One-Man Apocalypse

Jay, he/him, old, scorpio... Fan of a lot of stuff like Yogscast, Danganronpa, TF2, and video games in general.

[kply-industries]

[syekick-powers]

extremely underrated subgenre of tumblr post: when someone makes a general statement about something, and another person offers a counter-statement that's just completely nonsensical, and the OP just agrees instantly even if it makes no sense at all

examples:

[ajarofham]

[feliza-navidad]

[gay-mormon-wizard]

[rapidpunches]

"SURVIVING"

[lovelyslime]

I love yall. Whoever you are. I'll always love you person reading this.

[ouroborosorder]

at the JRPG cafe, and the drink sizes are sod, soda, and sodaga

[animentality]

[beatlesweatles]

Evil Shakespeare be like: MacDeath

[beatlesweatles]

[s-leary]

Amazing moments in Dads: my friend’s dad’s critique of Frankenstein was, “I just don’t think the author had read science fiction before.”

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

"I'd say she knows a little more about sci-fi than you do, pal, BECAUSE SHE INVENTED IT!"

[terrestrial-gills]

Recently learned about green dragon tail butterflys, absolutely beautiful buggos that deserve to be known.

[scoes]

Guys i just saw the funniest web graphic of a frog on a unicycle. I think this will be big. They're calling him that boy.

[skin-slave]

Exclamation marks, but instead of a huge line of them, we do like Roman numerals of them.

You know. To save space.

[lastvalyrian]

Me doing 490 exclamation marks: XD

[evilwizard]

*moving expired potions from the shelf labeled Healing to the shelf labeled Poisons*

[evilwizard]

*moving expired Poisons to the shelf labeled Potential Mountain Dew Flavors*

[joeyclaire]

steven is a really funny character actually. he never went to school. one of his powers is astral projection for no real reason. hes a musical prodigy. he was so traumatized by the end of the show they had to make an entire epilogue series about it. he spent seven years looking like a 3rd grader. he was even bisexual

[joeyclaire]

he went to the center of the earth. he saved the world in flip flops. he broke his bones every day and didnt even notice. he killed someone

[pawpels]

he didn’t have a bellybutton. he actively chose to eat super crispy bits of potato that got left in the deep fryer. he lived in a house but his dad lived in a car within walking distance of his house. he could revive people from the dead. all of his clothes were concert merchandise. he had an outdoor washing machine. he was put on trial for murder. he broke both federal and state child labor laws

[imhereformysciencefriends]

The murder he was on trial for was different than the murder he committed

[hedronalignment]

The murder he went on trial for was a murder his mom committed. The victim of the murder was also his mom.

[joeyclaire]

he plead guilty

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#not to be That Guy but#what the FUCK happened on this show

They just explained what happens on this show

[eh-fandomtrash]

Steven Universe looks like a kids show, but it’s about child soldiers, war crimes, shitty family dynamics, adults behaving badly in front of and around the kids they’re supposed to care for and protect… and so… SO much trauma and PTSD.

But, you know, if every pork chop were perfect we wouldn’t have hot dogs.

This kids life was so fucked up…

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It looks like a kids show because it is a kids show. All of that stuff is stuff that kids like to see on tv and/or read about.

[homunculus-argument]

Hm. So apparently people with epilepsy can learn to sense when they have a seizure coming. I wonder if you could use that as a plot device thing in a story somewhere.

Like there's some big-ass Great Public Council Meeting about some important politicial issue, Roman Senate style, and there's two opposing sides about the issue, but also a big chunk of undecided people who could be persuaded to vote either way. And there's someone in attendance, who hasn't spoken out loud about the issue anywhere but sides strongly with one of the options. And just when the dispute is about to swing to the wrong direction, they sense a seizure about to happen, and it's too late for them to try to get out of there or really even warn anyone.

So instead they just stand up, boldly announce, "I, for one, am sure that [option they do not want] cannot fail! If I am wrong, let the Gods smite me right where I stand!" and then the fucking seizure hits.

[silverthief22]

I used to get really bad nose bleeds but sometimes could feel when they were starting. One day in middle school this guy in geography class wouldn’t shut the fuck up about that conspiracy theory that Delaware doesn’t exist, so when I felt one coming on I loudly interrupted the rant our teacher was inexplicably allowing to derail the class by saying “if you don’t stop I’m gonna have an aneurism!” The guy of course just kept going so a second later a small torrent of blood gushed out of my head and, being a dramatic bitch, I collapsed face down onto my desk into a nice little puddle of blood. Anyway apparently outside of intense Roman Senate-esque debates, these stunts apparently induce panic attacks in educators and end up with you getting lectured about how traumatizing it is for your classmates when you “fake your death for dramatic effect”

[homunculus-argument]

I believe this falls into the "I don't think people should be punished for objectively funny crimes" category.

[depsidase]

[thatdamnokie]

[angelhive]

santa claus but instead of naughty or nice i judge if uve been banal or avant garde 

[tiktoks-i-enjoyed]