Figuring It All Out: My Genderfluid Life

Cinders | Genderfluid | 30 | Prefer they/them as a default | Just here figuring out my gender and life overall.

[figuring-it-all-out]

Hi! I'm unsure if I'm non-binary or genderfluid.

I don't like being called a "woman" (I'm AFAB and have female anatomy) because I'm not just a woman. I identify with certain aspects of femininity, but I like "acting like a man" (actually more like the songs "Boyfriend" by Dove Cameron and like the guy described in the song "Tears" by Sabrina Carpenter)

I've seen descriptions that say being gender fluid means feeling one gender at one time and another at another... But I feel completely mixed up. There isn't a specific day when I feel like only one gender.

I was looking for outside feedback to see if I can discover or explore myself further. Thank you for your attention!

Xx

Hi! I'll try to give insight as best as I can.

When it comes to labels like "genderfluid," what's important is if you feel like the label represents you. Matching the definition of the label 100% is not what you need to do to use it. If you see the word "genderfluid" and you feel like it represents you as a person in some way, then it's totally valid to use it.

It's also okay to explore labels and try on different ones to see what's a better fit. There are also polygender identities (bigender, trigender, etc.) which means you are more than one gender at any given time. But it's not my place to tell you how to identify, only you can do that. Just trust your instincts and go with what feels right!

Hope this helps!

[figuring-it-all-out]

heya!! I'm writing a story including a genderfluid character and I want to write about experiences they have exploring their gender with friends/family etc.

I'm sure it varies a lot between people, but are there any particularly common "rites of passage" that genderfluid people might do, that I could include? (idk how to explain it sorry T_T) For example, bracelets in different colours for different sets of pronouns, and so on.

not sure if that's something you can answer but thank you anyway!!

Hmmm. I've known some people to do the bracelets thing but not everyone, for example I don't do it. I've got two answers, one is a little more philosophical the other is more basic.

One thing I did when I first accepted I was genderfluid was overcompensate for the gender I was NOT assigned at birth. For example, I was assigned male at birth (AMAB) and am very comfortable in my masculinity. So when I first started presenting feminine I leaned heavily into hyperfemininity, and tried separating my interests into, "I like this as a girl," vs, "I like this as a boy," vs, "I like this as an enby." But since then I've personally realized that's not how it works, that I'm still me and everything is all mixed together and I don't need to be super performatively feminine to be valid when I am a girl. And I've known some other genderfluid people to go through the same thing.

Most genderfluid people (and actually most trans people I know) have a natural appreciation for any shapeshifting characters in fiction. (Odo from DS9, Charlie from Legends of Tomorrow, Mystique from X-Men, Double Trouble from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Alex Fierro from Magnus Chase, Camilo from Encanto, etc.)

That's kind of all I've got, but if any other genderfluid folks want to jump in the comments and leave suggestions go for it!

[figuring-it-all-out]

hi!! i'm sorry if this maybe isn't your wheelhouse, but do you know anything about how one would engage in hormone therapy as a genderfluid individual? i know that taking both estrogen and testosterone has little to no effect because both are naturally produced, but do you think one would be able to alternate between taking them to achieve desired effects? again, sorry if this isn't your wheelhouse!!!

—🪷🦢

No need for sorry. I'm not on hormones so I'm not sure, but I've never heard of alternating between testosterone and estrogen. I have heard of taking low doses of hormones though. I have a nonbinary friend who was assigned male at birth and they take low dose estrogen, so maybe that's an option for you.

But maybe some other folks will have advice. If you do, feel free to leave a comment on this post for anon. Hope that helps!

[dailyswiftgifs]

[leapdayeveryday]

[tiggersmoke]

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

she could fold him like a fuckin cardboard cutout

[serenadeformice-deactivated2025]

powerscaling is a pretty asinine activity EXCEPT specifically in the case of sailor moon because the answer to “could X beat sailor moon in a fight” is no absolutely not without exception. the kinds of things usagi does in the latter parts of the series genuinely feel like infinity+1 schoolyard play. it rules.

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

there’s a famous thread on an old forum for power scaling discussions where the argument is conclusively made from textual evidence that not only does usagi beat the god emperor of mankind from 40K, she has powers that either correspond to & surpass or completely counter every single one of his canon abilities. she is simply number 1

[byjove]

Heterosexual relationship culture is so alien to me and I don’t know if it’s the fact I’m not cishet or the fact I’m autistic but I hear so many things that make me go “Am I insane or are they?”

There’s a lot of hate on widowers and I saw a woman say “You cannot compete with a dead woman.” which is perhaps a reasonable statement to say if he’s constantly comparing you to his dead partner but that wasn’t what the post was about. And I realized “Oh my God, these people genuinely feel like they’re constantly in competition with their spouse’s exes and the ex being dead makes them feel insecure that they cannot best her.”

There’s also been an uptick in the ‘men and women cannot be ‘just’ friends’ rhetoric which I feel like is extremely dangerous and reflects the rise of fascism and sexism. Some of these stories of women feeling threatened by their husband’s female best friend have some merit and others are like “I feel angry that my husband still talks to the girl he grew up next door to and she and her wife are invited to family gatherings and included in family photos sometimes. Am I right to be suspicious?” No. No you’re not. I cannot imagine being you and living with that high level of stress and paranoia and constant torment and jealousy about your husband having a positive relationship with anyone who isn’t you.

[covington-shenanigans]

okay look i know this isn't relevant to this post past the second paragraph but. here's the thing. the facts of the case are as follows:

1) I am widowed. my Beloved Wife of Blessed Memory(tm) died in 2019

2) I got together with my current partner about 18 months later

3) when I am committing acts of Foolishness my current partner loves to gesture at the sky to my dead wife, like "do you see this shit, my liege" and regularly says to me things like "[wife's name] was right about this" when my Foolishness inevitably comes back to bite me in the ass

4) this happens. all the time

more importantly:

5) my current partner is on tumblr

6) they love to incessantly send me posts

WHICH MEANS:

7) they just sent me this post with this commentary:

8) they really, really are ganging up on me with her. god help us if there's an afterlife and those two ever actually meet. "eternal rest" my ass, i will never know peace again

[leapdayeveryday]

Manny Jacinto should be Barry Allen. That is all.

[fuckyeahcomicsbaby]

Different Stories Resonate with Different People

[lovingmyselfishard]

I will always reblog this.

[brightwanderer]

I once spent three hours scouring the internet to find this comic again, I will not let that be repeated.

[sofea-00]

[im-perfectly-unique]

These are fantastic!

[tuttle-did-it]

Will Ferrell: ‘If the Trans Community Is a Threat to You, Then It Stems From Not Being Confident or Safe With Yourself’

Will Ferrell: ‘If the Trans Community Is a Threat to You, Then It Stems From Not Being Confident or Safe With Yourself’

Will Ferrell says people who are threatened by the trans community do not feel safe or confident in themselves.

“There is hatred out there,” Ferrell told The Independent. “It’s very real and it’s very unsafe for trans people in certain situations. … But I don’t know why trans people are meant to be threatening to me as a cis male. I don’t know why Harper is threatening to me.” 

“It’s so strange to me, because Harper is finally… her,” he added. “She’s finally who she was always meant to be. Whether or not you can ultimately wrap your head around that, why would you care if somebody’s happy? Why is that threatening to you? If the trans community is a threat to you, I think it stems from not being confident or safe with yourself.”

[tuttle-did-it]

STOP THE PRESSES LADS.

a rich cis het white man has figured it out.

All jokes aside, lads, Will Ferrell HAS figured it out. If you haven't seen the documentary he made with Harper Steele, I do recommend it. One of his closest friends, Harper Steele, came out as trans into their 30 year friendship. They took a road trip together, no questions barred between them, so that he could 1) try to understand something (transgender identities) that he hadn't given a lot of thought before, 2) get to know his friend Harper all over again-- who she really was, what she had held back, etc.

Accept and love people for who they are. Doesn't matter what clothes they wear, what pronouns they use. If you really love someone, you will want them to be happy. This is seriously, literally all you have to do. This is it.

It really is this fucking easy, cis het people. We're not a threat to anyone except maybe your own insecurities-- which has nothing to do with us.

[tuttle-did-it]

He did! I posted it for several reasons.

1) I have seen no chatter about this and his comments here, and it’s been almost a year. Look at the RBs— at least half of them are like ‘wait what?? I don’t know he was an ally. Go Will, I’m going to go watch Will & Harper.’

2) I just like the things he said in these articles . I thought they were very fair, eloquent and kind without being condescending or cruel to anyone. Gentle kindness goes a long way.

3) I rewatched Will & Harper and felt like acknowledging the doc and Will. And it’s actually a really good doc that very few people have even heard of.

4) it feels like every day, there’s some celebrity who’s spoken out against us and/or withdrawn their support for the trans/enby/agender/intersex community. Every day, there’s some news story about a new law or proposed law or just people being arseholes that further criminalise and demonise us. I just wanted kind words on people’s dash.

Especially with all the legal fuckery against us. I have lost 3 friends to JKR’s TRF crusade and it’s is important to me that trans/enby/intersex people just see a tiniest flash of hope on their timelines.

[leapdayeveryday]

I've been reading a lot of different Green Arrow and Black Canary stuff, and I know this is a long shot but I think she'd be a PERFECT Black Canary in the new DCU.

Persephone Valentine would kill it. Just saying.

[holy-leapin-splits-batman]

[ranaeley]

Obligatory truck I don’t trust reblog

[violetsyrenart]

Colored an old sketch

[coffeestainedx]

David Bowie - Interview - Afternoon plus - 1979  [x]

[chaos--themralds]

Not much has changed in the way people treat bisexuality smh

[reaperfromtheabyss]

“are you bisexual” “yes” “i’m not sure i understand” “I’m bisexual” “what do you mean” “ThAT I AM BISEXUAL”

[samreich]

am i doing the memes right yet

[its-your-mind]

katie was counting on brennen lee mulligan’s rage being what got her pitch views, but she was clearly not considering the sheer potential that rested within aabria iyengar’s unprecedented ability to run a one-woman guerilla marketing campaign

[quiddie]

Temporarily breaking kayfabe here just to say that I hope the lesson here is that whimsy is *way* more powerful than people give it credit for. It’s been genuinely so much fun watching people get in on the bit.

This isn’t about the win (because who knows if Tumblr even counts?! That was never the point!) and just about sharing the foundational conceit of Game Changer: once you figure out the game, how hard can you play it? And for a couple incredibly silly days, we all get to play together. 💙

Anyway, stan #Blarmy and I’ll see you in the cars!