hey i’m Puck :) my pronouns are he/him and this is just a vent blog. you don’t have to follow or anything i just need to talk a little. if you i do anything wrong please tell me. if you need me to delete this blog or something i’m happy to do so if you need. i’m sorry. anyway i hope you have a wonderful day :)
also i have one very important trigger, which is mindfulness. Please no Deep breathing mentions or Yoga or Meditation, Anything like that. I don’t expect everyone to bow down to my trigger ig. but while you’re on my blog, pls be respectful. sorry and thank you :)))
please don’t reblog my su*cidal vents
Mental illnesses/disorders i have and will frequently talk about: GAD, Depression, Autism, ADHD, OCD,, DID/OSDD (fakeclaim me if u want idc), Suicidal Tendencies,
don’t answer if ur not comfortable but how do u differentiate truly having a harmful paraphilia from intrusive thoughts abt it? im someone who has intrusive thoughts abt 2 out of the big 3 as well as other sexual things that can’t be done morally and i often stress that that means i am a paraphile (ik that’s a broad term but i don’t like specifying which ones yknow).
to my understanding, non offending big 3 paraphiles experience with their attraction seems similar to intrusive thoughts because they cause distress and such, so i guess im wondering abt where the distinction lies? i also find the psychological aspects of sex and sexuality interesting in their own right so beyond my own concern i’d be interested to learn cuz it’s just really fascinating
thanks dude!! :)
No worries at all anon! This is a HUGE SpIn of mine and I'm always happy to provide any perspective, even if I'm not a professional and all that.
The biggest distinguishing factor between an intrusive thought and a regular thought is if it's voluntary, and if the thought is welcomed or wanted. Intrusive thoughts are out of your control and often incite feelings of revulsion, disgust, discomfort, fear, anxiety, or rejection. They are thoughts that you want OUT of your brain as soon as possible. When you talk about paraphilias, the waters can muddy a little.
Paraphilias do not necessitate that the thoughts are unwanted. This may be true of paraphilic disorders, wherein the patient experiences clinically significant distress over their paraphilia (this doesn't necessarily refer to one of the big three!), but it's not inherent. A lot of paraphilic fantasy rejection can come from internalized shame due to outside social stigma and personal morality... but so can intrusive thoughts. There's no clear cut distinction between the two due to how much influence society has over our thoughts and how we respond to them, HOWEVER, you may want to consider looking into something like POCD.
POCD, while not an officially recognized diagnosis, is a subset of OCD that specifically centers around pedophilia. There exists also ZOCD (zoophilia OCD) and NOCD (necrophilia OCD), however POCD is by far the most well-researched out of these. POCD involves obsessive and/or compulsive behaviors regarding proving or disproving if one is a pedophile, such as through intentionally exposing themselves to distressing imagery on purpose or engaging with intrusive thoughts related to children. More often than not, people with POCD don't end up having any paraphilic attractions at all-- they are worried about the concept of being a pedophile and if they'll enact tangible harm, not grappling with actual attraction.
I've struggled with POCD for some time now, but I'm fairly confident in that I don't have any attraction to IRL children. The extent to which I'll engage with my thoughts is in fiction, and even then, it's more of a curiosity as opposed to something that's a consistent turn-on-- which is in direct contrast to my other paraphilias which are much stronger and carry with them less internalized shame, and more externalized fear over being harassed, abandoned, and/or doxxed. I don't experience fear over IF I'll offend, because I'm confident that I won't under my own circumstances. But this is something that can vary from person to person.
Some potentially helpful further reading:
It's not what you think it is and there are treatments that work.
POCD is a form of OCD involving intrusive thoughts of being or becoming a pedophile. Here's more about it.
Even if you've been told you have OCD, how can you be sure that what you have is POCD and that you're not a pedophile in denial?
Zoophilia OCD (ZOCD) is a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) in which a person experiences obsessions that are romantic and/or e
r/OCD also may be potentially helpful! Plenty of people on there have talked about experiencing zoophilic, necrophilic, or pedophilic OCD. Just type one of those words into the search bar and you'll probably find someone who's going through the same thing.
A post that will hopefully grant comfort for my fellow OCDer’s (because I need to tell myself this too).
It’s ok if it’s your OCD is debilitating today. It’s also ok if you haven’t been suffering from it for a while. It’s ok if you have a theme that has come back after you started recovering—recovery is not linear, some people might deal with these ups and downs for their whole lives. It’s gonna be alright. OCD is a bitch and a liar.
But your suffering is real. I love you. You’re going to be ok.
I’m sorry but if you’re a proshippers/claiming lolicon is ‘normal porn’ that is outside the scope of POCD. You should feel bad if you consume Lolicon for gratification. They’re designed to look like kids. don’t lump yourself in with POCD sufferers to hide or try to claim it made you feel bad or guilty.
People with genuine POCD do not want to act on it and are disgusted by the sexualization of children. It’s why our brains panic. If you actively consume the content. You’re not afraid of it.
"I support people with POCD as long as they seek help and don't act on their urges" people with POCD don't HAVE "urges" they have intrusive thoughts that they are disgusted and horrified by and would never act on, please learn the difference
i wish more people understood being a paraphile / having a paraphilic disorder and/or having disorders like POCD/ZOCD/etc does Not inherently make someone a radqueer or some sort of pro contact freak
i hate kids i hate them i want them to get away from me
why does my little cousin keep moaning and why does he never wear clothes he’s such a bad pOCD trigger then he never respects my space when i don’t want to be touched WHY does he keep moaning
i am at my limit with these proshippers in the POCD support tags saying that anti's are harming people with POCD and they mix in purity culture.
i'm sorry that you feel like you have to justify your sick perversions by saying "oh i have POCD this helps me!" when i have to deal with nightmares about me hurting a child like i was hurt, even going into normal fandom spaces i'm seeing more and more of proshipping being accepted and it sickens me. you are romantizing, drawing and writing about some of the worse abuse in the world and exposing victims to it who are going into these spaces to escape like i am.
its hard for people with OCD to come forward with it cause you hear these things like "oh OCD is a blessing!" or "oh i'm so OCD cause i like to keep a clean living space" THAT ISN'T OCD. OCD IS INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT IF YOUR GOING TO DIE OR IF YOUR SECRETLY THE WORLDS WORSE DEGENRATE CAUSE OF THE SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE A DEFENSELESS CHILD!
normally i don't post about my mental health or the general problem with online mental health help but i'm at my limit! proshippers can suck a big fat cock i don't care if they harass me, look at yourself in the mirror and think about what you are truly supporting.
