Random questions . . . any thoughts about the relationship between Eowyn and her parents? Or about her and Eomer growing up?
Thanks for the ask! 💛 This is at least two months late, I'm sure. I saw the notification, told myself I'd think up some headcanons, and then the summer flashed by in a blink.
Let's go with a little of both, and let's pretend that I can read and didn't miss the "growing up" part and focus most of my headcanons on Éowyn and Éomer's relationship as adults.
One of Éowyn’s fondest memories from her childhood is of her father setting her astride his mare and leading her around the paddock outside their home, while her mother calls encouraging words from outside the fence. Her father gives most of his attention to Éomer, so Éowyn cherishes the moments she spends with him. It’s one of the happiest moments she remembers before tragedy strikes.
She resents the despair her mother falls into after Éomund’s death, both because her mother pays less attention to her and because she feels it makes her mother weak. When she grows older and begins to experience the same despair, she resents it and works to shape it into cold determination so that she may not be thought to be weak.
She resents, too, that she must become a nursemaid to her mother (and that Éomer is not beholden to do so) until her aunts arrive and lighten the load, but feels guilty for feeling so about her mother and feels that a better daughter wouldn’t entertain such feelings.
One of the bright spots during her mother’s illness is her aunt Trewhild teaching her the basics of wielding a sword, during breaks from taking care of her mother. With a sword in her hands, Éowyn finally feels like she's no longer powerless.
Just before her mother dies, she gives Éowyn a knife that her own mother gave to her and tells her to always keep it with her. Later, when Gríma stalks the hall outside her bedroom in the late hours of night, she takes strength from her mother’s knife, tucked beneath her pillow (have to thank @hobbitwrangler for this one!).
As much as she loves her parents, she resents just a little that her childhood was stolen from her and she was made to grow up too soon. Théoden tries to provide her with a childhood in Meduseld, but Éowyn never quite feels like a child again after her parents' deaths.
When Théoden falls under Saruman’s thrall, Éowyn is reminded of how she felt when her mother was sick—powerless to heal her, resentful at being shut inside and having to be her mother’s nursemaid, and resentful that she feels that way she does. The intervening years don't make the emotions any easier to bear.
Éowyn always worries when Éomer rides off that one day he, like their father, may never return.
Upon Éomer’s banishment from Edoras, he quietly commands one of the few household men that he knows to be loyal to him and not under Gríma’s influence to discreetly watch Éowyn’s door at night. Gríma soon finds out and has the man thrown out of Meduseld.
After Éowyn returns to Edoras for Théoden’s funeral, Éomer and Éowyn have many long conversations about the mistreatment she endured at the hands of her family and its role in her suffering and despair.
Since Éowyn and Faramir refuse to have any weapons displayed in their home, Éomer hangs her sword and broken shield over the door to Meduseld, facing his throne. In time, stories spread among the people of Edoras that the arms of the Lady of the Shield-arm guard Meduseld from harm.
Éomer later changes the laws of succession to stipulate that the crown can pass to male or female heirs.
He is known by all to display a fearsome temper when cases of harassment, assault, rape, or abuse are brought before him, and he codifies strict laws regarding such cases.
Éowyn is widely known to be one of Éomer’s most trusted counselors (along with Lothíriel), such that she is considered an unofficial member of his council, and a seat at the council table is always reserved for her when she visits Meduseld.
Éowyn and Lothíriel get on like a house on fire, which Éomer enjoys most of the time, except for the times when he finds himself on the opposite side of an argument as them and the times when they conspire against him (which happens more frequently than he would like).
Relatedly, whenever Lothíriel is losing an argument, she plays the “Éowyn agrees with me” card, and Éomer is forced to capitulate because he knows his limits, and facing the combined ire of Lothíriel and Éowyn is more than one man can take on.
Éomer names one of his daughters after Éowyn (or gives her a name inspired by Éowyn and her deeds; I haven’t decided yet). Éowyn would likely do the same, but I’m very fond of Elboron being an only child.
Elboron and Elfwine (and his siblings) often spend months at a time living at each other’s homes, learning of the other culture and people they come from. It’s Éowyn’s idea to do so, and the people of Rohan and Gondor appreciate the additional strengthening of the alliance between their realms. The people of Edoras and Emyn Arnen, in particular, are always delighted when the heirs visit and take great joy in teaching them about the other half of their heritage.