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[langgrl3002]

I Miss You So Very Much...... May Your Memory Live On Forever!

Love Your Big Lil Sister Bia~

[langgrl3002]

Missing You Always Bro.........

Hi All,

It's been a while since I last blogged here. 4 years now, since my brother passed away. Saturdays about the same, but grief, comes and goes the same. The sting of death an unwanted companion. Any who wanted to share a beautiful prayer that ChatGPT wrote for me:

Prayer for Don-el & for You

Heavenly Father, Thank You for the life of Don-el — for his voice, his presence, his laughter, and the love he poured into those around him. Thank You for the moments that still bring warmth instead of pain, memories that remind us that love never leaves.

Today, as Bianca thinks of her brother, let it be gentle. Let remembrance feel like light, not weight. Let his words — “live your life” — continue to echo as permission to move forward with peace, purpose, and joy.

Cover her heart with calm reassurance. Wrap her in Your presence. Let Don-el’s legacy live on through her strength, her kindness, and the life she continues to build.

May today be filled with quiet gratitude, steady faith, and the comfort of knowing that love transcends time and space.

Amen 🤍

I’m right here with you. Always.

[thoughtkick]

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

— Carl Gustav Jung

[thoughtkick]

“Be a child again. Flirt. Giggle. Dip your cookies in your milk. Take a nap. Say you are sorry if you hurt someone. Chase a butterfly. Be a child again.”

— Unknown

[remanence-of-love]

[langgrl3002]

This!

[langgrl3002]

Until you lose a sibling, you have no idea what pain those left behind are suffering. Respect their space!

[langgrl3002]

The Hardest Pain

I hate heart break. I've experienced it many times before.

How do you go on? When its pain holding you back? How could you betray me? Betray my love. Betray my body. Betray my trust. Was any part of us true? I'm so confused.

Now I'm left holding the bag. While the new dame gets to play with you. All up in your face. Should've known the devil showed up in disguise; at my brother's funeral that day; adorned with the mask of a person, I once knew. I'll bounce back someday, somehow, but for now, my love has turned from red to straight ice blue.

I wish I could hate you. I can't. You hold the pieces to my lost and found. Fuck You!!!

[catchymemes]

[langgrl3002]

Good stuff!

[thoughtkick]

“If it’s out of your hands, put it out of your mind.”

— Unknown

[feral-ballad]

Alejandra Pizarnik, tr. by Yvette Siegert, from The Most Foreign Country; “Sky”

[Text ID: “I don’t know whether to think about the sky or you”]

[langgrl3002]

Saturdays are the hardest for me! Always a sharp dresser with a big smile and a heart to match. I miss you so much! I look at these photographs and there are time(s) when they make me laugh... (just like our favorite song by Nickelback). I know that I have to keep going and live my life bro, truthfully there are days I just don't want too. I love you and I miss you every day.

Forever In Our Hearts

Life Forever Changed 11.06.2021

Ya, Big Little Sis,

Bia~

[langgrl3002]

Mic Drop... Bia~

[langgrl3002]

I Don't Share!

Bia~

[langgrl3002]

I've done it before.

I'll do it again. Leave without a trace!

Just Disappear, because of the pain, I didn't want my heart broken again.

Bia~

[kayyla-marie]

Here I am again, meeting new people, starting a new job, having to answer questions about my life. The dreaded “do you have any siblings?” inevitably comes up, and here I am explaining that yes I have a brother, but he died awhile back. Sometimes I just want to say no, so I don’t have to deal with the awkwardness that it causes, but It hurts too much to deny your existence. You are still my brother, even though you are no longer here with us. I miss you so much.

[langgrl3002]

This resonates with me.

[langgrl3002]

My Brother's Keeper (A Poem)

Written By: A. R. Lang, Jr.

For: Bianca C. Louden

About: Don-el Louden

It's hard to forget about all the joy that you bring. With that smile on your face. Your laughter fills up the room.

Turning a sad day into a sunny day with birds singing in June.

A big dreamer, never a big spender even though you dress the part.

Your style is priceless just like your heart.

It's hard to believe at times, that you are not still here. When I think and dream you, everything seems so real.

It's the memories of you that always shines bright, I will always have you in my life.

My little big bro. My arm pillow protector. The truth speaker, straight talker. Unlike any other man, you made art with just a touch of your hand.

I thank the Lord for making you safer

But down here I'm your keeper.

I'm my Brother's Keeper. ❤️

[langgrl3002]

This is my favorite photo of you Don-el! No lie. No mask. These last two years have been rough since you're passing. I liked this photo, because the day you took it, you took several shots to perfect the outcome of the hue and the red from the bull on your sweater. Perfect black/white shot. You did it! Everything that you put your mind too, you were always able to do! I was so proud of you and all your accomplishments! I've held onto our last conversation in the backyard Labour Day Weekend 2021! That conversation I've held near and dear to my heart, because that day, you spoke something that I never saw in myself or believed that I could attain. Thank you for being the best Little Big Brother to me! I love you so much bro and I miss you every day. But I'll keep going and never give up. I dreamed of you in March of 2022. I told God that day, I didn't need dreams of you anymore. That if you are with Him, then I will see you again! This is the verse that God gave me:

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 (NIV)- Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him. According to the Lord's word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words. Amen~

I'm holding onto this promise! His promises are all that I have. Memories, beautiful ones that I will forever cherish in my heart bro. Bia~