☠️Tempus Fugit☠️

[XE8)] O^* "The journal of a madman” (NSFW) + Copeing mechanism

[kohvu-xtaa]

6/29/26 12:54pm Welcome!!!

welp this is my digital journal just got a bunch of random logged stuff just used to brain dump and clear my headspace

all of my previous usersnames that were apart of different chapters in my life

KohVu’Xtaa - If I was remade as a darkin… the word play

Kovu = in swahilli means scar

XTA = Xerox the Apex

(a) = if you know league lore then you understand the joke Aatrox makes to Varus

in combination it is to nean the scar of Xerox the Apex…

Jrawsome1 (as a kid when I first atarted making money playing videogames and making bets)

Dr.koh (rascist ass asian friends told me to be a doctor for them as they all rebelled against their family and went to the military honestly working on the route to get my doctorate I most likely will go through getting my bachelor’s physical therapy after message therapy school building clientel now and capitalizing on the whole “self improvement” industry and then finish up on my doctorate in chiropractic service and orriental medicine and acupuncture)

(fire lord) amokthebzrkr - when I hit the gym listening to death metal or some heavy hard russian texhno

xeroxtheapex - my old prison mindset got apex tatted on the side of my ribs as to express my unrelenting hunger and predatory like mindset in prison… (hard letting it go when you see through people) its when i realized to start off nice and mirror people afterwards based off their actions (people really don’t understand how mean and vicious I can be… but still I try to choose kindness until they no longer deserve it)

Darth Perdis ( What if black spiderman was an actual stereotype with a fuxked up past and was a super villian and learned alchemy, swat commander based off the 2099 Brooklyn spiderman look with Carnage as his symbiote fighting off the urge but sometimes let it go if valid being trained in the ways of the 8 trigrams, bare knucke boxing, and ninjitsu practicing juquando and chi sao along with pheonix fist and understands the esscence of the Tai chi ch’uan and peak performance

Vudon the Incubus-

Vudon = and entity of power that guides you through music and controls your body from music

Incubus - Male sex demon/ the heavy dread that weighs over ones head

(in combination has dual meanings that music helps me with the dread that weighs over my head)

-Sin city companion for those lonely nights or just looking for fun and deep conversations that lie outside the realm of our mortality and to enter my space

$200 for an hour of my services

$2000 for VIP treatment

but honestly going to unplug from society again and tech n be out in nature for a bit… and be mixed with the feral beasts that roam around in the great divine…

what Joe did to my life typa shit… way back in 2013… honestly… if it wasn’t for that fucker… I’d be so much worse… if it wasn’t for him and Tati… I’d be really fucking mean still… He saw me in every chapter of my life... and stayed with me in every chapter... and Jade too

[sandmandaddy69]

[kosmogrl]

[lehermit]

Joke.

One day, I saw a bird learning to fly. I was a child. I thought flapping your wings was like learning to ride a bike, that maybe someone could give you a push or hold on to you so you wouldn't fall riding down the hill.

It's funny.

What is?

Remembering.

Remembering is funny. It's like telling yourself an old joke.

When I was young, I thought it was the coolest thing to see older people smoking long cigarettes. Now I'm trying to quit. After a few days without nicotine, the headaches begin.

No one can teach you.

It's funny.

What is?

Human beings. We always think we can save someone or something. We think we can interfere with the nature of things.

Isn't that funny?

Trying to save someone from drowning while each of us is already living through a different shipwreck.

I think it is.

What is?

Funny.

Le Hermit

[fuckabilitypolitics]

tbh it's cruel to tell young girls on here that lesbians and bisexual women don't care about body hair and weight and skin and so on and so forth because they're going to find out it's a lie one way or another. women who are attracted to women are not magically exempt from having patriarchal beauty standards engrained in them and from punishing other women/girls for it and it isn't helping anyone to pretend we are.

[kohvu-xtaa]

honestly its a conditioned product... beauty... a huge propaganda scoundle to tell specifically women are just not enough (even though they are and just have to accept their natural beauty but hey what can I say I'm just a scarred up piece of shit that's just tired of people pretending as though they are not enough... and in reality they are... sure we can put our masks on put our best foot forward but there is real beauty in seeing the cracks... the imperfections and likeing them anyway...)

beauty is honestly just getting a foot through the door the real attraction is peering behind that mask and seeing what is the underlineing of the soul... what makes of their esscence... what drives them?

Sure there are also the times for just a fun thing and not a love thing as well

but hey just random thoughts without a filter because... why not?

"Tempus Fugit Memento Mori Vivere"

[kohvu-xtaa]

7/2/26 1:00pm no more than 5

no more than 5 things of focus

instead of abusing time... (when I lived off a fcuking 10min timer like a god dam pshcyo like my boss did but made me first place and the most efficent)

but this time i will just leverage key times instead and change to a more minimilast strategy I guess... I'm tryna copy off of what I seen Nikoz do... holy fuck the dudes a fucking legend... like dear god...

It's funny how there was a party / meetup that turned into another party meet up on valantiens day.. I fogot the chick that invited me that gave me the balloon... but hey... I probably wouln't have gotten in if Alexa came through to the gym and was with me that chick probably woulda been like oh he's taken... (mature women are so fucking bold and know exactly how to be direct and its just really fucking nice and helps my Audhd alot when they are just more direct... sure I can read explicit body language too but like to hear the verbal commands of them is just mmffphhhh like its different from just looking at them slipping my cock in and hitting in the back vs "I need you to put your big fat cock in my pussy right now" and have them beg for it as they just rub against it LIKE HUGE TURN ON DIFFF

the first one feels npc like where they're just like going in with the flow of things but the second is so intentional and the desire is just maybe another factor... and the energy behind it to vs like you know just slipping it in and there's no energy in it... like nothing to go off of like its just casual casual to them and that kinda gives me the red flag to just say "nahhhhhh fuck this I'ma just dip" unless they're like a really cute dorky pervy chick with glasses then I will go and help guide them and teach them some things about themselves and what they like... and give them an actual experience and have them look at it go in and out holding them by their hair and see like when their glasses are like just slightly offset is just UGHHHGFF UCKKKKKKJ

...

yeahhh... of course no girl wants to be just a friend with me sheeeetttttt... but unfortanately I'm not boyfriend material either... just thee "side nigga" that we're "Just friends" she'll tell to her friends XD but not me... directly just calls me a side nigga the first time is always a shock when they say it because they normally don't talk like that and I like to grab their fucking face right when they do some of my Brooklyn accent slips out and I loose a little of myself... but heyl... what can I fuckin say...

[kohvu-xtaa]

7/2/26 12:27pm The worst day of my life...

Sure I just finished beating Joe opening a can of whup ass on him (my combos are a liil rusty and with the updates I didn't realize there are now new loop combos and which I figured 2 out pretty quickly while fighting which was funny as shit talking shit and wooping on him)

but if I want to get tournament ready again I do have to microspace better, I have the conditioning, I have the neutral... cross ups ect. but the last part is really refining those other things but honestly I don't feel like putting any time in for it expecially if I'm in a time crunch right now atm... and I honestly need to keep doing my long walks or else I may rip somones fucking spine out of their ass hole...

20 days before moving out and setting off on my own... It's exciting and honestly I just want to make it into a labroom and black out the walls with uv lighing and make the walls coated with a clear glass like thing so I can use the uv dry erase markers because these blank fucking white walls drive me fucking nutsss.... like holy fucking helll add some fucking flavor on these walls (its hard resisiting the urge to garffiti inside until I get a better kit and I need like an official thing to just go out with... and expand my greyhounds... one step at a fucking time...

but honestly should just take it a lil easy before going back to school and break ends..

now, there was something someone asked me what was the worst thing that ever happened to me .... sure there was alot of shit... harassment from officers, getting my head split opened 3 times, sexually tortured and my babysitter burning the underside of my dick with her lighter as she pinned me down leaving a scar underneath the shaft that lines up (at least its underneath it right? but it was pretty hawt how Taylor licked up my shaft slower on there following the scar... I don't know why I like it when they lick at my old wounds... its... idk just nice I guess...)

but the worst day wasn't them sentencing me for 22 years and two lifetime sentences... no...

the worst day was hearing my lil sis over the phone sobbing... choking on words that she can't explain... and unable to comfort her... and so wetness left my eyes... like streaks that stained my eyes down to my face... but yet I wasn't crying... it was as though my face was leaking wetness from my eyes...

and yet...

after the "You're time has run out... thank you for calling Gloabal Tailink"

cutting me off from saying "I love you" back to her...

I felt it just consume me the rage... my breathing growing deeper trying to keep calm and keep a cool head... then the guy had the audacity to point at me and say "oh loooky he just got off the phone with his mommmmy annnd he's crying" making the motion to mock me putting his hands over his face and making the crying gesture... "BOOOO HOOOOOO"

I became quiet and cold... my hands lost the heat out of them and so did my feet... my face stone cold... and as I tried to move past him he put his hand on my shoulder "Hey mama's boy cryb-"

I cut him off with my elbow to his mouth... and then proceeded to keep striking him... at first he was dazed confused at what was happening... and then the pain started hitting him...

I put my thumb over his esophagous to stop his air supply while still striking him and panic took over him as I got on top of him and he started leaking over the floor... the blood coming out of his mouth... his right temple split open from my elbow strike...

and I felt it... the smile creep along my face... but not like a happy smile... the smile that is just there out of habit...

to smile when everything is fine... lying not to others and more importantly... trying to lie to myself to get rid of the pain... the feeling I don't understand so it just turns to anger... and then when people I don't like put their hands on me it just turns into violence but with people I do like... giving them a bear hug just makes all the anger go away... like it was never there.. as though it never existed...

but that man... that poor unfortanate soul... I heard the other guys starting to yell for the CO's saying "MAN DOWN!!!" "MAN DOWNNN!!"

but I wasn't done with this lil shit yet... I needed to make it be clear to everyone there I just wasn't the fucking guy...

and now...

its so hard... to not fall back into what worked for 5 years... so fucking hard... to grit my teeth and just not...

but it worked so well... and I was treated with respect imediately after...

sure there was fear mixed in it as well but I didn't give a fuck about anyone there... besides you can't trust anyone while you're down... and so even before prison I had trust issues... but prison just reinforced it...

and thanks to Mitzi, Alexa, and Joey... I helped open up more... I do feel kinda bad tho that I didn't open up in the same way... but they wouldn't want to hear my horror stories... and besides I gotta try and make it into a joke somehow so they don't pity me...

I fucking hate being pittied... like I'm not a fucking charity case....

but my body is getting better now that I am learning how to relax again... I look back at my old routines and refine it by doing less to increase more leasure time...

also gotta add more micro meditations to increase relaxation and focus and trying to stay in that state of mushin (the state of no mind)

fortunately music is a really big help but I have to keep it around instramentals and maybe symphonic metals but also great pieces like this:

yeah this shit on loop is where its hitting that and the final destiny dancing mad UGHHH FUCKK YEAHHHHHHHH

[oversorted]

[kohvu-xtaa]

People don't do this anymore and thus mental illness develops and stems from unable to clear the mind with one's self...

they develop all these things of anxiety, despair, discomfort from the lack of being able to be with one self...

to be present within one's own skin

[kohvu-xtaa]

7/2/26 8:09am I found a hidden gem!!!

There is this gym that gives me complete Brooklyn vibes I came in and the smell of old stomping grounds liftied my spirits up again re igningint my essence of tokon (the fighters spirit)

The flags of all the countries lined up on the wall personalized vibrant garfitti work on some of the brick walls on the background being black.

A fucking smoothie shack right inside just like the old ones but this one is quite modern and contains powerlifting events (deffinatly gotta join n compete now)

Then there is the secret fucking cold plunges with sona and red light thereapy (what else could I have asked for ) and they actually have bag work so I don't have to fuucking go over to Abdullah's crib to hit some fucking bag work like god dam I hate that all the public gyms got rid of it

AND THE BITCH IS OPEN 24/7 SO IMA BE THERE AT 3AM LIKE I USED TO

GAWD FUCKING DAM THIS IS GONNA BE FUN AGAIN!!!!!!! FUCKING HYPED AGAIN

I can continue with my previous experiments in maximizing my nuclei cell count with nuclei overload training to max out hypertrophy

(although I will get my gains back faster becuase of muscle memmory)

sets till failure

A) Primary compound

B) Agnostic muscle group

C) Complimentary muscle group

D) Active rest (too keep blood pumping and keep going)

goal is to keep bpm from 114 - 130 so that in a state of rest it stays at 60bpm

plus I can binge eat again at the local buffets again UCCGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHh I missed being a big ole scary black dude eveybody treated me differently and hesitated to say fucking stupid ass shit

and I don't know how women could like me in this weaker form... I hated it... but you know what it's just going to makke them wetter when they see me at my old weight again...

I need to start off steady again and lighted up as to not further damage my already torn rotatator cuffs...

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*breathe*

I can get it all out of my fucking system where fucking just isn't enough...

BUt I do love picking them up and pressing them against that fucking wall and getting out some of my fustrations resting my forehead on theirs and looking into her fucking eyes is just ughhhhhhhhhh gGOADDD FUCKINGD DAMMMMI TTTTT

feeling her just cum over my cock again and again until she can't hold her breath anymore (she tries to not moan and shit but it makes me want to fucking break her and cream all over my fucking cock its so fucking disqusting but so satisfying to hear her loose her shit and squirm and hold back her screams seeing the veins pop out her neck and seeing her face turn all fucking red UGHHH I FUCKING LOVE IT!!!!!!)

I also noticed I've become even more horny and trying to like wear briefs more so it doesn't poke out as much and just slap against my fucking leg... hopefully my thighs don't chaif again I gotta prob wear permanate thremals again or get more baby lotion for that spot just so It doesnt fucking rub raw again... when jogging n shit...

ughhh I wanna feel her cum on my cock again and bite on her ear she smelled so fucking good like licorishe and shit like gawd fucking damm that shit was just MFHGHHGHLASDFFKAJLF

I forgot what that stupid ass ski mask thing was with the holes in it she wants me to fuck the shit out of her without my shirt and just that so she can see all my tats I told her if Ima do that she's gonna need a cop outfit and Ima put the cuffs on her...

XD I'm so mean leaving her a mess like that I shoulda helped her clean up a bit... but she likes it when I'm mean...

(Wtf is up with women why do they like it when a nigga gets mean and calls them bitch I don't get it but hey I got my own shit too like when I get white women to tell me "Claim me as you're reperations with your big black cock you nigg*r" but that's like idk getting over trama with sex I guess...

meh... fuck it we all got our own shit...

I wonder if Alexa's going to act like an NPC again when I see her again XD shit's too funny and I didn't know she had such bratty behavior that genuinely fustrated me like the bitch is in my childhood areas where I grew up at and she acted all fucking stupid almost wanted to givver her the front hand and back hand ...

Its so stupid how people listen faster and get out of their delusions when you slap the fucking taste out their mouth...

worked before prison

worked in prison (some lead to fights but they couldnt' win XD)

and still works now... ( solid monthyl perscription)

Charles was right... I would turn into a pimp named slickback ... fuck that nigga for calling it way back after graduation...

I kept getting aclaled a fucking pimp when I was working the strip and then finidng the chick out of the group that just wants to make stupid decicions that night was jsut too fucking easy... but I mean... what's the result of it now... I could have been trainning instead of wasting my time entertaining those women... sure I got free drinks and fucked n shit but like honestly it's not worth as much as just making a fuck buddy at least its more consistent and besides I no girl just wants to be my "friend" XD why would they if they see me as their first "baddie"

weelpppp gotta keep prepping n grinding again... I do find it better and more convinent to find things on here than in my memos... its actually wild how easy it was to transfer this habbit

but the next part is creating a bigger following on substax to increase my passive income like Josh did (really cool linking up with him and giving me tips and tricks and tools of the trade)

"If life's a bitch so be its Pimp and fuck the dawg shit out of her and fuck karma too she's also a bitch and God too ( I honestly think God's a woman due to the base nature of women as creators and men as destroyers... but it might be more of the essence like in yin and yang and until you balance those elements of both the masculine energy and feminne energy then you can't become a co-creator of this universe and understaning in its principles, elements, physics, bio-chemistry, and primal instincts) and I rely a little bit more on the primal side but it is just in my conditioning and maybe in my nature as well...

[yeesiine]

Sorry for texting back instantly, my phone is in my hand, I'm mature and I like u

[kohvu-xtaa]

7/1/26 9:22am

Meanwhile me: If the phone is in my hand and you text me consider yourself lucky you caught me at the most fucking divine time as I am either about to turn my phone off and you will not hear from me again until I text you that my phone number changed ... again...

shit happens... and most times... I will just tell you to fuck off so if I text back quick... consider yoursefl in the grace of divine timing...

I start off mature but I will let you know.. I am unfilitered and don't like to waste my time...

If I send you a bunch of memes just know... I'm taking the fatest shit of my life and cracking jokes over the phone while sending a fuck ton of memes (literally takes me no effort)

its the only way it feels to stay in contact with a packed schedule and if you're in the roster perpare youreself to get blown tf up and I don't expect you to watch all of them but the squad know I thought of them when I seen it and its crazy becuase that habbit started from Jade (now that I think about it its how she kept keeping tabs on me when I was just booked fucking working god damy 96 hr work weeks... (I noted how annoying I find it when people especially Brandon says "he's busy" such a fucking skill diff... fucker just doesn't want to train at the gym with me no more... *sighs*

What happened to his WITNER ARCCC MANNNN THIS SHIT AIN'T SUPPOSED TO END IN JANURARY !!!!!!!! (he had a good 3 months I guess... *sigh*

and had the audacity to call himself like Deku... and me Bakugo...

and yet off I go again...

(gotta follow up with Gem Jaxx on grant $$$ for Art District honestly I could just wait on it until term 5 when I have more free time and doing my clinical trials...)

[russianblush]

no ai usage over here. you’re gonna get my shitty authentic writing whether you like it or not

[kohvu-xtaa]

XD hell yeah

[old-school-romantics]

[kohvu-xtaa]

7/1/26 8:53am Why do people underestimate me?

It's quite strange... when you used to be big ole scary black guy that would just fight without saying words... no hype... no build up...

Just cold quiet anger calculated right in the momment...

I find it as a show of display of mens egos... the false display of what they think they could do to me... It was quite funny... reflecting back on it... for when I see the fear in another mans eyes its is... addictive?

The difference in speed, strength, power, intelect (like I find it really annoying when people don't use words correctly and stubornly belive they are correct even when shown otherwise becuase stupid people don't think... they know... so fucking infuriating) ... idk maybe I just like diffing them so much the fact that my old manager Dave kept saying his little puppy piss routine like it was doing something... I was cracking up when he was so proud of doing one mile a day.... JUST ONE FUCKING MILE... AND HE'S GLOATING ABOUT IT TO THE GUY THAT DID A MARATHON A DAY!!! LIKE HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!! SO FUCKING GOAWDF DFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

... I don't know what grinded my gears more... the lack of leadership skills that he possessed or his false ego... (the difference that dressing can do for a males ego... it does make sense though unfortunately for people I label as NPC's apperance is everything to them... they just run off a fucking script... hey the black guy that looks proper like Obama and smells good yeah we will buy from him instead of the other guy... the other guy consists of wrinkled clothes, smells of nothing (dragon's blood has always been my signature scent w/ lavander... gotta refill them maybe by next month when I run out and add egyptian musk to my combination to create a blend that is to give the vibe of controled power and dream like pressence might call the combo "The essence of Vu" has a nice little ring to it.... maybe a hint of pepper mint... everyone knows I always keep my altoids and mints on me gotta keep a fresh breath... like salesman gold standard... but even before I went into sales... I loved both the mix of peppermint and the red cinimin.. !!!

nahhhh fuck the mint Ima do a dash of red cinimin on it!!!!!!!!

*Insert Planton meme here*

YESSSS YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hmmmmm maybe add mint? keep it related with the 5 elements?

sooooo that would meann

void - egyptian musk

earth - pepermint

water- dragons blood

fire - red cinimin

air - lavander

Hmmmm gotta test out how much of each deffinately know that gyptian musk is going to be the most and since both pepermint and red cinimin are quite strong I can prob keep them at a lower ratio and definitaley want the lavander to be as strong as the dragons blood so that both are blended nicely into the aroma... yeeeeeeesss hmmmmm lets see for ratios??? maybe a 40/10/20/10/20 split?

fuckk it I'll test it out next month...

[kohvu-xtaa]

7/1/26 1:09am Gaming...

Its not the same ... just gaming a casual lil fucking 30min... bro like... I didnt even finish getting warmed up in the zone fucking mess with mshit a little... GAWD FUCKING DAM I CAN'T JUST DO LIL BITCH SESSIONS LIKE THIS I NEED TO FUCKING LIKE IMERSE MYSELF IN THAT SHIT (unless its smash bros.. thats like the only game... maybe fighterz as well... but honestly I'd rather play chess on my phone if don't have enough fucking time... llike 30min is one FUCKING HALF OF A RAID LIKE GAWD DSAMMMMMM IITTTTTTTTTT...

*breathe* but it is only a temporary delay...

gawd dam my peak setup on helldivers tho was quite... discusting...

sickle w/ jetpack for blitz (laser drone if I'm on vanguard and hold the ground for the team to max dps it adds more heat with my sickle and burns the enemies quicker so i can wave clear faster than anyone , gatling turrent, quasar cannon (sometimes heavy on the laser it depends on the enemy) and of course... my fav the 500kg bomba

FOR DEMOCRACY!!!

Full title Death Captin: Commander of the exicutioner's destroyer Darth Perdis...

(hmmm to write about us would be intresting)

meh don't really feel like it... besides I'm fucking beat...

I probably shouldnt have pushed myself as hard at the gymm... I noticed I may have worsen the damages already done to my right shoulder cuff... I gotta deload again... ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK@@@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*BREATHE*]\

The waay that my bones constantly click... it disturbes some people... and honestly if its based off on all my trama.. then maybe iit should distirb them... like... what else are they really going to do? besides say something fucking stupid...

To have the greatest library at the palm of your hands... with access to alll others... and yet... I realized

memories are given and then...they are taken...**

[kohvu-xtaa]

6/18/26 6:38am Working on preparing for the presentation before exam

[kohvu-xtaa]

6/4/26 7:55am I forgot

She placed her hand softly on me as I was taking a quick power nap..

the gentle touch came as a shock to my system and I jumped up..

[kohvu-xtaa]

4/5/26 Hoping... I am wrong

I hope I am wrong... but hey what's another 4 years of giving myself to the government if I am right... just going to the military... because what else is there for me to do... sure I might be a little older than normal... sure I will have a prison background that will have others be biased towards me... but what's new?

I will have my safe place... my personal safe place with music blasting or during the deafening silence and the ringing of my ears... I appreciate that some co-workers turned into friends as I struggled to re-enter society... it was so hard...

so very hard... with moments of ptsd that I couldn't say that made me make mistakes... when I was alone I feel like I'm in that fucking box again... that box of no simulation... no heat... just stripped naked... cold... alone... hearing distant screams... screams of primal rage... over and over... until I realized it was me screaming in the box... hate...

so much hate... the feeling of being trapped and humiliated... being stared down from the other side while stripped naked... and cold... but I was always cold... even during the summer time... where I always wore a jacket and had someone on in my arms to keep me warm...

Now their touch feels like phantom hands...

How could others be so devoid of such life? I understand I cope in a different way...

The music still blares in my eardrums... the energy I had

ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

(think I fell asleep on this one ^_^ best fucking sleep is the one when you don't remember falling asleep and just wake up at someone else's crib XD)

but even the military didn't want my ass something about being "Too violent" at the time but hey... readjustments were made and I can just pay for my own college soon enough (prob still take advantage of the grants they have because why the fuck not?)