Shfiting as a neurodivergent girlie ⋆.˚⊹₊ ⋆˚₊‧ʚ𖦹ɞ‧₊˚
Neurodivergent girlie series
I saw this post and got inspired because I didn't realize how many of us are out here trying to manifest and shift with neurotypical mindsets.
Little disclaimer: I haven't shifted, I've been trying for 6 years now and nothing, and I never understood why until I got diagnosed like 2 years ago and started learning how different my brain works from others, so I've been trying things and I feel much better about it.
Chapter 1. Grasping the concept is the 1st thing. Because people telling me to get in the mindset and meditate, void state, visualize, act like it, and all that does nothing in my brain. Don't get me wrong, the moment people were like "yeah, you can shift realities" I believed it, I think it's possible but it's different form actually getting an understanding of it. I won't get scientifical or anything but here's something that helped me. TED Talk about how reality is a hallucination helped me a lot because yes, all I think and believe and EVERYTHING it's a hallucination, I don't believe in the "the system we grew up in killed your magic and shit", girl, that's literally you, you are the system, your mind made that up, we are just floating particles thinking they have a life. And what I'm going for here is, once I became more conscious and aware of that I started seeing how my beliefs have impacted my life. Proof : 12 years old, has watched too much skins, and skam, chronically on tumblr, Lana Del Rey fan. I was in my room literally ACTING, I would make up a scenario and run with it, in this scenario I was being ofc the main character and I was fighting with my best friend about how she was never there for me and pretending to yell and cry that my brother tried to kill himself and she didn't care, I was in my element, being Y/N and what not. A few days later? My brother tried to kill himself, and it wasn't as dramatic as I imagined, it was bad lol. Chapter 2. Translating it into shifting. Okay, if I hallucinate my reality, means I have to change my beliefs and wake up in my dr. You know how much shit you would have to unpack to do that? NO. The belief we need to tackle here is the one we neurodivergents have since we are conscious. "What's wrong with me?" "Why I can't be human the way others are human?" If you believe there's always something wrong, like not understanding things others do and say, always being told that you're being rude or innapropiate, like it's always something you somehow don't understand but everyone else does. Most of the advice out here goes against every way our brain seems to work, but you don't think that, you don't think "oh, this advice doesn't match the way my brain process things", our first instinc is "this works for everyone, why it doesn't for me? what's wrong with me?" I'm here to say, A LOT, we don't understand things, we don't process things in the same way, I personally don't like affs because they feel like lying and I might be one for fun but I'm not as comfortable lying to myself as everyone seems to be. BUT it's not about fixing yourself, it's about fixing that if you think something is wrong, or stupid, or too much, or too complicated, don't do it. I don't meditate, it's not made for my adhd brain, I don't "relax" before bed because my body hasn't relaxed since 2007, I don't try to shift to the void or something like that, I don't visualize, sometimes I don't even script.
Chapter 3. Make it simple I recently saw this post and my brain clicked. Neurotypicals complicate everything even to themselves, so why would I care what they say? Yes, I feel this doom that I somehow do everything wrong ever since I was a little girl and I'm the problem. And I'm not here to say it's easy, or that it'll work but something has helped me is. 1. Obsess, who freaking cares? You don't have to let go of shit, and no, I'm not dying on this hill, I'm KILLING you on this hill because letting go worked for you because you thought that would help you. So everyone thinks "oh, yeah, letting go helps", the belief it helps is what actually helps, so it starts working for everyone, and therefore being pushed that you HAVE to let go, but then, it's us reading it, the ones who have hyperfixations, and obsess easily, the ones who think you have to follow a specific plan and rules for something to work, and now we have the belief that we have to let go for it to work, but the inability to do it, so now everything we do is wrong because we're nothing if not obsessive. You're not the problem, it's your belief, and I'm not gonna lie, I still stuggle with it but I've been working on a new belief, the more obsessed the better, think of it all the time, the details, plan how everything is, it's okay, it'll just bring you closer to having it, or shifting to it. 2. You don't have to try, lay in bed and not move, meditate 5 hours, get into the void, breathe this way, listen to this, think this, do that, fuck that and fuck you, I'm not doing none of that shit. You can just lay in bed, think obsessibly of your dr and expect to shift, the only belief you need to change is that you can fucking do it, that it truly is that simple, that it works for you, because it was never supposed to be this fucking complicated, it was never supposed to take this much effort. BELIEVE you are doing things right, that it's okay to do the bare minimum, that it can work. 3. Look for proof, it's okay, start following people who have shifted by just sleeping and hoping, people who think everything it's supposed to be simple and okay, stop interacting with the posts that just tell you that you're the problem, and that you're doing something wrong. 4. How to know if something's wrong I don't know, I only know meditation doesn't work because my mind drifts very easily, I do SATS but I know I'll end up thinking and making up things I won't remember in a few hours, but I know the little I can get done can help, I don't visualize, I'm not good at it, I don't like affirmations because my body feels like it's under attack from not saying the truth, so I see them from a different angle, like I'm making up a character and talking about my character instead of me. Find another way to do something if you think that'll help, don't do something that doesn't feel right, if you already know that something doesn't work, don't force it, if you can't adapt it, just leave it. I know something works or not because if it doesn't I feel so stressed and angry and gross, and I know something works because I don't feel uncomfortable or like I'm gonna die lol, it doesn't have to feel good, it just has to not feel bad. 5. Nothing works for me, so what? Now I just don't do anything? Exactly, the only way for this to work is to change the believe that you can do it, that it's okay, that it's possible and it works. And you can do that in many ways, look up neuroplasticity, obsess over it, write, do affs, whatever, just LOOK up ways until one doesn't feel like shit, that's how you know, it doesn't feel like dying, that's it. I used to think it had to feel peaceful, that I was going to be happy or excited, or feel the "knowing" but fuck no, it just doesn't feel bad, you feel nothing, that's it. Believe you only have to go to sleep and you wake up in your dr, believe that you can do nothing and still succeed, try 1,000 ways to change your believe until one feels okay (i assure it won't take a 1,00 trys).
PS: If there's orthographycal errors sorry but I don't care and english is stupid, love you.
