Towel On The Subway Tracks

she/they Bard (derogatory)

[escuerzoresucitado]

[cacodaemonia]

I know folks have been sharing this link on other posts, but &udm=14 works well:

[fangeek-girl]

You can add it as an extension to Firefox now: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/udm14/reviews/

[no-chill-at-all]

[wildlyannoyingdoofus]

These kinds of responses are my FAVORITE. Some examples to answers to this question I have heard:

1.

“Okay, and who’s the president?”

“Obama, no wait, shit *vehemently* fuck, I hate him… what’s his name…”

“It’s okay, you know who he is.”

2.

“Who’s the president?”

“*drunkenly angry and confused* ..uhhhhhhh…Orange… damn it what’s the fuck’s name….

“Yup, good enough.”

3.

“And who’s the president,”

“Not fuckin’ Obama!”

“I feel ya.”

4.

“Who’s the president- wait, nevermind you’re from Korea you said, right? So who’s-“

“Everybody knows that Trump-bitch.”

“Oh, well, alright then.”

5. (My personal favorite)

“Who’s the president?”

“Ew.”

“Good enough.”

[epaulettes]

My roommate is a neurologist and has to do this check all the time. Her all-time favorite so far has been “ay dios mio” during which the woman was vigorously crossing herself.

[moodyehudi-deactivated20180519]

lol me too , lady

[emi--rose]

One time I got “that orange fuck” from a very cute little old lady with urosepsis

[nezumipi]

I have - quite unintentionally - contributed to this phenomenon.

I was waking up from surgery in the post-op observation room, where they kept people before sending them off to the ICU. The nurse was talking to me as I was semi-awake, telling me that as soon as it was ready, I would be sent to room 2008.

I did not hear the word “room”.

I started trying to sit up and get out of bed (entirely unsuccessfully), shouting (mumbling forcefully), “He’s not president yet! I have to warn everyone!”

[magimerlyn]

That’s awesome. Thank you for trying to warn us

[euphoria-my-love]

i’ve been looking for this post for ages and it finally crossed my dash again

[whatsgoodmentalhealth]

(( *smiles* the post is back))

[stackcats]

Paramedics had to stop asking “who’s the prime minister?” in Australia because it changed so often that not knowing the answer wasn’t really all that indicative of anything.

One paramedic reported receiving the answer “I haven’t watched the news today”.

[placeofwonder]

Meanwhile in Germany, the joke goes that a teenager is waking up in a hospital bed, the nurse asks them who the chancellor is and they say, “hang on are you telling me that can change?”

[prommytheus]

if i took a women's scholarship and then transitioned during college would that count as swindling

[prommytheus]

WOULD THEY TAKE THE MONEY BACK

[prommytheus]

plan of action:

> take womens scholarship

> go to law school

> transition during law school

> get sued about it

> take it to the supreme court

> defend myself

> trans rights?

[prommytheus]

stop being funnier than me

[hellishfig]

playing peak with @leafyduck be like

[whitepeopletwitter]

[doctorbluesmanreturns]

this passes peer review harder than anything has ever passed peer review in the history of peer review

[curlicuecal]

when my littlest brother was a toddler he was apparently under the impression that you could get meat out of an animal without killing it in the same way you could get milk or eggs.

he expressed this as "the farmer milks the cow and then he porks the pig"

[ruinedchildhood]

[songsofwaterandnight]

That's such a sick baby picture to have. The rest of us are all like "oh this is me tripping in the backyard when I was 2" and that baby's gonna have "yeah that's me in my mom's arms as she wins a mortal Kombat tournament". Iconic.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Girl help they're selectively breeding the world's most powerful Mortal Kombat player.

[jovialgnomejpeg]

hi guys question ☝️ why does the werewolf themed reeses got a white topping

[jovialgnomejpeg]

Hey Everyone I Was So Distracted By The Collective Werewolf Boyfriend Pulling Out That I Forgot About A Vital Part Of Werewolf Lore ☝️

[official-monsterfucker-posts]

Official Monsterfucker Post.

[freenarnian]

when you’ve honed the fine art of perfectly-timed reblogging of something aimed at one specific mutual and they immediately like it

[voidambassador]

Tags from @krawdad because i thought this was very cool from a puppeteering perspective

[pathos-logical]

[ID: Image one is a Sesame Street gif of Big Bird throwing a frisbee to Cookie Monster, who promptly takes a bite of it. Image two is a set of tags that read: “#i want to appreciate how wacky a stunt tossing a frizbee to cookie monster is from a practical standpoint #guy inside the bird cannot see out of it. he gets a feed of what the camera sees. #he actually catches the thing the bird actually threw

#and the only reason i can tell they didnt fake it is because cookie monster doesn’t look at the frizbee when he catches it #because the puppeteer was focused on catching the dang thing at all #how many takes must this have taken to pull off #usually you achieve that with a cut #it’s so much easier to just cut to the other character catching a prop #i appreciate the effort #and i want others to notice it #it is also a left handed catch #on a right handed performer #someone else is doing the right hand.” End ID]

[tinygryphon]

It’s also a left-handed throw because the puppeteer’s right hand controls Big Bird’s mouth

this is a really cool puppet stunt o-o

[michaelblume]

And again they didn’t even have to do this, the audience absolutely would have accepted a shot of big bird throwing followed by a shot of cookie catching, but they did it anyway, for love of the game

[jussumsum]

[someguyiguess-deactivated202511]

[vanshira]

The fact that We All Know The Joke is why Tumblr will never die

[heyget]

Jason Todd, pre-identity reveal, at a football game when the jumbo-tron identifies him as the best Bruce-Wayne lookalike.

Announcer: -and the teams hit the lockers! We’ll be back in 20.

Tim: Why are we even watching this? We’ve never won

Dick: We’re waiting on Alfred to call us for dinner

Tim: Just change the channel

Steph: Nah, I like watching the celebrity lookalike cams

Dick: I remember those. They have Bruce sometimes, don’t they?

Bruce, appearing at the door: Alfred is calling you all for dinner

Dick and Steph, simultaneously: 5 minutes

Bruce: What are they watching?

Tim: Celebrity lookalike cam

Steph: Hey, its’s Bruce!

Dick, laughing: They try every time, who’re they gonna find that actually looks like-

Dick:

Dick: Hey what the fuck

[robs-your-robins]

Dick not realising that Bruce and Selina were romantic until after Jason comes along. Like, Dick isn’t an idiot, I am aware but he was eight when he first landed in the middle of the Cat and Bat/Bruce and Selina dynamic. And everybody has those things you just believe as a kid and carry on believing though the alternative is probably so obvious, only for the delusion to get shattered in later life. Dick knows that Batman is friends with Catwoman and tries to help her out, which is probably why Batman sends Robin home after apprehending her after some mission because he doesn’t want Catwoman to be embarrassed by getting taken in by the Dynamic Duo or he wants to give her a stern talking to about her criminal ways. Poor Bruce comes in early in the morning on those nights, always tired and extra sore, always unwilling to talk about it.

It isn’t until Nightwing is helping Batman and the new Robin on some case about an inter-city burgulary ring and lo and behold Catwoman was running it. As usual, Batman sends Nightwing and Robin home. Robin is grumbling because they literally just started patrol and he’s not even tired and Nightwing goes “Batman is going to try talk Catwoman around, you probably won’t see him until the morning, little wing” and Jason just looks at Dick going “You know they’re fucking, right?”

And Dick just bluescreens. He thinks back to all those times he heard Bruce sneaking in of a night, clearly not alone and giggling and Dick thought it was down to Joker gas, only to be gently but firmly turned away by Alfred who said he had it under control. Or all the times Bruce showed up to breakfast with a host of new bruises and scratches. Or that one very memorable “dream” where he woke up, when downstaors for a glass of water only to see Catwoman at the fridge in one of Bruce’s shirts and end up eating cereal with her in the kitchen. Suddenly, everything Dick knew is a lie.

[robs-your-robins]

Gotham Rogues hate - or at least have history with - the Bat, his string of Robins and extended allies. That is known. That overgrown cosplayer and his gaggle of twerps have been knocking out goons, wrecking shipments and foiling plans since they squeezed themselves into those damn spandex costumes.

But other rogues from outside of Gotham? They better not touch their Bat or his Robins. Imagine if you will:

Lex Luthor arriving into Gotham and cornering the Bat only for Harley Quinn to show up, kneecap Luthor with her hammer, nod politely to Bats and walk off into the night like nothing happened.

Nightwing has been shot in the side, he's dragging himself to safety before Deathstroke can find him. A car pulls up, door pops open, it's Don Falcone, "get in kid".

Red Hood is caught with no bullets, empty holsters Lady Shiva closing in and he's down some alley, where a door opens and it's Two Face, jerking his head for Jason to get his ass inside.

Robin is about to get taken out by a sniper sent by the League of Assassins, the Joker drops an anvil on their nest because he's the only one who kills Robins in this city.

Dr Psycho is targetting Red Robin and Killer Croc bursts out of the sewers, snapping him up like the "fucking mosasaurus in Jurassic World" according to Tim later on.

Rogues hate the Bat and his brats but if anybody is going to take them out, it isn't going to be some hicks from Metropolis or that pile of shit they call Bludhaven.

[tubeon-deactivated20260110]

Silly things happening

[robs-your-robins]

The Riddler probably has such an up and down relationship with the Robins because they all tend to tackle things differently and he’s always so thrown by how they handle his riddles.

The Riddler: To free Batman from my trap, you must answer this riddle, little bird. I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but I come alive with wind. What am I?

Dick, eight years old and freshly Robin: *thinking really hard*

The Riddler looking at Batman dangling upside down: ?

Batman: He just needs an extra minute.

The Riddler:

Batman: English isn’t his first langauge.

The Riddler, feeling a little bad: oh, that’s… take your time, buddy.

Jason, twelve years old: *lifting a hand*

The Riddler: -uh, yes?

Jason: Can you repeat that? The riddle?

The Riddler: um, yeah, sure. I have cities, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I?

Jason: Yeah, you’re a map but when you’re talking about multiple species of fish, which you probably are, you can say fishes. If you’re using fish, you’re only talking about one species.

The Riddler:

Jason: I just think you should know that. You know as a “genius”

The Riddler: The more you take, the more you -

Tim: Footsteps, where’s Batman?

The Riddler: No, you have to let me-

Tim: Nuh-uh

The Riddler: The fuck do you mean “nuh-uh”? Who raised you?

Tim, on two hours sleep, with two essays due on this fine Thursday night: *fucking launches himself at The Riddler*

The Riddler: I wear a mask but not to hide,

Steph: It's you. You're the answer.

The Riddler: You have to let me finish.

Steph, mimicking him: YOu HaVE tO LEt mE FIniSH

The Riddler: I have-

Damian: *launches himself at the Riddler*

The Riddler: Batman, fuck, FUCK, he’s fucking biting me-

[heyget]

Jason Red Hood arc but instead of doing any of that reveal stuff he just goes and lives with Selina, who's known him since he was an alley kid and essentially adopts him on the spot.

And then Selina and Bruce start patching things up, and their relationship starts getting healthier, and Jason's sweating.

Selina: Before we move forward, I need you to know I have a son.

Bruce: A son? Since when?

Selina: Just let me know if it's too much for you

Bruce: ???

Bruce: I have seven children, of course it's alright

Selina: Ok good

-

The wedding is getting closer. Jason is going insane

-

Bruce: So this son of yours, when will I get to meet him?

Selina: He's very private, but I think you'll like him

Selina: His name is Jason

Bruce, solemn: I had a son named Jason. I wish you'd gotten to meet him. You would've loved him.

Selina: What was he like?

Bruce: He was a bleeding heart. He was my second Robin, but you've never met him out of uniform before.

Selina: I remember him! Do you have a picture? I might've met him in the alley.

Bruce: Of course

-Bruce pulls out his wallet, and shows her a picture-

Selina: wait

[izbnart]

Batman animation 👍🌟

[ere-the-sun-rises]

@frownyalfred OMG OMG OMG

[wild-moss-art]

This is why I read the reddit comments

[awsydawnarts]

[quarterclever]

I love how the notes for this are just chock full of examples of the most batshit specific things people research for their fanfics. Truly a treasure trove.

[quarterclever]

Some of my favorites

[quarterclever]

And my absolute fav