quietly looming apocalypse

astronomy is my cocaine

[catchymemes]

[mentalisttraceur-humor]

[mentalisttraceur-humor]

[kata4a]

this is an extremely good joke format

[god-of-chainsaws]

I wish I knew how to play chess

[grand-arbiter-dovin-baan]

[tisfan]

this if fucking hilarious

[1111-deactivated20171231]

its elmos world were just living in it

[gennyescsecsemo]

[jewmanji]

goodbye

[fauxmoux]

The Giver, Lowis Lowry, 1993.

[chlobenet]

my ideal man:

tall 

handsome

dusty black coat

red right hand

[darkangelofglory]

I sure love being sick and having to take cough syrup in such fantastic flavors as

limes at their own funeral

the festering corpse of a cherry

the broken hopes and dreams of various berries

sunshine twinkling on the apocalyptic wasteland of a post-nuclear war hellscape

death

[kr1g]

Leaked list of upcoming lacroix flavours

[wilderrweinn]

Which Hozier song is this

[imperatorrrrr]

Is Nico Hischier the best thing about the New Jersey Devils? Yes.

[gigastacyy-deactivated20231011]

no more teacup pets we keep breeding cats to be larger and more robust until we have monster cats 

[wintersongstress]

me waiting for the next hyperfixation to consume me and give me renewed inspiration and purpose in life:

[mijomii]

Sometimes I say self loathing things to my therapist and he looks at me dead in the eyes before saying “You fucking moron.” and tbh same

[mijomii]

Me: I think I don’t exist.

Therapist: Listen, you do exist, and if you didn’t, someone would have to create you because the world would be a much sadder place.

Me: Jerome, how dare you saying something so sweet when I’m dissociating.

[mijomii]

Me: Honestly, (thing that is totally fucked up for any ‘sane’ person) is normal, right?

Therapist: No.

Me: Wow.

Therapist: You’re just a fucked up bitch.

Me: I do agree with the fucked up bitch part.

Therapist: That’s a start!

[mijomii]

Me: I guess he’s still my friend?

Therapist: Considering what you told me and how much you wanna beat him to death, he’s not. You pretty much hate him despite knowing him for years.

Me:

Me: Why did I need to come here to realize that.

Therapist: Because that’s my job to help you to understand some stuff. Also because you’re way too kind and you would let someone punch you in the guts and still consider them as your friend while they stab you.

Me: I don’t need that kind of call out, Jerome.

[mijomii]

Me: Hey, I brought you coffee. And croissants too, but I ate them. *puts Starbucks coffee in front of him*

Therapist: Oh that’s nice!!... Oh my name is on it!!

Me: Yeah!!

Therapist: It’s wholesome but... *very confused and silently*... How do I drink it?

[mijomii]

Me, not being able to come to my appointment and having to call him: I’m sorry, it’s all my fault, I’m so so so sorr-

Therapist: I dare you to say sorry one more time. I dare you.

[mijomii]

Therapist: Hey I wanna show you this super funny image I found the other day.

Me: What-

Therapist: *turns his screen and show me THIS* 

Me: 

Me: Jerome.

[mijomii]

Therapist: You went to the gaypride?

Me: Yeah, I went.

Therapist: Was it something you enjoyed?

Me: Mh. Yeah. Sorta.

Therapist: Did you see some bears?

Me:

Me: Jerome wh-

Therapist: That’s the only term I know outside of the LGTB one, I wanted to use it. 

[mijomii]

Therapist: Are you sure you’re not becoming roommate with (name) because of pity? Kinda sacrificing yourself?

Me: No, I want it!!

Therapist: Finally, you’re not forcing yourself for the others! And you’re doing something you want! I’m proud of you!

Me: You’re more of a dad than my own father.

Therapist: That’s not very hard.

[naaaaaaaaaah-deactivated2020112]

this is peak chaotic good i need this in a therapist

[little-wolf-white-peacock]

The truth is most of us are chaotic feral

[nualie]

@zizzyiscrying

[asterosian]

Do y’all know where the phrase “eat the rich” comes from or do you just repeat it cause you heard it elsewhere?

It’s not a bad thing, I just saw someone say “we never said who would eat the rich” and realized a lot of y’all might not have heard the full quote

It’s from Rousseau and it’s “When the people shall have nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich"

And, well, there’s a lot of people with nothing to eat…

[insanitysscribblings]

The poor cried,

"We are starving. There is no more bread, and we have nothing to eat."

The rich man said,

"Not my problem you don't work for your bread,"

as if he did not snatch away the grain by his own greedy hands and create filling bread for his own overflowing mouth.

The poor cried,

"We are dying. There is no more medicine, and we're all ill."

The rich man said,

"Not my problem you don't take care of yourselves,"

as if he did not buy all the medicine and raise prices so high

the gods themselves would not

be able to reach.

The poor people

stopped crying,

and the rich man was satisfied...

Until they came knocking at his door one night;

their faces were sunken,

their flesh decaying,

their eyes sightless.

They were monsters

of the rich man's

own making.

As they devoured his flesh,

the rich man cried,

"Please, spare me!"

The ravenous zombies said,

"Not our fault

you fattened yourself

for slaughter."

[sleepy-domme]

Slutty in theory but not in practice

[mythic-weapon]

people: filled with sin dirt: filled with worms (a good and righteous thing)

[zevri]

#this post seems like catholic peasant shitposting from the year 1100  (via shellbeaste)

[thewolfandowl]

follow for more soft twelfth century catholicism

[anthonycrowleymoved]

can john mulaney do another netflix special i need new reaction images

[tlirsgender]

Netflix: we have a wide selection of shows and movies you can watch whenever you want :)

Me: do you have anything good

Netflix: we have a wide selection :)

Me: but is it good

Netflix: we have a lot of it :)

[beachgothgay]

The ides of March is coming up what’s everyone getting me?

[emperor-ing-deactivated20191108]

[im-a-fully-realized-creation]

[starsiignals]

i never understood how we’ve reinvented heiroglyphics until now

[nonetoon]

Do you ever think about that freaky little fish dude that evolved to have arm fins that allowed it to avoid predators in the ocean by literally removing itself from the situation and going to shallow water and/or land and that’s the thing all land animals are related to because I sure do

[nonetoon]

Say hi to great grandpa

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

[nicollekidman]

*likes your personal post that i don’t fully understand or have context for just so you know i’m listening and i care about you*