Hermione should have left Ron
So, to start, if this leaks through into a pro-Ron sphere let me know so I can try and tag it and people can properly filter it out.
Secondly, I am an ardent Hermione and Harry shipper, so take this with a grain of salt.
Thirdly: How the fuck did Hermione end up with Ron when he abandoned her while a genocidal mad-man was in power and specifically intent on targeting and probably killing muggle-born magic users?
That's kind of my thesis here. A lot of the time, people will look at the Harry/Ron dimension. Look at how every other instance of necklace influence we see seems to fade immediately after removal. Look at the viciousness of Ron's words. Look at the disregard of all Harry has lost, and all he is facing.
But Ron's betrayal of Hermione feels like the greater sin to me. Ron, uniquely of the three, could choose live his life under the new regime. He comes from an ancient pureblood lineage. His family is, despite their financial difficulties, quite distinguished with a number of members in tough, technical lines of work which speak to power and skill.
In contrast, Harry "has" to fight this fight. His very birth doomed him to it. Not because of his heritage, but because of prophecy. Because Voldemort fears him as a symbol. And, Hermione, uniquely among them, is not targeted and at threat for who she is but what she is. There is no polite lies she can tell herself to diffuse what Voldemort and the others would do to her and people like her.
The only threat to Ron, to the Weasleys, is their political opinions. And changing an opinion is easy. Where as, much like anyone faced with a genocidal regime, Hermione will never be able to escape the active threat of death.
And so, as she ages, I do not know how Hermione would be able to trust - truly trust in the way required to spend a life together - Ron. Because he abandoned her to death. She pleaded with him to stay. And he didn't. Let aside that he abandoned Harry, and that Hermione is serious in her commitments - that such a betrayal alone would be a black mark on Ron's book for many, many years. One which he would struggle to clear away. He abandoned her and everyone like her to death. Or, at the very least to being permanent mind-slaves under the imperious curse.
And, don't get me wrong, JKR doesn't understand social politics worth a dickybird. She's thicker than shit when it comes to the nuances of race, gender, ethnicity, nationality - basically any of the complex milieu of factors from which an individual identity is formed. And as such, I am not surprised she didn't realize the implications. But we, as the wider community, are - I would hope - rather more aware?
As such, I suggest again, Hermione should have left Ron. Because his betrayal isn't just a fight. it is a moment of existential abandonment. And his arguments for it - his motivations - are what? That it's hard? That they are hungry, cold, and struggling to find the answers they need? But Ron doesn't leave and join some other part of the fight. To the best of my knowledge, he hides out with Bill. So it isn't like his 'protests' - concern over Ginny and his family, his sense of betrayal, his sense of defeat - are even something he himself seeks to address. So he leaves, abandoning Hermione to persecution, torture, enslavement, and death; he abandons Harry to torture and death; he doesn't do anything constructive other than, seemingly, mope; and he comes back and "helps to save the day" but in a manner that completely misses that time Hermione and Harry almost died anyway when he wasn't there.
So, where does the Harmione come into this? Well, it is clear that friendship is an important foundation for Hermione. It's inherent in the canon of the Ron/Hermione dynamic. And Harry is probably her singular best friend. Both Hermione and Harry go through a similar arc here where their very existence is a threat to this new state. Both go through the trial of being able to flee and live in hiding, but choosing not to.
Because that's the important thing about Harry's choice. As much as Harry's choice is framed as his destiny, it isn't. But he chooses it anyway. His life might be forfeit, but that alone cannot explain why he chooses to fight. And so, he is acting out of clear principle. And that principle centers people like Hermione: the weak and/or systemically disadvantaged.
To me, Ron is clearly acting out of a self-interest. He doesn't want to feel guilty. He feels bad about his friends not for them. His initial betrayal is about his family and his sister and his sense of despair and his idolization/dehumanization of Harry. Where as Harry is not acting because he will feel guilty if he doesn't; he is acting because he sees and comprehends no other option which he is capable of pursuing. It is the difference between being reactive and proactive in morality. And, for Hermione, that kind of core character difference would matter.
And most importantly, Harry doesn't betray Hermione. He doesn't abandon her. Even with the Firebolt it is Ron who leads the charge, and Harry who immediately reunites as soon as socially viable for a 13 year old boy. Harry's the one who find Hermione when the troll is loose. Harry is the one who stand beside her when Ron goes on his sixth year revenge-tour (revenge for what? good question.) So, you have before Hermione two men. And two very different examples of masculinity and fidelity. Both flawed - don't mistake me. And yet I cannot fathom, with those two examples, Hermione being able to accept that Ron is what she wants or needs. Because he falls short in such essential ways at tremendous odds with her own underlying character. He might be a good man. But he wouldn't be good enough. Some wounds heal clean, but Ron's betrayal I think would leave a scar that Hermione would never be able to forget.
I know people will hide behind the horcrux - "It made him say those things!" But I'm not sure it did. They can say he turned around and tried to come back. But you can't unring a bell. In every other instance, we see removing the horcrux provides immediate relief - it's why Hermione suggests it. But even when Ron does, nothing seems to change. He still walked out, and he kept walking. He may have felt guilt. May have decided against it eventually. But that's the kind of post-facto decision making which doesn't come to grips with the fact that his fundamental morality was - uniquely among the three it seems - sufficiently lacking to understand what he was condemning the other two to. Death and torture. Pain and suffering he cannot imagine. Threats which he alone could hide from - and did.
