Nerd

Eyyyyyyyyy.

[motherfuckingshakespeare]

A HANDY CHART FOR THOSE OF YOU WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THESE. NOTE THAT THESE ARE ALL THE INFORMAL AND YOU IS THE FORMAL SO LIKE YOU WOULD ALWAYS ADDRESS YOUR SUPERIOR/ OLDER PERSON/ SOCIAL BETTER WITH YOU BUT WITH YOUR BUDS YOU CAN USE THESE. 

[heroineimages]

I’m not sure I knew the thy/thine distinction. Thanks for this!

[onbearfeet]

THINE IS ALSO GRAMMATICALLY EQUIVALENT TO YOURS.

“It is yours” and “It is thine” differ only in their level of formality.

[lesbianmarrow]

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

[redstonedust]

hearing down the grapevine that canada is joining eurovision and losing my mind. imagine looking at the event that 5 countries boycotted this year and going yeah. we want a part of that. that sinking ship looks soo fun lets all get on the sinking ship together.

[thememedaddy]

[thecaptainkindofgirl]

My dad works at Home Depot and this one customer came in trying to return a lawnmower that wouldn’t start. Another employee asked the customer if he had put any gas in it and the customer was outraged, yelling that they should have told him it needed gas (it was in the manual) and the employee told him “Well it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams, sir.” That pissed the guy off more so he called the manager all “Can you believe this guy!? He told me it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams!” and the manager just said “Well, it doesn’t.”

[queer-as-city-folk]

I love old union songs because it's like this fucking asshole was a scab so we fucking threw him in the river and he broke his spine and when he went to heaven he was scabbing on the angels so they fired him down to heaven and the devil was like you have to work in hell for being a dirty scab

[queer-as-city-folk]

I'm not joking, this is an actual song

[queer-as-city-folk]

The modern Union could never make a song this good

[beloved-notizbuch]

Ratet mal, wer gerade eine 164-seitige Masterarbeit über Asexualität in Fanfictions gefunden hat und jetzt das liest, anstatt für Prüfungen zu lernen

[gallusrostromegalus]

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

[starathsbunker]

#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus

I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious

[gallusrostromegalus]

A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)

Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.

[coffeefocusrat]

you're just mad because you're hungry and tired and your legs hurt and you head hurts and you're too hot and you have depression

[hyumjim]

Starting a collection

[hyumjim]

[bannock-and-biopolitics-deactiv]

A lot of adulthood is shouting “AUGH MY LAUNDRY” hours after you put it in the washer/dryer and running to go fetch it

[curlicuecal]

oh shit my laundry

[mishafletcher]

reblog to save someone’s laundry

[wolfythewitch]

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[kosmogrl]

[sabertoothwalrus]

I love when someone is explaining instructions to a group I’m in and they look at me and it reminds them to say something about using preferred names/pronouns or that there’s vegan food options available. I go by my given name/pronouns and I’m not vegan but I’m proud that I can provide this service

[batbetbitbotbut]

[murkymarco]

Caught myself spiraling and then remembered it's just my body not wanting to exist in these temperatures

[parkchanwoohoo]

Had my suspicions but I have finally confirmed it this morning: The rival Pokémon Go team I have been beefing with, whose gym's total annihilation I have incorporated into my morning routine, is actually a group of local elementary school students

[parkchanwoohoo]

I always wondered why the Pokémon at this gym were so weak but today I left the house before the local students get picked up by the schoolbus and I saw a group of kids congregating around the gym pokestop and I was like "Oh no"

[undeadentropy]

Congrats on being promoted to pokemon villain

[transgenderer]

its cool that sometimes people try to have one kid and accidentally have two kids. flavorful. more things should work like that. get married and suddenly there's a second wife. pass the interview and end up with two jobs. etc. keep em guessing