note on interactions: i kiiinda donât make starter calls anymore! tbh the best way to thread with me is thru continuing asks.. sometimes i rb memes that i solely use as starter calls, but if thereâs ever an ask reply that you (the mutual reading this, close friend or not!) find has thread potential, i heavily encourage you to reply!
  five years. the name has been conjured into sound after five years of radio silence, but she hasnât forgotten; not his name, his face, his sword, his silence, his silence.Â
  the images rise with a migraine, and the hopeful stare of his parents feels like a stab to the chest, reopening her scar. she gathers what she knows: it has been over six years since they last heard of him. she met him five years ago. they didnât know of his last mission, then. she doesnât want it to be a secretâ if it was up to her, she would have the world know what went on that day, she would tell everything she knows, hoping to get answers back. but it wasnât.
  cloud. she couldnât risk itâ not yet, not like this.
  he didnât know a thing, as dreaded and expected, but aerith⊠tifa couldnât decipher what laid in her trailed-off sentence, the stutter of her hurried steps as she left the house. not long after, she leaves, too, regretful of not offering the mercy of the little information she could provide. she tries to calm her breathing before she looks for aerith, fearful of both outcomes: either she was truly the only one who knew him or she wasnât.Â
  at her question, she sees the way aerith fidgets, delays, breaks eye contact, and she knows, somehow, that there is something there. something lurking, spreading her voice thin. â...you too, huh?â but it sounds regretful, as though ever crossing paths with him was a mistake. she believes so.Â
  aerith talks, and she nods along, trying to gather all she can from the little she lets on. âwas he⊠your friend?â she pauses, well aware she may be overstepping, prodding at her clear inhibitions. âi-iâm sorry, i donât mean to pry, but i⊠youâre the only one i can talk to about it. youâre⊠the only one that might understand.â what it meant to know zack, and now, the threat his being poses for cloud, if it was revealed fully. but, tifa could only unravel that after gauging what aerith knows, and, to equal importance, how she feels. and so, she takes it slow, treading carefully and swallowing her own discomfort.  @whiitemateriaâ + cont.
this was it â they stood at the precipice of the world's end. meteor swarmed overhead, sephiroth awaited them at the planets core, countless lives have been lost along the way... and yet, where one would expect trepidation and fear? cloud found peace. there was something so freeing about only having two possible outcomes. either they made it, or they didn't. but it was this that mattered, being able to stand face to face with the possible destruction of all and still having it in him to say no, to refuse to accept it, knowing that he would fight no matter what.
it took him too long to see it, to really get it... but cloud? he wanted to live. he wanted to protect those he cared so much for, to one day pay back all the love and sacrifices made for him that got him to where he was now.
he was cloud strife. he wasn't a great mercenary. he was never SOLDIER. he'd never been that great of a person, really, if you asked him. he'd always just been... himself.
and that was enough.
this time? he does not hesitate to hold her hand. long past was the time of his pride and shame holding him back - the eyes that look into tifa's? gratitude incarnate. maybe they never really knew each other before life threw them on these train tracks, strangers to both themselves and each other...
but cloud wouldn't change a thing now.
"thank you. for everything. for never giving up on me."
best read while listening to "together" by nine inch nails /jk
 unprompted.  ⥠ * always accepting ! @vctlan.
   premonitionsâvague hunches they wereâhad never denied her, even if she postponed their acknowledgement. but today, sitting here, the air shy from lukewarm and the night sky star-littered, she feels a stab of mortification like a thrill that courses old pathways within her: she canât imagine the end, whichever outcome that may be, and from it stems a numbness she could have mistaken for peace in any other situation.Â
   everything, even herself, feels up in the air, the same way the highwind looms over. placid. waiting.
   tifa wonders how she doesnât gasp or retch or sob as her body struggles to contain the paradoxical truth. that, as it stands, they are as alive as they are dead. she holds the feeling against herself, keeping it there, beating; this is life. this is proof that she has come this far, that the memories were worth it, that the stars are watching how hard they have fought, and will still. itâs the most fear she has ever felt, and sheâs glad she survived to be able to.Â
   above all, sheâs glad cloud is here. if some donât return, if none of them do, she thinks she can bear anything having him beside, holding onto the hand that reaches for hers. she feels every bit of herself gather at the touch, half-afraid she is imagining it. no⊠gone is the time of mirages. his gratitude is true and his own and it holds her in place, thinking, there isnât a world where heâs worth giving up on.
   his words set her free, somehow. their simplicity and earnestness. the steady hold of his gaze and the sureness of his grasp. it fits into the broad scheme of her consciousness like a tessellate, safekept to invoke before the final battle along the images of her family, nibelheim and its townsfolk, aerith, their crew, all the people she met in her time at sector 7 or her travels. a constellation.
   â...itâs because you never stopped fighting your way back.â to us. to me. itâs not hiding if she knows he gets her meaning by now. itâs tucked, too, in the creasing of her eyes, a smile forming. âafter all that has happened⊠thereâs still fight in you. it... makes me give it my all, too. i should thank you for that, leader.â another tifa might have figured her sigh would be a prelude to tears. instead, she chuckles, a small, brief sound to accompany her attempt at lightheartedness.Â
  another hand rises to cup the one she holds, placing it atop his. her breathing is different now. quiet. her mind oscillates between reality and dream. hope, perhaps. â...weâll be okay.âÂ
  against the beginning and end, in whatever order they may come.
ââprompts:
1) things you said at 1 am
2) things you said through your teeth
3) things you said too quietly
4) things you said over the phone
5) things you didnât say at all
6) things you said under the stars and in the grass
7) things you said while we were driving
8) things you said when you were crying
9) things you said when I was crying
10) things you said that made me feel like shit
11) things you said when you were drunk
12) things you said when you thought I was asleep
13) things you said at the kitchen table
14)things you said after you kissed me
15) things you said with too many miles between us
16) things you said with no space between us
17) things you said that I wish you hadnât
18) things you said when you were scared
19) things you said when we were the happiest we ever were
20) things you said that I wasnât meant to hear
21) things you said when we were on top of the world
22) things you said after it was over
23) things you said on the streetcar at 1 am
24) things you said with clenched fists
25) things you said in the back seat of a cab
26) things you said sitting still
27) things you said on the phone at 4 am
28) things you said but not out loud
29) things you said in the backyard at night
30) things you said on the highway
31) things you said while I cried in your arms
32) things you said I wouldnât understand
33) things you said at the back of the theatre
34) things you said in your sleep
35) things you said that made me feel real
36) things you said youâll never forget
37) things you said with the tv on mute
38)things you said while holding my handâ
39) things you said when we first met
40) things you said when you met my parents
41) things you said you loved about me
42) things you said when you asked me to marry you
43) things you said in our vows
44) things you said before you kissed me
45) things you said on new yearâs eve
46) things you said when you kissed me goodnight
47) things you said in a hotel room
48) things you said on our honeymoon
49) things you said when we were 18
50) things you said when we were 70
51) things you said as we danced in our socks
52) things you said with my lips on your neck
53) things you said in the dark
54) things you always meant to say but never got the chance
55) things you said under your breath
56) things you said in the spur of the moment
57) things you said when no one else was around
58) things you were afraid to say
59) things you said after we fell in love
60) things you said [make your own]â
â
the ones with single quotes arenât mine, but the rest are. great story and fic prompts
reblog if you want your followers to send you a number and pairing to write a fic about
@mournsyouââââ + starter call ( always accepting ! ): you don't trust me ? Â Â Â đ hey Mari what if he comes back to midgar and zack thinks fight with sephiroth was the other day rather 4 years ago and they talk again after all that what what
  before she knew better, tifa thought zack died. twice. at the reactor, where his helping hand was turned away and he faced sephiroth on his own. in time, sephiroth had been pronounced dead, but no word was spared about zack. then, at the station. she had knelt far enough to inspect them both, the blood-soaked wetness of zackâs shirt, the twitching ends of cloudâs fingers. impossibly, they were still alive. she went out of her way to vouch for them both in the face of barret and marleâs suspicionâ she stills at the thought. so, thatâs where he got the idea from. trust. even if she wouldnât deposit blame in its entierty upon his shoulders, to speak of trust after all that was hidden...
 her gratitude for bringing cloud with himself is only that, a stunted thank you that begins and ends with the body still unconscious.
  âzack...â i did trust you, once. a thought like digging around the dirt, bare-handed. âi believe youâve cut ties with them.â a workaround the core of his question, but it is answer enough. for now. her gaze wonders around the closed bar, emptied. âbefore... you couldnât tell me a thing of what was going on with the reactor, with sephiroth. even then, i understood why, butââ her eyes, their complex red, finally come to meet his, ânow, thereâs no reason to keep me in the dark anymore.â
...oof. tifaâs scar and physical rehabilitation. letâs talk about it :)
  veeery very grateful traces of two pasts touches upon this at length because itâs such a landmark in tifaâs life, both emotionally and physically. iâm not a medical expert by any means so iâm glad for it GJGF. iâm taking the specifics of it and the rehabilitation to add to my og verse; note that this post is, again, only limited to the injury and rehabilitation. iâll make a post about tifaâs life post-discharge from the clinic sometime later so this wonât be too cluttered.
  anywayâ the novel describes the scar as running underneath her left collarbone down and across towards the bottom of her right breast, which... means that itâd be quite visible with any cleavage, even if the transplanted issue they used faded into a closer match to her skin. i think her discomfort from showing it would stem from the utterly unpleasant memory rather than any self-consciousness of how it looked aesthetically. it may not look too nasty after it has healed and faded, but it is a lengthy scar on quite a vital body location, so... any stares and questions, even if not outright asked, would give her too much discomfort. this is why i favor the âexoticâ (whyâd they have to call it that....) dress over the other optionsâ itâs not about modesty, itâs about the scar. Â
  below are some excerpts of specifics iâm incorporating:
ON THE INJURY.Â
  The injury crushed a piece of [her] sternum, but didnât puncture any of [her] lungs or internal organs. [They] replaced the missing bone with synthetic grafts, and right now itâs being reinforced with metal wire. This wire will stay on for the rest of [her] life. On the early stages of healing, [her] chest needed to be kept secured in place so she was made to wear a corset which was loosened over time. Â
  The transplanted tissues take about three to four years to assimilate with [her] natural skin. The cause of the pain outside [her] chest is due to this transplant; itâs just like a burn, but it goes away in time. The color should also begin to look more like [her] surrounding skin.Â
ON THE REHABILITATION.
  After the major surgeries performed on her and spending a month unconscoius, she has to carry out methods for regaining muscle strength that wonât cause more strain on her injuries. She was to work on grip strength, walking and running ability, and stretching, all for about half a month.
The conditions to discharge her were as follows:
  1. The skin fusion must progress to level 3 or higher.
  2. Regain muscle strength to allow for minimal daily activities.
  3. Pay for all the medical expenses and hospitalization (LOL...... the amount is not explicitly mentioned but it is described as absurd.)
ON THE RELOCATION.
  âAt the first hospital, they finished treatment on your sternum, but your condition remained unstable. The doctor from Corel recommended you to be transferred to either Midgar or Junon because the hospitals there would have the medical equipment ready. They even got approval from Shinra Headquartersâ Science Division, but Master Zangan objected. After some heated discussions, you came [to a sector 8 clinic].â
If I tell you to shut up and your answer is âMake meâ I WILL punch you in the teeth because I have no time for this pseudo sexual tension youâre imagining between us.
@vctlan + starter call ( always accepting ! ):Â what kind of person does this make me ? â biggs
  she has carried the question like a burden before she even properly joined the cause. looking upwards, a fist pressing down in the form of a plate, the surrounding neon green glares that reminds them just how comfortable they all have gotten. if they were to take them away, living would be harder. and thatâs the problem. the dependence, even at the expense of the planet. by this point, a life without shinra would be no life at allâ sheâd swallowed down the vile under her tongue each time she overheard someone speak that mistaken notion, the idea of shinra intertwined with giving when all they do, at their core, is take. foreign villages fared just fine without them, and those with reactors⊠in one too many cases, the promise of innovation turned into a death wish.
  tifa sees herself in the tension of his shoulders, the constant searching, fixing, feeling. biggsâ mind was never stillâ it couldnât afford to. â...not anyone worse than them, i wanna believe.â she says, leaning into the polished wood counter. her gloves strain with the strength of her fisting hand. âi guess weâll always be the bad guys, successful mission or not.â the clipped smile matches the dryness of her humor, but the turmoil isnât any less visible for it. almost inaudibly, she sighs. â...youâre overthinking again, biggs. thought i made the drink hard enough,â her chuckle comes easier now, if a little weak. ânow youâre making me think, too. and... iâm curiousâ what kind of person were you before?â
âYou wonât⊠you wonât leave me, too, will you?â
hi (sorry) again. for cloud <: â @kuhato
Dissonance rings deep in his bones, when had he become so hollow? Were it not for the weight of his thoughts, the ache in his chest, at times it was hard to believe he really was here with herâŠ
"Tifa." Her name is a plea, a desperate non-answer, a stall as he tries to get his words in order, and for a moment his eyes bore into hers, a complicated expression etching itself into a face most often found frowning. Uncertainty, betrayal, confusion, and guilt, fading in and out of the other, bringing forth what he couldn't admit to himself, admit to her:
He didn't know. He didn't want to leave her, but at times it felt like he should; like it would be the last kindness he could offer her, that she deserved the peace his absence would bring⊠that him being here, looking back at her, was its own hurt.
At times, it was hard to believe he was the Cloud she remembered, hard to believe he had ever earned her care and trust, but so much of her words had been used to fill the voids in his mind, patch over memories he couldn't find...
Who would he be without her? Who would remember him when everything about their past was burned to the ground, leaving only charred wood and crumbling walls? Their families, the townspeople, the forests they'd once used to wander, the water tower⊠Without Tifa, could he ever prove that those memories were real? That he'd once been that same spiteful but hopeful backwater bastard set on proving the world it was wrong about him?
That was what had made him stay, made him hold on even through the uncertainty, through the way her expression fell once he told his side of the story.
⊠Was it really that far of a stretch to believe she would feel the same way?
Cloud's gaze falls for a moment, suddenly ashamed by his own hesitation, certain for sure he had just proved his own doubts about himself right, but as he stares at her boots his eyes catch sight of her hand -- he wants to reach out, to hold it, to offer some sort of comfortâŠ
He doesn't. Instead, his own hands clench and he raises his head, staring up at the darkness of the night. No stars to be seen, still hidden behind Shinra's light pollution.
"I won't." A false promise, but it is one he wants to believe in so badly. "Wherever I go, I want you there with me. You're all I have left⊠of home, of who I was." Of who he wanted to be. "Tifa IâŠ" Here, he finally meets her eyes again, and his expression resolved into one of guilt, of fear, a glimpse of the unsure kid he'd once been before the world took its toll on them both. "I don't want to lose you again - I failed you once, I can't do it again."
