they don't love me like u

[kylcs-blog]

colin-rhodes:

     He glances at the balled up paper, clicking his own pen. “Just bullshit it,” He replies with a shrug, biting the tip of the pen. Colin wants to say getting drunk rarely solves anything, but nothing makes much sense these days. Getting wasted may actually be the answer. “That seems kind of fucked up,” Colin finally says. “People need to grieve and shit, throwing a party seems like the least sensitive thing to do.”

“That’s what I’ve been doing for the past week. Thank god for being on the honor roll.” Right now, it was all her education was good for. Where previously she put everything into her school work, now it seemed so pointless on the grander scale. “What if I say it’s a celebration for my survival? Or call it a wake for those who we’ve lost? Does that make it sound any better for you?” 

[kylcs-blog]

corduroy19:

“I don’t think drinking will help anything,” Heather scolds, “It’s especially not okay to… host a party.” She sniffs and rubs her nose, scrunching her brows. “This isn’t something to celebrate.”

“I beg to differ. I’m pretty sure having a gun at my head and someone not pulling the trigger is something so celebrate.” Her eyes rolled. 

[kylcs-blog]

dreightyeight:

“You know what makes forgetting things even easier? Getting sky high.” 

“i get paranoid when i’m high. that option’s out the window when i’m sane, let alone like this. any other ideas?”

[kylcs-blog]

ncvach:

          nevaeh knew kyle was having a rough time lately, to say the least. but when she walked into her best friend’s room just in time to see her smash her mirror with her own first — that definitely caught her off guard. “ SHIT — ” was all nevaeh could get out before rushing over to kyle, cradling her bleeding arm as gently as she possibly could, not even caring about the blood that was now dripping down onto her own clothes. “ ky, what the HELL, ” she stated, though it was said with care, because she wasn’t angry; she was worried. “ here, hold this — ” she instructed, grabbing a random towel, pressing it against the many cuts on her arm, trying her best to stop the bleeding. “ we have to get you to a hospital — ” she continued, not even stopping for a second to breathe.

“please - DON’T touch me.” pulling her arm away from the other her body continued to shake uncontrollably, crimson dripped onto the marbled tiles beneath her DISTRESSED body. however, soon she eased, now not so opposed to her closest friend from helping her. kyle mindlessly followed necvaeh’s instructions, but she didn’t care about the damage it’d cause her, whether she’d pass out from blood loss or sit there for hours while everyone around her babysat her TRYING to make her feel better. if only it was that easy. “i’m NOT going to a hospital.” kyle knew she needed help - but grief counselling wasn’t enough. she wanted something numbing. MEDICALLY numbing. “i just - it won’t leave my head. it’s EVERYWHERE.” she wept out of solemn this time opposed to anger as before. “there’s a first aid box in that cupboard over there.” she pointed. 

[kylcs-blog]

park--ava:

      Ava jumped at the sound of the pen landing. Normally, this would have prompted her to yell at her. She picked up the pen, looked at her, and raised her eyebrows. “Trust me, getting drunk is the last thing to do when the town is practically in shock about last week. Alcohol is a depressant, so you won’t feel better anyways. Exercise, write a short poem or story, do anything else that can get you mind off of things,” she suggested while noting her own hypocrisy. “Just take some deep breaths, Kyle.”

“God - you sound just like everyone else.” Kyle groaned. It’d only been a week - but it had been a week of discomfort, fear, anger. Every time her eyes shut it was like the gun was pressed up against her forehead once again, she could almost feel the coldness of the metal. “None of that shit fucking helps!” She shouted, instantly regretting her outburst. “I’m sorry.” Her head shook, her voice smaller than before. “You’re only trying to help. I’m just really fucked up right now.”

[kylcs-blog]

ofprices:

“you could’ve thrown one? though i’m not too sure how— appropriate that would be,” he shrugged. lord knows a good party probably would’ve helped.

“it’s so fucking appropriate. i mean - there isn’t much difference between a wake and a party. both are excuses to get drunk and forget the misery in the world.” her monotone voice replied, her eyes staring down at her paper.

[kylcs-blog]

minajeo:

“  how is throwing stuff going to help anyone ?? well you need to find something else to do. i mean you could give drawing a try or maybe music. i’ve heard that could help too. ” she suggested in hope it might benefit her friend.

”helps my aggression - however whether it makes me more angry or lessens it is still pretty much unknown.” she mindlessly mumbled. “you don’t think i’ve tried that already? i’m just coming out with blanks.” she huffed. 

[kylcs-blog]

@ncvach

the images in her mind wouldn’t stop. the gun was pressed up against her forehead; tears rolled down her red-flushed cheeks; her body shook in a confused fear - shock even. this was meant to be the end of her - as much as she wanted to fight against him, but she wasn’t stupid. a bullet through the head would be painless. quick. “put the gun down.” an unfamiliar voice called causing the dark haired girl to jump, her forehead rubbing up against the weapon. this was the end - or at least the end of what she could remember - the last of what had resurfaced. the doctors said it was her brain’s way of blocking out the bad stuff. then why was she still haunted by what plagued her? every time she closed her eyes the scene replayed. maybe dying would’ve been easier for her. “i can’t do this anymore!” tears rolled down her reddened cheeks in a way that mirrored the shooting. her fist flew towards her mirror, shattering it like a spider’s web on impact. blood trickled down her arm from the cuts that graced her previously perfect skin. her exterior now was beginning to match the damage inside. 

[kylcs-blog]

“my therapist is telling me to write my feelings down. you wanna know what i got so far? not a single fucking thing...” kyle threw down the pen, scrunching the paper in her hands. “it’s like my head won’t make the damn connection to my hand. i just need to get drunk - i’m surprised no one’s took advantage of this and hosted a party.”

[kylcs-blog]

so i don’t wanna do completely sad kyle, so if anyone wants to do anything sad/related to her ptsd hmu !!

[dualipagifs]

[dualipasource]

[somebodytodiefor]

[kylcs-blog]

hey lovies! i was waiting until i switched faceclaims until i wrote my intro! below is some info on kyle and if you want to plot leave a like and i’ll get to you asap!

- kyle was adopted by an american family when she was two, leading to her moving from albania leading her to move to sterling. her moms are incredibly loving and her family is lit and she’s spoiled af but like she’s still a cool bean.

- growing up she was always that girl climbing trees, she never seemed to be inside and adored everything about the outdoors. whether it was bird watching or digging for bugs in the garden she was down for it.

- now she’s more reserved, but is still a very bubbly child at heart and loves the outdoors still no matter the season. however now, she’s all for school, education is incredibly important to her. she’s apart of the school paper and puts hours into it but she’s also very invested in music too.

- she adores to be happy to people, her worst nightmare is honestly people hating her. she just tries to make most people happy. even samuel, anytime she saw him whether it was late at night and they were both in the front yard or in the earliest of hours in the morning there’d always be some sort of communication. she considered him a friend. to this day she has no clue why he almost shot her, a part of the reason her ptsd is so bad is due to the lack of closure.

- personality wise she’s sarcastic, witty and loving as fuckk!!! but she’s v real and will be harsh if she has to but she has sm luvv to give y’all you don’t even know!!!

[overdueasteroid-blog]

                                          i survived…                                                        …but i paid for it

[k-ayo]

[princesconsuela]