Kupo, Private Eye

[stitchthisfiona]

Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later

[cleolinda]

[cleolinda]

[adhoption]

this is good because I get these in my own head all the time and sometimes post them (here)

[wingsofantiva]

[starpeace]

i love pitting classically trained magic users against self-taught magic users in sci-fi/fantasy but it shouldn’t be snobbish disdain for them it should be terror

[starpeace]

“WHO TAUGHT YOU LIGHTNING BEFORE BASIC TELEKINESIS. LOSING MY MIND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU JUST DID IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAST WITH YOUR BARE HANDS”

[elidyce]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU’VE ‘HACKED’ MANA DRAIN

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘DRINK SOME JUICE’

WHAT IS ‘LOW BLOOD SUGAR’

WHY IS THIS WORKING

I HATE YOU SO MUCH

[superjustaguyblog]

Okay but other direction can ALSO be a lot of fun

“What do you mean I don’t have to burn half my blood to create a fireball?”

“Why can you teleport more than once without vomiting? WTF is ‘quantum displacement awareness’???”

“You know HOW many spells? HOW? ... What do you mean ‘my spell book’?”

“Ooooh, you’re just summoning water portions from the Plane of Water... Lol I thought I HAD to combine hydrogen and oxygen molecules to generate water in small amounts. That’s so much easier then what I was doing!”

[anachronistic-cat]

Tags via @mia7437

[boomalope-pope]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[real-centricide-twitter-posts]

[kushblazer666]

[quasi-normalcy]

Conversation that Tumblr is not ready for:

A Vampire's fangs are also it's reproductive organs

[autumngracy]

I scrolled past that before realizing op was being literal and not just making some kind of weird joke

[plateauofmemories]

Oh please, "the penetration of the vampire's bite as metaphor for sexual penetration" is like, horny classic vampire symbolism 101 🙄 Taking this to the next level of "vampire bite as literal reproductive penetration" is a conversation Tumblr is thoroughly and uniquely prepared for and one that we will all severely regret very shortly

[gothiccharmschool]

Oh, I’m ready to be a spectator for this conversation. I’m ready. 

[dee-the-red-witch]

So, when a vampire doesn’t want to become a vaddy, they use a set of these, right?

[saint-batrick]

SIR.

[figuring-it-all-out]

Spooky season is closer than you think.

[dashingprince]

Hello white mutuals. Before you is a charcuterie board with 15 different types of cheese. If you manage to go 12 hours without touching the cheeses you can leave this room. Good luck.

[fuckysuckybrigade]

I was eating off this cool cheese plate while you were talking can you repeat that pls

[brucebocchi]

back on tumblr now that twitter’s gone to shit? here’s some important changes you should know

[redkrypto-deactivated20211128]

i’m screaming

[emiliusthegreat]

I don’t think this woman is straight anymore.

[striikee]

Yall are missing the best fucking part

[idrathergoforgirls]

This is my new favourite post on tumblr, bye

[ruinedchildhood]

[doomreturn]

WITCHES' SABBATH Part 1

Illustrations by Jack Wilson

[wilwheaton]

what a beautiful love story

[guerrillatech]

[dudeblade]

[sheogayrath]

it all began when i was the only girl who could not do the cup song.

[sheogayrath]

[saywhat-politics]

[brainfriedintn]

Happy 4th!