"And what's that supposed to mean?!"
"Honey, I’m saying this as someone who cares about you: you’ve got a stick up your ass."
occasionally subtle

#extradirty
Mike Driver
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Claire Keane
Keni

⁂
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

★
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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DEAR READER

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Andulka
One Nice Bug Per Day
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

tannertan36
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@lacedinshadow
"And what's that supposed to mean?!"
"Honey, I’m saying this as someone who cares about you: you’ve got a stick up your ass."
and what of Grimsley, then? care to tell us about him~?
She shrugged. “Not much to tell.”
"I can make him moan like a girl, though."
could you name a few potential partners whose asses need de-sticked?
"Ha. Well. Let me warn you prior, just because their asses need de-sticking doesn’t mean I’d volunteer to do it."
She began to count off on her fingers.
"Cyrus, Archer, Ghetsis, Giovanni, Proton, Clair, Lance—though his stick is a subtle one—hm… there’s this one grunt I knew back in the Rockets that had an entire branch shoved up there, I’m sure…"
She shrugged one shoulder. “That’s all that come to mind right now, but I’m sure there are plenty more that I haven’t met yet.”
do you think you could get Lysandre to fall for your fiery wiles?
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Perhaps. I don’t have a current desire to, however, which throws a wrench in any plans of seduction you may desire me to enact.”
is there anyone you know who would benefit from one of your lovemaking sessions?
"Probably everyone. I’m pretty good at getting sticks out of people’s asses.
…Well. And in them.”
what's your take on sexy lingerie on your partner?
"I love having things to tear off."
and now for something completely different
Queer the Pitch || Karen & Chester [Backstory]
"No way I’m wearing the uniform! It’s itchy- too itchy…”
There was a lump in Chester’s throat then, rapidly approaching his mouth and soon the grunt was in a vacated stall, emptying the contents of his stomach. On his knees, head halfway in the toilet, hands gripping the bowl tightly and to top it all off, chunks of what he ate that morning stuck to his bottom lip.
Pathetic, really. Throwing up was the worst part about drinking. There were ways around it, but how Chester drank― how much Chester drank, avoiding it was out of the question.
I’ve always hated this part―
Read More
Absolutely disgusting.
How weak he must be to lose track of his consumption, how weak he must be to bring himself to this point in the first place.
Of course, she loathed his intoxication because she had been there a trace few times, and she loathed it those times too--it was just much easier to admit hatred towards someone else than towards oneself.
Alcohol was freeing for a while, she would admit, but all too quickly did it break down the walls of its drinker's thoughts, letting carefully ignored secrets spill through their mouth as easily as a river through a weak dam.
She wasn't sure which she found more appalling: his vomiting or hers. Being drunk always left her with bitterness on her tongue and in her heart, her eyes red and her arms covered in red marks from her own nails. She wouldn't feel their sting until the next morning, she wouldn't display them like she did the marks that others gave her in throes of passion.
She was lucky, she supposed, that she could hold her liquor fairly well. Not so lucky that that didn't keep her from losing control, crumpled on the floor of a bathroom stall, wishing she had someone to hold her hair back.
Although, the few occasions she did have someone for that particular task, she'd avoid them like the plague for weeks afterwards.
She found that alcohol tended to reduce people to their primary trait, and she hated how she felt nothing but vulnerable.
"Who... are you? I think I’d… Remember someone like you.”
She replied with a saccharine smile. "I'll give you three guesses. If you get it right, I'll only give you one black eye after we're done. Wrong, and you can say goodbye to ever having children. Either way, you get my hands on you, so it's really a win-win, wouldn't you say?" Her eyes flashed with vicious glee before fading back to extreme distaste.
"We're going to a Silph Co. conference, since you've probably forgotten. Reporting back with whatever the hell's being shown off there, and you are not going to fuck it up for me, understand?" She crossed her arms. "You can handle a slideshow as long as you can stand straight without pissing yourself, I'm sure. Now let's go, the later we show up, the more conspicuous it is."
Winter Winery || Grimsley & Karen
Grimsley hardly had time to think for a plan of action before the stranger had caught him off guard, yet again. It didn’t usually take him too long to woo in a lady. This lady, however, was not the average person. Not that he minded, though. It gave him assurance that the particular night, unlike many other nights, would be far from boring. He chuckled as she spoke, though still wasn’t quite able to figure her out. She was surprising, that was for sure. So, he didn’t question it. He simply kept moving forward, his scarf lightly trailing in the air behind the duo. He cleared his throat.
"Poor you, indeed. Stuck out here in the cold, with a devious stranger. Some might call you crazy,” he spoke, a smile parting his lips, “I would call you daring. Though, since I have committed the same actions, I guess we could both be considered daring, hm?”
Their words hung in the air, breath visible against the chilled night sky. He looked to the female out of the corner of his eyes, really taking in the features of her face. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been a bit …distracted, from her facial features earlier. There was something almost mystifying about her. Beyond her pretty little face and mysterious impression, Grimsley could catch a glimpse of something more. What it was, he didn’t know. But her longed to find out.
Being lost in thought, Grimsley almost toned out on the stranger’s words. He quickly snapped his mind back to focus, his eyebrows raising upward in question.
"Fending off unwanted suitors, you say? I guess since I haven’t come across any poison myself, am I to assume I’m safe from that?" Grimsley grinned. It was a cocky grin, with a hint of excitement. He opened his mouth to speak, until she took him by surprise. Again.
As she spoke, the distance between their bodies begun to close. It was an action to be appreciated, of course. It was awfully cold, after all. And what better way to warm up than to share body heat? Grimsley almost laughed at the thought. He pushed the silly excuses to the back of his head. There was no need for them any longer. He practically purred at the touch, curious as to how this would end up.
The curiosity was short lived.
He cursed under his breath as the stranger disappeared from his grasp, helpless as she landed into the icy depths of a puddle.
"Are you alright?" it was a dumb question, one asked upon impulse. He offered a hand, though she seemed to have already taken care of it herself. Grimsley silently cursed himself for being so careless, almost instantly stripping off his coat, and draping it around the woman’s shoulders.
"My apologies, I should have been watching." he sighed, cupping her hands in his own, "You should get inside. My hotel is a few blocks down, and you’re welcome to come there. Unless, of course, you had another place in mind."
Karen accepted the coat graciously; while it wouldn't make her any drier, it would at least protect her from the wind.
"You should have been watching?" she laughed, though her laughter was rattled by her shivering. "Please, I can't hold you responsible for my own carelessness, that would simply be cruel."
"My hotel is a few blocks down, and you’re welcome to come there."
Karen opened her mouth but didn't immediately reply, as her eyebrow had raised and her lids had lowered just a tad and the corner of her mouth pulled upwards in a smirk.
Oh yes, her mind was wandering, despite even the chill that pierced her skin. She always loved simple wordplay, intended or not, subtle or as painfully obvious as the effects the current cold was having on certain parts of her body.
Once pulling her mind out of the gutter, she finally found words. "A hotel would be lovely," she said, "Even better if you've got a bath."
It turned out that he had even better.
His hotel was, indeed, a few blocks away. Karen did her best to remain dignified and refrain from shivering to death, and her companion did his best to help with a warming arm--though every so often Karen swore he cast a worried glance toward his coat. Though, she had to admit she wasn't all that surprised that a man as well-groomed as he was a bit superficial.
Karen had been to quite a few swanky hotels in her day, most of them on Team Rocket's dime, but this place had to rank somewhere in the top ten of fancy.
I snagged quite a catch, huh? she thought as she took in the marble tiling and vaulted ceilings and chandeliers. It's probably his treat to himself, she continued as he escorted her to the elevators, I doubt he could--
"Penthouse, please," he said to the elevator operator.
...Oh.
It had a view, it had plush carpeting, it had a goddamn piano, it had literally everything.
Her companion kept her on task, and brought her to the bathroom.
"A jacuzzi, huh? Boy, I could get used to this." She grinned and stepped out of her shoes as he turned on the water.
And he didn't leave, even after the tub was full.
"What kind of woman do you think I am? I'd appreciate my privacy, mister."
As he left the room, she began to slip out of her clothes.
"--Oh. And no peeking."
Hotel Grand Lake || Karen & Cyrus
The pause between his response and her answer was somewhat long. He shifted his weight from one leg to another, feeling the numbness of too much time with weight focused on one place. Why was she bothering to attempt to analyze him so deeply? He was certain that there was much more in the way of more entertaining riddles. Was there really that much charm in an unyielding enigma? Cyrus certainly found no appeal in it if it could not be solved by mathematics or reasoning – two things that human nature denied.
Unfortunately, that included himself in the matter. This bothersome flux of feeling of late had left him doubting himself over and over again. It all linked back to one person, one single soul, and it had brought out such nasty, petty things. He kept himself as reposed as he could, fighting the urge to click his tongue against the roof of his mouth in distaste. Distaste for what, really? More for himself than for her, perhaps? For his loss of control? For his allowance to slip?
The sound of glass breaking came to his ears, and though it was only imagined he still flinched internally. Why had he allowed that explosion? Why could he not reign it in like he had so many times before? Even now, thinking on it, stirred the anger buried inside him again, giving him the powerful urge to lash out at something with his fists.
“Just to see the lake?” The speaking voice of the woman snapped him back to reality and away from his self-loathing. So long as there was speaking, there was a distraction from thinking – a very welcome thing.
…That had to be why he stood in place so long. So he wouldn’t think any longer about her or the lake Pokémon or the brand new world free of pain.
He was surprised by how interesting her words were this time – how correct. Yes, nature carried a draw. For Cyrus, it was the draw of simplicity and of emotional painlessness. Nature could not inflict those small damages upon one’s soul, the ones that linger and poison the mind. Only humans could do that the only damages that nature could give were those to the body, and those, those could be avoided with caution and the use of intelligence.
“Funny how people and nature can be alike, isn’t it?”
His breathing stopped, the same as his heart. For a moment, the woman sounded like the person he wanted to avoid the thought of. Beyond that, she had compared humans and nature. No! No, they were nothing alike, not even in the slightest. Humans fought tooth and nail and wounded one another for petty reasons, nature only wounded because you, one person, was but an ant. Nature did not notice your suffering nor did it care, humans noticed and continued striking. Humans balled their fists up and kept throwing punch after punch after punch and wore down the feeling, the soul, and the mind. IT was will only that gave the opportunity to survive. And that, too, could be broken.
He exhaled, his breath feeling stale and leaving a pain deep in his chest. He hardened his eyes again, moved one slightly shaking hand to grasp the other one. The beat lasted a bit too long, creating an awkward tension – it was best to break it all now. “My name is Cyrus.” He broke eye contact again, glancing over his shoulder at the lake. She had looked at it before, and it had given her a softer tone. “You seem to wish to return to the waterside.” It was a casual, somewhat halfhearted note of where her gaze had fallen moments ago, but it was the only thing he had. He knew now she would follow – he knew he had shown just a flash of emotion when she had spoken on humans and nature being serious and that would be enough to entice her. Turning away, he strode to the shore of the lake, stopping and then backing up two paces when he felt the water lap at the tip of his shoe.
“I must disagree with you. Human beings and nature can cause harm to the body, yes, but they do so in different ways and different intentions. Humans act consciously, nature acts without knowledge of the other. Humans make decisions, nature is indiscriminant. Say, for example, a human chooses to lay a hand on another. Nature does not choose to drown somebody – their own foolish actions drag them down.”
There.
It wasn't much, but she hadn't asked for much; all she needed was a little give, and he gave it to her.
She got his name, but that was useless. She did, however, find it curious that he had decided that she had sought to return to the water. She figured he was merely projecting his own desires on her, so she quietly followed him as he walked, leaving pay for her drink on the bar.
Karen remembered him frowning in the long pause that had passed before he gave her his name. Though, this wasn't a mere downturn of mouth corners in order to indicate his annoyance at her prodding; it was a frown caused by something more complex, something more deeply rooted, something that had long swam beneath the surface of his thoughts, and oh, he surely must have dreaded the moments when it would rear its head and disturbed the eerie calm.
Of course he wouldn't open his flood gates to her, but... well, perhaps she could sneak a peek into the depths.
She followed as he walked along the shore, briefly matching her footsteps to the prints his shoes left in the sand, before lifting her head to focus on the landscape around her.
Forests always made her nostalgic. Perhaps because she grew up among them, how she found solace and escape beneath their branches. It was strange, how as a young girl, she sought the trees to quiet the wrath of her flames--at least, that was what happened in the days when she did seek to calm herself down. The older she grew, the better a weapon her anger became.
She stopped when he did, though she stood near enough that the lake's waves lapped at her feet.
"Nature does not choose to drown somebody – their own foolish actions drag them down.”
He liked to paint with black and white, it seemed. She wasn't surprised.
"Is it foolish if someone doesn't know any better?" she replied. "Perhaps you or I might find it foolish for a child to desire to play with fire, but would the child think it so?" She crossed her arms and gazed across the lake's vast expanses. "Anyone who has learned to swim has feared the water at some point. You speak as though you've never gotten your feet wet.
"You're right about nature, though. How it's helpless in its decisions. It can defeat or be defeated and neither are its will. What a wonder it would be to meet someone like that, hm? Nature wants nothing more to survive. You've got to admit, we've all at least got that in common, right?"
is there anyone in team rocket you like more than the others???
[gonna go ahead and answer this as teen!karen bc otherwise you’d get nothing]
"Everyone is an asshole or an idiot or both. Blue-haired boss creeps me the fuck out. Red-haired boss is hot but unobtainable. Green-haired boss is a shithead, but he has his moments."
"…"
"Purple-haired boss is okay, I guess."
Of all the Gym Leaders in Kanto and Johto, who has the best booty?
"What, you think I have nothing better to do all day than to catalog people’s asses?"
Do you find any of the Elite Four members (past and present) dateable? Who's the most attractive?
"All of them are wonderfully dateable. Doesn’t mean I’d date them, though. As for the second part of that question, I’m afraid I know better than to pick favorites, especially from among my peers."
I didn't realize you and Will had gotten together, Karen. This is surprising.
".................................................................................................."
l-amour-de-mes-roses said: "Well if it isn’t Will’s glamorous’s sweetheart. Pleasured to make your acquaintance milady, the name’s Lucian"
"What did you just call me?"