Leiizy Vain Beautiful

Lei | 20 | Psychology Major Lazy | Vain | Beautiful LOL Please don't take me seriously. This blog is for my personal thoughts and musings. I'm here to express, not to impress. A KPOP fan [VIP/Blackjack] A self proclaimed artist Weird things go on in my brain, please send me to an asylum thx VAIN STALKER(S)

[loudtremors]

Heyaaa there’s a whole ton of thoughts in my head right now. A bunch of them quite superficial, but hey, don’t tell me I’m the only one who doesn’t have deep thoughts and inspirational things going on in my mind 24/7. Anywho. I couldn’t sleep so I went on Instagram. I don’t know why I just...

[loudtremors]

It’s hard to have an outlook in life where you expect the best out of everything and everyone. I always end up disappointed.

[leiizyvainbeautiful]

Online chatting

It's 3:38am and I'm just about to sleep. I've been chatting with random people all day using a chat site I just found out about yesterday when someone asked me on ask.fm about it, called chatous. I went into this site with guards up high and thinking the worst of people. But I was pleasantly surprise to find out that I could actually have decent conversations with people. Of course there are still a lot of pervs but it's in the minority, and you can totally just click the end chat button anytime, and any photo sent expires in seconds (you can set it from 1-10 seconds every photo.) Yesterday I met three decent people, all of whom I spent more than 2 hours talking to about all kinds of things. Today I only chatted with one person coz we ended up chatting for 9 hours! There were times when our conversational topics ventured to more mature stuff but mostly we talked about future plans and our experiences. He backed away with respect when he offered things and I politely declined. He had respect. You can't find that paired with anonymity for the most part of the internet! We talked for so long that he went to his meeting late and that we already formed some inside jokes. There were a lot of compliments flying around lol that's always a good idea when talking to a girl =)) though I couldn't help but compliment him back coz he was friggin good looking lmao He's from the other side of the world (a place I'd like to visit someday hahaha how convenient) and super funny. Can't wait for another chat session with the dude. Hahaha Anywho, chatous is great. I never even ventured to omegle coz I know that place breeds perverts but it's cleaner on chatous haha maybe only 1 bad out of 10 matches. Be cautious but still open minded! Sometimes the best kind of relationships start online. I know a lot of my online friendships worked out great (thanks to the vip fandom lol) It wasn't perfect but it was awesome. :D

[leiizyvainbeautiful]

I've learned that the people you trust the most, will be able to hurt you the most...

[loudtremors]

hi here’s my face ^__^

[leiizyvainbeautiful]

#TeamGC swim swim <3

[leiizyvainbeautiful]

#TeamGC swim swim!

So last May 30, 2014, a day before my birthday, my college friends and I went on a swimming trip! The food and cottage expenses were shouldered by some of the birthday celebrants for the summer months. We talked about this for days and days on our FB event page and I would still love to go back there since there were tons of hilarious conversations that went on while deciding what food to bring and what to wear and what time to be there and everything. We actually invited 17 people to attend but only 11 people were able to come since lots of people were busy, broke or overseas for the summer.

So yeah, we met at Concepcion church at Marikina in the morning (where we lugged around our pot lucks and bought last minute additions such as pizzas, fried chicken and ice lol) and the first thing I did when I went up to them was complain and they laughed at me saying they bet that I was going to complain first thing when I got there (what an image I have right lol). We took tricycles to the resort (Vista Al Ciudad) and I was with Charri inside the tricycle and the softdrink bottles and the rice cooker were pressing onto our legs and feet since the resort was uphill and we were crying/laughing all the way ; u ; hahahaha

The entrance to the resort was super steep too and I was lugging the softdrink bottles up when Shame's boyfriend offered to help (awwww guess there are still gentlemen in the world) then we trudged (im laughing at my choice of words here hahaha) up to our cottage and set up the food after we paid for our entrance fees. Jada and I were left to set up the food since a lot of them went out for photoshoots and to change their clothes. I was already so excited to swim so we took some pics fast and screamed at them to eat already so we could go swimming lol they wouldn't let me eat without everyone present (im sad, my pizza slice had to go back in the box *tear) so yeah Jada and I were the first ones at the pool, there was also another group of people, high school students I think, that were at the resort and we had to share or swap pools since there was a regular one and a kiddie pool. =))

Eventually they all came down too and we played tons of pool games under the scorching sun, I was already beginning to get darker OTL I don't get sunburned, my melanin count increases a lot. LOL Some of my friends (or maybe everyone except for me) went on the huge slide towards the deep end of the pool and it was so friggin funny how at some of those attempts, they didn't get any momentum and ended up just skidding on the slide and jumping down at the bottom, odg hahahaha (I'm talking about you Dianne hahahaha).

I did go on a slide though, the 4 feet one by the kiddie pool! Hahahaha sounds lame but it was fun especially if there are four of you and someone just accidentally steps on your foot when you get to the pool and you almost drown (Thanks MM!) 

Halfway through the day we were just lounging on the side of the pool even though the other group already left and we had the whole resort to ourselves lol we were sitting on the stairs and telling stories like how Jill and her boyfriend got back together lol and talking about our classmates *coughbackstabbingcough* loljk those moments are the best, I love talking to these people <3

We got up a little while after and ate a bit more then had our 'official' photoshoot thanks to Shame and her DSLR! Hahahahaha we were sitting on this fence with a nice view and got scolded by a resort worker loooooool but we still managed to get a lot of nice photos!

We returned to swim (now armed with sunblock!!!) and played some more games~ Shame's boyfriend knew so many water games I was just @__@ lol I couldn't even join some of them coz I didn't get the mechanics hahaha I enjoyed them though since my team could win with teamwork HAHAHAHA 

Most of the time we just stayed by the mushroom in the middle of the pool to get away from the sun, Jez learned to swim that day since her mom carried her on her back hahahahaha also her make up wore off eventually hahahaha we played a lot of the washing machine game hahaha how is it even called really, and the one where we hold hands and go in circles and really it's just the ones who can swim trying to drown us who can't by dragging us to the deep end of the pool! And also by almost always trying to make us hit our heads on the stem of the mushroom thing. Hahahaha

We had more time to chat and we started scaring each other with talks of monsters and killers and a little while after that, thunders came rolling and the post lights started flickering we were panicking hahahaha then heavy rain poured and we just screamed like little kids and played more games such as the drowning game mentioned before (which is a whole lot harder under huge drops of rain and strong cold wind on your face and eyes!!) 

Then the resort workers started badgering us at 4pm telling us we should get a move on since we already 'extended one hour' when we thought that we had the resort until 6pm @___@ but we had no choice but to get up in the pouring rain and go back to our cottage only to find out that OUR THINGS WERE SOAKING WET!

I'm glad I put my towel above my bag so my things were half decent but my towel was soaked and didn't help much when we took a shower (Lorenz showered with us girls coz the boys' shower room was friggin scary) it was super funny though idk hahahahahaha

After that, we migrated to a dryer place where we could deposit our bags and things and finish eating our leftover food (I got to take home a few more chips yay) while some of their things were hung to dry. The rain was over but it already damaged the clothes. LOL

We all then went back to Concepcion so they could go back to Jada's to spend a few more minutes to dry off while I took a tricycle home (which cost me P70 sobs) and passed out at home coz the day was so friggin tiring and fun!

There were a lot who couldn't come with us but we get another chance!! Our professor in Experimental Psychology is close with some of our friends, and she invited them to go swimming in their subdivision pool, and luckily our group got invited too! Hahahaha so on July 2, 2014, we're going to spend the 2nd anniversary of #TeamGC swimming again, with hopefully more of our members!

I should put more sunblock this time......... LOL

[leiizyvainbeautiful]

Forgiveness

All my life I never understood how people could forgive people who never apologized for their wrong-doings. It takes me so long to forgive and I've always felt immature about that, but I can't help it if my heart takes very long to heal from betrayal and hurt. Anyway, these past few months, I've been drowning in one particular low moment in my life and I've been struggling to keep my head up. I've moved on slowly but surely and today I finally realized that I'm done with that crap. I still don't know about the forgiving thing coz I think that slow forgiving trait is a big part of me, but at least I can say that I don't feel as hurt as I did before, now. Time truly heals. 

I don't think I'll be doing any moves to rekindle the friendship because I still can't stand that someone could just disregard trust for something so insignificant and something I apologized profusely for, but I guess I can stop being a bitter human being from today forward. People make mistakes even though they don't live up to it. And people are too sensitive when it comes to harsh though true words (me).

I don't know the point of this blog post anymore but all I'm saying is I'm done with this! I won't be scared anymore, I won't be mad anymore. I'm okay on my own terms. Just don't bring it up again or don't try to pretend nothing happened lol maybe just continue ignoring my presence in this life time.

One last thing though, one last thing before I decided that I should be done with this. I said to myself, if you greeted me on my birthday, I'd try to make amends. But you didn't. And not being sensitive and crap but I promised that to myself and that decided the fate of whatever this is.

Anywho, I feel free. Like a heavy weight has been lifted off my chest by this decision. Okay, I'm done. Never to speak of this again. Byeee.

[leiizyvainbeautiful]

Child Psychology

I was watching The Return Of Superman (a Korean series about celebrity dads taking care of their kids) with my siblings tonight and in ep 25 Junu and Junseo (brothers; 11 and 6 years old) were brought in for counseling and psychological testings coz their mom was upset that they always seemed to be fighting and was worried that her eldest was entering a rebellious phase because of adolescense or something. 

I was just about to say "I'm glad some people are open to counseling even for kids" but my eldest sister already said "Why do they have to go there, they're still young, they're just being kids." and idk, as a Psychology major (who is deeply immersed in the greatness of what studying psychology can do to help people), I don't agree @___@

You know some people don't find out the problems until much later (or even too late) because they oppose to the idea of getting psychological help and tests (because they think only the ones who are 'abnormal' or with severe mental problems should seek help are the ones who should get them) but this can just be precautionary ; A ;

I tried to tell her that they're just trying to figure out their way of thinking, their decision making skills and intelligence level for their age but she wouldn't even listen to me and just told me that we have different opinions and that I should stop talking to her about it, because I won't make her change her mind. I told her she was basically against my future profession telling me these but she was just >___> UGGHHH

If you're against anything about psychology, just don't tell me okay. I know I'm gonna sound like a hypocrite but I don't need to hear your closed minded opinions. Not because I'm close minded but because you won't even give psychology a chance.

[leiizyvainbeautiful]

Selca because I've been too busy lazy lately to actually write a new post (or even update my planner odg)

ok bye

[loudtremors]

I might forget your exact words but I’ll never forget the pain I felt through them.

[leiizyvainbeautiful]

Online Movie Date With 3 of My Online Friends S2

IT WAS SO FUN! LOL 

We downloaded the same korean movie Rough Play where Joon from MBLAQ was the male lead lol actually we watched it for the M scenes (sshh) but were actually curious as to why he would end up doing that in the movie.

We were supposed to start watching by 10:30pm, so I made a group on Line and asked them if they were ready by 10pm, then everyone was having problems lol fail subs, no audio, english subs but russian dub and no subs i was laughing so hard we weren't even starting yet looool

Then 8 minutes into the movie, I realized I was a bit behind in the movie and requested them to pause theirs so i could catch up by the 9 minute mark, one of our friends also excused herself to get some food but sadly ended up not being able to get back to the movie since she had to spend supper with her parents.

So we continued at 9 minutes and chatted like crazy on Line, we were confused with everything and by CONFUSED I do mean C O N FU   S E    DDD LIKE e_____e

The timeline of the movie was so confusing as it went back and forth on events we couldnt quite place as to when it occured and did not really spend much time introducing characters so we ended up flailing all over and failing to understand what the friggin hell was happening LOOOL

Word of the night was WHAT and phrase of the night was WHAT JUST HAPPENED hahahahahha I cannot truly emphasize how much we were confused LOOOL 

Our Line conversation can attest to that and im crying/laughing so hard I can't decide which I'm doing more rn HAHAHAHAHA CREYS ODG We bombarded our other friend's Line app of our confuuuuusion.

I don't know if I wasted like 2 hours of my life but maybe not really lol i had fun with friends ^___^

I RLY LOVE MY ONLINE FRIENDS RLY RLY THEY MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH MORE COLORFUUUUL AND HAPPIER S2 S2 I LOVE YOU LOTS AND LOTS AND INFINITE MORE LOTS AUGIE, JEYAN AND TETAAAAAAAA! <3333

Thank you so much for the weird fail/success event hahaha until next time! I hope we can pick a better movie then! I love Joonie really but it was really so friggin confusing I'm kinda disappointed T__T oh well! I had tons of fun! <33

[leiizyvainbeautiful]

I miss Tinierme

I miss my online friends, I miss my selfy, I miss my selfy's extensive closet full of CC items LOL I miss dressing up my selfy according to how I feel or whatever I want to wear in real life but only exists in pixels, I miss my hundred muumuus! I miss my Tinierme family, I miss the Pinoy Selfy 2.0 group and the awesome threads, I miss trading, I miss art trades, I miss art contests, I miss RPing, I miss Selfy town, I miss the 100 CC I get everyday for visiting Selfy Town, I miss the 2 CC per comment for a maximum of 10 comments per day, I miss my selfy's profile filled with my Wu Chun obsession, I miss fishing, I miss gachas, I miss playing Old Maid, I miss making multiple diary entries everyday, I miss knowing all the items and what gacha it came from, I miss my 4 GC I acquired only through surveys, I miss the orange theme of the site, I miss my chibi pet!! I miss taking care of it, I miss constantly being able to talk to my online friends whenever coz everyone was so friendly, I really miss Tinierme. WHY'D YOU HAVE TO SHUT DOWN THE SITE TT______TT I MISS TINIERMEEEE!!! ; A ; /SOBS/

A former Tinierme member and forever a Tinierme fan: yoru-nya~

I miss everyone I ever talked to on that site :((((

[leiizyvainbeautiful]

Quick (or maybe not so quick) recap of my 2014 so far

From Singapore to Singapore.

Spent Christmas 2013 with the family at Singapore since my sister gave birth to the first niece in the family ^__^

Look at that little cutie Issa! 

So that December, we visited Universal Studios Singapore and went to see the famous sights in SG =))

Then New Year 2014, and that was the most quiet new year I've ever experienced! Like I couldn't even breathe OTL Since we had a new born at home and we were staying at a residential area. I didn't even see one firework go off and our family was apart since a few of them had to go back to PH for work :(

Went to Singapore Zoo for my sister's birthday just before leaving for PH again. 

Learned to bake a lot during our time there coz my sister has a very nice oven and lots of ingredients! LOL Baked every weeksary of my niece's birth. ^__^

When I got back home, I attended a seminar to learn about proctoring for the entrance exams at our university. Then proctored for 4 batches of examinees for the 1st batch of examinations :) Felt great! I felt so grown up! And the test administrator I was assigned to assist was so mindful of everything that I barely had to do anything but observe =))

BECAME SO FRIGGIN BUSY WITH SCHOOL! (This continued until the end of the sem tho LOL OTL) Multiple examinations for Anatomy and Physiology lecture and laboratory classes and 2 theses to finish and defend. So we went to our classmate's house often and even had a few over nights to get things done. (Experienced my first all nighter hahaha) Went to a lot of libraries with hopes of finding /anything/ related to our research but just wasted time and money coz NA-DA T__T But still, we managed to be successful in our defenses! ^___^ (A cat managed to enter our classroom before one of our defenses and I froze on top of a chair, thank God for awesome friends who can touch cats! O__O)

But in between all of these all, I managed to fit in a whole bunch of books (~70 books srsly) and a ton of movies (well maybe like ~20 movies + some korean series [The Heirs + The Return Of Superman] lol). I srsly can't do well in school if I don't find the time to relax and unwind. 

My close friends joined a whole bunch of contests for Psychology Week! Won 1st for Singing Idol, 2nd for Miss Psychology and 4th for Dance Idol ^__^ So proud of them <33 Was there for support of course! Resulted with my voice leaving my voice box for days after their competitions XD

Went to Star City (an amusement park) and watched a ballet show with my group of college friends #TeamGC <3

Also attended tons of Psychology seminars, I feel like I'm collecting certificates LOL can I use these for my resume? XD

Of course I didn't forget about my love for KPOP LOL (though I have to admit it /is/ slowly diminishing, in the fangirling sense, since the only music I still listen to is solely KPOP :P) 2ne1 made a comeback and I made this edit. :D

I'm so friggin sad though, coz I won't be able to attend their concert here in PH ON THEIR FREAKIN 5TH ANNIVERSARY TT________TT MONEY JUSEYOOOOO

Watched BIGBANG ALIVE TOUR IN THEATERS with VIP friends! <3 Seeing as I didn't have anyone to talk to when I attended the real concert, I really looked forward to spazzing with them during this one but the theater only filled up like halfway and we were the only ones with crown light sticks LOOOOL but it didn't matter, we might've thought the other people were corny but we had our own fun! Especially after when we ate and couldn't give exact change to each other so I had to buy something (which ended up being a dress and cute socks for my niece!) in order to have change OTL LOL Love these girls! 

AND YO HEY OMG I ACTUALLY GOT AN AWARD THIS YEAR! LOL DEAN'S LISTER FOR 3RD YEAR 1ST SEM HOW FRIGGIN AWESOME IS THAT ^___^ My classmates dominated the TOP 5 for the batch (Which had lotsa freakin ties so they ended up being like 15+ people on stage looool) So proud of them! Beauty and brains! <3

Had an awesome sem ender with my awesome friends! In celebration for the end of the most friggin stressful semester of our lives so far LOL passed our final thesis at school then went to our friend's house to talk endlessly. They put alcohol in the iced tea and I drank like 2 gulps SOBS I hate that I now can't say that I've NEVER drank =___= but they're my friends so I can easily forgive them... They should be thankful for that fact or I would've already stabbed their faces. LOOOOL JK (...or am i..................) 

Had to leave early that day though for confession at church and dinner with my family ^___^

Also! My baby sister actually went to her high school graduation ball already! OMG HOW OLD DOES THAT MAKE ME!!! Anywho! She passed the entrance exams for the university I'm attending too! That makes us (future) schoolmates AGAIN! Aww I missed going to school with her LOL So proud of my sister!! <33 Look at how pretty she is I wanna cry! <3 

She got confined a few days ago though coz of asthma, glad she's back home now! Spent most of yesterday and today there too since I was her personal assistant along with mama LOL She's graduating in a few days and I can't help but be super happy for her! She's my best best best friend and confidante. I love her so much!

Planning on going to Singapore again in a few days! Gonna spend a month there with our little niece who's not so little anymore!!! @___@ LOL So excited!!

YAAAAY finally done! This took me 1 hour to write omg hahahaha Caught up on everything I missed to write since my last blog entry =))) 

Also, I've decided to let go of all negativity!

Went to the confession a few days ago right, the priest told me "If the Lord can forgive anyone for anything, who are we not to forgive anyone else for petty things?" and that really cut through to me. I really want to live with that in mind but I'm still having a hard time, but let's get there day by day! or maybe month by month or year by year, as long as I know my ultimate goal, then I'll have a lighter heart! ^__^

Until my next blog entryyyy! Annyeong =))

[mrschoibrows]

[mrschoibrows]

[psychofactz]