The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.
Imagine being JD Vance, who makes such a huge part of his personality being catholic. The pope himself takes time to lecture you on compassion then promptly DIES. The pope uses one of his last hours on earth to tell you that you suck at your religion on EASTER. And then DIES. Anyway RIP Pope Francis
good post but please do not call them “MAPS” EVER. Call them pedophile ALWAYS. These are not “MAP flags”. These are Pedophile Flags plain and simple. Do not normalize the other. It’s what they want.
I love your writing and it's great and wanted to know if gonna write for the harper alexander story again?????
I’m currently working on my multiple Santa clause series! I will be needing to rewatch 2001 maniacs, but I will eventually be writing for it again! It is currently on hiatus, but will be resumed this year.
(Chapter 15 of two souls entwined in the North Pole)
Master list
Bernard wakes up the next morning, dressed in only a pair of flannel sleep pants, soulmate snuggled tightly against his side. Things couldn't be better. Sighing contently, he plants a kiss in your hair. He wishes he could stay there forever, but there's work to be done. Gently untangling himself from you, he steps out from under the covers. Picking up his clothes from the ground, he slips them back on. Securing his beret back in place, he looks in the bathroom mirror. Scratches cover his back and a dark hickey is on the base of his neck. Sighing, he slings his bag over his head and slips on his shoes. Giving one last look to you, he smiles and unlocks the door, stepping outside and closing the door behind him.
"What are you doing in Mx. (Y/n)'s room?"
Whipping around, he sighs after seeing it is only Curtis.
"None of your business." Bernard huffs.
"As keeper of the handbook, it is my business to keep the spirit of Christmas in good health. And that includes their soulmate." Curtis berates Bernard.
"Well, as head elf, I'm overruling that decision." Bernard places his hands on his hips, still sore from the previous night.
"Well, as you should know, the legendary figures are here to welcome Santa and the spirit of Christmas. And that means that Mx. (Y/n) needs to be woken up." Curtis says, opening the door before bernard can stop him.
Curtis's eyes widen as he gazes around the room. Clothes thrown about and a bare leg hanging out of your bed.
"Oh my—" Curtis starts only to be cut off by Bernard's hand covering his mouth.
"I told you that it was none of your business." Bernard almost growls.
You turn over in the bed and reach to where bernard previously was. Feeling that he's no longer there, you open your eyes and scan the room for your lover.
"Oh, fuck!" You exclaim, seeing Curtis standing there, his mouth agape, and gather up the blanket to cover you.
"You— you— Santa's not gonna like this!" Curtis points to them and rushes out the door.
"What the fuck, Bernard!" You scramble to grab underwear and a shirt.
"I didn't mean-" Bernard stutters out.
"Well that's great. Now he's gonna tell my dad." You sigh.
"I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be out in a minute." You stumble up.
"Let me help you!" Bernard rushes to your side, hooking his arm around you.
Walking to the bathroom and sitting down, you quickly pee. Going to wash your hands, you look in the mirror. Large hickeys litter your neck and shoulder. Blooms of purple and blue surround your nipples.
"Look what you've done." You sigh.
"You did a number on me as well. You weren't complaining last night." Bernard crosses his arms.
"Guess I'm wearing a turtle neck for a while. At least I'm not seeing anyone for a while." You sigh in relief.
"Well, actually, the legendary figures are here to meet you and your dad." Bernard rushes out.
"That's just great. When is that?" You ask.
"Actually, now. They're waiting in your dads room." Bernard bites his cheek.
"Now!? Why didn't you lead with that?!" You say, rushing out of the bathroom and throwing on clean clothes.
"I'm fucked!" You exclaim, searching for a scarf.
"Well, since you asked so nicely," Bernard snakes an arm around your waist and peppers your face with soft kisses.
"I'm late, I can't just not show up." You kiss him back.
"Yeah, I guess your right. And as head elf, I'm supposed to be their as well to make sure everything goes smoothly." Bernard pries himself off of you.
"Well, Mr. head elf, lead the way." You giggle, gesturing to the door.
"As you wish, Mx. spirit of Christmas." He jokes back, taking your hand and leading you down the hallway.
Making your way to your dads room, you slip your hand into his and rest your head on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know Curtis was going to come into your room." Bernard whispers softly.
"It's okay. I mean we are soulmates. What did he think was gonna happen." You giggle.
Butterflies swarm his stomach. Even though you were just so intimate last night, he can't help but feel special to see you so vulnerable.
Smiling up at him, you place a kiss at the corner of his mouth.
"I love you." He smiles down at you.
"And I love you."
Getting to your dads room you rap your knuckles against the double door. Shifting can be heard behind the door and you untangle yourself from bernard.
Opening the door your dad grins widely at the both of you.
"Finally up, sleepyhead?" He ruffles your hair.
"Yeah, yeah, old man. Hardy har." You roll your eyes.
"And you," your dad points to Bernard, laughing. "I expected you much earlier. I guess even the head elf can be tardy."
"It won't happen again, sir." Bernard blushes.
"Let's get this meeting started." Your dad ushers you both into the room.
"Let's get this meeting started." Your dad ushers you both into the room.
(Chapter 14 of two souls entwined in the North Pole)
Afab version
"I'm so lucky to have you as my soulmate." Bernard says brushing his hand against mine as we make our way down the hallway.
We make it to my room and I open the door, locking it behind us. Dragging us to bed, I make him drop my suitcase. I don't care. All I care about is being here, with him. Pulling him onto my bed I pull my hat off and set it on the side table. I kick my shoes off and he takes his shoes and hat off as well.
"You're the most beautiful person I've ever known." I say, linking our hands.
"Cara Mia!" He takes my face in his hands.
"I love you." I smile.
"And I love you." He says pulling me into a passionate kiss.
My hands go to his hair and entangle themselves in it. His tongue swipes my lower lip and I happily oblige. His tongue slips into my mouth and I moan gently. One of my hands leaves his hair and trails the tip of his ear. He damn near completely gives out to me. Moaning softly, one hand goes to caress my back. I pull away.
"Is everything ok? We can stop if you need to." He whispers.
"Everything's perfect. I'm afraid I'll wake up any moment to this not being real. I'm utterly in love with you. And if this is real, which I hope it is, I'm ready to take the next step. With you." I barely make out.
"Oh (Y/n)!" He cries, his lips going to my neck.
Gently sucking on the tender skin, I can feel his teeth nip.
"You'll leave a mark." I moan out.
"Good, I want them to know you're mine." He growls.
"Just wait a moment." I say gently pushing him.
"What's wrong?" He asks.
"Stop asking that. I'll tell you if something's wrong. And things couldn't be more right here." I say.
And in one quick movement my top is on the floor. Standing up I quickly unbutton my pants. Dropping them to the ground, I climb back onto the bed.
"You're beautiful." He gasps awestruck.
"You're the most handsome man I've ever met." I say capturing his lips in mine.
He kisses back hungry. Like a man that's been starved for days. His hand snakes it's way behind me and undoes my bra in one swift movement. Pulling away he tears his shirt off, throwing it to the ground. Like it was keeping me away from him, he pulls his pants down and in one swift motion we are both in our underwear. My bra hangs on by just the straps.
"I'm ashamed. I'm sure I'm not as pretty or attractive as your soulmate should be." I say looking at the floor.
"You're perfect." He says taking my hands in his.
Pulling away, I toss my bra onto a nearby chair. His hands go to my tits, thumbs brushing my nipples. I bite my lip to suppress a moan. I pull him onto the bed and he kneels over me. His eyes roams over my exposed figure, lingering at my nipples. They stick out from the cold and previous stimulation. His eyes lock with mine and I nod. In a split second his mouth meets my nipple. Gently sucking on one of them, he rubs the other one with the pad of his thumb. My back arches into the bed as I let out a loud moan. He looks at me, not detaching himself. In fact, his tongue circles my nipple and he sucks harder.
"Please!" I cry out.
He released my teased nipple from his mouth and grins at me. "Please what? Come on princess, use your words." He teases, thumbs now rubbing both my nipples.
"More! Need more!" I cry.
My clit is throbbing and I feel like I've absolutely soaked through my panties.
"See. I knew you could do it." He smirks.
His hands trail down my frame to my underwear. His thumb rubs me through the layers.
"My, my, look what we have here. Is this all for me?" He asks.
"For you! Only for you!" I cry, begging for stimulation.
"Why you've made a mess of these, better get them out of the way then." He says, and in one swift motion my underwear are in his hands. His cock throbs through his boxers.
"So wet for me already." He grins, spreading my pussy lips open.
"I know you want this now, but can you hand me your bag?" He asks.
I nod dumbly and reach for my bag. Handing it to him he pulls out a small bag. He opens it and slips something onto his thumb, setting the bags back onto the floor.
"This, is something I've made especially with you in mind." He says.
"What is it?" My voice trembles.
"Well, why don't you lay back and find out?" He asks, pushing me back onto the bed.
A light buzzing can be heard as he clicks a button. I realize it's a vibrator. It's small, but no doubt powerful. I spread my legs and he slips between my thighs. His thumb gently massaging my clit sends waves of pleasure through me. His middle and ring finger slip inside my pussy. Slowly at first, then faster he moves his fingers in an upward motion. Suddenly he stops, just as I'm about to reach my high.
"Can I?" He asks.
"Can you what?" I whine.
"Can I taste you? Please?" He gives me a puppy look.
I nod and he moves down. Taking off the vibrator and handing it to me he props my thighs onto his shoulders. Licking a strip from my hole to my clit, he moans.
"Oh my—!"I cry out.
He takes my clit into his mouth and sucks gently on it. I'm not sure I'm gonna make it. My hips rise off of his shoulders momentarily, but he forces me back down. Stoping the sucking, he licks rapidly at my clit. He knows. I'm not gonna last long like this.
"Bernard!" I moan loudly.
His fingers go back into me and as he licks he fingers me. A wave washes over me and I know I'm gonna cum. Pushing his head down, I cum hard and he laps it up. He comes back up and gasps lightly. His cock is at attention. The outline of it makes my mouth water.
"May I?" I ask tugging at his waistband.
He pulls me into a kiss and I can taste myself on his mouth. I palm his cock through his boxers and he moans into me. I flip us around so he's on the bottom.
"Please. It's my first time." He pleads.
"Mine too. But I'm all yours." I grin.
"And I'm yours." He nods.
Pulling off his boxers and throwing them on the floor I take in the glory that is his cock. Precum glistens on the tip and oozes. He's big, but not too big. Maybe seven inches. He's girthy though. Biting my lip, I bend down to it and place a gentle kiss on the tip, my hand not able to reach all the way around it.
"Cara Mia!" He moans.
Gently pumping it, the tip gets more flushed. He's practically melting under my touch and I haven't barely done anything yet. I lick the slit and his breath hitches.
"Please!" He nearly cries.
Taking him into my mouth, my hand pumps what can't fit. Bobbing my head, I start slow. Giving him time to adjust I pick up the pace. He's a moaning mess under me. Just as I'm about to come up, his hands reach into my hair and pushes me down. I gag slightly, but I can take it. His hands guide me up and down. Soon a gurgled sound comes from him and he cums hard into my mouth. It's sweeter than I expected, probably from the candy diet. I swallow and come back up.
"I'm so sorry!" He apologizes.
"It's okay!" I assure him.
That made me even more horny though. I need to know how he feels in me. Squeezing my thighs together, I shift on the bed.
"That's a relief." He sighs.
"Can I—?" I cut myself off.
"Can you what?" He asks.
"Can I— ride you?" I ask bashfully.
"What's that?" He asks, tilting his head.
"You know what a vibrator is, but don't know what riding is?" I ask.
"This is my first time." He shrugs.
"It's when I climb on top of you." I explain briefly.
He doesn't respond, but picks me up and brings me down where my legs are on either side of him and my pussy rests on his chest.
"So yes?" I ask.
"Absolutely." He nods.
I'm already so wet I don't need lube. Lowering myself onto his cock, we both gasp.
"You're so... warm," he groans.
I hover a minute when he grabs my hips and forces my down hard.
"(Y/n)!" He moans loudly.
"Oh!" I gasp.
Slowly I start rolling my hips. He's big enough where he doesn't need to move much to hit all the right spots. After a few moments, I start to bounce up and down on his cock. His hands hold me steady as I go down harder and harder. I lift up almost off of it and slam my pussy down hard onto his cock and he melts under me.
"Please (Y/n)!" He cries, tears of pleasure leaking from his eyes.
Judging by his reaction he's about to orgasm. I speed up, bouncing up and down and soon he takes over slamming me down onto his throbbing member. With a cry, he cums in me. Warmth fills my cavern but I continue riding out his high.
"Use me!" He cry's out.
"Oh honey, I will." I moan out.
His hand goes to my clit and he starts rubbing circles into it. I can feel my own orgasm building as his second is.
"More please!" I cry as he presses harder, rougher circles into my already throbbing clit.
His cum makes a great lube. Impaling myself over and over again on him, I am almost to bursting from pleasure. Soon I orgasm hard and cum just as hard as he did all over his cock and onto the sheets. His orgasm is mere moments later, but I continue riding him. I never want him to not be in me. Riding out his high, I chase my second. He stops me.
"How bout we switch, beautiful?" He grins and in a split second I'm laying down with him on top of me.
"Please! Bernard! I need you back in me!" I cry.
And in one quick movement he's inside me. I gasp, he feels even bigger from this angle, if possible. He pounds into me hard and fast. Moaning, I throw my head back. His thumb ghosts over my puffy clit. He circles it gently clockwise. His lips attach to mine and I slip my tongue into his mouth with a moan. I explore every inch of his mouth with my tongue. He goes even faster if possible. Grunting, he moans.
The vibrator is back on his finger and at my clit. Vibrations go through my body and I arch my back. I can feel my orgasm building and he must know it because he's going unbearably slow now.
"Please!" I plead.
"Please what, princess?" He smirks knowingly.
"Please make me cum, sir!" I cry.
"As you wish." He grins.
He grinds down onto me harder. I cum hard. He starts to pull out when I stop him.
"Darling, what are you doing? I'm about to-" he starts as I cut him off.
"In me." I breath.
"What?" He asks.
"Cum in me. I need you!" I wrap my legs around him.
"If you say so." He shrugs and continues pounding into me.
Cumming hard, he groans. Warm semen coats my walls and I groan. Pulling out, his cum paints my thighs a glittery mess.
"Can I clean you up?" I ask.
"Are you sure?" He asks.
I nod and take him into my mouth with one swift motion.
"I didn't think you meant this!" He gasps.
I lick his gorgeous cock clean. I rise up and he pulls me into a soft kiss.
"I love you." He sighs into my shoulder.
"I'm tired." I breath.
"I'm sure you are now!" Bernard jokes.
"Can we take care of this tomorrow?" I ask.
"Of course darling." He says pulling pajama pants on and handing me a pair.
"You better take a shower though." He says.
"I should." I say, nearly collapsing trying to get out of bed.
"Let me help you. I shouldn't have been so rough with you!" He says, picking me up effortlessly.
"Oh!" I gasp.
He carries me to the toilet and sets me on it.
"I'll get you a washcloth instead." He shuffles out.
He comes back with a washcloth and runs it under some warm water. He kneels down and starts to wash his dried seed off of my thighs. After I'm all cleaned up, he carries me back to bed and lays me down. I pull him into bed with me.
"Stay."
"I will"
———————————————————————-
Amab version
"I'm so lucky to have you as my soulmate." Bernard says brushing his hand against mine as we make our way down the hallway.
We make it to my room and I open the door, locking it behind us. Dragging us to bed, I make him drop my suitcase. I don't care. All I care about is being here, with him. Pulling him onto my bed I pull my hat off and set it on the side table. I kick my shoes off and he takes his shoes and hat off as well.
"You're the most beautiful person I've ever known." I say, linking our hands.
"Cara Mia!" He takes my face in his hands.
"I love you." I smile.
"And I love you." He says pulling me into a passionate kiss.
My hands go to his hair and entangle themselves in it. His tongue swipes my lower lip and I happily oblige. His tongue slips into my mouth and I moan gently. One of my hands leaves his hair and trails the tip of his ear. He damn near completely gives out to me. Moaning softly, one hand goes to caress my back. I pull away.
"Is everything ok? We can stop if you need to." He whispers.
"Everything's perfect. I'm afraid I'll wake up any moment to this not being real. I'm utterly in love with you. And if this is real, which I hope it is, I'm ready to take the next step. With you." I barely make out.
"Oh (Y/n)!" He cries, his lips going to my neck.
Gently sucking on the tender skin, I can feel his teeth nip.
"You'll leave a mark." I moan out.
"Good, I want them to know you're mine." He growls.
"Just wait a moment." I say gently pushing him.
"What's wrong?" He asks.
"Stop asking that. I'll tell you if something's wrong. And things couldn't be more right here." I say.
And in one quick movement my top is on the floor. Standing up I quickly unbutton my pants. Dropping them to the ground, I climb back onto the bed.
"You're beautiful." He gasps awestruck.
"You're the most handsome man I've ever met." I say capturing his lips in mine.
He kisses back hungry. Like a man that's been starved for days. Standing up abruptly, he tears his shirt off, throwing it to the ground. Like it was keeping me away from him, he pulls his pants down and in one swift motion we are both in our underwear.
"I'm ashamed. I'm sure I'm not as pretty or attractive as your soulmate should be." I say looking at the floor.
"You're perfect." He says taking my hands in his.
Pulling away, I take in his form. His hands go to my chest, thumbs brushing my nipples. I bite my lip to suppress a moan. I pull him onto the bed and he kneels over me. His eyes roams over my exposed figure, lingering at my nipples. They stick out from the cold and previous stimulation. His eyes lock with mine and I nod. In a split second his mouth meets my nipple. Gently sucking on one of them, he rubs the other one with the pad of his thumb. My back arches into the bed as I let out a loud moan. He looks at me, not detaching himself. In fact, his tongue circles my nipple and he sucks harder.
"Please!" I cry out.
He released my teased nipple from his mouth and grins at me. "Please what? Come on sir, use your words." He teases, thumbs now rubbing both my nipples
"More! Need more!" I cry.
My cock is throbbing and I feel like I've absolutely soaked through my boxers.
"See. I knew you could do it." He smirks.
His hands trail down my frame to my underwear. His thumb rubs my tip through the layers.
"My, my, look what we have here. Is this all for me?" He asks.
"For you! Only for you!" I cry, begging for stimulation.
"Why you've made a mess of these, better get them out of the way then." He says, and in one swift motion my underwear are in his hands. His cock throbs through his boxers.
"So hard for me already." He grins, palming my cock.
"I know you want this now, but can you hand me your bag?" He asks.
I nod dumbly and reach for my bag. Handing it to him he pulls out a small bag. He opens it and slips something onto his thumb, setting the bags back onto the floor.
"This, is something I've made especially with you in mind." He says.
"What is it?" My voice trembles.
"Well, why don't you lay back and find out?" He asks, pushing me back onto the bed.
A light buzzing can be heard as he clicks a button. I realize it's a vibrator. It's small, but no doubt powerful. I spread my legs and he slips between my thighs. His thumb gently massaging my tip sends waves of pleasure through me. His other hand begins to jerk me off. Slowly at first, then faster he moves his hand in an upward motion. Suddenly he stops, just as I'm about to reach my high.
"Can I?" He asks.
"Can you what?" I whine.
"Can I taste you? Please?" He gives me a puppy look.
I nod and he moves down. Taking off the vibrator and handing it to me he props my thighs onto his shoulders. Hollowing his cheeks, he takes me into his mouth as he moans.
"Oh my—!"I cry out.
He licks my slit and sucks gently on the tip of my cock. I'm not sure I'm gonna make it. My hips rise off of his shoulders momentarily, but he forces me back down. Stoping the sucking, he licks rapidly at my cock. He knows. I'm not gonna last long like this.
"Bernard!" I moan loudly.
His hand goes back to the base of my cock and he bobs up and down on the shaft. A wave washes over me and I know I'm gonna cum. Pushing his head down, I cum hard and he laps it up. He comes back up and gasps lightly. His cock is at attention. The outline of it makes my mouth water.
"May I?" I ask tugging at his waistband.
He pulls me into a kiss and I can taste myself on his mouth. I palm his cock through his boxers and he moans into me. I flip us around so he's on the bottom.
"Please. It's my first time." He pleads.
"Mine too. But I'm all yours." I grin.
"And I'm yours." He nods.
Pulling off his boxers and throwing them on the floor I take in the glory that is his cock. Precum glistens on the tip and oozes. He's big, but not too big. Maybe seven inches. He's girthy though. Biting my lip, I bend down to it and place a gentle kiss on the tip, my hand not able to reach all the way around it.
"Cara Mia!" He moans.
Gently pumping it, the tip gets more flushed. He's practically melting under my touch and I haven't barely done anything yet. I lick the slit and his breath hitches.
"Please!" He nearly cries.
Taking him into my mouth, my hand pumps what can't fit. Bobbing my head, I start slow. Giving him time to adjust I pick up the pace. He's a moaning mess under me. Just as I'm about to come up, his hands reach into my hair and pushes me down. I gag slightly, but I can take it. His hands guide me up and down. Soon a gurgled sound comes from him and he cums hard into my mouth. It's sweeter than I expected, probably from the candy diet. I swallow and come back up.
"I'm so sorry!" He apologizes.
"It's okay!" I assure him.
That made me even more horny though. I need to know how he feels in me. Squeezing my thighs together, I shift on the bed.
"That's a relief." He sighs.
"Can I—?" I cut myself off.
"Can you what?" He asks.
"Can I— ride you?" I ask bashfully.
"What's that?" He asks, tilting his head.
"You know what a vibrator is, but don't know what riding is?" I ask.
"This is my first time." He shrugs.
"It's when I climb on top of you." I explain briefly.
He doesn't respond, but picks me up and brings me down where my legs are on either side of him and I rest on his chest.
"So yes?" I ask.
"Absolutely." He nods.
I prep my hole with lube and I work a finger inside myself. Once ready I begin lowering myself onto his cock, we both gasp.
"You're so... warm," he groans.
I hover a minute when he grabs my hips and forces my down hard.
"(Y/n)!" He moans loudly.
"Oh!" I gasp.
Slowly I start rolling my hips. He's big enough where he doesn't need to move much to hit all the right spots. After a few moments, I start to bounce up and down on his cock. His hands hold me steady as I go down harder and harder. I lift up almost off of it and slam my ass down hard onto his cock and he melts under me.
"Please (Y/n)!" He cries, tears of pleasure leaking from his eyes.
Judging by his reaction he's about to orgasm. I speed up, bouncing up and down and soon he takes over slamming me down onto his throbbing member. With a cry, he cums in me. Warmth fills my cavern but I continue riding out his high.
"Use me!" He cry's out.
"Oh honey, I will." I moan out.
His hand goes to my cock and he starts pumping it. I can feel my own orgasm building as his second is.
"More please!" I cry as he jerks harder and faster, rubbing his thumb on my tip.
His cum makes a great lube. Impaling myself over and over again on him, I am almost to bursting from pleasure. Soon I orgasm hard and cum just as hard as he did all over his chest and onto the sheets. His orgasm is mere moments later, but I continue riding him. I never want him to not be in me. Riding out his high, I chase my second. He stops me.
"How bout we switch, beautiful?" He grins and in a split second I'm laying down with him on top of me.
"Please! Bernard! I need you back in me!" I cry.
And in one quick movement he's inside me. I gasp, he feels even bigger from this angle, if possible. He pounds into me hard and fast. Moaning, I throw my head back. His thumb ghosts over my sensitive head. He circles it gently clockwise. His lips attach to mine and I slip my tongue into his mouth with a moan. I explore every inch of his mouth with my tongue. He goes even faster if possible. Grunting, he moans.
The vibrator is back on his finger and at my cock. Vibrations go through my body and I arch my back. I can feel my orgasm building and he must know it because he's going unbearably slow now.
"Please!" I plead.
"Please what, sir?" He smirks knowingly.
"Please make me cum, master!" I cry.
"As you wish." He grins.
He grinds down onto me harder. I cum hard. He starts to pull out when I stop him.
"Darling, what are you doing? I'm about to-" he starts as I cut him off.
"In me." I breath.
"What?" He asks.
"Cum in me. I need you!" I wrap my legs around him.
"If you say so." He shrugs and continues pounding into me.
Cumming hard, he groans. Warm semen coats my walls and I groan. Pulling out, his cum paints my thighs a glittery mess.
"Can I clean you up?" I ask.
"Are you sure?" He asks.
I nod and take him into my mouth with one swift motion.
"I didn't think you meant this!" He gasps.
I lick his gorgeous cock clean. I rise up and he pulls me into a soft kiss.
"I love you." He sighs into my shoulder.
"I'm tired." I breath.
"I'm sure you are now!" Bernard joke.
"Can we take care of this tomorrow?" I ask.
"Of course darling." He says pulling pajama pants on and handing me a pair.
"You better take a shower though." He says.
"I should." I say, nearly collapsing trying to get out of bed.
"Let me help you. I shouldn't have been so rough with you!" He says, picking me up effortlessly.
"Oh!" I gasp.
He carries me to the toilet and sets me on it.
"I'll get you a washcloth instead." He shuffles out.
He comes back with a washcloth and runs it under some warm water. He kneels down and starts to wash his dried seed off of my thighs. After I'm all cleaned up, he carries me back to bed and lays me down. I pull him into bed with me.
It's been eight months and the amount of mouth injuries I've gotten is impossible to count. Luckily my mouth instantly heals now, but it's still inconvenient. My canine teeth have sharpened and my ears have elongated slightly. Being a children's librarian it makes it easy to pass off as a cosplay in town. Dad is trying to deny what happened, but his hair has gone light grey and he has gained a lot of weight. I mean a lot. I'm setting up to record when I hear the sound of bells. I spin in my chair to see Bernard standing in my doorway.
"What are you doing here?" I ask him.
"Just checking in. How's everything going?" Bernard sits onto my bed.
"Cool, cool. My mom doesn't want dad to ever see Charlie again, but other than that I've been good." I say pulling on my sweater over my tank top.
"Oh, sorry about that." He winces.
"They'll work it out. They always do." I shrug.
"What exactly are you doing?" He asks, looking behind me at my books laid out.
"I'm gonna be going to work at the library" I say putting on my barrettes.
"Can I come?" He asks.
"Absolutely! Just wondering, why?" I ask, putting on my clip on earrings.
"I have to see what your like with children. It's customary." He explains.
"Makes sense." I nod as I grab the bag he gifted me.
"It's just down the road so I walk." I say slipping on my shoes.
"Are you sure you can walk in those?" He points to my platforms.
"Yeah, totally. I've been rocking platforms for over ten years." I smile.
We walk out the door and I lock it behind me. The walk to the library is a short but pretty one. The flowers seem to bloom and the birds sing in the trees. After a short five minutes, we are there. Entering the library, I am greeted by a chorus of hellos from patrons and coworkers. I clock in and walk back to Bernard.
"Reading corner isn't for another couple hours, I've got shelving until then." I gesture to my cart.
"That's okay. I need to see how you work with others anyways." He shrugs.
Quickly and efficiently I stock all the returns and still have twenty minutes until reading to the children. Bernard observes from the corner as I check out several people.
"Oh I love this book!" I say to the person I'm checking out, gesturing to the book Misery.
"I adore Stephen king and haven't been able to find this one yet. Im excited to read it." The customer grins.
"Well, tell me how you like it when you return it." I smile back.
The head librarian taps my shoulder as the customer walks away.
"It's time." She smiles.
I grab my small bell from the counter and make my way to the reading corner where Bernard already sits. I bring the bell up high and ring it six times. Children seem to come out of the brickwork and swarm around the reading corner. Some racing to the front and others preferring to sit back.
"What story are you telling today Ms. Calvin?" A girl with no front teeth lisps.
"Today we are reading... where the wild things are!" I drumroll and pull out the hardback.
"That looks scary!" A boy from the back calls out.
"Remember, it's fiction! And fiction means-" I start and they all bellow "fake!"
"The monsters in this book are not real and cannot hurt you! And if they were, I'd be here to protect you!" I flex my arm and the kids erupt into giggles.
"Now we have the main character, his name is max! And he's naughty!" I explain the premise.
I open the book and begin reading.
"The night max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind"
I flip the page. "And another."
Flipping the page "his mother called him wild thing" I say in a sweet voice.
"And max said 'I'll eat you up!" I give a gruff voice.
"So he was sent to bed without eating anything."
"That very night, in max's room, a forest grew." I rustle the potted plants behind me, "and grew- and grew until his ceiling hung with vines and the walls became the world all around."
"And an ocean tumbled by with a private boat just for max and he sailed off through night and day. And in and out of weeks, and almost a year to where the wild things are!"
The kids become enthralled with the story. Some stomp when the wild things do and some make scary faces. The children no longer appear scared and relax into the story. I close the book and set it onto the shelf.
"What story are you reading us tomorrow?!" A girl from the back calls out to me.
"Well I guess you'll have to come here to see!" I taunt jovially.
The group erupt into giggles and sighs of disappointment. They begin to scatter back into the library when the girl with no teeth approaches me.
"Ms.Calvin? Who's your friend?" She points to Bernard.
"This is Bernard! He's from out of state so he's just visiting for the time being." I lie.
"Oh, that makes sense. So can you tell me what book your gonna read next?" She pleads with me.
"Now Gisselle, that wouldn't be fair for the other kids." I ruffle her hair.
"I know." She giggles as she runs off.
"How'd I know her name?" I mumble.
"That's part of being Santa. They're all knowing. Most of the time anyway." Bernard shrugs.
"Oh. That makes sense I suppose. Anyway my shift is over, we better get back to pick up Charlie from the bus station.”
I sling my bag over my shoulder and punch out. I send a goodbye to the head librarian and she nods. Walking the way to Charlie's bus stop I think about what this means for my family. Getting to the stop, we wait about five minutes until Charlie's bus pulls up. I sit on the bench and change my shoes, a new pair appearing in my bag and I slip my platforms into it.
"Why the change?" Bernard asks.
"Charlie likes to be carried. And I can't do that in platforms without risking injury to both of us." I shrug.
The bus doors open and charlie is the first kid off, running to me with open arms.
"(Y/n)!!!" He throws his arms around me.
I pick him up and place him onto my shoulders.
"Bernard! You're here too!" He points.
"Hey sport! I'm here to see how your sibling and dad are doing." Bernard smiles.
"Dad's in denial. I learned the word from Neil." He smiles proudly.
"I'm sure you want to get home before dad gets back, so we better head out." I start walking.
Bernard trails behind us. We soon make it to the house and I unlock the door. Placing Charlie down, he kicks off his shoes and runs to the tv.
"Can we, oh can we watch muppets Christmas carol? Please (y/n)?" He asks with puppet eyes.
"It's not even winter yet, sport." I sit next to him.
"But it's my favorite!" He pleads.
"I can't say no to you, you watch it and I'll start dinner." I kiss his forehead.
I walk into the kitchen and start to prepare supper.
"This a new thing with him?" Bernard nods his head at the movie.
"Oh no! It's been his favorite forever. He watches it all the time." I clarify.
"So your dad. How's his transformation going?" Bernard clasps his hands.
"He's convinced it didn't happen. Even though we both have changed dramatically." I sigh.
"That's ok. You have three more months to get your affairs in order. Then you both will move to the pole." He wrings his hands.
"Like forever? How's that fair to us?" I get up.
"Well someone has to deliver Christmas presents. And your dad is now responsible for Christmas cheer." He holds his hands up.
"He's like the least cheery person I know." I try to explain.
"Well that doesn't matter now." Bernard shrugs.
"How am I supposed to tell him?" I ask.
"Not my job, sorry." He says, proofing into glitter once more.
"This is fucking bullshit!" I set the knife onto the cutting board.
I follow Bernard as he leads me down a long hallway that twists and turns. After a good ten minutes of walking in silence we are met with a large door. He opens the door and we enter a large room.
"You look distressed Santa." Bernard tells me.
"Distressed? I'm way past distressed. Im talking to an elf and I'm apparently the new Santa!" I shake.
"That's not surprising. Most grown-ups can't believe in magic. It just... sort of grows out of them." He shrugs.
"But how can I be Santa?! I thought only men could be Santa!" I ask.
"I'll have to request Curtis to join us to explain that." He says walking out.
He closes the door behind him and I let out a sigh. He was right about one thing, I am soaked. A towel and a set of monogrammed pajamas are laid on the bed. I take off the coat and the pants, folding them and setting them onto a nearby table. I towel dry my hair and pat dry the rest of my body. Once dry, I change into the pajamas and fold my old clothes, setting them next to the jacket. Sitting onto the bed, I run my hands through my hair. My mind is racing. The door opens and Bernard and another elf walk into the room.
"This is Curtis. He's the keeper of the Santa handbook." Bernard introduces his friend.
"And the elf that's second in command!" Curtis says, chest puffed out with pride.
"Yeah, yeah, now tell her." Bernard pushes Curtis toward me.
"According to the Santa handbook, anyone, regardless of gender, will become Santa if they put on the coat and the previous santa is no more. Furthermore, if the santee is not male, their physical change will be different. Their ears will pointen and their canine teeth will sharpen. The closest male figure in their life will become Santa's helper, their hair will whiten, they will grow a beard and they will have significant weight gain. " Curtis reads out, shutting the large book when finished.
"So, let me get this straight. My dad will look like santa, but I'll be Santa." I rub my head.
"Essentially, yes." Curtis nods.
"This is the first ever case that has been documented in elf history." Bernard chimes in.
"Oh, how amazing!" I flip my back onto the bed, hands covering my face.
"I'll be going now!" Curtis scurry's out.
"If it means anything, I'm sorry you were chosen." Bernard sits next to me.
"Chosen?" I ask.
"Every Santa ever has been chosen by the previous santa. He must have seen something in you that you can't." Bernard explains.
"Well that's bullshit!" I exclaim.
"Language! But yes, it may seem unfair." Bernard scolds me.
"I'm sorry," I say sheepishly.
"It's ok. When you wake up you will be back at home. You have eleven months to get it together." Bernard says before proofing into a cloud of glitter.
"What the fuck?" I whisper to myself.
‘This has been one long night’ I think to myself as I drift off into slumber
—————————————————
I wake up the next morning in my own bed. I stretch and groan, standing up and making my way downstairs. I reach the kitchen and pour myself a cup of iced coffee. Charlie then comes racing down the stairs with dad in tow.
"See! Bernard dropped off gifts!" Charlie exclaims.
"The waiter?" Dad asks.
"No! The elf!" Charlie says sorting through presents.
I guess I did put the presents under the tree last night.
"There's one here for you (y/n)!" Charlie calls out.
I come to see what he's talking about and see a present addressed to me from Bernard. I guess that wasn't a dream after all.
I kneel down and undo the ribbon. Opening the box I see a messenger bag. There is also a note. It reads 'this is an endless bag. Whatever you need will be in it and it has unlimited storage. Take care of it- Bernard'
"Ooh!" Charlie reads the note.
I take the note back and bring the box to my room. As I descend the stairs I hear mom talking to dad.
"(Y/n) is the new Santa, mom!" Charlie jumps.
"How can (y/n) be santa? She isn’t a boy." Mom smooths his hair.
"I don't know! Bernard says she's the first one ever!" Charlie says.
"Ok Charlie, you better get to the car. Neil's waiting for you, I'll be there in a moment." Mom ushers him out.
"So, uh, what have you been telling him?" Mom confronts dad.
" Nothing. It's just... I had this really strange dream. And l-- I must have told him all about it." Dad stammers.
I know how to prove to dad that it was real. I rush to the car to see Charlie rolling down the window. Dad follows after me.
"Where did I get the pajamas?" I ask him.
"Bernard gave them to you!" Charlie shakes his hands at me.
"Oh, wait. Wait. Bernard was the name of the waiter at the restaurant last night." Dad remembers.
"Some waiter gave our kid pajamas?" Mom questions.
"What's this all about?" Neil asks Charlie.
"Dad and (y/n) took me to the North Pole, and Larry showed me the workshop!" Charlie says excitedly.
"The North Pole." Neil says flatly.
"Yeah! (Y/n)'s the new Santa! The regular Santa fell off the roof, and they put on the suit." Charlie says exasperated.
"Charlie, we will discuss this at home." Neil says softly.
They drive away and we trudge inside.
"It's just a dream. Stuff like that doesn't happen." Dad says to me.
"Why? Because I'm not a man?" I ask him.
"What? No! Because Santa's not real!" Dad shakes his head.
"Well I guess when you gain weight and I get sharp canines then you'll see." I say climbing the stairs.
He stands baffled at the foot of the stairs. This is just great.
"Does this look like home to you?!" Dad asks furiously.
"This is their home dad!" Charlie says, looking around in awe.
A kid with pointed ears walks out from the woods. He opens up the side of a pole and inputs a number. The ground begins to shake as we descend into the ground.
"What the fu—dge" I stop myself.
We fully descend into what looks like a toy factory. Kids with pointed ears stop what they are doing and stare at us. Some point and some gasp.
"Where are all the grown ups?" Dad asks to no one.
"This is so cool!" Charlie says, his eyes gleaming.
"You two stay here! I'll figure out where we are and what's going on." I say climbing out of the sleigh.
I spot the closest kid and call out to them.
"Hey! Who's in charge here?" I ask walking up to them.
"You are." The girl answers.
"No, who gives the orders? Who's your boss?" I clarify.
"You are." She glares.
"Who's the head elf, then?" I ask, hands on my hips.
"I told you! You are!" She glares daggers at me.
A boy around my age comes up and crosses his arms.
"Hey! Who's causin' all the trouble around here?" He directs to the girl.
"They are." She points at me.
"I was just asking—" I start until the boy cuts me off.
"Are we on a coffee break?"
"We don't drink coffee." The girl answers.
"Well then I guess the break is over! Back to work! Thanks!" He says, hands on his hips.
"Hey take it easy on her, will you?" I huff.
"I'm Bernard. Nice to meet you San- you're not Santa." He stops, looking me over once, confused.
"Of course I'm not, Santa's not real so I couldn't be him." I raise a brow at him.
"The guy with you must be the new Santa then." Bernard crosses his arms.
"I'm not santa either!" I hear dad argue.
"I thought I told you to stay with Charlie. I have this under control." I say with an even temper.
"Whoever put on the suit first is santa, that must be you." Bernard points to dad.
"I didn't touch that suit!" Dad defends.
"So you are Santa?" Bernard questions me.
"No!" I sputter.
"The other Santa disappeared, right?" He starts walking away.
" Wait a minute. Hey, I know where this is goin'. It wasn't my fault. The other guy fell. It was an accident. I've got homeowner's insurance and a good attorney. Not as good as my wife's, but let's not open up that wound. Hold it a minute. Wh-Whoa, whoa, whoa. How did you know the other guy was gone?" Dad follows after him.
I follow after him.
"Can I get you a drink?" Bernard asks.
"I'm hungry and thirsty too!" I feel a tug on my coat sleeve and hear my brothers voice.
"Charlie, I thought I told you to stay in the sleigh." Dad tells him.
"Like you're one to talk." I cross my arms.
"Who's this?" Bernard asks.
"This is my brother, Charlie." I say, side hugging him.
"Hiya sport!" Bernard smiles at him.
"Hey, Dad, he called me 'sport' just like you two!" Charlie beams.
"Hey, you know what. I got somethin' for you." Bernard says pulling a snow globe from his bag.
"Okay, now hold out your hand, all right? Now, be very careful. This is very old, just like me." He carefully hand's Charlie the globe.
"Shake it up Charlie." I urge.
Charlie shakes it gently and Charlie's eyes go wide as the globe changes.
"Why don't you, uh, hold onto it for me for a while. It might come in handy." He smirks.
"Thanks. Thanks a lot. I promise I'll take real good care of it." Charlie nods.
"Make sure you do!" Bernard affirms.
Charlie wanders off to show dad the snow globe.
"Larry, take Charlie and the dad here and get them some chow." Bernard calls out to another kid.
They get escorted to somewhere and I'm left standing alone with Bernard. He gives me a once over and huffs.
"I guess you are Santa." He says.
"Look, I am not Santa!" I rebuttal.
"Did you or did you not read the card?" Bernard asks, annoyed.
"Yeah I read the card." I confirm.
"Then you're the new Santa. In putting on the hat and jacket you accepted the contract." He reiterates.
"The card in the Santa suit. You said you read it, right? So when you put on the suit, you fell subject to the Santa Clause. 'ln putting on this suit and entering the sleigh the wearer waives any and all rights to any previous identity, real or implied, and fully accepts the duties and responsibilities of Santa Claus. in perpetuity until such time that wearer becomes unable to do so by either accident or design.'" He reads off the card.
"That's ridiculous. I put on the suit because I was cold!" I try to explain.
"Try to understand this!" Bernard snaps.
All the kids around us stop and ooh at us.
"Let me explain something to you, okay? Toys have to be delivered. I'm not gonna do it. It's not my job. I'm just an elf. It's Santa's job, but Santa fell off a roof, your roof. You read the card, you put on the suit. That clearly falls under the Santa Clause." Bernard says, annoyed.
"So I'm Santa now?" I question.
"Yes." He breathes.
"But, Santa's supposed to be a guy. And I am not." I try to reason.
Charlie runs towards me with open arms, dad following behind.
"You have got to see this (y/n)!" Charlie gasps.
"You leave tomorrow morning. You have eleven months to get your affairs in order, and you're due back here Thanksgiving." Bernard says demandingly.
"They're not comin' back here on Thanksgiving!" Dad interjects.
"I'll ship the list to your house." Bernard tells me.
"The list?" I question.
"Come on, now. The list." Bernard gestures.
"He's makin a list," he starts.
"Checking it twice!" Charlie chimes in.
"Gonna find out who's naughty and nice!" The rest of the elves chime in.
Bernard's hands cover his face in embarrassment.
"Look, you put a "P" next to the kids who are nice and a "C" next to the naughty ones." He pulls his hands away.
"'P' and 'c'?" I raise my eyebrows.
""P" for present, "C" for coal, right, Bernard?" Charlie asks.
"Right. Now we got to get you out of those clothes. You all look soaked. Judy? Take dad to his room and then take Charlie to his please?" He asks an elf with a pointed hat.
"What do I do?" I ask.
"I'll bring you to your room. We have lots to discuss."
I hear a commotion and rush downstairs. In the door way is dad hissing at mom? Making my way into the living room I see Charlie staring in wonderment at the colored lights adorning the tree, a giant, color changing star sits on the very top. Ornaments we've made over the years are speckled throughout the tree. Charlie and I's faces are framed and hung near the top. That picture was taken the Christmas before the divorce. I remember how all Charlie asked for that Christmas was for the fighting to stop. It's sad when a 4 year old asks to keep their family together. I wrote a letter as 'Santa' to apologize. I wrote that it was out of my hands and that if they were happier apart that you should be happy for them. I remember the downtrodden look he had after reading the letter. I had started work as a librarian rather than go off to college. I had to keep dad afloat. If I wasn't here I don't know what he would have done.
"Why do they always have to fight?" Charlie urged.
"Dad's just playing. You know how he is." I give him a side hug.
I hear the door shut and dad walks into the room.
"Your mother said that you no longer believe in Santa. Is that true?" Dad asks, hand on Charlie's shoulder.
"Santa's for babies!" Charlie shrugs.
"I believe in Santa, and so does dad. Are we babies?" I ask.
"Well, I guess if you believe, I can too. Since you're so smart you'd know what's real and what's not." Charlie smiles up at us.
"That's better! Now how 'bout I make you two the best Christmas dinner you've ever had?" Dad pulls out a cookbook and thumbs through the first few pages for poultry.
"8 hours! If I turn the heat up high, it will cook faster." Dad whispers to himself.
Charlie gives me a knowing look and I stick out my tongue, making him giggle. He pulls me by my sleeve into the living room.
"Let's watch the muppets Christmas carol!" He says, turning on the roku and putting Disney plus on.
"Oooh, you know me too well buddy!" I plop down beside him.
The credits begin to roll when smoke comes billowing out of the kitchen. Through it dad can be seen using a fire extinguisher on the turkey.
"I think dad needs some help." Charlie nudges me.
"Yeah, let's go help him sport." I say getting up and walking to the archway of the kitchen as Charlie follows me and climbs into a chair.
"Need some help?" I lean into the arch.
"Help?! No! Everything's fine!" Dad whips his head to us, moving to block the sight of the burnt turkey.
" That is exactly why you want a high-quality fire extinguisher right in the kitchen." He waves smoke away.
"Those flames were really big, dad!" Charlie flaps his arms.
"Yeah, turkey's funny like that." Dad excuses his idiocy as flames engulf the turkey.
"Dad!" We shout as I point behind him.
He douses the turkey with foam and wipes the sweat from his brow.
"It's done." I joke.
Dad glares lightly and responds "Let's just go out to eat!"
We pile into the car and begin to drive, dad naming off several restaurants then disappointingly sighing at them being closed. We soon come to Denny's. It's probably the only thing open at this time of night on Christmas Eve.
"How about Dennys, sport?" I turn and ask him.
"I don't wanna eat here!" Charlie sticks his tongue out, and shakes his head.
"Well sport, it's the only thing open and I don't think we want another turkey debacle." I say opening the car door and unloading him.
"What are you talkin' about? Everybody likes Denny's." Dad crosses his arms. "It's an American institution!"
"Sure dad." I hold Charlie's hand as we enter the restaurant.
"Are you with Hatsutashi?" The hostess asks.
"No!" Dad starts before Charlie interrupts.
"Dad burnt the turkey!" Charlie says one hand on his hip.
"Oh, yeah. This way. Come on. Right over there." She points to one of the only open booths.
We sit down and two servers walk up.
"Hi, I'm Judy and this is Bernard. I'm training him tonight so he's gonna help out with your table." The lady now identified as Judy explains.
"Coffee?" The man offers.
"Yes please!" I hold up my mug.
"What do you say we start out with cold glasses of delicious seasonal favourite eggnog?" Dad suggests.
"Dad, he's a kid. He doesn't like eggnog." I advise him.
"We're out" the lady snaps.
"Ok then, he'll have chocolate milk." I nod to Charlie.
"Ooh, sorry we're out." The man says sheepishly.
"Plain milk's fine." Charlie sighs.
The woman walks away as the man scrambles after her.
"At least we know they got hot apple pie!" Dad smiles.
"We did!" The lady's calls to him.
His smile drops and we order our food, eat, pay, tip, and load back into the car.
We go back inside and I carry Charlie up into his room, dad following close behind.
Dad busts out the ancient night before Christmas book. He reads about half way through before Charlie interrupts.
"What's that?"
"What's what?" Dad queries.
"A rose suchak ladder?" He sounds out.
"It's arose such a clatter, sport. Arose means it came and clatter is a loud noise. So it means there was a lot of noise." I tuck him in.
"Yes, now, please, go to sleep. Shut your eyes." Dad stands up, not finishing the story.
"How do reindeers fly?" Charlie asks.
"Antlers. You know, ther-- ther-- there's a slipstream effect-- The air go--T-They move fa-- They're weightless." Dad stutters out.
"The only reason they can fly, is 'cuz they think they can fly. Like bees sport." I kiss his forehead.
"That makes sense. Good night dad! Goodnight (y/n)!" Charlie calls out.
We close the door and dad turns to me.
"Thanks for saving me back there (y/n)." Dad pats my back and walks me to my room.
"Anytime dad, anytime." I smile at him.
"Now, don't stay up too late. Charlie is sure to wake us up early in the morning to open presents." Dad warns.
"I know dad," I close the door.
Kneeling down beside my bed, I pull out a tote full of gifts to wrap for Charlie from 'Santa'. I begin wrapping and after three hours all the presents are wrapped. Suddenly I hear something weird. Like someone's walking on the roof. But that would be impossible. I slide the tote back under my bed and focus on the noise coming from above me. A small hand grabs mine and I jump. Turning around I see Charlie with wide eyes.
"I heard a clatter!" He cries.
"Yes, yes I know. You go get dad and I'll go out and check. Don't you worry sport." I ruffle his hair.
He nods and runs off to wake dad. I rush down the stairs and throw on my shoes. Opening the door I run out, nearly falling and busting my ass. Getting outside I see the impossible, someone walking of the roof of the house.
"Hey you!" I yell out.
Suddenly the man falls and plummets from the roof the same moment dad and Charlie arrive outside.
"You got him!" Charlie cheers.
"Stay there!" I call to them, but they don't listen.
"It is santa! You killed him!" Charlie pokes the man.
"They did not!" Dad moves closer.
"And he's not Santa sport" I pull him away.
"Well, he was." He says.
I move forward and reach out towards the man. "Fella, if you can hear me, I'm just lookin' for your identification. Once I figure out who ya are, I'll-- I'll give you a lift back to the mall."
I reach inside his coat pocket and pull out a small business card.
"lf something should happen to me, put on my suit. The reindeer will know what to do." I read out.
"Yeah right." Dad scoffs.
I look back down to check on the man but I find nothing but a pile of clothes.
"He disappeared." I gasp.
"He's naked somewhere!" Dad says like that was an option.
"You gonna put on the suit like the suit said?" Charlie asks me.
"Maybe in a minute sport. It is cold out here." I pat his head.
We turn around to see a ladder suddenly from the pavement to the roof.
Charlie runs up to it.
"It's the ladder!" He gasps.
"What?!" Dad demands.
"The rose suchac ladder company" Charlie reads out. "Like in the poem!"
"In the poem?" Dad shakes his head.
Charlie starts climbing the ladder and is soon on the roof.
"Get down from there Charlie!" Dad calls after him.
"You just gotta see this!" Charlie calls down to us.
Dad climbs after him. I'm freezing my ass off here so I might as well put on these pants. Pulling them on and putting on the matching coat I can feel a strange warmth permeate my very bones. I follow dad onto the roof.
"Hey sport, why don't you step back from them. I don't want you to get sick." I whisk Charlie into the sleigh.
"Easy Rudolph!" Dad shrugs at the reindeer.
"Check out Santa's sleigh!" Charlie calls to dad.
Dad trudges over to us and into the sleigh.
"There's no such thing as Santa's sleigh." Dad places his hands on his hips.
"Sure there is. You said you believed in Santa, right?" I glare at him.
"I did? I do!" He corrects himself.
"What about the reindeer? These are Santa's reindeer, aren't they?" Charlie thinks.
"I hope not." I mutter.
"I hope not. These are, uh, a gift! Probably from the cable company. We're getting the Disney Channel now. Merry Christmas." Dad rattles off.
"Now hop out now!" Dad scolds.
"I don't wanna go!" Charlie pouts.
"Listen, Charlie. I'm not kidding. Let's go!" He yells.
Suddenly the sleigh takes off, dad toppling over into the back bench, upside down. Charlie takes the reins and I help him. The sleigh lands on a roof.
"Now what do we do?" I ask dad and Charlie.
"Get the bag full of toys!" Charlie points to a sack I didn't notice before.
"(Y/n)! Don't you dare!" Dad scolds.
I grab the bag and step out of the sleigh.
"Sorry dad." I say shrugging.
Suddenly I'm rising into the air, being dragged by the bag and I'm sucked down a chimney.
"What the fuck was that?" I ask myself.
"Guess I gotta deliver the gifts." I say gently placing them under the tree.
I hear a growl and turn around to see a Rottweiler baring his teeth at me.
"It's ok! I'm here to deliver presents!" I whisper yell at it.
It whines and turns around, trotting out of the room.
"How the fuck did that work?" I question, getting sucked up back the chimney.
I land back onto the roof. Dads face is shocked and Charlie is delighted.
"How'd it feel?!" Charlie asks.
"Like americas most wanted. Now let's go!" I climb into the sleigh and we take off just to land on a near by house.
"There's no chimney guys!" I tell the reindeer, like a crazy person.
The bag lifts me up anyway and I began to plea with it. Suddenly I am forced down a smoke stack and out a chimney that wasn't there seconds before. I fall onto my ass and stand up rubbing it. I begin to put toys under the tree when I hear a gasp. Turning around I see a little girl.
"Santa?!" She gasps.
"Close, but I'll give it to ya." I grin at her.
"How come your clothes are so baggy?" She tilts her head.
"Because I need to layer up so I'm not cold." I pull out of my ass.
"And how come you've got glasses?"
"Santa's eyes aren't so good." I straighten my back for effect.
"How come you're not a boy?"
"Who said Santa's gotta be a boy?" I gleam.
"You've got to drink the milk!" She points to a cup of milk that's sat out for who knows how long.
"Sorry Sarah, I'm lactose intolerant." I smile softly at her.
"How did you know my name?" She asks.
How did I?
"Because I know everything. And I know you should be asleep by now. So off you go!" I usher her back to the couch.
I walk back into the chimney and get sucked back up.
"How'd you get in without a fireplace?" Charlie bounces.
"Yeah, how did you?" Dad joins in.
"I don't know. One just kinda appeared." I shrug.
"Take us back home guys!" I crack the reins and we become airborne.
After a while we arrive in a small patch of land covered in snow and surrounded by pine trees. What the hell is this place?
(Chapter 13 of two souls entwined in the North Pole)
"What's all this boo-hooing going on here?" Bernard asks, magically coming from somewhere in the kitchen, pita sandwich half eaten in his hand.
"Hey, how ya doin?" He nods to Neal, mouth half full of food.
"It's nothing Bernard. We're just saying goodbye to Charlie." I explain.
"What goodbye? Charlie, you still got the glass ball, right?" He asks, swinging his free arm around my waist.
"Yeah." Charlie nods, brushing tears away.
"Well, all you gotta do is shake it whenever you want to see your dad or sibling." Bernard explains.
"Really?" Charlie asks in awe.
"They can come back to see you anytime of day or night." Bernard reassures.
"Hey, have I ever steered ya wrong?" He asks.
Charlie shakes his head as Neil and Laura approach us.
"Nice sweater. Did we make this?" Bernard asks, trying to check Neil for a tag as he shakes him away.
I chuckle. I don't know if he's genuine or not, either way it's funny. He turns and looks at me with a love struck look. Walking over to me he caresses my face.
"Your laugh is the most mirthful noise I have ever heard in my sixteen hundred and twenty two years of living." He says as I stare into his captivating chestnut eyes.
I snap out of it hearing Neil's distressed voice. Bernard's hand drops from my face to entwined with mine. Turning, I see Neil approaching Laura.
"Laura! They're sucking us into his delusions. Look at the elaborate measures they've taken. " Neil tries to reason.
"Neil, relax." I say.
Stepping into the chimney, Bernard gives me a kiss and poofs into glitter. Dad follows me. Placing a finger on the tip of my nose, we shoot up the chimney. On the roof sits our sleigh and we load into it. From down below on the street we hear voices.
"Chief! Look up there!" I hear a police officer shout.
The voices of children ring out through the quiet night. Hushed whispers of parents are also hears. All of them talking about us.
"Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!" Dad calls out and cracks the reins.
The reindeer take off and we are gone in the blink of an eye, soaring through the black night sky. We place presents under every tree from Illinois to Ohio. Suddenly a light with Charlie's face on it starts rapidly blinking. Pressing on the button beside it, we are teleported to Laura's living room.
"Hey sport!" I call to Charlie.
"Dad! (Y/n)!" He runs to us with his arms open.
"You miss us already? We've been gone, what? Ten minutes." Dad asks checking his watch.
"We were on our way to Cleveland when we got your call, sport." I ruffle his hair.
"Do you wanna go for a quick ride?" Dad asks him.
"Yeah!" Charlie jumps up and down in excitement.
"Of course, it's up to your mom." I chime in.
"Please mom?" He gives her his signature puppy dog eyes.
"Go on. Get outta here." Laura jokes.
"All right. Hold on." I say grabbing ahold of dad as he boops his nose.
Back in the sleigh we continue to deliver all the presents, this time with Charlie with us. Landing back in front of Laura's house, I give Charlie a quick hug.
"Now, I know I'm only a shake away, but I'm gonna be packing for the pole. So if you need me again, just call my cell." I tell Charlie.
"Sport, I love you so much. I couldn't have done this without you." Dad gives him a kiss on the cheek.
We take back off and land on our roof.
"Dad, just fly back without me for now. I've got to pack our things, and a big, green sleigh shouldn't be on our roof in the morning when people wake up." I hug dad goodbye and open up our house.
Going upstairs, I open my room. Taking out my suitcase, I start packing all of my belongings. I had all of my clothes already folded, so this goes by pretty quickly. I go into Charlie's room and pick up his stuffed bear dressed like Santa. I can't help but think, how often will I get to see him. I guess he could always FaceTime me, if there actually is wifi in the pole. I decide to take it with me, a souvenir of my little brother.
"What's wrong snowbird?" I hear a voice I've grown to love ask me.
"Just thinking about Charlie." I say turning around to face Bernard.
"You know, your dad isn't the only one who can teleport." He grins.
"What do you mean?" I ask, quirking my eyebrow.
"Since you're technically the spirit of Christmas, all you gotta do is picture where you are and wiggle your ears, and you'll be there." Bernard swings his arms around my shoulders.
"That would have been nice to know, ya know!" I playfully smack his hand off me.
"I'm sorry!" He feigns a hurt look. "But just to let you know, the rest of the elves can get your stuff. You didn't have to come here."
"I figured, but I wanted to make sure I got my bag and Charlie's bear." I smile down at the bear.
"Well, now that I'm here, I can take that for you." He says taking my suitcase from me.
I grab a hold of his hand and entwine our fingers together.
"Would you like to do the honors of taking us home, snowbird?" Bernard asks, a gentle smile gracing his face.
"I'd love to." I grin back.
Wiggling my ears and thinking of my dad, we appear in the workshop. He's standing in front of all the elves when we appear in front of him. He stops mid sentence and gapes at us.
"Sorry, dad. I'm new to this." I apologize and drag Bernard off the stage and down the hall to my room.
"This is new, but as long as you're here with me, I think I can manage." I say smiling at him.
(Chapter 12 of two souls entwined in the North Pole)
Bernard had finally gotten some time to himself. Pouring himself a cup of bubbling green liquid, he sits at the workshops chemist room. Suddenly, curtis rushes in.
"We've got a problem. Santa was at the Miller's, but he's not responding!" Curtis cries.
"What?!" Bernard jumps out of his seat, nearly shattering his mug in the process.
His soulmate was in danger! He could sense it. What it was, he did not know, but he knew it was bad. Laura had to have something to do with this!
"Do you want us to deploy the e.l.f.s., sir?" Curtis asks, bouncing on his heels.
"Absolutely! I'm coming with them!" Bernard quickly threw on his long coat.
"But sir, you're needed here!" Curtis protests.
"My soulmate is out there! In trouble! As their mate I am required to risk anything and everything to keep them safe! Need I remind you, keeper of the handbook?!" Bernard fights back and Curtis throws his hands up in defense.
"I guess I could take over for you, while you're gone." Curtis suggests.
"As much as I don't want to do that, you'll have to." Bernard rushes off, leaving a concerned Curtis behind.
Rushing to the E.L.F.S department, Bernard curses himself. If only he had gone with,none of this would have happened. If only he didn't agreed to Charlie tagging along, even if he had some good ideas. It was way too risky for him to do. But he couldn't just say no to his soulmates brother.
Making his way to the department, he slams open the door. Several elves jump and one falls out of their seat.
"Santa and the spirit of Christmas are in danger!" Bernard tells them.
"On our way sir!" The head of the department, an elf named Kenny, declares as all of them put on their jet packs.
"I'm coming with you guys." Bernard states, stepping forward slightly.
"If you say so, sir!" Kenny agrees.
Joining hands, they all disappear into a cloud of glitter. They appear on top of Charlie's roof.
As this is happening, a rather different performance is being drawn out in the holding cell with you and Scott.
"Look, I know you're Scott Calvin. You know you're Scott Calvin and (y/n) Calvin. So let's make this simple. I say, names. You say, Scott Calvin and (y/n) Calvin. " The police officer pressures.
"Name?" He asks Scott.
"Kriss Kringle." Scott says smugly.
"Name?" He turns to you.
"Christmas cheer." You protest.
"Name." He forces.
"Spirit of Christmas past, present, and future." You push.
"Name?" He asks for a third time, getting frustrated.
"Okay, Calvins. Maybe a couple of hours in the tank will change your mind." The officer growls and stomps out of the room.
Scott turns to you.
"It'll be ok honey," He smiles sadly.
You nod and blink away stray tears.
Meanwhile Bernard and the E.L.F.S. are preparing to rescue Charlie. They land on Charlie's roof where he is sitting.
"Charlie!" Bernard says to catch his attention.
Charlie turns his head and his eyes light up. Rushing over to Bernard he hugs his leg.
"Oh Bernard! They detained (y/n) and dad! They don't believe he's Santa! They think he kidnapped me!" Charlie sobs.
"Don't worry sport. We're here to rescue them." Bernard pats Charlie's head.
"We can't. The police are watching this place." Charlie looks at him.
"Yeah, they probably are. But you see, we weren't figuring on walking out the front door. We find that we can get around a lot faster if we fly. Now... grab hold of my hand. And hold on tight." Bernard presents his hand and Charlie grabs it.
"And Charlie," Bernard starts.
"Yeah?" Charlie inquires.
"Don't ever try this without elf supervision." He finishes.
I'm a split second they are flying through the air. It takes little time to end up at the police station. Landing, they walk into the station.
"We're looking for Santa Claus." Bernard steps forward.
"Go home, kids. Visiting hours are over." The security guard scoffs.
"We're not kids, and we're not visiting." Bernard presses.
"We're here to bust out my dad." Charlie chimes in.
"You're the Calvin boy. Who-- Who are these other kids?" The security guard stutters.
"We're your worst nightmare. Elves with attitude." Kenny glares.
In a split second the guard is tied to his chair with tinsel, unable to move.
"Shouldn't have had that doughnut. Oh! Untie me! I mean it! Untie—" The guard starts but they walk away.
Finding the holding cell was easy, getting them out might be a bit of a challenge though. Fiddling in his bag, Bernard pulls out an exact copy of the room key.
"Charlie!" "Bernard!" Both you and your dad cry out.
Bernard rushes over to where you are handcuffed to the table and with one touch, the handcuffs break off of you both. Throwing yourself into his arms you sniffle.
"You're really here!" You cry.
"You think I'd let you stay here snowbird?" He caresses your face.
"Never!" You pull him into a quick kiss.
"How'd you distract the guard?" Scott asks.
"Tinsel. Not just for decoration." Kenny places his hands on his hips.
"We gotta get you back sport." You tell Charlie.
He pouts, but eventually nods his head. They all clasp hands and teleport out of the holding cell. Landing at Charlie's house, Charlie opens the door. The ELFS dissipate back to the North Pole leaving Charlie, Scott, and you standing there. You look around for Bernard, but he's nowhere to be found. Sighing you stints the house after Charlie and your dad.
"Mom! Neil! I'm home!" He calls out.
Laura runs in from around the corner and Neil is close behind her. She scoops Charlie into a tight hug.
"Oh! My boy, you're home!" She cries.
"I'm fine, Mom." He says.
"Oh, Charlie. I missed you, honey." She hugs him tighter.
"Mom, I'm fine. It's okay." He reassure her.
"We were so worried about you. Look at you." She gives him a look over.
"Mom, put me down. Stop kissing me!" He pouts.
"We don't have a lot of time Charlie." You say, tapping your imaginary watch.
"Did you leave the gifts I made under the tree?" Charlie asks you.
"You bet we did sport!" You ruffle his hair.
"We better go!" Charlie gets loose from Laura.
"No, Charlie. No, no, no." Your dad stops him.
"No! No, wait, Charlie." Laura calls after him.
"It's ok Laura," You say.
"Actually I- I think its a much better idea" Your dad starts.
"That you stay here with your mom and Neil." You finish.
"But dad, (y/n)!" Charlie pouts.
"No buts, Charlie" dad shushes him.
"We can't be selfish. We can't be with you all the time." You start.
"We're a family. You, me , your mom, your sibling, and Neil." Your dad says.
"And they need to be with you too." You kneel down to him.
"I'll miss you too much." He mopes.
"Come on, listen. There's-- There's a lot of kids out there. Okay? Millions of kids. And they're-- They all-- They all believe in us. They're countin' on us, Charlie. And I-I'm not gonna let them down. We got a lot of work to do." Your dad explains.
"So I can't be selfish either." Charlie says through tears.
"You gave us a wonderful gift, Charlie. Listen, a wonderful gift. You believed in us when nobody else did. You helped make us what we are. Selfish! You're the least selfish person I know." You say, smooshing Charlie into a hug from you and your dad.
"I love you Santa Claus and Christmas spirit!" Charlie sobs out.
"I love you son." Your dad validate his emotions.
"I love you Charlie!" You confirm.
Charlie sobs and your dad gently shushes him. You turn to Laura.
"Yea what do you think? Christmas Eve you spend with Charlie?" You suggest.
"Oh my god!" She says in a hushed whisper, covering her mouth with her hands.
"It's you! It really is you!you really are... Santa Claus and the spirit of Christmas!" She smiles.
"Pretty cool, huh?" Your dad asks rhetorically.
"Oh, my God." Neil sighs.
"And you though I'd never amount to anything." You joke.
Standing up, you both ready yourselves for delivering gifts.
"Wait, don't go yet. I have something for you." Laura says, quickly running out of the room
"Scott." Neil says plainly.
"Neil." He nods back.
Neil steps forward and his eye widen.
"Santa?" He asks, childlike wonder dripping off of his voice.
"It’s ok Neil." Your dad reassures.
Neil steps away, turning around and placing his hands on his head in disbelief. Laura comes walking in with a folder in her hand.
"Here. It's... well it's... it's my Christmas present for you. It's the custody papers." She says setting the folder in the roaring fireplace.
"And I want you two to see Charlie as often as you can." She says softly while picking up Charlie.
