the empire of gold  (  the daevabad trilogy book 3 )  part 2 -  s. a. chakraborty
change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying / part one found here.
tw ; Â death , war , Â violence
âyou are an exceedingly frustrating person to talk to.â
âshe scared me, and I am not a woman who frightens easily.â
âitâs supposed to be the mark of a wise leader, right? the willingness to make sacrifices for a greater good? but nobody ever asks those âsacrificesâ if theyâre willingâ they get no say in whether or not their kids die for some supposed greater good.â
âwe die, and we bleed, and itâs a debt that the powerful never repay. I donât want to be part of that.â
âI have made my loyalty clear.â
âI find I can get a more accurate measure of a man when heâs not aware heâs being appraised.â
âyou have a very long way to go to earn my trust.â
âiâm not tossing away (nameâs) legacy. iâm completing it.â
âit feels like youâre keeping all these secrets, like you still donât trust me.â
âoh, (name). what have you done?â
âyou court death with far too much persistence.â
âI do not wish to leave. I am very content here with you.â
âI want you dead and I want your city destroyed.â
âthe ___ do not deserve your loyalty. no one in the world does.â
âthey are poisoned. they are infected. and you are the disease.â
âI need to go. there is no other way.â
âI wonât lose you. not again.â
âyou and I are not the worst of our ancestors. they donât own us. they donât own our heritage.â
âitâs a shame you hate politics. youâd be a very good queen.â
âdo you want me to stop?â
âitâs like youâre in a competition with yourself over picking the worst time to say something.â
âlook me in the eye and tell me the truth. you promised no more lies.â
âif saving ___ had meant likely killing me, would you have done it?â
âso you plan to mock me as I bleed to death? that sounds like terrible bedside manner.â
âdonât be stupid or reckless or proud. give her what she wants and come back to me.â
âpromise me. promise me youâll come back.â
âiâm not here to stop you. everything in my blood screams at me to, but I know I canât.â
âthere is nothing I wouldnât give for you.â
âI am so sorry for the words I spoke before, but I wonât burden you with my regrets or my grief.â
âI was starting to believe in you, in all these things youâve been saying about a new ___ and equality for my people.â
âyou made me think it might be possible. that if I ever went home, itâd be as some kind of hero, and maybe all the other things Iâve done wouldnât matter.â
âiâm helping you. the right fucking thing to do and all that.â
âthereâs no helping me. iâm not getting out of this. all youâll do is get yourself killed.â
âI didnât ask your permission. and Iâm not doing this for you.â
â(name) said you were coming in peace. the face you are making does not indicate peace.â
âdo you not understand? you have lost. save yourself and what is left of your people before their blood is on your hands.â
âyouâve gone too far, and Iâm trying to bring you back!â
âyou keep doing that. making that face like Iâm an enemy you have to guard yourself against. iâm not.â
âyouâre not the only one whose had to pretend to be different. whose had to smile politely when people with power insult the parts of you that you never get to wear openly.â
âI wish you had trusted me. but more than that, I wish I had behaved in a way that would have encouraged you to trust me.â
âdo you have to do that? sound all reasonable and kind?â
âI have a lot of experience in loving frustrating people.â
âif you make me cry, Iâm going to stab you.â
âwe need to be able to trust each other if weâre going to fight back.â
âit was the worst thing Iâve ever done in my life, and I didnât blink an eye.â
âI know how hard it is to think clearly when someone you love is in danger.â
âI feared even thinking about the things that would make me happy would destroy them. and it does.â
âwe do not interfere. we seek to avert the greatest harm, to listen to the warnings of the heavens when itâs laws are about to be broken.â
âyou said your people had a proposal for me. so why donât you state it? clearly, if thatâs even possible for you.â
âletâs not pretend you care about justice when it comes to the internecine squabbles of my people.â
âplease understand. iâve lost everyone Iâve dared to love. I canât lose you. not you.â
âyouâre not alone anymore. you donât have to do this all by yourself!â
âwe can do this together. I donât need you to save me!â
âI am not a good man. I am a weapon.â
âwas any of it ever real between us?â
âI hate you. I hate that I ever had feelings for you.â
âI offered you mercy once, and you threw it in my face. donât make that mistake again.â
âiâm not looking for your mercy. iâm here to save our people.â
âdo you hear yourself? do you have any idea how naĂŻve you sound?â
âyou think I had a choice? I had no one and nothing!â
âI did not want this violence. it will haunt me to the end of my days, but I will be damned if it was for nothing.â
âsurrender. you cannot defeat her. it will be easier.â
âoh, (name). you always did underestimate me.â
âiâm sorry you and I didnât grow up in a time of peace, where we could have lived happily together.â
âI mourn, truly, the kind of relationship we could have had.â
(name) didnât break me. you wonât either.â
(name) didnât break me. you wonât either. I will never surrender to you.â
âyou have your motherâs/fatherâs spirit. it got her/him killed too.â
âiâm not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you.â
âyou have hurt me. you left me.â
âmy entire life is a lie.â
âyou were all I wanted. I dreamed of seeing you again every night.â
âI do not believe you. because I know you. and you are a liar. a thief.â
âtalk to me. tell me how to fix you.â
âif you are looking for absolution, you wonât find it from me.â
âI genuinely believe she wanted better for her people and her city. she just got very, very lost.â
âI wish I had more time with her. I had so much I wanted to say.â
âyou may have to battle with words and with your very beliefs. but it it worth it. your life is worth it.â
âyour life is worth it. donât let it be made into fodder for those who will never be in the trenches.â
âyou rip me apart. I was ready to kill you. and then you had to go and do the right thing.â
âif I could go back ⌠it breaks my heart to think of the different path we might have taken.â
âyou have earned your happy ending. let me do the same.â
âyou donât get to make me laugh while youâre breaking my heart.â
âfind your happiness. steal it and do not ever let it go.â
âI am sorry to be such a disappointment.â
âyou say you trust me. so trust me.â