmoil and suicidal ideation, Nagi's team chooses Chigiri to join them, and it's the nail in the coffin. This is probably Reo's lowest point in the entire story IMO. Nagi comes up to compliment him on his plays and Reo shows us another classic borderline move: he's anticipating how bad it's going to hurt to be abandoned by Nagi again, so he's trying to push him away before it can happen. We see the dichotomy of his spoken words and inner thoughts here, where he's talking big game to Nagi, saying things like 'you clearly don't care about me anymore, you're throwing me away, if you're going to abandon me just do it properly', while internally he's thinking 'I'm the worst, I wish I was dead, please take this bait and break my heart so that I can self destruct in peace'.

i LOVE the visuals during this moment. This is what Reo thinks is his last line of defense, the last thing he can do to preserve any part of his dignity is to make Nagi hate him so that he'll stop throwing these crumbs of affection at him. It's also really telling that despite his switch in behavior and the devaluing of Nagi, the root of all of that is STILL that he was so hurt by the abandonment.

I don't think I need to analyze the suicidal ideation because he just straight up says he wants to die like three times in this scene but, aside from that, the visual of his inner thoughts vs what he's actually saying is so powerful. Not to mention the chameleon imagery which i'll geek out about in a second, this is another example of his black and white thinking along with the reiteration that being abandoned was literally traumatic for Reo: he says they can never go back to what they were before. Speaking as a borderline, this is painfully true. When people break my trust even in a small way, I can never view them the same as I used to. I can forgive them and let it go, but I'll never be as open with them as I once was. In Reo's shoes, he had Nagi up on this pedestal that he was perfect and would never do anything to hurt him, but he did hurt him (in the worst way possible).

After Nagi tells him he's a pain in the ass and that he doesn't care anymore, Reo thanks him for 'finishing him off'. In his mind, they're done now and he can suffer in peace and quiet without dragging Nagi down anymore.

Bonus Point: The Chameleon Effect

I LOVE THE FACT THAT HIS THING IS CHAMELEONS AHHHH

The chameleon imagery with Reo makes me INSANE dude. As I mentioned towards the beginning of this post, a part of borderline that is seldom talked about is the tendency to take on 'the chameleon effect', or mirror the people around them. REO'S ENTIRE THING IS CHAMELEONS LIKE BFFR ?? That image where he was trying to get Nagi to hate him, was before he even started using his chameleon style, it was just something the authors thought was necessary to include during Reo's mental breakdown. Aside from the cool imagery, his chameleon style is a reflection of his relationship with Nagi. He gets called a jack of all trades and a master of none early on in reference to how when he’s without Nagi, hes not really exceptional at anything. He never really took the time to master one specific thing because he was always so concerned with helping Nagi. This rings my BPD bell for a couple reasons: first of all, when you have no sense of identity and you’re worried it means you have no real personality ?? Steal one!! Take the closest person to you and copy that one. That’s something us baddies know VERY well. Also, think there’s something about you that your fp doesn’t like? Change it! You can morph into anything they want as long as it means they won’t leave you !! :*) Before he makes up with Nagi, he copies moves in hopes that it'll make him stronger and appear more desirable to Nagi. After they make up, he copies whoever he has to so that he can get Nagi to that goal and make himself useful, make himself somebody that Nagi wants to have around. It is a literal direct metaphor for him changing anything and everything about himself for Nagi and graaaahhhh it’s so cool

Reonagi ?? Some thoughts-

I want to close this yap session with my thoughts on Reonagi as a ship. I do think that they can work and I want to make that clear. I'm not on board with the 'borderlines arent capable of having loving and fulfilling relationships' crap. That being said, they both have to put in a bit of effort. Reo has already recognized a lot of his own issues. He admits that he was wrong for pushing his ideals onto Nagi, that he needs to let Nagi grow and be his own person, etc. Nagi really hasn't accepted any fault. I stand by the fact that Nagi needs to be more sensitive with Reo. Way too often when a relationship like this fails, all the blame is put on the one with borderline. I'm gonna be the outlier here and say that if Nagi cares about Reo, he needs to learn about Reo's triggers and be mindful of them. I'm not saying that since Reo is sensitive to abandonment that Nagi should just isolate himself from everybody else, but what I am saying is that when he's going to do something that doesn't involve Reo, he needs to learn how to communicate that he still loves and values Reo. "I'm gonna go play soccer with this person right now, but I haven't forgotten about our promise. When I come back, we can play together. I still love you and I'm not going to leave you for whoever tf I'm playing with rn." (sneaking that 'i love you' in bc like..they're literally canon at this point asdfghjkll) But, I do think that Nagi loves Reo and cares about him in his own way. The two of them just have to keep working on their communication skills. Nagi has the potential to have a hot rich husband who will literally bend over backward for him and buy him all the robux he could ever want, he's gotta put in a shred of effort!

I also like to think that Nagi didn’t totally get the fact that Reo doesn’t gaf about just playing soccer. Nagi thinks soccer is what they do together, it’s what makes reo happy, right? He’s always pushing him to train harder and take the game more seriously because he likes the sport, RIGHT? It would make perfect sense to go play with isagi so that he can get better at soccer and come back to reo a more improved player. Maybe that’s why he was surprised when Reo was so mad in the bathhouse, bc he wasn’t making the connection that Reo cares more about him than soccer. That Reo puts all that energy into him playing soccer because he thinks it’s something that they can have as their own, and once Nagi notices how good he is, he’ll start enjoying it and the two of them can hold hands and run around the soccer pitch!! I think Nagi missed that part tbh, and I don’t think he know that even now in the story. Maybe Reo doesn’t even notice it.

Anyway, a shameless plug to my reonagi playlist if that's your thing (i cooked with this one, i fear) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5CsvSqmuI4cxOl1nTaV4GJ?si=737a0f21e0bd482a

Closing Thoughts:

Reo is a bpd baddie and I love him very much. I think he's a sensitive guy with a lot of feelings who would benefit from taking time to work through his trauma and his emotions. I hope that he eventually is able to build an identity for himself that doesn't involve Nagi, but baby steps, I suppose. I think Reo is a great balance of positive and negative borderline traits and he reads as a really believable and sympathetic character. He is, however, definitely that friend that you have to slap to stop them from running back to their ex.

Jokes aside though, BPD can be extremely hard to live with, even more so when it's undiagnosed and untreated. If someone you love has BPD, take the time to read up on it and do your best to understand them. I promise you, it will mean the world to them.

If you managed to get this far, thank you for reading! This was a messy stream of consciousness and I appreciate your support by listening.

[kodzukens-streams]

i’m aware this was like 2 years ago, but i just got into the series (ep. 11 rn) and reading this has enlightened me on a lot. now, i have ADHD (and we’re currently suspecting some other stuff), and i adore looking into psychology, neurology, the works. honestly, i might start suspecting bpd for myself because i did suspect in the past but whenever i brought it up i got laughed at rather than supported, but that’s enough about me, here’s something on nagi and why i think he has horrible communication skills.

i’ve been thinking about it, nagi seems like he might have an ADHD-ASD mix.

now, i’m not diagnosed with ASD, but i’ve known people with mild ASD—many mistake severe ASD to be all kinds of ASD. i’ve had friends that are mild ASD, so I know better than to think they are all the same. i won’t go into as much of an analysis as the person above, but i will list some things.

AUTISM TRAITS:

hyperfixations

sensory avoidance

social disconnection / bluntness

interoception difficulty

ADHD TRAITS:

hyper focus / “flow” state

dopamine chasing

time blindness

executive dysfunction

and there’s so much more on that list that i could add but yk adhd js gotta flare up and i can’t think anymore so i’ll be struggling the rest of this post

nagi shows a lot of these, and his dysfunction is often misinterpreted as laziness. people think he is being “lazy,” but when he says “what a pain” it’s simply him trying to avoid sensory input and executive function (which he doesn’t have). he hyperfixates on his games before he meets reo, who introduces him to soccer / football, and now he hyperfixates on that, too. he’s extremely blunt with his words and isn’t great with communication, and many may blame him for not putting in as much effort with reo. nagi doesn’t understand why time must be wasted on all the talk, and he sees soccer as a source of dopamine. he plays for the rush of excitement when something good happens. the rest is just more stimulating work he doesn’t want, but because he needs the extra work to get the enjoyment he wants, he reluctantly follows. he doesn’t know reo needs reassurance unless reo states he needs it. nagi takes things extremely literally, meaning all the hints that reo tries to drop on him go unnoticed or misunderstood. he also doesn’t seem to know when his body tells him he needs basic necessities like food and water, which is another reason he relies on reo way too much. when he’s inspired, he’ll put in a lot of effort and focus, but if he’s not, he’ll be “lazy.” he’s constantly sleepy outside of matches, not really paying too much attention to his surroundings, and that’s time blindness. what people think makes him a genius is just his hyper focus.

okay despite me being an author that took way too much out of me to write, so i hope that helps you understand why nagi can’t communicate as much with reo (i’m ass at communicating too, if this doesn’t make sense please ask!)

[kodzukens-streams]

“so j, what’s something you wish to happen one day? it must be something really amazing like being successful and happy!!”

no. no it’s not. the ONLY thing that i’ve DREAMED of happening that isn’t marrying the love of my life is two specific people collaborating.

my favorite haikyuu!! artist @kkumri and my favorite haikyuu!! writer @tabsters.

and if pinging them wasn’t enough to get them to collaborate, allow me to go into depth.

ally (kkumri) has been drawing haikyuu!! fanart since 2015–over ten years. around two, to maybe three years ago, i came across their scrumptious art. ever since then, they have introduced me to a whole new side of the fandom that i adore—the art / comic side of our fandom. what a blast that has been <3 and ally’s STORIES. lord the plots are just so amazing i love them

and for tabsters? their goal is to write 1m words of haikyuu fanfics. lord, that’s a lot. during that time, i have been admiring their writing style and the depth of all that they write. they’ve only recently become a close friend of mine, and throughout all the time i’ve known them i idolized them (i still do).

why should they collaborate? well. tabsters is an author, and an amazing one at that. depth, characters, you name it. ally is an artist. anatomy, shading, graphics, more. putting them together would create an extremely amazing story that i’ve been wanting to see for years. please make this happen 🙏

haikyuu fandom unite… (if you haven’t seen either of these amazing people go check out their works!)

[kodzukens-streams]

“so j, what’s something you wish to happen one day? it must be something really amazing like being successful and happy!!”

no. no it’s not. the ONLY thing that i’ve DREAMED of happening that isn’t marrying the love of my life is two specific people collaborating.

my favorite haikyuu!! artist @kkumri and my favorite haikyuu!! writer @tabsters.

and if pinging them wasn’t enough to get them to collaborate, allow me to go into depth.

ally (kkumri) has been drawing haikyuu!! fanart since 2015–over ten years. around two, to maybe three years ago, i came across their scrumptious art. ever since then, they have introduced me to a whole new side of the fandom that i adore—the art / comic side of our fandom. what a blast that has been <3 and ally’s STORIES. lord the plots are just so amazing i love them

and for tabsters? their goal is to write 1m words of haikyuu fanfics. lord, that’s a lot. during that time, i have been admiring their writing style and the depth of all that they write. they’ve only recently become a close friend of mine, and throughout all the time i’ve known them i idolized them (i still do).

why should they collaborate? well. tabsters is an author, and an amazing one at that. depth, characters, you name it. ally is an artist. anatomy, shading, graphics, more. putting them together would create an extremely amazing story that i’ve been wanting to see for years. please make this happen 🙏

haikyuu fandom unite… (if you haven’t seen either of these amazing people go check out their works!)

[kztb]

WARNING — 12 users needed.

Hey everyone! We know it’s been a bit since we’ve posted; this is because we wanted to give the blog some time without rushing our progress. We have gained a few more people, but to get the server up and running we’ll need 12 more people to follow this blog! If not, we’ll have to try again later on. We want to post this in advance, to let those who have followed know that we may postpone this.

If you’d like to know more about what you’re following, look at our blog!

[asher-dearsobsessions]

Tabs’ stories are really good, you should give them a read and then consider joining this project!

[kodzukens-streams]

THATS SO REAL TABS IS AMAZING AT FICS <333

i’m not as popular considering i don’t post much but i do enjoy writing and currently i have two dozen fic ideas / fics in progress and 8 requests! :]

[kodzukens-streams]

bokuto and akaashi as ryusui and francois.

[kodzukens-streams]

hiii I'm the person who requested the fanfic with highschool kenma! I don't mind the length, I'm fine with drabble or minific, of course unless inspiration hits for you. Just was curious for your take on it. Appreciate it a lot!!

gotcha, thanks for the request!!

[kodzukens-streams]

Interest Check — 𝚕𝚘𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐… [ 𝙺𝚉𝙺 | 𝚃𝙱𝚂𝚃 ]!

Would y’all be interested in a Post-Timeskip Haikyu!! project series where we take fanfics made by the lovely Tabsters (their scrumptious writing oml you’re crazy to turn them down) and Kodzuken (…who is this Kenma wannabe bro) and turn them into media like videos, art, and comics?

We’ve started planning out the server already. If enough people are interested, we’ll hurry and send out staff applications! Our first project is going to be a video form of @tabsters’ “Blind, Deaf, Mute and Stuck in Brazil” called “Bokuto can Bake???” and the one after that is already being drafted by @kodzukens-streams. 

If you’re interested, even just to support, interact with this post and follow @kztb for any updates!

These are all non-profit projects that are for fun and enjoyment.

[bokutoes-koutarou]

BOKUTO-SAN I FOUND UR TWIN

"HUH?! MY TWIN?!"

leans really close to the screen

"WAIT– HEY, WHY DOES HE ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE ME?! THE HAIR!! THE EYES!! THE AWESOME VIBES!!"

dramatic gasp "DOES THIS MEAN IM SECRETLY A LANGUAGE OWL TOO?? DO I KNOW FRENCH??.."

"bonjour???"

"AKAASHI!! AKAASHI!!! if i download this app do i get stronger?? what if my twin is already better than me?!"

..

"NO WAY IF HE'S MY TWIN THAT JUST MEANS THERE'S TWO OF US BEING AWESOME!! LETS GO!!!!"

[kodzukens-streams]

oh lord, kou that’s uh… amazing.

[kuroo-tetsuro1]

OYA!!!!!!!!

[kodzukens-streams]

this was a while ago but uh oya

[kodzukens-streams]

wait you write fics? In my head u were the funny person roleplaying kenma, ahem, anyway, so i can make a request? Do you write xreaders? Cuz I wanted to request headcanons/minific for highschool kenma with fem nekoma-volleyball-team-manager reader who, even tho she doesn't have to, wakes up early before practice, drags kenma out of his house to go for a run, is always trying to get kenma to work harder during practice in the annoying personal gym trainer kinda way, thought it would be funny

yes i write fics!! (LOL I LOVE RPING KENNY KEN KEN BUT i write fics too!! :))

yes you can make a request, they are open!! please specify the length you want it, and know that i’m a slow writer so it likely won’t be out until like months or years and i’m not exaggerating that shit 😭

i kind of suck at xreaders (bc i’m taken) but i can try for ya!

i see i see, anything else?

[kings-highway]

WHAT A FUN TAG TO GET! :D (tagged from @/reviiely)

FAVOURITE CHARACTER POLL:

*Tag Game: make a poll with five of your all-time favourite characters and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favourite.*

Tagging (oh god Im so sorry hate to bother people im gonna be sick): @harumin24 @permanentlyobsessed312 @tabsters @the-oc-lass @seijohfourhshsaj SORRY Y'ALL!!!!

King's Favourite Characters...

Sawamura Daichi (Haikyuu)

Quentin Coldwater (The Magicians)

Rory Williams (Doctor Who)

Dana Scully (The X-Files)

Essek Theyless (Critical Role)

Voting ended onMay 5

OH GEEZ, I WONDER WHICH CHARACTER WILL WIN WHEN I POST THIS TO MY HAIKYUU FOCUSED ACCOUNT THAT PEOPLE FOLLOW SPECIFICALLY FOR HAIKYUU CONTENT.

This was incredibly hard to pick. Lots of characters had good reasons to make the cut.

Daichi and Dana make the list because they are just so character. And I want them to be spun at high velocity in a chamber. And see them bloodied and bruised.

Rory, Quentin and Essek make the list because they represent character archetypes and specifically storylines/writing that make me go absolutely feral and foaming at the mouth. We've got the Last Centurian (The Boy Who Waited), A man with clinic depression desperately trying to have faith that something in the world is good, and a redemption arc so powerful that they broke free from the meta narrative they were placed in.

[tabsters]

king i just want you to know that when i got this notification i stared at it for a couple of seconds in amazement and awe because my brain was going, "PERSON I FOLLOW??? TAGGING ME?????" anyway:

tabs' favorite characters

Ushijima Wakatoshi (Haikyuu)

Chigiri Hyouma (Blue Lock)

Zanka Nijuku (Gachiakuta)

Kurapika (Hunter X Hunter)

Mizi (Alien Stage)

Voting ended onMay 5

i need an actual running list of my top favorite characters because whenever i do polls like these i just choose the first five that immediately come to mine.

@illumiiiz @possibly-a-jellyfish @asher-dear @idonsson @kodzukens-streams

[kodzukens-streams]

oh hi tabby tab tabs :)

kodz’s fav chars…

kenma (haikyuu)

aiden (school bus graveyard)

atsumu (haikyuu)

ivan (alien stage)

gen (dr. stone)

Voting ended onApr 30

kenma is my main kin, if you couldn’t tell. aiden is my *other* kin, if you also couldn’t tell. atsumu is my fav character to roleplay. my face could lwk be a face claim for ivan like i love him okay my baby, my child. gen is mentalist and we love mentalist because mentalist is psychology and we love psychology

don’t mind the half assed explanations

[tabsters]

all my bottoms are miserable little fuckers and all my tops are even more miserable little fuckers. this is how life should be.

[kodzukens-streams]

LOL TABS WHAT

[cheesevelyn]

“ten people you’d like to know better” - tagged by @finalfrontierpsychiatrist

many thanks for this tag :)

1. last song: the ten hour version of ‘they’re taking the hobbits to isengard’, its unironically the best background music for fanfic reading

2. favourite colours: brown, a nice light brown. and a sage green. actually any colour really, they’re all pretty neat

3. currently watching: not really watching anything specific, its like a new thing every day. my main tv show obsessions are doctor who & red dwarf, and probably always will be <3

4. currently reading: a ton of rimster & tenrose fics, but the last physical book i read was infinity welcomes careful drivers by grant naylor :)))

5. current obsession: rimster & tenrose :D, and very soon tomodachi life living the dream, LITERALLY TODAY AHHHHHH

6. currently working on: actually nothing right now, except tryna boost my fanfic count (i cannot be the only one who records what fanfics they read by month and categorise them by fandom, and also record the word count, and then work out percentages as well for everything. god i am going insane)

7. last google search: literally just ‘doctor who’ :D

8. current desktop picture: i’m just gonna leave this here…

you're supposed to tag 10 people but i don't even know 10 people so lets see: @ro-fromthestars @a-literal-toaster-wtf @thatdoodlebug @jinglyjangly-theclowm @paperprinc3 @finnamin

[ro-fromthestars]

Thanks for the tags @finalfrontierpsychiatrist and @cheesevelyn

1. Last song: The Logical Song - Supertramp

2. Favourite colours: Green, dark red, most shades of blue

3. Currently watching: Just finished my Ghosts UK rewatch and I'm about to start watching the Malcolm in the Middle reboot episodes. I'm always rewatching red dwarf episodes too

4. Currently reading: Red Dwarf - Better than Life and tons of ghosts uk fanfics

5. Current obsession: Probably still Red Dwarf and Rik & Ade shows

6. Currently working on: A red dwarf fanfic and a ghosts one. Also learning another ragtime piece on the piano

7. Last google search: Where to watch Guest House Paradiso the movie (spoilers, it's very hard to find. I still haven't.)

8. Current desktop picture: the same picture that's on my blog banner, a red dwarf art thing from the dvd covers

Tagging: @maryshelleysgrave @motherblackcap @vampiric-decay @pantyhoseandroses @arnoldlister @by-gray @sigurism @kurtisrichardprattbstard @ashewcashewnut

[pantyhoseandroses]

1. last song: morning glory - oasis (fun fact ny friend gave mean oasis cd today🤤)

2. favourite colour: literally any shade of red. i also quite like grey!!

3. currently watching: tiny pretty things on netflix (its so ass but i cant stop watching it) i also need to finish bbc bottom

4. currently reading: nothing atm except for family poetry🫩 i also need to reread an inspector calls cuz mocks r like in two days and english is my first one💔 thankfully its language and not literature

5. current obsession: haikyu!! soso peak i fee like in 10 years old again omg this was my JAM

6. currently working on: revision. just an arse load of revision sigh. i havent even stated properly yet actually, ive only done maths and a bit of film studies and history lmao ive got loads still😭 especially science sighhhhh

7. last google search: my last search was sparx maths🤓

8. current desktop picture: im poor so i dont have a computer - heres my phone lock/homescreen instead !!

10 tags: @inalvlyxz @wats-am @britpop-official @bassic-ally @eighty-ninth-piano-key @hamsarebalony @karaxoxx @olivesarenicetoeat17 @reikodashi @p1mmy

no pressure

[reikodashi]

thaank you for tag!!! goodluck with your revision😓😿

last song - i'm yours by jason mraz cause mr and my friend were jamming😋

favorite colour - i too like gray!! i also like light shades of blue and pink (especially in the sky and during sunset it's beautiful)

currently watching - i'm MEANT to be watching ylia cause it's april but... not there yet..... (sorry maggie😓)

currently reading - this time it's real by ann liang!!! which i've been very excited to read it's been recommended to me for so long i'm finally reading it🥹🥹

current obession - guess🧐 (it's kagehina what a wonder)

currently working on - STOPPING MY PROCRASTINATION!!! so i've been out and about and living. which sacrifices my time here unfortunately😿 (buuut also maybe brainstorming a kagehina fic idea..?😶 but shh in case i don't follow through HAHAH)

last google search - molten volleyball (my favorite volleyball is makasa 300W though)

current desktop picture - kind of boring but it's just the default background.. i wasn't bothered to change it lol

(don't have 10 but!) 🏷️ : @whenandfromanotherworld @ackermanandsukuna @akaashiit @florecielo @cornfielding @blackwhiteandbold @n-o-b-o-d-y123 @kagstobioisthelightofmylife @kired1467

(no pressure!!)

[kagstobioisthelightofmylife]

so it's been a while since my last tag game but im glad to be back 😋 thanks for the tag @reikodashi!!

1. last song - aizo by king gnu, i've been on quite the JJK kick as of late and the song is just SUCH a banger

2. favorite colour - should be kinda obvious from my page already but sage green! specific hex code is #A0C293 (yes i have a favorite hex code and it's important to me)

3. currently watching: yuri on ice, about my third rewatch already? I SO BADLY YEARN FOR THE MOVIE WE PROBABLY WONT GET 💔

4. currently reading: well if we're talking physical literature i've been reading the other side of perfect by mariko turk, one of my current favorites because it deals with a loss of dreams SO well and i recommend it to literally everyone who sees this!!! on the other hand i did reread in another life earlier so...

5. current obsession: kageyama tobio fushiguro megumi itoshi rin in that order. i love them all ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

6. currently working on: finishing my watchlist over my break before i have to go back to academia again 💔💔 oh and iwaoi fanfiction 😋

7. last Google search: the chords to take a chance with me by NIKI! love her discography and was practicing her songs on the ukulele ^^

8. Current desktop picture: a frame of Yuta Okkotsu from the season 3 finale because it was just SUCH a perfect frame 🥹 sdkskejsj

im not sure i have 10 people either so:

@ackermanandsukuna @tabsters @qngelicchoso @n-o-b-o-d-y123 @oikawasbiassandfan

(no pressure of course!! ^^)

[ackermanandsukuna]

since I’ve been tagged twice, I may as well do it hahaha

1. last song - man eater by Nelly furtado (the best getting ready hype song around)

2. favourite colour - baby pink (I’m not cool enough to have a hex code like @kagstobioisthelightofmylife but I love baby pink so much that it is in every inch of my apartment)

3. currently watching - buddy daddies and mha (I watched a kagehina au based on buddy daddies and I am now stuck on it)

4. currently reading - all my uni readings and run away with me by brain Selznick (the artwork is BEAUTIFUL)

5. current obsession: kagehina as always

6. currently working on - side stories for my fanfiction, passing my uni degree (please let it happen), maintaining a social life and being published in a magazine (👀👀)

7. last google search - omg you can tell I don’t know volleyball but I was searching up the dates for the superlega for my fic

8. current desktop picture - everyone I love (literally - it’s a collage)

let me try to find 10 omg 😂😂

@k0zum3s-b310v3d @h0rny-chick @cornfielding @tobioyaps @sxnovaa @tabsters @thelibrarydemon @valeriee-07 @boggielol omg that is only 9 but ok hahah

No pressure my loves xx

[tabsters]

hiya!!!

1. last song - bad apple multilanguage cover. the guy that made this is insane go listen to him.

2. favorite colour - purple, black, green, pink, blue, in that order

3. currently watching: witch hat atelier and re: zero

4. currently reading: the waste land by TS eliot for literature

5. current obsession: haikyuu!!!

6. currently working on: haikyuu yakuza fanfiction. also preparing for the SIX final exams i have in two weeks.

7. last Google search: hinata shouyou kanji

8. Current desktop picture: a piece of frieren fanart!

@possibly-a-jellyfish @illumiiiz @idonsson @kodzukens-streams @one-selective-bitch @filijester

[kodzukens-streams]

hi tabby tabs :D

last song - ivantill version of my clematis. they're so silly i love them

favorite color - sage green, and the lom loves any shade of blue therefore so do i

currently watching: haikyuu (again), given (again, but this time with the ovas and movies), dr. stone (again as we're waiting for s4)

currently reading: the hunger games, against my will be of school sigh.

current obsession: HAIKYUU!! (it's been like that 4 years, almost 5)

currently working on: a sengen fic, a sakuatsu angst fic, and a given x nekoma fic

last google search: cure lyrics alnst

current desktop pic: i'm boring i don't have one bc i'm on mobile and lazy to change it

i'm very sleepy today so open tags loves <3 thanks tabby for tagging me!! <3

[kuroo-tetsuro1]

I just saw Tsukishima Kei and Rintaro Suna talking together.

RUN. I REPEAT, FROM FOR YOUR LIVES. THOSE MANIACS COULD RUIN YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!

[akaashi-keiji05]

They were just talking, don't you think you might be exaggerating a bit?

[kodzukens-streams]

LOL keiji they’re both menaces, you haven’t seen them in action.

@kuroo-tetsuro1

should i join them?

[kuroo-tetsuro1]

NO!

[kodzukens-streams]

why not, hm?

[kuroo-tetsuro1]

I'm doomed....

[kodzukens-streams]

why ;-;

[tsuki-kei-11]

Because, the two of us combined plus Rintaro, we have at lest ten pieces of blackmail per person.

[kodzukens-streams]

pfft good