The pause between his response and her answer was somewhat long. He shifted his weight from one leg to another, feeling the numbness of too much time with weight focused on one place. Why was she bothering to attempt to analyze him so deeply? He was certain that there was much more in the way of more entertaining riddles. Was there really that much charm in an unyielding enigma? Cyrus certainly found no appeal in it if it could not be solved by mathematics or reasoning – two things that human nature denied.
Unfortunately, that included himself in the matter. This bothersome flux of feeling of late had left him doubting himself over and over again. It all linked back to one person, one single soul, and it had brought out such nasty, petty things. He kept himself as reposed as he could, fighting the urge to click his tongue against the roof of his mouth in distaste. Distaste for what, really? More for himself than for her, perhaps? For his loss of control? For his allowance to slip?
The sound of glass breaking came to his ears, and though it was only imagined he still flinched internally. Why had he allowed that explosion? Why could he not reign it in like he had so many times before? Even now, thinking on it, stirred the anger buried inside him again, giving him the powerful urge to lash out at something with his fists.
“Just to see the lake?” The speaking voice of the woman snapped him back to reality and away from his self-loathing. So long as there was speaking, there was a distraction from thinking – a very welcome thing.
…That had to be why he stood in place so long. So he wouldn’t think any longer about her or the lake Pokémon or the brand new world free of pain.
He was surprised by how interesting her words were this time – how correct. Yes, nature carried a draw. For Cyrus, it was the draw of simplicity and of emotional painlessness. Nature could not inflict those small damages upon one’s soul, the ones that linger and poison the mind. Only humans could do that the only damages that nature could give were those to the body, and those, those could be avoided with caution and the use of intelligence.
“Funny how people and nature can be alike, isn’t it?”
His breathing stopped, the same as his heart. For a moment, the woman sounded like the person he wanted to avoid the thought of. Beyond that, she had compared humans and nature. No! No, they were nothing alike, not even in the slightest. Humans fought tooth and nail and wounded one another for petty reasons, nature only wounded because you, one person, was but an ant. Nature did not notice your suffering nor did it care, humans noticed and continued striking. Humans balled their fists up and kept throwing punch after punch after punch and wore down the feeling, the soul, and the mind. IT was will only that gave the opportunity to survive. And that, too, could be broken.
He exhaled, his breath feeling stale and leaving a pain deep in his chest. He hardened his eyes again, moved one slightly shaking hand to grasp the other one. The beat lasted a bit too long, creating an awkward tension – it was best to break it all now. “My name is Cyrus.” He broke eye contact again, glancing over his shoulder at the lake. She had looked at it before, and it had given her a softer tone. “You seem to wish to return to the waterside.” It was a casual, somewhat halfhearted note of where her gaze had fallen moments ago, but it was the only thing he had. He knew now she would follow – he knew he had shown just a flash of emotion when she had spoken on humans and nature being serious and that would be enough to entice her. Turning away, he strode to the shore of the lake, stopping and then backing up two paces when he felt the water lap at the tip of his shoe.
“I must disagree with you. Human beings and nature can cause harm to the body, yes, but they do so in different ways and different intentions. Humans act consciously, nature acts without knowledge of the other. Humans make decisions, nature is indiscriminant. Say, for example, a human chooses to lay a hand on another. Nature does not choose to drown somebody – their own foolish actions drag them down.”
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