Sonia knew that this was the only solution she’d ever have.
As much as it had pained her to come to this conclusion, she knew fully well that she could never, ever allow for her own selfish desires to overrule the needs of her kingdom and of her people. Her life, her wishes, and her demands fell second to the will of her subjects; she served the purpose to serve for them and for them only, rather than to carry on her own wants.
When her interests conflicted with the greater good, she must squash them beneath her foot. All earthly desires were inconsequential.
Including her own personal relationships. Regardless of the pang and the thudding of her heart in her chest as she held the spear in her hands, chest heaving, no remorse yet clouded her gaze, cerulean eyes staring down into the storm of grey beneath her. With the adrenaline coursing through her veins and the awful pain in her body as she wheezed for breath, she felt powerful- like a true princess- as she regarded the bloodied and battered form.
But as the adrenaline wore off and the other’s words started to settle in her brain, despair began to cloud her brain and her heart. It hurt, it hurt, to see how Gundham still spoke highly of her, even in his final moments, even after his loss. It would hurt her less to see him spit words of vengence and cruelty at her, to vow to haunt her in his afterlife and to bring upon her the wrath of his demise.
Yet, Sonia was the one to initiate this request. Sonia was the one to request the honest fight, a fight to either free their classmates from this hell or to save her subjects. Either fate would be better than both fates falling through. She knew, deep down, Gundham would not refuse her request- and she knew, out of everyone, he would be the one to still view her as human even in her believed most monstrous state.
“I’m sorry, Gundham. Truly, I’m...” Her words failed, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to will away the tears pooling in her eyes. She didn’t have time for that- she only had time to hide the evidence.”Gundham, the Tanaka Empire shall never fall. I will... I will make sure of it, even in your passing. Thank you for everything, Gundham.”
It was the least she could promise. Even if she were to leave here, to return to her people, Gundham would never fail to cease in her memory. She crouched down to the other, gently cupping his cheeks between her hands.
“...Farewell, Gundham. Thank you for a fine duel- you truly are incredible.”