i’m climbing back into that world to write this one my phone, but a few seconds ago i stepped out of my bed to grab my water bottle, after a whole evening of planning and dreaming of a future in my head, talking about it with many people, looking at inspirations and examples,
and the sole of my foot touched the cold floor and suddenly i was a body again. a human under a blanket in a room under stars, and i touched my lips to the warmth of the flesh of my knee and i thought about how long it had been since i felt physically presently human. (since the days i studied outside in the sun i think) i’ve been in my head ever since.
and i wondered about if what it i put my phone down for days, and only lived with books, no studies because they make the time pass in a haze of nerves too. would time slow down and would i be a philosopher? would the narrating voice in my head quiet after a while? would i be a body again, or would i be a dreamer still?
i long to be only a body…
