Overly Exciting Title

If you're here for that Michael Grant post and know his books please go to my other blog goneseriesblog. If not, welcome!

[oh-frederik-what-a-day-its-been]

[headspace-hotel]

Was I the one scrolling this post like "surely this is going to be the last one"

[piglii]

hey real quick can anybody help me find this image that I’ve seen before here on tumblr. it looks like this

the button doesn’t necessarily say “Elucidate the Rapture” but it does say something that’s kind of lengthy and has religious connotations. the woman pushing the button has an expression of indescribable smugness. there might be other buttons on the machine (?) she is pressing.

[piglii]

FOUND IT

[andmaybegayer]

Oh this is only the first image in the Eschatron 9000 Series

[andmaybegayer]

and the finale, because of the Tumblr image limit

[piglii]

thanks this is part of an even grander incomprehensibleness than I could have expected

[a-third-attempt]

I cannot believe that this is a website where you can ask “hey i think i saw a weird image once” and put a bad stick figure drawing of it and someone will be like “oh yeah that’s the first installment of a 12-part post-ironic apocalypse fever dream photoshop series” and just hand you a dozen of the most unhinged images you’ve ever seen in your life, that still have a better three act structure than most modern cinema

[sisterofiris]

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

[yay855]

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

[rox-and-prose]

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

[watermite]

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

[xakumi]

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

[themodernsouthernpolytheist]

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

[asortoflight]

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

[whisky-gerblin]

Reblogging for the last addition

[badgraph1csghost]

Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.

Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.

[badgraph1csghost]

Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.

IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.

It’s even worse than i remember it

[omnicat]

I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.

[truenoodle]

Oh god this resonates so much. I don't know how to communicate the emotions I felt being one of like 3 women in a class while all 20-30 guys around me made rape jokes and laughed and told me to lighten up when I complained, or talked about "what type of Asian is your favourite" like we were breeds of dog or cuts of meat, or hear the guy beside me say "who cares?" when the prof announced that the first woman had just won the fields medal, or even just the blatant staring when I walked into class like I was some kind of foreign object.

[butchscientist]

[ID: A tweet by dyke to watch out for, @dyke3watchout5, which reads: "It's always "how do we get more women into math" and never "how do we get more misogynists out of math". /end ID]

[penrosesun]

I once spent a summer working on research project in a chemistry lab at Harvard, and you know the biggest thing that stood out to me? The building I was working in had exactly 1/3 as many bathrooms for women as for men. It had clearly been built with no bathrooms for women at all, and had only reluctantly converted some of the men's bathrooms to be for women after the fact. There was a seminar about "advancing women in STEM" on campus basically every week, and I fucking guarantee that not a single one of them did as much to advance women in STEM as my group's PI, who declared about two days into the program that all women in the building should "feel free to use the men's restrooms if they're closer or less occupied, and men who are uncomfortable about that should consider how their female colleagues feel just existing in a building like this one". Women aren't mysterious creatures who need to be lured into the sciences with treats and special programs; they're human beings, and the main things keeping them out of STEM fields are those fields utterly refusing to treat them as such.

[pnkvmpr-hiatus-deactivated20240]

but seriously shout out to bi girls who want boyfriends/husbands or have boyfriends/husbands and love them a lot I know people give you shit for "choosing the straight side" and saying like, "oh well society expects you to be in relationships with men" as an excuse to like, be rude or exclude you from wlw/LGBT spaces and conversations and dismiss your complaints about how bi women are treated etc. you're fucking awesome and you deserve to be in community spaces and to feel safe and welcomed, and you shouldnt have to feel guilty because people think your love is somehow less radical or whatever the fuck. i hope you have a lovely healthy relationship with a boyfriend/husband and he makes you feel happy and loved and accepted.

[swishersposts]

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

[zsnes]

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs

[mens-rights-activia]

Y’all be saying “world heritage post” to anything but this is actually what a a UNESCO world heritage post looks like

[anti-capitalistlesbianwitch]

Don’t compliment me by insulting another woman.

[imgetting2old4diss]

This

[a-queer-seminarian]

A twitter thread by Caitlin J. Stout @CaitlinJStout from Feb 25 2021 reading,

A friend asked the other day what percentage of people I went to youth group with “deconstructed” and what percentage remained evangelical. As I thought about it, I realized that for the most part it was the kids who took their faith the most seriously who eventually walked away.

Those of us who tearfully promised that we would follow Jesus anywhere eventually followed him out the door. The Queer kids, more than anyone, learned exactly what it meant to work out our faith with fear and trembling.

They told us to read the Bible and take it seriously and then mocked us for becoming “social justice warriors.”

Now they’re warning us not to deconstruct to the point of meaninglessness.

But they took a chisel to God until he fit in a box. They “deconstructed” the concept of love until it allowed them to tolerate sexual abuse, celebrate white supremacy, and look away from kids in cages.

Some of us got to where we are because we took it all to heart. We took the most foundational elements of our faith to their natural conclusions. Folks who deconstruct evangelicalism aren’t drop-outs; they’re graduates.

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

“Your kids are not leaving the church because you didn’t train them enough.   Your kids are leaving the church because you trained them well enough to develop a sense for truth and justice.  You let them read the words of Jesus - and they got it.  And they’ve recognized that the church doesn’t seem to be interested in those words. They’re not leaving because they don’t know the truth, they’re leaving because they do.“ 

- Rhett McLaughlin

[obaewankenope]

“But they took a chisel to God until he fit into a box” is probably the RAWEST line I’ve ever read in my life. Holy shit.

[free-range-tiddies]

Can't believe Peter Griffin really tried it.

[video-store-clerk]

Ok but I'd the second dude like...a vampire? Because my straight ass is bewitched.

[gamebiadvance]

[Transcript:

(the first person has text over them that says "being fat and wanting a girlfriend")

First person: "See what's behind this door..!"

(Door has text over it that says "fat girls" while The Toccata and Fugue in D minor plays in the background)

First person: "Noo, is there a bett-"

Second person: " Yo it's funny that there's an entire demographic, of petite women who love bigger men. But because you've just ousted yourself, as a cunt, it's never gonna happen for you mate. You're really out here body shaming, all these beautiful shawties, big body Bugatti (kiss noise), exquisite; but you're built like a less cool Bling Bling Boy from Johnny Test. Make it make sense mate. It doesn't- it really doesn't. Could've kept your mouth shut. But you had to say something. And you even went so far as to put it on the internet. And you thought that was a good idea because-? Please, take yourself elsewhere. Sincerely the entire fucking human race."

End transcript.]

[thunderboltsortofapenny]

The moment that man started speaking -

[bundibird]

That transcript up there is great, but it fails to mention that the second person? Has a voice like... warm caramel. Like a blanket on a rainy day. Like the gentle creak of an ancient tree in an even more ancient forest. A voice that's a low, deep -- far deeper than expected -- warm, and has a soothing timbre that, honestly, I could listen to for hours.

[bisexuanal]

Those stories like “car thief steals car without realizing baby in back, returns baby safe” “burglar finds cp stash on computer turns guy in”

And everyone is always so shocked and amazed but like. It really shows how much we’ve tied morality to legality. Legal corporations exploit and harm people every day and we’re all used to is. A petty thief has normal morals and everyone is like shocked.

Amazing fact but ... ppl who turn to crime to survive don’t suddenly become feelingless sociopaths and tbh I’d rather hang out with “blue collar criminals” all day than the top brass of any one company wtf because chances are I’ll find better ppl among the car thieves lmao

[ralfmaximus]

My favorite story is the one where a sexual violence crisis center was broken into and all their computers stolen. Then a few hours later the thieves broke in AGAIN and returned everything with a note: “We’re sorry. We had no idea what you guys did.”

[joey-wheeler-official]

The twilight "renaisance" is really funny cause everyone just went "was twilight really that bad?" only to discover that it was actually much worse than we thought it was at first.

Like we all hated it for being something teen girls liked and having really lame vampires when we could've hated it for being weird racist mormon propaganda.

[yumekoba-deactivated20210608]

“I’m so anti-fascist I report my friends and neighbors to the feds”

[indianaconservative]

“I would have never snitched on Anne Frank! Anyway, here’s a person I’m related to at the capitol!”

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

Hey I don't know if you know this but snitching on someone for storming the capitol with intent to kill someone is not the same as snitching on someone for the crime of... *checks notes* being a jewish child

[lesbiansgoal]

Do suits do it for you too?

[sinni-ok-sessi]

academic networking, or as I like to think of it, hanging around people long enough that they add you to their dropbox of illicit and highly topic-specific pdfs

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

academic group chats:

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

[bimbogollum]

I’m a little bit obsessed with makeover/dressing scenes where the reveal is an undeniable downgrade from what the character started out with. Top tier comedy

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

[angelinestprim]

This absolute disgrace…

[bisexualprivilege]

[danisontnonfire]

[ladybluefox666]