Mbali, a beautiful young lady I know, is currently in a loving relationship with a young man (let's call him Luke) who loves her as much as Christ loves the church (as he would be instructed to do had he been her husband). He got saved about a few months ago, and nothing pleases her more than seeing him grow in the Lord and taking pleasure in getting to know God. They have known each other since high school, and not once before had Mbali heard him talk about God or church the way he does now. He has committed to carrying his cross and following God every day of his life and, to her, that's such a beautiful sight. Let's say Mbali’s past isn’t exactly as pretty as she is. Before she redeveloped her relationship with God, she got involved in “situationships” She had no business being in, and did things that would make her parents blow chunks. Thanks to the grace and mercy of God she's back on track with His will. The start of her relationship with Luke wasn't exactly easy because he had trouble accepting her past. The revelations of her actions put him in a place of insecurity that bothers her at times. At times, she also struggles to convince him (and herself) that there is no way that she would deliberately betray their relationship. Another young man (Let's call him John) has always had a soft spot in Mbali’s heart. He's the ridiculously good-looking bad boy that steals the hearts of women wherever he goes. They also met in high school, and have been on-and-off friends for a long time. I can't remember how many times she had fallen for him, and I can't recall him ever confessing his feelings for her (that's if he had any). After a heated spat, she spent an entire year not talking to him after he “betrayed” her. Here's what happened: he knew she had [deep] feelings for him and he still went ahead and got himself a girlfriend (whom he said nothing about). In all this time she was sold dreams and given false hope that she would one day become his girlfriend. Anyway, she was furious about this and let him go. Now, when the Holy Spirit catches you in a sensitive place, you don't have much of a choice but to hear God speak, right? A few days ago, she and I were in church and the pastor spoke about new thinking in the new year. One of the points he made was that as we continue to seek God in the new year, there ought to be some sort of paradigm shift in our lives, and we need to get into the new year with little baggage to accomplish this. Baggage includes unresolved issues with others, ourselves and God. So John came to her mind, and God instructed her to send an email informing him that he was forgiven. For a whole day she wrestled with God about it. She honestly didn't see the reason why She should make the first move and mend fences with a man who broke her heart multiple times. After a sleepless night conversing with God, she sent the email. In less than five minutes she got this response (excuse the spelling): “Heye Soz screene craxked Whatsapp mw [insert phone number here]” Which translates as, “Hey, sorry. Screen cracked. Whatsapp me [insert phone number here]” Lol, so I didn't get why he would send his number or tell her his screen had cracked. Mbali was reluctant to text him right then and there, so she decided to do so once she came back from the prayer service at church. When she did, she got an explanation for what had happened. All she could offer in that time was forgiveness. That was a perfect opportunity to give him a piece of her mind, but she chose the more peaceful route. Right now, Mbali is recalling some of the feelings she had developed for John, and that if ever Luke were to mess up John would be the first person she'd run to. I'm going to be honest and say that in as much as she loves Luke, she is addicted to John. John is her kryptonite. John and the other guys she had been with are the reasons why she is used to being hurt and that when a good man, like Luke, comes her way she is unable to appreciate that. The problem isn't them, she is the problem. To some extent I equate this to our walk with God. God offers us so much, all things good. He makes sure we wake up every morning, we are fed and protected throughout the day. For some, He has secured employment and promises a bright future for others. Meanwhile, we live in a world that cares very little (if at all) about us. People in the world have hurt us and all we knew to do was hold resentment , anger and u forgiveness towards them. When God gets rid of all these things, it seems to attract those very people who have hurt us. The enemy sees our new-found happiness in Christ and destabilizes it with the past. That's pretty much what I'm dealing with right now, folks. I'm going through my devotion plan and today's topic is on loving God first, ourselves and then others. Knowing the love of God is one thing, loving Him is another. In Matthew 22 Jesus instructs us to “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them. ” (Matthew 22:37-40 MSG) For Mbali to love Luke unconditionally, despite John’s presence in her life, she must ensure that the love God has for her, the love she has for herself and the love she has for Luke are in sync. She must remember that John has no love to offer, at all. He's just apologized, and there is no prospect of him ever wanting more than friendship from her. He hasn't verbally verified this, but his actions speak volumes (which is enough for me). I know many people would advise her to opt for “the devil she knows” but I would rather settle for the angel that adores me. We need to remember, in situations like this, what love entails. In 1 Corinthians 13 we are reminded what love is. If you have found yourself in a situation similar to that of Mbali’s, be encouraged to just go back to the core of God’s heart and remind yourself that you deserve more than what a weakness has to offer. Don't invite the past to destabilize your walk with God. Grab onto Hid has tightly and run with Him, as far as He is willing to take you. Be blessed! Xoxo Leé
