Last Survivor of the URL War

A monument to all my sins would just be a mountain of cheese and alcohol. 29

[catasters]

[idratherhavefreedom]

[ourladyinshadow-deactivated2023]

everybody straight till the narrative foil walk in

[selkiewizard]

We need to replace all major cities with wooden boardwalk by river

[selkiewizard]

... life could be a dream ...

[fuckmarrykillpolls]

so my sister's dog is named communist gun, but we call him red. right? and every once in a while when she wants him to jump on someone she goes "red scare!" and recently ive been trying to get him to jump on people when i go "mccarthyism!" but it's not working yet

[fuckmarrykillpolls]

oh this is absolutely the wrong blog. please ignore

[dat-physics-gal]

i literally couldn't ignore this if i tried

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[fuckmarrykillpolls]

[throathole]

Oh thanks but what the fuck does any of that mean

[anariel-the-elrond-apologist]

I’ve seen quite a few of these in my time, but this one takes the cake.

[throathole]

This is fucking killing me

Golp: a roundel purpure.

Repeat this to yourself until it begins to have meaning

[a-book-of-creatures]

Okay then since some of you need to be reminded of this:

Roundels are circles in heraldry. They are named according to their color, which also has its own lingo. Let’s meet them!

Bezant: roundel or (gold) 🟡

Plate: roundel argent (silver) ⚪️

Torteau: roundel gules (red) 🔴

Pomme: roundel vert (green) 🟢

Hurt: roundel azure (blue) 🔵

Golp: roundel purpure (purple) 🟣

Pellet: roundel sable (black) ⚫️

If your field is strewn with roundels, you can describe it appropriately as being bezanty, hurty, golpy, and so on.

[cognitohazardous]

[great-and-small]

Don’t mind me just thinking about the hole in the middle of the United States where Chipping sparrows refuse to fuck

[great-and-small]

[official-ornithology-posts]

Official ornithology post

[furryprovocateur]

this stupid fucking image sends me into hysterics every time

[alivingtypo]

you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands

[today-till-tomorrow]

op how does it feel to be the most correct person on earth

[taproot-bread]

You know that weird phase where you are not asleep yet but your mind starts doing whatever and you can't really control it? Yeah.

[taproot-bread]

[taproot-bread]

I'M????????????

[swayerto]

[synnthamonsugar]

The pilot -> astronaut pipeline makes complete sense but is also funny to me. There's a secret second sky and if you get good enough at doing sky you can do space.

[the-technicolor-whiscash]

Tumblr is the reason why I have something I call the cashier test which is, if i told this to a random cashier at the grocery store, would they think you're crazy at best or at worst would they be warranted in leaping over the counter and beating the shit out of you. Karl Marx mpreg is crazy, but not beating the shit out of you crazy. The cashier will probably talk about you to their coworkers and it might even make their day. Telling someone they're complicit in their own oppression by working a minimum wage job at a grocery store makes them warranted in leaping over the counter to beat the shit out of you.

[whumpster-fire]

Now in handy infographic form for Tumblr users:

[cellarspirit]

fuuuck accidentally mixed up dowsing rods and sounding rods and now my pepeneus can detect freshwater springs

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

"omg baby i'm so wet"

i know

[ceruleanheaven]

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

[miiilowo]

tumblr is great because no matter how many followers i get it doesn't stop me from being really fucking annoying. other places i will perhaps think before i post. Not here. not here

[pansy2025]

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

[mezzodical]

[comedownstairsandsayhello]

2027: Wizards of the Coast and the American Psychological Association collaborate on the D&DSM, 6th Edition, widely regarded as the worst thing ever published

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Hm. Interesting. Apparently cortisol production depletes magnesium stores. And I have a lot of symptomatic overlap with magnesium deficiency. And it can apparently help migraine. And ADHD. I think I'm going to try supplementing magnesium glycinate. L-threonate sounds really interesting too as that's magnesium that can cross the blood-brain barrier and apparently is super useful for memory and shit.

[goflowolfog]

[balaclava-trismegistus]

this can't keep happening

[sugarcoatednightshade]