jeepers!

.Canada. Loser.vsco.co/thea-rain

[oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-deactivate]

[taahko]

last night one of my campers was like “well i lost one of my shoes in the swamp today” and i said “oh no!” and she shrugged and said “its ok. shoes are just objects” and damn. they really are

[taahko]

today a completely different camper with scratches all over her legs was like “every step hurts me” and i was like “oh that sucks!” and she shrugged and said “well, you know, pain is a temporary emotion”

[daniel-oneiroi]

the next gen have achieved either peak buddhism or peak nihilism

[humoristics]

me irl

credit

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

Carly Simon writing You’re So Vain about such a specific man, yet including the line “you probably think this song is about you” so that if he took it personally he would prove her point? Unparalleled power move

[christinecanigula-archive]

car commercials: Smooth. *over footage of it driving on a mountain road* Luxurious. Powerful. Godlike. This Car Is The Secret To Your Happiness. Buy It And Transcend Human Emotion

jewel commercials: WOW! REAL PRIME 45-CARAT STERLING SILVER WITH PEARLS FORGED IN ATLANTIS! CALL NOW TO BUY IT FOR OOOOONLY $100!!! HALF OFF!!!!!!! LIMITED EDITION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INSTANT CLASS FOR CHEAP CHEAP PRICES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

waterpark commercials: Come for a weekend of family enjoyment! :) Splash! Bash! Laugh! :)) Teens and adults alike agree that this park is fun for all ages! *wolf noise* You’ll come visit! You’ll come visit! You’ll come visit!

restaurant commercials:  Its Back

[foulserpent]

mike’s hard chamomile tea

[lukestarkillerisgay]

i said whoever burned the library of alexandria you’re moms a hoe

[teamrocketing]

me talking to an adult about computers: yes babette i know everything. yes its going very quickly. thats bc im familiar with it. just let me - done. you’re welcome

me talking to a tech person my age: do i look like i know what a jpeg is

[inabasket]

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

[fuglyselfie]

me: logs into my google account

google all up in my email: BITCH??? THE FCUK IS YOU HACKED???

[hungwy]

Alright team, lets bust a nut out there

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

oh this is my goldfish his name is wet little bitch

[prokopetz]

Today’s aesthetic: keeping the same tab open in your browser for three solid weeks because you’re definitely going to get around to reading and/or acting on whatever’s in it any minute now.

[kingjaffejoffer]

[mimideactivating-deactivated202]

some of y'all r so stupid & should play big brain academy for nintendo ds

[curseworm]

human brain: sometimes we need to do boring things with no gratification or immediate benefit

monkey brain: absolutely not. die

[lemonsharks]

Human brain: ok what if we eat chips while we do the boring thing

monkey brain: I’m suspicious but keep talking

[pussypoptarts]

I hate when there’s a big ass bug in the room and someone’s like “LEAVE IT ALONE!” … why are you defending the bug for??? I don’t know what kind of stroke game this bug got cause you must be fucking it??? is that it??

[allthestarsareclose]