Song of the Sand Man

Lysander Scamander | Ravenclaw | Year Seven Hey guys. Lysander Scamander here. Self-proclaimed coolest dork ever. Proud Ravenclaw. Bad boy next door. Any questions, hit me up. In case you were wondering, I'm the cool twin.

[legendary-lysander]

Did you guys see Minister Gloryflower's letter in the Prophet?

Inspired. And Inspiring. We're so lucky to have such a fantastic Minister to lead us in times like this. 

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Ugh, okay, c'mon. {private}

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Yeah? Is that what they said? That I wouldn’t understand? Isn’t that what people in abusive relationships say, Sander? They tell the person they’re beating to a pulp that they love them and they can’t tell anyone else because they wouldn’t understand.

You share one thing with those people, Sander. But if they’re the ones who told you not to tell me— if they’re sitting around saying someone they’ve never met wouldn’t understand— they sound like they’re full of hate. They sound like they’ve let this one thing become their only thing. Which is what the Ministry wants, right? To make you stop being a person with lycanthropy and start being a werewolf. Why are you giving them what they want? You’re normal. You’re you. You just have a disease, and it’s manageable, even if it’s not treatable, so… so stop this. Stop this pack shit.

[legendary-lysander]

Yeah except they're not beating me to a pulp, Lorcan, they care about me and they accept me and why are you trying to take away this one thing from me? What, you want me to be the kind of werewolf that just sits around waiting for the full moon so you can lock me up so I don't hurt anyone? No one who doesn't have a wolf in them will ever be able to understand what it's like. And it's not just three nights a month, Lorcan, the wolf is there all the time. All the time. 

And they're not full of hate, you would like them, I know you would. And it's not my only thing, I'm not like that, but it's not a disease, either, Lorcan. I am not diseased. 

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Ugh, okay, c'mon. {private}

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

…who was right about me?

[legendary-lysander]

My pack. The other wolves. 

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Ugh, okay, c'mon. {private}

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

I’m not ashamed of you! But that doesn’t make it less dangerous for you to go around proclaiming yourself a werewolf, Sander.

Yeah, well— there are exceptions. Teddy’s dad was one of them. So are you. But your— that pack… Sander, c’mon. You can’t seriously think that spending time with a group of people who look at something that only affects them a few days out of the month as their strongest identifier is a good idea. Those people are werewolves, Sander, because they let it be them. They let it take over their lives.

Don’t do the same thing. Let it be something that happens to you, but don’t let it be you.

[legendary-lysander]

They were right about you. You'll never understand. 

It is me. The sooner you accept it, the better off we'll be. I didn't see you freaking out about James when he started dating a boy. 

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Ugh, okay, c'mon. {private}

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Jesus, could you please keep your voice down?

No, Sander, you aren’t it. You aren’t a werewolf, you have lycanthropy. And we can deal with it and we will deal with it but you aren’t a werewolf. Werewolves are— you know. Feral. And you’re you.

[legendary-lysander]

No. I'm not going to be embarrassed about this anymore. I'm not going to be ashamed of myself and you shouldn't be ashamed of me. 

Teddy's dad wasn't. And neither is my pack. 

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Ugh, okay, c'mon.

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Something incurable that you got through contact with someone else? What the hell would you call it, Sander?

[legendary-lysander]

It's a spell, and it's part of me now, and I'm not going to think of it as a disease or a curse and I wish you wouldn't either. It's part of me. 

I'm Lysander, Sander, your twin brother, and a werewolf. Your brother is a werewolf. I don't have it. I am it. 

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Ugh, okay, c'mon.

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

…what? You thought I would— you thought I wouldn’t want you in my life anymore? Is that it? Sander… christ. I can’t… I just because I’m not you, just because I’m not some saint doesn’t mean I’m…

You’re my twin. When we eventually inevitably become estranged, it will be for an actual valid reason. Not because you caught some disease.

[legendary-lysander]

It's not a disease, Lorcan. 

It's not a disease. 

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Ugh, okay, c'mon.

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Gross, Lys, we’re in public.

…no, actually, I don’t know. You thought I what?

[legendary-lysander]

Well, I mean, you didn't write or anything and I just thought that it was maybe because of my...you know. Condition. Quote-unquote. 

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Ugh, okay, c'mon.

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Good. We’ll work on the sleep thing. And yes, you do have a condition, and we’re not having this argument again here or now but you’re probably exacerbating it with all the stress and sleep deprivation so just… just be careful. Please.

Sander, I’m not leaving. I’m not. And for once, for once, this isn’t me trying to compete with you and this isn’t some petty stupid stunt I’m pulling to impress— well, anyone. I’m here because I’m… I’m supposed to be, Sander. I can feel it. Maybe if I took Divination seriously at all ever I would know why but I can be so good at this, and so— just— just don’t make this about you and what you might have to see.

Besides. James is too spacey to trust with your back.

[legendary-lysander]

...okay. Okay. I'm going to let it go for now because I'm tired and I'm unhappy to say I'm happy to see you. 

This is the first time you've talked to me since I, umm...since I told you. And I thought maybe you...umm...you know. 

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Ugh, okay, c'mon.

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

…I— Sander, c’mon, don’t… jesus.

You’re going to talk to the R&D people tomorrow and tell them that you can’t fully commit to the program. You’re going to tell them that you’ll help when you can and if they need you, but otherwise, you’ve been drafted to aerial, so you’re going to train with aerial. But first, tonight, you’re going to go to bed roughly nowish and sleep as late as you possibly can because there’s no way sleep deprivation can help your…. condition.

[legendary-lysander]

Okay. Yeah. Okay. I'll do that. 

No, I can't go to bed right now, I have to at least finish these blueprints for the Goblin-forged spear shields. And I don't have a condition, I don't, it's going to be fine. I'm going to fine. 

Please go home, Lorcan. Please. I don't want to see you get hurt. Please. 

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Ugh, okay, c'mon.

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

You did not say 'and', Sander. You said— whatever, whatever it is, the totally not in the field one, that’s the only thing you said you would be doing, and then I come back and James says you’re out here, what, literally working yourself to death? Do you sleep? At all? What is the matter with you? Why would you work for two branches of the army, Sander? They’re not going to promote you. This isn’t going to look good on some resume. You are going to die you idiot.

And worse, worse than you dying, is you standing there acting like you have any moral high ground, like you have any right to tell me I’m not allowed to enlist when I told you it’s what I wanted to do.

[legendary-lysander]

Well I didn't think it was important for you all to know, you would just have worried about me, or worse, come and enlist, which you did, like the complete brainless idiot you are, and what was I supposed to do, Lorcan? I got drafted into aerial but they need me for R&D too, so what am I supposed to do? Tell them sorry, you're going to have to find someone else to design weapons to save people's lives? I'm not doing this for my resume, Lorcan, Godric, do you know me at all? I don't care about my resume, I'm doing this because it's right, and I do have the high ground because you promised and I don't need that much sleep, anyway, and I'm so, so, so glad you're here. 

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Ugh, okay, c'mon.

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

What? No. Maybe. I don’t know, I don’t exactly talk plants with dad, Sander.

But, you know, that’s a fair question. What I’m doing here. I was going to ask you the same one in training tomorrow. You know, when you marched out there with a broom when you were supposed to be learning ‘perfectly safe negotiation tactics’? Like you said you would be doing in your letter? Like you said would be the only thing you were doing in your letter?

Good to see you, too, by the way, brother.

[legendary-lysander]

Actually I said I would be doing research and development and-...wait, what are you talking about? 

No. No. No. You promised. You promised you would not enlist. You. Promised. 

[lorcan-the-great-and-powerf-blog]

Ugh, okay, c'mon.

Like the house elves really had anything better to do. I mean, I’m assuming that they got sent away over here, because I have never met a house elf that prides themselves on making the driest meats and the limpest salads.

Or are they just supposed to be making the food this awful. I don’t get it. Aren’t we, like, prize pigs now? Shouldn’t we be getting fattened up for slaughter?

[legendary-lysander]

What are you doing here?

Is everything okay with mum and dad? Did the pestilence strike the dirigible plums again? I told Dad to just brew a simple variation on the general pesticide potion next time that happened...

[legendary-lysander]

Huh?

[an-unknown-chloe]

Um, yes, I really thought that. How could I not? I kind of thought it was a little embarrassingly obvious, actually, but apparently not…

Sometimes I feel like all I’ve ever known is make-believe. The fairy-tales and the imaginary friends and the stories in my head… And there was happiness there, too, I think, but…. I don’t know. I don’t know. It gets blurry when I think about it too long. Do you ever feel like you just can’t get reality to come into focus? Like you’re looking at it through a camera you can’t adjust, no matter how much you fiddle with the buttons?

Hey, Sander? You can’t possibly know that. But thank you for saying it anyway.

And I have absolutely no doubts in the universe that you are someone’s Prince Charming. And I would know. I’ve read a lot of fairy-tales.

[legendary-lysander]

I guess I'm pretty oblivious. But...well, you have Lorcan now. So. 

Sometimes. But sometimes I think the way I'm seeing the world is exactly the way I'm supposed to see it. Blurry and out of focus and all. 

I can too know it. Cinderella - at least, the way she's usually thought of - wasn't very brave. She just kind of sat around and waited for a fairy godmother to come and make her wishes come true, and a prince to come and carry her off, and that's no you. You're brave and bold and alive. Heck, you're only here in the first place because you didn't want to sit around and wait for life to happen to you. 

Yeah, well...I don't think...I mean...well, for one thing, I thought I found my true love, and that turned out to be a total bust. And for another thing...I don't know many princes who get teased and made fun of as much as I do. Did. Before the war, you know. 

[legendary-lysander]

Huh?

[an-unknown-chloe]

You are so silly sometimes, in all the best ways.

And of course I had a crush on you. You were pretty much the stereotypical storybook Prince Charming, come to life. Kind, sweet, charming, great smile, and you brought me tea, which is a sure sign that you’re a good provider.

So would that make Cinderella smart or stupid? I mean, she left him a clue, but maybe— maybe he would have found her anyway. If he was really meant to be her Prince, he would have found her anyway, right? And what if he’s not her Prince? What if she left a clue for him, and she’s not even supposed to be his Princess? What if they’re all wrong for each other, but now there’s this whole romantic glass slipper business, and they can’t just not pretend to live happily-ever-after, because that would just look silly, wouldn’t it?

I need Lorcan to come back and tell me I’m not a stupid Cinderella.

[legendary-lysander]

You really thought that?

I'm not much of an advocate for pretending to be happy. I think it's pretty silly on its own right. If you're just pretending to be happy, I think a lot of times that closes you off from being actually happy. But maybe it wasn't a mistake, anyway. Maybe she was just making her own happy ending. Maybe there's nothing wrong with that, either, you know?

Hey Chloe? You're not a stupid Cinderella. And I'm definitely not a Prince Charming. 

[legendary-lysander]

Huh?

[an-unknown-chloe]

Oh, I love secret time! Can we have peppermint tea and pretend it’s truth serum?

You’re so sweet, Sander. I hope your brother knows how very lucky he is to have you. Not that he’s not wonderful in his own ways, but… I don’t know, your kindness and— and loyalty have always amazed me.

You know the real fairy tales had horrible endings? Suicides and deaths and happily-never-afters? I’ve always wanted to believe a Disney ending was in store for me, but I guess maybe that’s a little silly, isn’t it? Or maybe it’s not, maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle. The Prince gives Cinderella her glass slipper in the end, but maybe there has to be a lot of smelly pumpkins in the middle. I hate pumpkins. And promises.

Secret time? I had the biggest crush on you the night I met you.

[legendary-lysander]

Umm, I don't know where to get peppermint tea...but we can drink water, and pretend it's peppermint tea, and pretend that's truth serum. 

I don't think he does, but hey, feel free to remind him. But I mean...I'm not anything special, really. I'm not like Lorcan. Everyone just gravitates toward him like he's his own sun, you know? Not that it bothers me, really. I'm content to just be left by myself whenever, it's fine. Gives me time to work on my projects and stuff. 

You know, I've always wondered whether Cinderella left her shoe there on purpose. So the prince could find her, you know? 

You had a crush on me? That's crazy. There's nothing to have a crush over. 

[legendary-lysander]

Huh?

[an-unknown-chloe]

………..Yes? Oh, goodness, that’s an insulting thing to say to a boy, isn’t it? I promise I meant it in a good way, and that I think you’re a very manly adorable.

Oh. Well, he shouldn’t have made a promise that he wasn’t intending to keep. And you’re right, I’m sure he’ll show his face soon, and wow us with stories of his marvelous and daring exploits.

I just thought my fairytale would feel different, you know?

[legendary-lysander]

Yeah, well, I guess what people forget when it comes to guys like Lorcan is that Prince Charming is charming, not sincere. 

I'm sorry he's doing that to you. You deserve a lot better than that. When I see him, I'll tell him that. You deserve a real fairy tale. The best one. 

And it's okay, I don't mind. Secret time? I kinda like that you think I'm adorable.