yuck.yuck.yuck

Just a former band geek that grew up in a cornfield in Illinois and is now living in Milwaukee.... My personality is 90% sarcasm and 10% bad jokes, so if you decide to follow thank you for that...

[basuralindo]

So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)

Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.

So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.

But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.

It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?

So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:

Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.

And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.

So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".

So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.

I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.

[basuralindo]

Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:

My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.

Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.

Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.

Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).

Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues

(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)

[basuralindo]

ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:

According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.

Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.

For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.

So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.

[basuralindo]

Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.

Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life

Aaand a close-up:

The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace

[basuralindo]

HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE

via @kagaminilen

[mysteryteacup]

[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]

[ardanelvilyafeanturi]

Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic

[iheartvelma]

[depsidase]

[thedurvin]

Anybody wondering what all these data centers are being built to process should check out this heat map of the federal government’s Palantir surveillance cameras

If you want more detail, there’s plenty of Flock trackers out there, here’s one chosen at random

Explore the map below provided by DeFlock.me, a project focused on exposing the widespread use of Automated License Plate Readers across the

[blackjame]

[lanaplays]

The first irises I have seen this year ❤️

[importantcatpics]

[transcyberism]

is this a meatball menu for ants

[foone]

crumb menu

[valtsv]

[kylieminvogue]

"SEINFELD" S3E13 - "The Subway"

[cookiewishesyou]

[lanaplays]

I made the cutest carrot cake

[moshroom]

he had to jump in the ballpit to cool off after getting all airplane ears over a treat puzzle that proved a little too advanced

[moshroom]

he's done this a few times now. the ball pit actively soothes him when he gets mad over puzzles. i could learn something from this

[dragonretirement]

[depsidase]

[lanaplays]

I need to get my lashes done and I'll be unfucking stoppable

[jellogram]

A lot of posts in support of homeless folks have this weirdly woobified idea that everyone on the street is just a bit down on their luck at the moment but is actually a super great person who means you no harm. And that's a nice idea but it's not universally true by any means. I once had a homeless person follow me down the street while screaming that they wanted to strangle to me. I had a guy throw a softball-sized rock at me and my friends. I've had countless homeless people make sexual comments at me, including when I was underage.

But like here's the thing??? None of this is a reason to treat homeless people as vermin??? You try living their life and still being a kind and sweet and well-adjusted person. Being a dick doesn't mean you stop deserving human rights.

It's just weird to see this rosy leftist idea that homeless people are a form of noble savage. Like this idealized image of the woeful Hungry & Poor folks in a dickensian fairytale who kindly beg for your crumbs. It makes me feel like none of you would be able to actually support homeless people if you weren't able to paint them with such a sympathetic brush.

[should-be-sleeping]

Sometimes my friends enter into such bad relationships it almost feels like a social experiment to see how long it'll take before I'm like, "You've gotta dump them."

[should-be-sleeping]

What do you mean they accused you of emotionally cheating on them with your brother, because you talked to him a lot after your mom died? You need to run.

[should-be-sleeping]

So let me get this straight. They won't let you wear green because one time your ex said they liked you in green?

[should-be-sleeping]

How do they not know how to do laundry? What'd they do before you? Took it to their mom?? They are 40 years old!

[should-be-sleeping]

Wait. You are not allowed to take Ibuprofen because they think you will become addicted... to not having a headache? I'll get rid of your headache rn.

[should-be-sleeping]

Why are they posting on public social media like, "Longing to experience love someday..." They are engaged. To you. Your wedding is in like 90 days. Get a refund!

[should-be-sleeping]

All y'all reblogging this @ your friends... I got your back:

Dump them! 🚮

[drpebberlover]

[inbabylontheywept]

I was walking out of the Walmart today, and a car passed me, and I got this incredibly vivid impression. It wasn't really in words, but if I had to put it into words, the two key points would be

a). I needed to watch that car and

b). That I needed to be careful, because the driver of the car was a massive bitch.

It kind of took me by surprise, because I really had no reason to be beefing with that car, and I also hadn't really had an impression like that since I was religious, which was in my teen years. Right? It'd been a decade since I had a little voice whisper in my ear, and I'd basically written it off as nonsense.

Anyway, I watched the car, because The Spirits or whatever were very insistent that I did. Car drove fine, went into the parking spot, inched forward, and right when it should've just stopped, the driver gunned it for some reason and it ran into the curb and cracked its bumper.

So, the driver got out, and she went to the front of the car to check that yes, she had cracked her bumper, and then she turned to look at me. The parking lot wasn't empty, but we were the only two people standing in that row, and I'd probably been staring at her for tenish seconds now.

She demanded very angrily to know why I hadn't warned her of the curb. And I could have said I didn't know you were about to gun it or is it my job to help every stranger park, or even could you have even heard me, inside your car?

And all of those would have been fine, but I was really, really busy digesting that I had somehow communed with Mormon Jesus again for the first time in fifteen years, and that the communion had mostly been there to let me watch someone park badly (?), so what I responded with was:

"Because it was foretold."

And I can't tell which would be funnier, if she went silent because there's not much to be said to that, or if she went silent because in Utah, she might actually believe me, but we parted ways without more words.

I'm still kind of digesting this myself, actually.

[villainessbian]

God is real but only to tell you to look at that dumbass fail a basic parking manoeuvre