Pairing: Remus Lupin/Sirius Black (Although Sirius isn’t in this fic)
Summary: A short story in which Remus realises he has feelings for Sirius.
Despite it being his responsibility, James was late. With an upcoming game against Ravenclaw, James thought it best to call an impromptu team meeting for one last practice. Which he was currently late to. Shit. As he raced up the stairs to the dorms, a shrill voice in his head that bore an unnatural resemblance to Marlene hurried him along. He crashed through the doorway, racing to his trunk to grab his gear.
“Quite the entrance as usual Prongs.” James nearly jumped out of his skin, turning to see Remus reading on his bed. “Merlin Moony, please stop doing that.” He turned back to his trunk, digging around for his helmet and gloves. He gave up and grabbed his jersey, stuffing it in his quidditch bag. Remus sat quietly, watching him. James got back up, and turned around to face Remus. “No sarcastic comeback Moony? Did I enter an alternate reality?” Remus didn’t answer him again, opening his book and staring blankly at the pages. James put down his quidditch bag, forgetting his rush.
“You alright mate?” He didn’t answer. In fact it had seemed as though Remus hadn’t heard him. James put down his bag, taking a step forward. “Moony?” His eyes seemed to refocus and take in his surroundings, “Oh, um.. No?” James snorted. “So you’re not Moony? Have you seen him then? ‘Bout this tall, a real wanker.” he chuckled. “You’re an idiot, you know that?” There was a pause while James waited for Remus to look at him. When he didn’t, James sat softly beside Remus, scared to move too quickly.
“You’re sure you’re alright?” Remus turned his attention away from James, looking at his hands. “Of course, why would I not be?” He wouldn’t meet James’ eyes. “Moons, you only talk formally when you’re worried. What is it?” He sighed.
“It’s just… I’m worried about Sirius, he’s been acting weird. Or I just keep noticing things.”
“What?” Last he checked, Sirius was still the same idiot he always was, happier even, now that he was free.
Remus shuffled to the end of his bed, his ankles hitting painfully off the bed frame.
“Haven’t you noticed? I’m not sure what it is, but I swear something’s up. He’s louder than normal, and I’m sure he’s up to something, that git.” He stood up and started pacing the room, bunching the ends of his sweater.
“And he has this look in his eye! When he looks at the fireplace, and the sky. When he’s flying it’s like… Merlin I don’t know but don’t you think he’s been acting strange?” Nothing of what Remus was describing made sense to James. James got off the bed and walked over to Remus. “What.. Why does this matter?” Remus pushed past him, towards the door.
“You don’t get it!” James panicked, if Remus left now there’s no way he could get him to open up again.
“Then explain it to me!” A hint of desperation catching in his voice. Remus paused, hand resting on the door knob. He didn’t turn around, but he stayed.
He sighed. “Well… What do you see when you see him then, Prongs?” James hadn’t really thought about it before. Sirius was his brother, regardless of his stupid family. “He’s… He’s a right git I’ll tell you that.” Remus snorted as James continued, fiddling with his hands. “He’s definitely not Sirius without that head of his, both hair and brains. Although I suspect he’s missing the latter.” Remus throw a shoe at his head, James barely dodging with a stupid smile on his face. “Seriously, Prongs. NO don’t make that a pun. What do you see?” James leaned against his bed frame. “I guess, I see a big softie with a touch for the dramatics? If you ever repeat this I WILL steal your chocolate, but he’s smarter than he lets on, ‘suppose.” Remus turned towards their dorm window, wrapping his arms around himself. “Guess that makes sense. Shit Prongs, I sound like an idiot now. Sorry.”
“Please Moons, if you’re an idiot there’s no hope for the rest of us. Seriously though, don’t throw another shoe at my head I swear, maybe you’re right and something is wrong? How do you see Sirius?” He paused. “I think you’re right about the hair thing, and I remember he always sweeps it out of his eyes as he reads. Should get a haircut, idiot. He always has this really warm look in his eyes as he watches the fireplace. And while I know he doesn’t try to, he lifts his pinky when he drinks tea.” A fond expression passed over Remus’ face as he talked, gazing out the window into the field. It reminded him of something, but he couldn’t place it. “And he has this little dimple when he laughs.” Remus chuckled, and it dawned on James that Remus looked exactly like Marlene when she was with Dorcas. Did… He stood up and walked over to Remus.
“Those all sound like good things, mate. What makes you think something’s wrong?” Remus’s eyebrows knit together. “I.. dunno. It was just things I kept noticing and it made me feel weird about it, so I figured something was wrong.”
Here it was. James hesitated. "Do you like him?"
"Course I do James, it's Sirius."
"No like, do you.. fancy him?"
Remus spun around to face him. “What?!” The tension in the air thickened, the conversation ready to go south. James put up his hands in retreat. “It’s not bad if you do!! It’s just.. The way you describe him, Moons, you sound like Marlene.” He opened his mouth to argue, hands balled into fits. But nothing happened. His shoulders slowly fell as something new crossed his face. “Fuck.” He pulled at his hair, leaving his hands there. “Moony?” Remus turned away from him. He moved towards Remus. James said softly, “Moony, it’s okay you know? No one will bother you about it, and if they do I’ll sock ‘em.” Remus didn’t say anything, remaining perfectly still. “Remus?”
James placed a hand on his shoulder, and he tensed at the touch. Carefully, James stepped forward to face Remus. He frantically rubbed at his eyes, lip trembling. “Oh Remus.” James' eyes softened, bringing Remus into a hug. He sniffled, new tears falling down his face.
The room darkened as they stood there, clouds moving in front of the sun. After what felt like an eternity, Remus wrapped his arms around James, hugging back. He sighed. “I just… you’re right, shit. I can’t- I don’t know what to do.” James hugged him tighter. “It’s okay Moons, we’ll figure something out, always do. Although, you’ll never want to spend time with dear old Prongs once you're off snogging.” James pouted, wiping away a fake tear. Remus pushed back laughing. “Oh, sod off.” James chuckled, grabbing his gear and heading to the door. “Right. I’m here though if you want to talk though, you know that?” Remus sat back on his bed. “Mm. And James? This is between us right?” James nodded. “’Course Moony.” He grabbed the door knob, placing his other hand on his heart. “They grow up so fast.” Closing the door as a book flew towards his head.
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