Korey Troll: American Stereotype

I'm a lonely punk and I literally do nothing. I'm from Adrian MI. I post mostly never. A lot of nerdy stuff, but also a lot of music related stuff.

[koreytroll]

In that moment, we were all Hitchcock.

[koreytroll]

In that moment, we were all Hitchcock.

[concerningegg]

If he/she cheated, he/she ain’t shit.

the way I see it. (honestly, I know letting someone you genuinely loved hurts for a long time, but, please know you deserve someone so much more than a fucking dirty cheater who can’t fully appreciate, love nor dedicate themselves to someone as amazing as you are. Happiness comes within so much more than just a love companion. Love comes within things so much more than others. Love yourself enough to be strong to let that undeserved love go a little more every day because you deserve happiness. real love… self-love and respect.)

[spartanmark-blog-deactivated202]

You’re a piece of shit and I can prove it mathematically

Rick Sanchez (via spartanmark)

[koreytroll]

Sober Anguish

I’m so glad in this moment that I got sober, because I would be off the deep end. I would climb into a bottle and never come out in this situation. I would drink until I start to forget where I am. Then I would message you and tell you all the spiteful things I have in my head. You don’t deserve what I would say or do, so I’m glad I have the self control to shut myself down right now. I didn’t deserve how it went down. That’s mostly why I’m so sad. You said you cared about me, that you loved me. If you didn’t feel that way then you shouldn’t have said it. I told you I loved you, because I wanted you to know. I never had to hear it back. Believing you loved me then finding out it was not true was genuinely heartbreaking. I’m an actor, I can take rejection. That would have been fine to know that you just liked me.   I miss you. But I don’t want to be with a person who does not love me. If you showed up back at my apartment and begged for me back, crying on your knees, I would still say no. As lonely as I am and as much as I love you I would not take that risk. I want to be with someone for good and you’ve already proven that you’re not it. I just thought you were and that is what hurts worst of all.  When you came to pick up your things you had a smile on your face. A bright one that made me think you were happy to have me out of your life. Like I was a nuisance. Or that you met someone new. It hurts to think about you with someone else.  I’m now done with cigarettes and alcohol. I don’t know what to do to numb the pain anymore. Comedy works an hour at a time, but once a week isn’t cutting it. I know sex works for a time, but I genuinely think no one wants to have sex with me. I wonder what to do. I should end this pity party. As much as writing this is cathartic, its also pathetic. I honestly hope no one reads it.

[koreytroll]

fuck

[did-you-know]

One of the biggest times of the year for breakups is Valentine’s Day through the middle of March.

Source

[captainmontereyjack]

an Oh, Hello masterpost of sorts

Gil Faizon and George St. Geegland are two Upper West Side divorcees who enjoy Alan Alda and tuna-based martinis (“tunatini”/“martuna”).

original videos:

Yoga with Mona

Video Club with Boogie Weinstein

Visiting Gil’s Ex-Wife

Full Intro

Kroll Show:

Too Much Tuna Pt. 1

Too Much Tuna part Pt. 2

Basketball

there are a few others, but they don’t seem to be posted online. you should go watch the rest of kroll show anyways.

Comedy Bang! Bang! appearances:

Oh Hello part I

Oh Hello part II

Improvising a Scene from Bachelorette

Misc.:

Thank You Very Cool clip - Tunatini

(Live) Walking Tour of NYC (this used to be on youtube but i guess it was pulled? anyways, it’s now on this weird myspace player and you should still watch it because it’s great)

A Night with Kroll Show’s “Oh, Hello”

anyways, let me know if i left anything out!

[cooperbergs-deactivated20161002]

[nervousnewsboy]

Scott Aukerman: “Do you want your own late night show? I think you’d be good at it.” John Mulaney: “People tell me that because I’m white and I have a haircut.”

Comedy Bang! Bang! (via whatimblanking)

[milesmoralles-deactivated201710]

My motivation

[idrils]

john mulaney and pancakes

ok SO john mulaney has a new live show on the netflicks (the comeback kid) and i was lucky enough to see him do this act live in milwaukee this summer!!! but the recorded show is missing something special

so summer in milwaukee is known for being like. comically humid. disgustingly, oppressively humid. ‘can’t tell the difference between being downtown and being literally submerged in lake michigan’ humid

and poor john mulaney was wearing a nice-looking but also very warm suit. so once about every 10-20 minutes he would pause whatever spiel he was on, wipe his forehead, flutter his jacket about, regret his fashion choices and ask what was wrong with us that we don’t properly air condition our venues

about halfway through the show, a woman in one of the front rows stood up and started to walk out so in classic mulaney fashion he razzed her that she couldn’t take the heat either and asked her to bring him a pepsi - she didn’t break stride (i would try to play it cool too if over a thousand people were suddenly watching me get razzed by mulaney)

as soon as she was out of the theatre, he turned his mic off and started yelling to those of us who were still in there

“okay guys, we’re going to play a little prank on her! can everyone hear me? WE’RE GOING TO PLAY A PRANK! at some point later in the show i’m going to say ‘you know what they say in milwaukee!!’ and you’re all going to wave your arm around like this’ - he jauntily waved his arm with his first finger outstretched, like an 80 year old man doing the charleston - ‘and you will all shout ‘gimme some PANcakes!!!’’

we did a few rehearsals of this until he was satisfied, and he turned his mic back on and continued with his act

a few minutes later the woman walked back through the theatre but passed her row, walked all the way up to the stage, and set a can of pepsi at mulaney’s feet. he stopped, mouth agape for a moment and touched his chest. ‘is this really for me?’ he asked. ‘did i ask you for pepsi? i have no idea why i would do that, i hate pepsi.’ he thanked her sincerely several times, and when she turned his back to him to return to her seat, he made frantic ‘kill’ motions across his throat to signal to us that the prank was off

he continued to lament the heat for the rest of his act, eventually lost the jacket and drank the gifted pepsi, grimacing cartoonishly every time. at the very end of the night he thanked us for being a great audience, thanked the woman in particular for her kindness, and triumphantly said ‘BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY IN MILWAUKEE!!!’ and 1 very generous women was hopelessly confused when 1299 people shouted ‘GIMME SOME PANCAKES!!!!!’

[ascarletredrose]

A Scarlet Red Rose -😞

[caughtxfeelings]

[ermelina]

[ga-lac-tic]

☺️🌸

[soursugarandcorpses-blog]

[over-thinking-shit-blog]