Lara's To Do List

Hey, I'm Lara, and I'll be posting bullet points from my strange, (Hopefully) funny, and vaguely criminal to-do list here!

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

262 - 272

My phone broke a while ago, and I got a new one, so I lost all my pictures! :’(

262) Mail this list to your email and continue it from there

263) Make cookies! ^.^

264) Study for tests!

265) Redo the Drama Homework

266) Finish the letters watercolor poster for Art

267) Thank the heavens everyday that you have a teacher who doesn't believe in tests, and that you uploaded most of your important photos onto your computer before your phone broke. (ළ ʖළ)

268) Review your vaccination card

269) Research concerts in UAE

270) Paint something nice

271) Put all your things into your new pencil case

272) Study spy stuff

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

251 - 261

251) Research the Zodiac Killer

252) Prove several historical cases wrong.

253) Make lemonade

253) Take Meredith home and hide her..

254) I miss Deniz :'(((

255) Sign up for Tennis Lessons

256) Buy another tennis skirt

257) Get a high school science textbook from somewhere

258) Buy a nice dress

259) Get a formal photo taken of yourself, print it out in glossy A2, frame it, and hang it on the wall

260) Learn how to cook. Honestly, you're like a capitalist brat who's never had to do anything for herself a day in her life. Oh...wait...

261) Stop laughing at your own jokes

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

235 - 250

Context: I am very attached to my plants -.- LA keeps getting bitten by mosquitos at her house! I was going to go trick or treating, and I wanted to bring my toddler cousins to get more candy!!

235) Find someone to take care of my plants when I travel. THEY'LL DIE OK

236) Ask Chloe, maybe. But leave her the plant care manual. I don't trust her... Just kidding! But really...

237) Research Howard Hughes

Note: HE ALREADY HAD ENOUGH PAPARAZZI IN HIS LIFE LEAVE HIM ALONE Note 2: NO HE'S INTERESTING Note 3: YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A ROTTEN REPORTER Note 4: LEAVE ME ALONE I JUST WANT TO KNOW ABOUT HIS TEENAGE YEARS Note 5: WHAT THE HELL????!!!! STALKER!!!!1!!!!!!!2!!!!

238) Take a schizophrenia test online. Please.

239) Get insect spray for LA

240) Remind LA to buy insect spray or a mosquito net.

241) Buy a math set

242) WOOHOO I GOT FULL CUSTODY OF MEREDITH!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTE: sadly you didn't lol, from LA.

243) Make a room for Meredith

244) You thought I forgot, didn't you???? WRITE THE STORY HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS??? I TOLD YOU ONCE, I TOLD YOU TWICE, I TOLD YOU A HUNDRED TIMES: WRITE. THE. STORY. I DON'T CARE IF YOU DITCH SCHOOL TO FIND TIME, BUT WRITE THE BLOODY STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

245) Buy some chill pills (I do mean that literally; there are apparently pills that help you calm down)

246) Research epidemics in the 20th century

247) Download Minecraft, Sims Freeplay, and Terraria on the Ipad

248) Research Al gore

249) Bring Alp trick or treating: people always give more candy if there is a cute baby around! Don't bring Ege though, he's too small. Ask Burcu to give him his own bucket, actually. He deserves candy! :) <3

250) I hit half of 500!!!!

[artemis-fowl-fangathering]

Saint Bartleby’s School for Young Gentlemen Annual Report Student: Artemis Fowl II Year: First Fees: Paid Tutor: Dr Po Language Arts As far as I can tell, Artemis has made absolutely no progress since the beginning of the year. This is because his abilities are beyond the scope of my experience. He memorizes and understands Shakespeare after a single reading. He finds mistakes in every exercise I administer, and has taken to chuckling gently when I attempt to explain some of the more complex texts. Next year I intend to grant his request and give him a library pass during my class. Mathematics Artemis is an infuriating boy. One day he answers all my questions correctly, and the next every answer is wrong. He calls this an example of the chaos theory, and says that he is only trying to prepare me for the real world. He says the notion of infinity is ridiculous. Frankly, I am not trained to deal with a boy like Artemis. Most of my pupils have trouble counting without the aid of their fingers. I am sorry to say, there is nothing I can teach Artemis about mathematics, but someone should teach him some manners. Social Studies Artemis distrusts all history texts, because he says history was written by the victors. He prefers living history, where survivors of certain events can actually be interviewed. Obviously this makes studying the Middle Ages somewhat difficult. Artemis has asked for permission to build a time machine next year during double periods so that the entire class may view Medieval Ireland for ourselves. I have granted his wish and would not be at all surprised if he succeeded in his goal. Science Artemis does not see himself as a student, rather as a foil for the theories of science. He insists that the periodic table is a few elements short and that the theory of relativity is all very well on paper but would not hold up in the real world, because space will disintegrate before lime. I made the mistake of arguing once, and young Artemis reduced me to near tears in seconds. Artemis has asked for permission to conduct failure analysis tests on the school next term. I must grant his request, as I fear there is nothing he can learn from me. Social & Personal Development Artemis is quite perceptive and extremely intellectual. He can answer the questions on any psychological profile perfectly, but this is only because he knows the perfect answer. I fear that Artemis feels that the other boys are too childish. He refuses to socialize, preferring to work on his various projects during free periods. The more he works alone, the more isolated he becomes, and if he does not change his habits soon, he may isolate himself completely from anyone wishing to be his friend, and, ultimately, his family. Must try harder.

Eoin Colfer (The Fowl Files)

[towardsmorning]

And one more thing. About my name - Artemis - you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.

Artemis Fowl - Artemis Fowl and the Eternity Code (via myowndeliverance)

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

Holly: You're kind of an iffy guardian, ya no?

Butler: Why do you say that?

Holly: Well, for one thing, you let him kidnap a person at twelve.

Butler: He wanted to look for FAIRIES. I thought it was CUTE. Ya no, till it wasn't.

Holly: Well, tbh, that's not the worst thing you've let him do, just the first awful thing you let him do... no wait, when he was ten you let him try and kill a monkey, didn't work, but still bad.

Butler: Okay, you know what? I think I raised him pretty good. At least he's not on drugs.

Holly: This is him, NOT on drugs?

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

224-234

Not much background needed here!

224) Psychoanalyze myself...?

225) Psychoanalyze Deniz

226) Create a memory palace

227) Research Sherlock Holmes

228) Make a shrine for murderers

Note: Dad, my friends made me put this in. Honest! ^.^ Please trust me :')))))))))))))

229) Buy some candles for the shrine

230) Buy a lighter

231) Buy ink for the printer

232) Get a full size framed picture of myself. Yes, I will admit that that is kind of narcissistic, but yeah. I'm pretty :)))))))))))))))))

233) Find out what kind of plants Rosaline, Christopher, Derek, Benvolio, Clinton, and Jamie are.

234) Watch Tokyo Ghoul

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

211-223

I’ve been researching how homosexuality is portrayed in crime noir films, particularly in Gilda, The Maltese Falcon, and Laura, Deniz went to a school trip away for a few days, I wonder how the mind of Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon) works, and I have this weird fascination with Jeffrey Dahmer. Oh, and LA made me write down to research John Wayne Gacy!

211) Write a bucket list, and put breaking a mirror on it. I've always wanted to break a full length mirror for some reason

212) Write an analysis of Peter Cairo, Waldo Lydecker, and Ballin Mundson

213) Download "Summer of '69".

214) Buy Deniz something nice for when he returns

215) STOP SHIPPING HISTORICAL FIGURES TOGETHER IT'S RUINING MY LIFE

216) Except if you want to ship them (͡° ʖ°)

217) Research plague

218) In depth research and analyze Jeffrey Dahmer; he's actually quite interesting... Aside from the fact that he raped, killed, and ate 17 men and boys :/

219) Research cool vodka recipes

220) Write a story where I'm a murderer. It's just interesting...

221) Psychoanalyze Sam Spade

222) Research John Wayne Gacy. I swear, it's like the serial killer sites are trying to make all the gays look bad... CONSPIRACY THEORY

223) Refer to point 205 - Get therapy

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

201-210

Context: I always forget which apartment number I live in, Derek is still sick, and I think that Edison took credit for other people’s inventions! Also, I have 9 outdoor plants! Yeah, I also named Chris after Christopher Craig... yeah, I’m weird.

201) I live in 201! I think...

202) Ok, back to reminders. Donate to cancer.

203) Buy plant medicine

204) Check which apartment you live in

205) Get therapy (I shouldn't need to explain this either)

206) Finish research report on Figures in History

207) Remember the plants' names: Gloria, April, Rosemary, Derek, Christopher, Rosaline, Benvolio, Jamie, Clinton. If you forget, I will butcher you. Painfully.

Note: Oh wait! I forgot Violet!... :'(

208) Watch the Nikola Tesla documentary

209) Write a report about why Edison is a damn asshole and never accomplished anything in his bloody life (Sorry for swearing, dad, but you probably feel the same way)

210) Break a lightbulb

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

192-200

As we all know, I have an obsession for Burke and Hare and I hate movies that follow the plot structure below!! Why can’t there be any variety!! Also, point 194 isn’t sarcastic, I actually can’t remember most of the stuff I write down. And yeah, I like writing escape plans for dead figures in history because it makes me feel better about their deaths... :’(((

192) I just found out that there is a Burke and Hare movie so watch that! (Might be a little gruesome, though)

193) I changed my mind after reading the synopsis, actually, they turned the serial killer story into a romantic comedy!!! I don't want to watch that! This is why I like 'Let him have it' better. At least it doesn't have any 'boy loves girl, does bad things for girl' sissy plot line. It has good old fashioned murder, injustice, and court scenes.

194) Did I say buy 'Let him have it' yet?

195) Plan out the Burke and Hare escape plan: Hare confesses to the policeman. He runs away and gets Burke (Forget the wives). They grab food and quickly escape the town. They run away and become hermits in the countryside. Hey, at least no one dies!

196) Plan out Craig and Bentley escape plan: Craig runs away at the entrance of the prison. He kinda hides in alleys and stuff like that until the hanging. At the hanging, Bentley jumps off the gallows rather than hang himself (Craig jumped off a building and didn't die; Bentley's older so he'll definitely live and most likely be able to move). He runs away and Craig, who's watching, follows. They meet up at some quiet spot. They then run away from the town (Come on, they're old enough to stick out a little exercise). Voila!!! No one dies!!!

197) Keep making escape plans for dead people, it makes me feel better...

198) Prepare escape plan in case you ever get framed. Or if, you know, you actually kill someone.

199) Buy new seeds for plants

200) I HIT 200!!!!!!22111!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!2!!!!1!!!!!!

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

182-191

Context! I constantly correct people on grammar mistakes, I like black and hate the sun, I had the flu, and ‘My Immortal’ is the infamous worst fanfiction ever, by Tara Gilesbie!

182) Stop constantly correcting people, you're just making people hate you.

183) Stop wearing so much black and saying that you hate the sun, you're making people think you're a vampire

184) Make chicken soup

185) Go to town and buy some plant pots, as well as the plants

186) While you're there, buy a fish for poor Deniz (Make sure it's a nice one)

187) Bring money to school

188) Buy new shoes

189) Research easy flu pain relief FLU IS PAINFUL, OK!!!1!!!!

190) Download 'My Immortal'

191) Research Tara Gilesbie

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

171-181

Context: I have vitamin deficiency, I shouldn’t need to explain point 174, Derek the plant was getting sick and his eaves were turning brown, I FINALLY WROTE A CHAPTER OF THE STORY, and my drama homework was to do a poster on Teenage Life in the 1950′s. My teacher is honestly the scariest thing ever!! Everyone thinks she’s bipolar; one moment she’s smiling and laughing, the next second she will SKIN YOU AND STUFF PILLOWS WITH YOUR HAIR AND HANG YOUR DEAD BODY FOR EVERYONE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WHO DON’T DO THEIR HOMEWORK!!!

171) Watch TED talks online

172) Buy multivita tablets

173) Do assessment revision

174) Hire an assassin for Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton (I shouldn't need to explain this)

175) Get the halloween costume ready

176) Find out what is wrong with Derek's leaves, my precious little one is sick

177) Research effective throat ache relief

178) HALLELUJAH I WROTE A CHAPTER OF THE STORY. WE MUST CELEBRATE WITH DRINKS, CHOCOLATE, AND PARTY STREAMERS

179) Keep writing, though

180) Do the Drama 'Teenage life in the '50s' poster. I'm serious. Do it, or the teacher will skin me alive and feast on my flesh.

181) Make those fruit ices.

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

157-170

Context: I have a habit of breaking pencils, and studying their graphite! The dungeon is from a Lego set that I want to put a functioning lightbulb in, and I LOVE comics! Also, Deniz was sick.

157) Fix the pencil

158) Sharpen my knives (IT ISN'T WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE)

159) Redevise the extensive care program

160) Get Deniz some medicine

161) Buy a new lightbulb for my dungeon (...)

162) Buy some smiths

163) Find an original 1941 Captain America comic I REALLY WANT ONE

164) Find an original 1963 Iron Man Comic I REALLY WANT ONE OF THOSE TOO

165) BUY ALL THE DEBUT COMIC BOOKS OF MARVEL ALL OF THEM

166) Research Bill Gates

167) Research Elon Musk

168) Research Burke and Hare (Did I say that already?)

169) Take a quiz on 'Are you a highly functioning sociopath?'

170) Research different types of doctors

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

146-156

It gets a little confusing here, because I also got a plant that I named Derek! So, most likely, any future posts will be about the plant! Also, my brother is a serious softie, and I keep trying to toughen him up!

146) Give Deniz wrestling lessons

147) Give Deniz boxing lessons

148) Teach Deniz how to fight, and that VIOLENCE IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER, DENIZ PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE (OR SOMEWHERE ELSE...) (⌐■_■)

149) Find out what plant Derek is

150) Buy some good fertiliser

151) Buy cough drops

152) Buy olive oil

153) Buy stomach neutralizer

154) WRITE THE STORY WRITE THE STORY WRITE THE STORY WRITE THE STORY

155) Buy some more strepsils

156) Keep studying medicine

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

135-145

Yeah, I upset Deniz again... I ALWAYS FEEL SO BAD.

135) Buy mascara

136) Get my phone fixed

137) Get Deniz's phone fixed

138) Buy Deniz pokemon cards

139) Buy Deniz a phone charger

140) Get Deniz's computer fixed

141) Get mom's computer fixed

142) Get the tablet fixed

143) Buy Deniz an ipad charger

144) Walk every evening

145) Update Plant Care

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

124-134

Context: I have a playlist of depressing songs and my brother is very sensitive, and I shouldn’t have to explain the history clearing thing (͡° ͜ʖ°). I have this habit with safety pins where I put them through my skin (Only the skin, not the flesh) and clip them closed. I do this a lot, so my hands are usually completely covered with cuts and, occasionally, blood. LA hates it! Also, point 130 is so sad...

124) Make Deniz listen to the depressing songs playlist

125) Get a Greenday album, whether it's downloaded illegally or bought as an album at Virgin

126) Buy more safety pins (LA: LARA DONT U DARE)

127) Buy some pins

128) Help Deniz learn Turkish

129) Help Deniz with homework

130) Be a better sister

131) Submit Olympiad form

132) Do English persuasive piece: Boys should wear pink ties as part of their school uniforms

133) Fix desktop monitor

134) Set history to automatically clear

[laratheprocrastinator-blog]

114-123

Back to notes! Context: All of the Derek and Meredith stuff is explained in my previous post, and ‘Let Him Have It’ is the movie of the Bentley Case!

114) Look after Derek

115) Make a room for Derek

116) Arrange Custody agreement for Meredith

117) Create an account for Science Online Textbook Resources

118) Arrange a cover for the outdoor plants

119) Continue creeping everybody out by producing weapons from everywhere (What? I'm joking!...)

120) Update accounts folder on computer

121) Charge IPad

122) Charge computer

123) Buy 'Let Him Have It' movie