You get up in the morning and realize they've both slept terribly and are cranky and tired from the start, but you have a full day ahead of you and won't be able to even let them nap today.
The toddlers get into screaming matches the entire day.
One toddler is tired and wants to go home and have their stuffed toy and favorite blanket and everyone is mean and everything is too loud and terrible.
The other toddler is boooooored and why is the other toddler so boring and why do we have to do stuff that is boring and go places that are boring and can we do interesting stuff now, PLEASE?!
And meanwhile you have to get groceries and drag them to a doctors visit that they both hate, so instead of screaming at each other they're now screaming at you.
Oh and you also have to go to work today and take the toddlers. Your coworkers get annoyed at you the entire day, because why are you so distracted all the time and why can't you just do the thing they asked you to do and why aren't you listening and what the hell is your problem, just focus for once!
Your coworkers cannot see the toddlers. They just see you and you're clearly not doing enough and not trying hard enough and why are you so childish, you're an adult, grow up already!
The toddlers actually wake up like that every day. The toddlers will never grow up. You'll never get a babysitter for the toddlers, not even for a few hours. Sometimes, very rarely, you get lucky and they actually both want to do the same thing and you get a few, precious moments, where they're happy and things are quiet.
The toddlers are actually just both you and they're stuck in your head. You don't even know that not everyone has those toddlers, you just think you're failing terribly at raising yours and being a proper adult.
And that's what undiagnosed AuDHD is like, basically.
ok so, I approached my local library with a proposal to donate a mural as a way to A: build portfolio/gain practical experience and B: give back to a beloved public institution. The director was very enthusiastic about it and i've been working on it since the beginning of March. Come with me as I endeavor to paint what is in all honesty an excessive amount of birds
I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study
after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines
et voila
and that was a whole week on it's own so next comes the paintin' >:)
my chains are broken i am FREE. although i did have a great deal of fun with this, the barring on the wings itself took me like four days and i am READY to move on
this was a week and a half of continuous work so please excuse me for getting a little emotional in the bg 🙏
BIRD NUMBER 10!!! The Male Mallard Duck, Anas platyrhynchos
the male and female ones are gonna be posted separately bc they're taking a lot longer lol but yea! super happy i was able to capture the iridescent green of the head, i found metallic green and blue paint at a craft store that really made his head POP. it looks better in person i promise
ALSO!! As this is the 10th one, BIG announcement. The end is in sight!!!!! I plan to finish within the next 3 weeks and there will be a small dedication ceremony/ unveiling happening at the library to commemorate its completion on the 16th of May. If you live in the Western New York region and want to check it out for yourself shoot me a dm!
Also thank you everyone for your kind words and support throughout this whole process, it's been a genuine treat thinking there are potentially thousands of you out there cheering me on while I paint this 🥹
we're movin right along with bird numero 11!! The lady Mallard!! Anas platyrhyncos
the 16th is looming in the distance so i'm trying to get thru these as quickly as i can so i can have as much time for the GBH as possible. i still need to do the names next to all of them so i've got about a week and a half to finish everything which is GREAT because i have adhd and nothing gets my ass in gear like a fuckin deadline, let me tell you
power couple that they are, here's bird number 12 and 13,
the Northern Cardinals, Cardinalis cardinalis
and NOW that they are complete, ITS GO TIME, in the next five days (library's closed for mother's day 😭😭) i need to have the GBH fully rendered, the names of the birds vectored, weeded, masked, applied to the wall, and then painted, plus additional cattails throughout. I may be able to get away with just getting the GBH done in time for the unveiling and then just have the names and cattails added later, but i'm gonna really try to get it all done in time. BUT, i have a plan. Part of why i take so long on these is because i really am just figuring it out as I do it lmao. there have been many a time where i am sitting on top of the ladder googling "how to paint birds" but I think if i take the time tomorro to do all that figuring out how to approach it beforehand, this will go a lot faster. I may also recruit some of my artist friends to help with the placing of the names... hrmm we'll see.
Anyways, shout out to the librarian who tracked down exactly the thing i needed so i could figure out where to place the highlights in my birds eyes, ur the real mvp
thank you to everyone who reached out or got excited about this project, it genuinely gave me the fuel i needed to keep going. In total, the 480+ total hrs it took me to cover this wall pales in comparison to how long its expected to spend on there, hopefully imparting a sense of beauty and love for the natural world to the next generation and here's hoping i'm only getting started with these.
Everyone you've ever had sex with gets put into the same room, and they're only freed once they figure out what they all have in common. How long will it take for them to figure it out?
Never. They are all tragically stupid.
Odds are low, they are very varied, but they might figure it out in under 24 hr
A few hours, tops. I have a type.
Unclear. There's very few of them.
Unclear. There's too many of them.
There are too many things they all have in common with each other.
Empty chairs at empty tables (never been fucked)
I've only slept with one person so this scenario can't apply to me
I'm too bald and vanilla to answer this. Results please.
Few hours tops, not necessarily because I have type, more because there's a couple really smart ones among them.
Also quite a lot of them know each other already.
They DON'T know that particular info about each other though.
There also might be one or more fistfights once they get it...
Any time someone starts some bullshit about how humans are hyperindividualistic and inherently selfish and exclusively motivated by self-intetest, I'll just tell them to go ahead and go do it then. Go live alone. Fuck off into the woods to make sure that no society ever benefits from your presence. See if you can teach yourself how to make a spear out of a rock or a shelter for one from nothing but your own wits and the nature around you. Go see how natural that feels, how happy it makes you to know that you don't need nobody and that nobody's life is improved by your presence.
How many people’s most beloved childhood stuffed animals are actually teddy bears, like I feel like that’s a thing someone made up. Reblog this and put what your longest owned and/or favorite stuffed animal as a child was in the tags, inquiring minds want to know
His name was Hobbs and I used to get two Calvin and Hobbes books to read before bed at night so he could read one too. I lost him on my mission and am still not over it. Just another thing my mission took from me, besides my peace of mind, my ability to trust myself, and my ability to see two people on white collar office clothes stand next to each other without having a panic attack.
I've got two that are with me the longest (they still sleep in my bed with me) (and had and have a bunch more plushies too)
One of them actually IS a teddy bear. He's sitting in a way with his arms to the side and the head slightly turned that makes it seem like he's really hugging you back, when you hug him.
The other is a ladybug with a music box inside that plays "Guter Mond du gehst so stille". A variety of airport security workers have also heard that tune over the years because I took it on all and any vacations as a kid and, well... oval shape with a rectangular metal shape inside of it with a string leading out from it...
So there was just an entire booth full of wind chimes for sale at mountain fair. It started to get a little windy and they all went off at once. It was so pretty.
The crux of the anti trans movement is a war on bodily autonomy. They don't want you to have any agency over what you look like, how you dress, who you date, whether to have kids, etc.
They want total control over you. Not just trans people. Not just queer people. You. Everyone.
Trans people are just a scapegoat. They want total control over everyone's self expression. They want the right to mold you into their perfect little cog in their dehumanizing machine.
Happy Trans Day of Visibility. Our rights are your rights. Our destruction is your destruction.
undiagnosed autistic people will be like "I don't get upset when my routine changes though!!" and it's because they've built a set of if-then loops in their head to pick from one of 6 different strict routines and they do get incredibly upset when they're unable to keep to any of the 6 scripts. I'm john normal
The Color Game. “Humans can’t reliably recall colors. This is a simple game to see how good (or bad) you are at it. We’ll show you five colors, then you’ll try and recreate them.” I scored 39/50 but got a perfect score on one color.
Also, unpopular opinion, wenn ich mir die Beiträge im #spatort-tag so anschaue, aber so wirklich glücklich bin ich mit 'Das Böse in dir' nicht.
Vorsicht, wall of text. (ich sollte längst im Bett sein)
Können wir den major Cliffhanger der letzten Folge bitte irgendwie ein bisschen aufarbeiten? (mehr als nur Leo ist jetzt wieder da und eine kurze Einstellung die andeutet dass er vielleicht noch mental strugglet und wonach er dann Pia nötigt ihre Therapiedinge zu tun - auch wenn ich letzteres sehr begrüße)
Dass der Spatort jetzt nicht unbedingt die stärksten Fälle hat im Sinne von das hier ist ein Krimi und jetzt ermitteln wir cool, ist ja schon gesetzt, aber haben die diesmal überhaupt irgendwas konstruktives zum Fall beigetragen?
Warum macht der Film diese enorm unübersichtlichen Beziehungsgeflechte auf, nur um dann letztlich die trivialste Lösung des Falls zu benutzen? Zu der die Ermittelnden ja nicht mal beitragen?
Ich mag, dass wir Background zu Esther bekommen haben, aber irgendwie hätte man mehr draus machen können? Den Emotionalen Tiefgang bei Esther hätte man finde ich mehr herausarbeiten können. Nicht nur zeigen, dass Dinge passiert sind, sondern auch die Emotionen bearbeiten. Also klar, wir sehen, dass sie quasi in ner Panikattacke landet sobald sie in ihren Heimatort muss, aber spricht da dann mal irgendwer mit ihr drüber? Wir sehen, dass sie bei ihrer Ex auf dem Sofa hängen bleibt, aber sonst? Was haben die noch besprochen? Warum stand der Ehemann da creepy und offensichtlich unzufrieden mit der Situation im Hintergrund und dann macht der Film damit nichts weiter?
Der Ort allgemein ist mir auch irgendwie zu krass klischeehaft. Wir gegen die als Problem im Dorf ist ja schön und gut, aber auch da gibt es ja potenziell Nuancen und Tiefgang. Und ein Dorf wie dieses müsste eigentlich inzwischen so viele Probleme mit dem demografischen Wandel haben, dass irgendwann nicht mehr genug von den zwei Familien über ist, um sich dermaßen zu zoffen.
Was ist los mit dieser Teamdynamik? Die Kommunikation unter den vieren ist zwar schon oft gescheitert, aber normalerweise hat wenigstens irgendwer einen Versuch von Kommunikation gestartet und das ergab dann interessante Dynamiken oder gute Charakterisierung der Protagonisten oder eventuell sogar mal so was wie Charakterentwicklung. Diesmal waren alle irgendwie komisch isoliert voneinander. Und auch das wäre grundsätzlich fine und voll plausibel, weil die alle gerade ihre Probleme haben, aber dann würde ich bitte gerne mehr von dem sehen wie die Charaktere mit ihren Problemen tatsächlich versuchen umzugehen und wie und warum sie strugglen.
Und ja, ich freue mich über Queere Esther, aber können wir bitte mal ne positive Darstellung von Queeren Beziehungen bekommen, statt ständig nur tragisches Scheitern an sich und der Welt? Ein bisschen bekomme ich da Hays Code vibes. Homosexuelle Beziehungen darstellen geht, aber gesunde, beständige, einigermaßen glückliche homosexuelle Beziehungen darstellen geht anscheinend doch irgendwie nicht.
'Smalltown boy' als Songwahl hat mich sehr happy gemacht (weil ich den Song auch so einfach sehr mag, hab ich neulich erst beim Karaoke gesungen :D ) aber da hätte ich mir irgendwie einen noch etwas intensiveren Hinweis richtung "ja, Leo und Adam, ihr seid mit diesem Song mitgemeint" gewünscht. Denn mir ist der Song aufgefallen weil ich ihn halt mag (und weil ich immer noch den psychic damage der Songwahl in Heated Rivalry mit mir rumtrage), aber wie vielen nicht-Tumblr-Zuschauern fällt auf, dass da dieser Song läuft und wie viele wissen, dass der Song literally davon handelt, dass ein Homosexueller Jugendlicher raus muss aus seiner Kleinstadt, wenn er je eine Chance haben will glücklich zu werden und wie krass der Song für seine Zeit damals war?
Insgesamt fühlte sich 'Das Böse in dir' für mich so an, als ob sich das Autorenteam viele Stichpunkte mit interessanten Ideen gemacht hätte, aber dann haben sie einfach die Stichpunkte genommen und verfilmt, statt noch mal ne kohärente Story draus zu schreiben und die dann noch mal zu Lektorieren.
Die Tonabmischung macht die Sprache schwer verständlich (vielleicht ist das auch der eigentliche Grund dafür, dass mir die Beziehungen im Dorf so unübersichtlich vorkommen...).
Und yadda yadda, vernünftige Polizeiarbeit was ist das yadda yadda, hört auf im Zeug im Auto des Toten rumzuwühlen, bevor die Spusi Fotos der Auffindesituation gemacht hat yadda yadda, nein Esther, du wirst nicht ja wohl noch zugucken dürfen, weil du könntest deinen Bruder auch schützen wollen und so relevante Infos bekommen um Spuren zu vernichten yadda yadda
Meine persönliche Hypothese ist ja, dass Adam sich jetzt (auch) nen Drogenproblem zugelegt hat.
So happy und ständig lächenlnd kann der Mann nicht sein, nachdem der wichtigste Mensch seines Lebens in die Luft gesprengt wurde, selbst wenn er letztlich überlebt hat.
Spinne ich, oder gibt es für GENAU SOLCHE FÄLLE BLAULICHT, DAMIT TRAKTOREN NICHT DENKEN, dass die Hupen von ungeduldigen Menschen sondern von der POLIZEI KOMMEN
Und außerdem:
WENN EIN GANZES VERMALEDEITES DORF AUF EINMAL AUSRASTET, DANN RUFST DU MEHR VERSTÄRKUNG ALS NUR ZWEI KOLLEGEN VON DER KRIPO!
Und hatte denn KEINER von den Leuten die sich verschanzt haben auch nur Basiskompetenzen in Erster Hilfe?
EINE STICHWUNDE IM BAUCH IST KEIN KRATZER! Warum lasst ihr den Mann noch rumlaufen und einen Monolog halten?!
