He made a frustrated sound at her advice partially because it was so sound. Still, it hardly seemed that easy to him, especially in this issue. “I generally don’t have a problem adapting to the new. But new in this case seems to mean trying to forge a relationship with someone I’m not certain deserves it.” Even more complicatedly, Desmond didn’t hate being a vampire so it wasn’t as though he could resent Noah for that. He could certainly hate him for slaughtering his children though, that was unforgiveable. But if Noah hadn’t attacked him he wouldn’t be here now, wouldn’t have experienced all the things that he had. That was another facet of why this was so complicated. “I’m glad to hear that, at least.” Desmond sighed, always pleased when one of his fledglings was going to stay near him.
“Indeed.” Desmond needed more Scotch for this so poured himself another generous amount. “I’ve been thinking that I’ve hated his face without knowing him for centuries, yet from what little I’ve heard of him, he seems to be a respectful and honorable person. It seems only fair to give such a person a chance. I also don’t hate being a vampire, though I do despise the manner in which I became one. It isn’t as though I require the guidance of a sire any longer, either. Yet every time I look at him I’m reminded of what he took from me.” He shook his head and took a drink. It was the closest to rambling he’d likely ever come but it was a prime example of how confused he clearly still was about this. “I’m aware of that. I have no intention of abandoning those who need me.”
This was starting to become equally as frustrating and exhausting as it usually was so he leaned back against the couch, starting to feel more tired than angry. It was good, then, that Maria was talking and telling him about Noah instead of him having to continue to try and pick his way through his tangled emotions. He inclined his head a little when she complimented him. Ironically, it was because Noah had not been a sire to him that Desmond strove to be an excellent one. That once again played into how complicated this all was. Desmond’s eyebrows rose slightly as he listened to her story. “Wounded? I wasn’t aware an Original could be wounded.” Not that that was the point, but still. “Did he help you solve the issue with the young vampires?”
Maria could recall a handful of occasion in which she’d found frustration in Desmond’s logic against her emotions; this was perhaps the first instance she could think of in which the latter had made itself apparent to her. “Then, perhaps, you should take the time necessary to think over what it is you want from Noah, if anything at all. Desmond, there are plenty of our kind who has naught but ill-thoughts towards their Sires. While it may be sad perhaps that is the conclusion you will arrive at. Or even simply feeling nothing at all.” She smiled, “I would not leave you to this dilemma alone, more than my Sire, you are my friend, and this is a difficult thing you are having to try and work through.”
“In that same vein, while you may not wish to consider it you may have something in common with him in regards to losing a part of yourself to a more beastial intent and then working back towards humanity. Not to say you have both had the same experience of it, far from it, but look at yourself now in comparison to who you were then. The ability to change is not outside the realms of possibility, even for old fossils like us.” she told him, a small smile to accompany the wry tone at the end of her words. “Well, if seeing him reminds you of that then the only way to move past that may be to engage him in conversation, see where your feelings go and, as a last resort, there is nothing wrong with simply avoiding him, this is a large town after all.”
Maria smiled at him, she only spoke the truth, it was not until she encountered a few other vampires in her years alone that she realised just how blessed she’d been to have Desmond be the one who found her all those years ago. “Due to carelessness he admitted. I think by this point he was more actively involved in the fledglings he created and that may have been his undoing.” she explained. Maria sighed and glanced away, taking a sip of her own drink this time, “I did. And I do not regret it, the younglings were beyond seeing sense and would be a danger to the humans of the town and countless others beyond that, even our own kind.” That did not mean she enjoyed it; Maria strove to save lives, not take them.