Sirius Black landed in Godric’s Hollow and got off of his motorcycle him and James Potter enchanted so it would fly. The motorcycle had a small side-car for a certain new addition to the family.
He felt his knees tremble, he was barely standing. “It’s probably not true”, he thought to himself. “This is James, he would never leave me.” He was trying so hard to lie to himself but he knew it, he felt it before he got the news. His first instinct was to go see it for himself. He didn’t exactly know where the house was, he was just looking around, he walked a little bit more on the avenue, he turned his head to the right, the house was crumbling. “No curse does that” he said to himself, his lips had started trembling, so it was true, it was true Potters were dead.
Sirius gathered all the courage he had left in his body and walked to the door, it was open. As he climbed the few steps, he started seeing a tall man lying on the entrance. “James?” His heart was giving in to the weight of pain that seared through him. His best friend, the man who saved him from himself, lifeless. His hazel eyes were still open behind his glasses. Sirius slowly removed his glasses and closed James’ eyes, he put the glasses back on. He wanted to die. He felt this pain before, when Regulus died he felt it, when Marlene was killed he felt like he lost his mind but this, this was different. He didn’t want to go upstairs but he had to, he barely got up when he heard some noises from upstairs, he took his wand out. There was a very large man, he lowered his wand at the sight of him. “Hagrid?” said Sirius.
Giant replied with a shock, “Black? Wha’ are yeh doin’ here?”, he had his guards up.
“I– I had to come Hagrid. I– I just– I don’t know. Why are you here?” said Sirius, tears were falling down his face. Just behind him, his best friend was lying on the floor. While Sirius was drifting away, Hagrid replied with a hidden pride in his voice,
“I’m here on Dumbledore’s orders, Black. Yeh shouldn’ be here.”.
Sirius was feeling anger build up in himself, he never was good at hiding his anger, with trembling hands he shouted “WHAT ORDERS? HE COULDN’T PROTECT THEM! HOW CAN THERE BE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO?” He didn’t know why he blamed Dumbledore even though he knew it was all his fault, he wanted to keep on shouting, he didn’t give a damn if all Godric’s Hollow heard.
Hagrid took a deep breath, he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone anything, Dumbledore made him swear but the desperation in Sirius’ voice pushed him to talk: “He’s alive Sirius, Harry I mean. He made it, little fella. Just a small scar on his forehead.”
Sirius didn’t believe it. He couldn’t have made it, there must have been a mistake. “What do you mean Harry’s alive, Hagrid?”, just as he finished his sentence Hagrid lowered himself and showed Sirius a sleeping Harry, looking peaceful with a scar shaped like lightning on his forehead, unaware of everything that unfolded around him an hour ago.
“Give him to me! I am his legal guardian.” said Sirius, his outstretched hands were still trembling. He wanted to have Harry, he could raise him, Remus would help him. Thinking of Remus, where was he? Had he heard?
Just as he was thinking about this he heard a familiar voice: “Sirius? Hagrid? What’s– What’s going on?”, Remus already knew, he just needed to hear someone else say it. He heard Sirius’ shouting and knew where to go and he didn’t needed anyone to tell him, James was lying on the floor right in front of him. His knees gave away, he fell to the floor right next to James. He wanted to shout but only a whisper came out “No”. He leapt to his feet so fast, Sirius didn’t have time to think.
Remus pushed Sirius up against the closest wall: “How could you? How could you sell them out and come back to their house? HOW COULD YOU SIRIUS? I WILL KILL YOU–”
Sirius put his hands up but didn’t stop the first punch that hit his face, he was guilty and he knew it, it was his fault James and Lily died. He licked the blood off of his lips and pleaded “Remus please listen. We changed the Secret Keeper. I thought– I thought he’d come after me and never think about Peter, I think he– he ratted them out. Remus I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault.” Remus wouldn’t have believed him if he didn’t hear the desperation and grief in Sirius’ voice, he was a good liar but he could never lie to Remus.
Remus had a blank look in his eyes. His best friends, two of the few people who loved him and their beautiful son, gone. He had to go see Lily. He was trembling from head to toe, the wolf in him was howling with pain, his family, gone. Although his pain was ripping through him even harder than it did during his transformations, he built up the strength to go hug Sirius, it wasn’t his fault, he needed to know that.
Sirius was falling apart in Remus’ arms as he lifted his head up and said “Harry’s alive” with barely a whisper. Remus tried to go upstairs, Sirius caught up with him: “Hagrid has him, Dumbledore’s orders.” Remus replied with an unsure voice “I– I need to see Lily, Pads” Sirius wanted to go with him, the red haired girl, always so full of life… he had see for himself. Sirius needed to make sure Hagrid didn’t leave “Hagrid, please give us a few minutes, please don’t leave without a chance to say goodbye to Harry”. Sirius’ general stubbornness was lost, he didn’t have a purpose to be stubborn.
As they made their way to Harry’s room, Remus held Sirius’ hand, they needed each other now more than ever. The door was ajar, Remus pushed it and he couldn’t help it, his eyes were burning, he couldn’t hold it in any longer. Lily’s green eyes were open, too. Her tears were still wet on her face, Sirius wiped them away and Remus closed her eyes. The strongest girl they knew, gone in a heartbeat. Remus was holding Lily’s pale hand in his, saying “I am sorry” over and over again. Sirius pulled Remus up, they made their way down stairs. Remus had something on his mind.
When they reached where James’ body was, without a warning Remus pulled out his wand and pointed it at Hagrid: “Give Harry to Sirius right this second Hagrid, I don’t want to hurt you.” Sirius was in complete shock. The calm, the rational Remus had his wand out, threatening an innocent man. He had never seen Moony so angry before but then again, this was desperation.
“Yeh forge’ that I’m half-giant, Lupin” said Hagrid, he was protecting Harry in case Remus did something.
“And you forget that I’m a werewolf Hagrid. Oh, don’t look so surprised, I know you know. A man like you wouldn’t have missed the signs.” said Lupin, his voice was extremely calm.
“I don’ take him for the heck of it, yeh know. Dumbledore’s orders.” said Hagrid impatiently Sirius Black hesitated for a second but pulled out his wand, too.
“I’m his legal guardian, I am his bloody godfather Hagrid. I don’t give a damn what Dumbledore plans on doing, as long as I live no one else but us will raise him.” said Sirius, his voice was trembling but he didn’t care. He didn’t care for Dumbledore one bit, who was he going to give him to anyway? And it hit him, Lily’s good for nothing sister and her husband.
“You either give Harry to us or we take him from you. You know what we are capable of Hagrid, don’t make it harder for us, I really don’t want to hurt you.” His voice was still calm, he was keeping himself together because he knew Sirius was about to lose it, he had to stay strong for him and Harry.
Sirius pulled himself together. “Hagrid, I am begging you, Dumbledore’s going to give him to Lily’s sister, Muggles! They can’t protect him Hagrid, I’ll do whatever you want me to, I’ll take the blame. Please don’t take him away, too” Sirius’ wand was up but if it came down to it, he couldn’t have done anything. “Remus and I will raise him” He looked at Remus, Sirius knew he was barely holding on, too.
Hagrid talked after a long silence: “I have to take him, Black. I can’t give Harry to yeh”
Remus sounded like he gave in, “At least, let us say goodbye.” Sirius just gaped at Remus, how could he give up so easily? Then he saw the familiar spark in Remus’ eyes, he had an idea.
They left the house, Sirius looked at James one last time, his hair was still as messy as can be, he looked peaceful.
Hagrid lowered himself so that Sirius and Remus could see Harry, he wasn’t gonna let them hold him, he knew better. What he didn’t know was the moment he let them see Harry, Sirius would cast a protection charm around Harry to keep him from harm, he was prepared for whatever the hell Remus planned on doing. Remus shot out a stunning spell, he knew it wouldn’t knock Hagrid out but would give them a chance to grab Harry and run, he didn’t think the aftermath but followed after Sirius with Harry in his arms. The wretched bike of Sirius was just around the corner, the risks they took were too much but it was worth it. If they had Harry, it was all worth it.
Remus looked at the wreck Potters once called home one last time. They never left each other behind, they had to leave James behind.. James never left him behind. The pain was unbearable, all of his being was aching but he promised to Lily and James at that moment that he would keep on living for Harry.
Sirius turned around to check on Remus and Harry, he could tell Remus was thinking the same thing. That precious little boy in Moony’s arms were all they had left from Lily and James Potter. He felt sorry for Hagrid but his love for Harry James Potter was stronger than his respect for Dumbledore or anyone else for that matter.
They were bound to get a visit from Dumbledore wherever they went and they didn’t have much choice, so they ended up in Grimmauld Place,12. Sirius hated the place but it was his. Besides Remus and him cleaned the place pretty well, it was almost liveable until they found a better place to raise a child.
Remus went up to Sirius’ room, his legs were trembling but he made it to the room and laid Harry on the bed. Remus lied on the left side of the bed, Sirius lied on the right side, they had Harry right in between them, he wasn’t sleeping anymore, he was tugging at Sirius’ hair. Sirius was trying not to cry while looking at Harry’s pitch black messy hair and green eyes. Remus, on the other hand, had let it go, tears were streaming down his face. They played a little bit with Harry, he fell asleep half an hour later holding Remus’s pinky finger in his incredibly small hands.
Remus’ amber eyes met Sirius’ grey ones. Both of their eyelashes were wet with tears they couldn’t hold back, they didn’t sleep at all that night, they couldn’t have even if they wanted to. They watched Harry all night. Sirius noticed how he threw his right arm behind his head while he slept, exactly the way James did. He swore he would get Peter, he never said a word to Remus.
Remus was more focused on Harry’s breathing. He was alive, it was all that mattered now. He lost two best friends in one night, he was not going to lose the last thing that reminded him of them. He swore he would get Peter when the time came, he never said a word to Sirius.
