This Is My Small Home

Hi Friends, everyone is welcome • 💞 Rowaelin, Elorcan 💞 • I have memories of people who do not exist, my heart aches for them • I am Ruination • She/Her •

[ladyfortunate]

Unedited, straight from my brain .... here we go:

"I don't remember a lot of my days, everything just feels like it's passing by and I'm just standing still, lately, like I'm standing in the middle of a free way and all the cars are speeding by and my hair is flying all around me, getting in my eyes that never close, and nothing stops.. everything just keeps moving and I can't even catch a breath to be able to breathe into my lungs and out into the world, like how the ocean takes a deep breath but always comes back, flooding softly against the sand or crashing hard against the rocks.. and I'm just here, waiting, and watching, and listening, paralyzed, stuck, can't even take one step forward, can't even think about it, my eyes glaze over, never have they been so heavy before, my gaze dull and exhausting.... yet, I am unable to blink, to close them, to sleep, to dream away the numb, cold, feelingless days and hours and minutes, nothing just stops, even when I cant catch my breath"

[nepofledgling]

first of all I don’t “waste” time on stupid things I spend time on stupid things there’s a difference

[runby2]

At some point it's okay to realize that keeping people in your life who aren't on the same page as you all of the time is healthy and okay.

If you don't talk to someone a lot, or like them a lot. it's okay to still consider them a friend or even an acquaintance while still keeping the close people close.

I've grown up in an online space that encouraged leaving anyone and everyone who wasn't 100% who you'd consider a best friend or 100% 'reliable' / pure / etc.

no . I love jerry who i've only spoke to like 3 times and who always makes me go "what the fuck at least I don't hang around him too much." because he's jerry. He doesn't expect much from me I don't expect much from him. But he's in my life and that's what makes life good. a variety of people. like yeah leave the people who overstep your boundaries or make you majorly uncomfortable - but not every little quirk that annoys you occasionally with someone makes them a bad person. fucking love people and let a lot of people into your life, no matter how mundane of interactions you may have.

[go2jail1]

My mom taught me this! "You have lots of different friends for lots of different reasons." Her friend who she talks about deep things with ISN'T her friend who runs businesses with her who ALSO ISN'T her friend who invites her to parties. Once you realize one person doesn't have to be your %100, you can start appreciating people for what they DO bring to your life

[thetenderpassion]

[mainmanblackdynamite-deactivate]

Put this in the history books

[ylajali]

happy 10 years

[haltmann]

[kittiezandtittiez]

[thebootydiaries]

the ol’ razzle dazzle

[ymirsbian-deactivated-deactivat]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Ever seen an upside down iceberg?

Now you have!

[no-satan-not-yet]

I sit listening to the soft murmurs of my own mind destroying itself. Each day it gets progressively worse. The saddest part of all of this is that no matter how much I recognize this inevitable end. I simply can not stop myself.

-I feel so deeply 100% of the time and damn it I just want to feel it back just once. I need these feelings to just stop. I need to be numb again.

[ladyfortunate]

But when we're numb, nothing matters, and I need you to know that this is not the end, that feeling deeply is everything, it's every human experience and I hope you know how special it can be to feel so deeply, though I know it can hurt, hopefully you can push through 💕

[imakeartwheniwanttodie]

I love that my art is so much more well received on tumblr than on instagram <3 appreciate you my fellow mentally ill people

[poetry-siir]

“I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.”

— Dorian A

[no-satan-not-yet]

When we met in person it felt like I had known you for years. You have quickly become a key part of my day. Each message that you send make my heart jump.

All I want is to be in your embrace and to feel your comfort.

This feelings scares me. But Atleast when I start to have doubts, you ease them.

- I’m falling harder and harder for you each day and I don’t know how to handle that.

[librarycard]

honestly i just think we all need to slow down

[librarycard]

like. im serious. when was the last time you read a book and paid attention to every word and actually tried to absorb what you were reading. when was the last time you saw a piece of art and considered the hours it took to bring it into fruition. when was the last time you closed your eyes when listening to an album for a first time and kept them closed until the final song ended. have you gone to the park lately just to watch the birds fly from perch to perch? have you stopped to count your blessings?

[handsomeboymodelingschool]

My life advice is you should slack off as much as possible

[handsomeboymodelingschool]

I am in a hell of my own creation

[ladyfortunate]

I have to tell myself you're just away for work... and that's why you're not here, even tho I know where you are... so why am I waiting

[brightlightsloudnoises]

ashes

it’s entertaining to watch fireworks, rockets; controlled explosions

but as soon as they become unpredictable they become unsettling and the awe turns into panic;

that’s the problem with us, we are fireworks one minute and the next we are forrest fires, solar flares, cigarettes and we burn wild and reckless until late at night, when i fall heavy next to you in bed

[it3darling]

One day I will fall in love again

With someone who loves me just the same

And I’ll be happy

To have been loved in other ways

As they made me

Appreciate

The love that came

[allthingssoulful-garden]

First time growing Teddy Bear sunflowers.