[lennyslung]

Monty (@lemnsaid) on Tumblr

I do things. I have fun.

[lennyslung]

And then she did a thing, she is setting things up, but it feels so wrong for some reason.

I worry about the eyes that may come my way, maybe all of this is a wrong step, but I won't really know until I get to see.

I have no previous experience to create expectations for this path.

I am aware I cannot plan for everything, but I still try.

Anyway.. I'm trying to stop stabbing my feet.

So, I'll walk for a while.

[lennyslung]

I did as I said, I took a look, now it looks as if it never rained.

Mirroring faces that hide their pain, keeping it all to themselves.

But that rain seeps within, deep into the ground.

The tears inside have nowhere to escape to.

What are you doing?

What makes you keep it in?

You deserve the happiness, there is a place for you.

Smiling does not fix it, but it's what we wear through the pain sometimes.

Why is that?

To keep the questions away, because it's easier?

So many things.

I cannot say a thing about how you are living, I speak from selfishness, in hopes someone else may find these words written for myself.

I pretend these words could find their way to a me from the past, despite my knowing it could not happen. I'm okay with this, I am happy my head is where it is today, but knowing others are still living this way brings no joy.

Searching.

[lennyslung]

I'm just learning how to navigate these things.

It takes time.

I'm being kind to myself this time.

[lennyslung]

Fall in love with yourself some day, it's a beautiful feeling.

It's worth the time it takes.

It's worth the days.

Take some time to dig deep.

Learn about what you are and what that means to you.

Keep it to yourself, or share it, it's whatever.

Enjoy your time here, the experience.

Don't worry about the story.

Don't try to fit a script, just be.

Just live.

Breathe.

[lennyslung]

I have not quite made up my mind on which side I will stand on, but for now I am leaning this way.

I have ideas for things, today is a sleepy day, I am ready for night, I am ready to stop fighting the time that is passing me by.

Today.

Anyway, my eyes are still open, I have things to do, but they will wait.

Today.

They will wait.

I'm okay with that.

[lennyslung]

Week one, May write up:

The two (three(?)) test days were a success, already I am surprised by just how much time is in a day, it fills me with excitement.

Twenty-eighth was kind to me, made it easy really, I had grown quite tired of hiding away so much. I wrote and refined my ideas while sand was shed.

Twenty-ninth wrapped me in all the beauty I have been waiting for, I made a lot of marks on paper, and finished forming those ideas, I think that my feet are firmly planted this time, I actually see what I want to do, I see what can be done and how I want it to be done, that piece was missing before.

Thirtieth was nice and calm, it started off a little confusing, but I decided to return to some old games, funny enough the storyline mirrored my journey a bit, something I didn't pick-up on previously while playing this game. I was also given the understanding for what music, games, books, etc. are for, which feels quite silly now, but I could only ever use music to hide away, and so I am happy to know that I will not have to leave the music behind.

As for today, it has been quite lovely, I've returned to the paper, leaving marks again, I am also keeping track of these things as it will be watchable soon.

I just feel so very excited, I wish I had done this much sooner (successfully), but it is better now than further away or never.

Anyway, I have decided to return here, to Tumblr, I think it will be a great room for the home I'm building, it's perfect for these things - it's funny how I couldn't see a purpose for any of this before, that's what cloudy eyes will do to you.

I will leave a little snippet of the marks:

Forward, I hope that you are well, be kind to yourself.

Until next time,

- [#]

[lennyslung]

I promise, I didn't forget about the redraw I said I'd do.

Anywho, here are the originals:

A lot of improvement to do, buuuut yeah.

(These are in relation to this video)

[lennyslung]

The stone may be too hot for the feet of others to walk on. Do I keep going in hopes that some will find their way, or do I instead walk the dirt path I have no interest in, for the sake of all the wandering souls?

I guess a temporary detour is called for.

Answers arriving:

Whenever

8oz worth of spilled milk and the chads are laughing, oh no.

In the mind:

Likely

[lennyslung]

I slipped and fell back into space, what a disgrace.

[lennyslung]

Sleepy babies rest well.

[lennyslung]

I deleted everything a while back, so I'm going to do a little rush rush remake of the ebook promo post.

This link is also in my "Bio".

But also here: [Linkidink]

Here you can find two different version of the book, both are available paid and for free.

"Actions Created" is the original piece, it is a creative writing piece I made while trying to learn how to navigate creation without dropping my values.

"Actions created (simplified)" is a version I rewrote for a penpal of mine, who has also been credited in this version.

I had trouble at first deciding on if it should be paid only, or free, but I want anyone to be able to view the things I'd like to share with them, I think in the future I will refine this approach, still allowing for this, but it being cleaner in a way. I'm sure I will figure it out eventually.

Forward, if you decide to check out my work, please feel free to do so and enjoy yourself if you would like.

I do not currently have much going on - on my socials, though with my new found free time I should be able to add furniture to these rooms.

My socials can be found here:

Socials and stuff

This is a summary kind of thing I made a while ago during the first write up of the ebook, it contains lines from various parts of the ebook mixed together to tell a little about the journey.

It says:

In this moment of clarity, this noise has filled this head of mine, yet again pulling forward this frustration.

Remember not to drown it all out, but instead allow yourself a break from this stress, these things are not to be avoided, instead, they are to be watched.

The ceiling has made me aware of the possibilities, the walls inside my head were stained too, as I now see it for what it is.

I will be resting here for quite a while, wanting to breathe alone, digging through my thoughts saved from the child that I once was, ideas flowing from the folds of my brain as if crafted by a machine, spilling down into the heart, dreams are much more, no matter how far those dreams have drifted away, I have not lost myself, these dreams are achievable, regardless of the age of my skin.

In this excitement's dance with relief, I found myself surrounded by the reason for creation, it needed to carry the feelings packed along with them, the walls began guiding me, I was no longer tied between the layers, when it poured from within it was real, it was understood, it was mine.

In this clarity, in this moment of truth I was shown threads aligned appearing to be the same, in a seemingly calculated manner. I was made complete, I understood, it was no mockery at all. I felt every color stain the inside of my mind, I will walk forward putting my values first.

what remained was a comfort telling of everything I needed to hear, a tell of a mourning dance turned bittersweet.

the air was clear and clean, I hope to greet and hold the company of some, I will continue to stay in tune with this mind. No reciting needed, as these things exist in the mind in the purest form.

I am settling in, changes are to be expected.

Hello.

[#]

..

- Be well, stay safe, and be kind to yourself -

[lennyslung]

Week one, May write up:

The two (three(?)) test days were a success, already I am surprised by just how much time is in a day, it fills me with excitement.

Twenty-eighth was kind to me, made it easy really, I had grown quite tired of hiding away so much. I wrote and refined my ideas while sand was shed.

Twenty-ninth wrapped me in all the beauty I have been waiting for, I made a lot of marks on paper, and finished forming those ideas, I think that my feet are firmly planted this time, I actually see what I want to do, I see what can be done and how I want it to be done, that piece was missing before.

Thirtieth was nice and calm, it started off a little confusing, but I decided to return to some old games, funny enough the storyline mirrored my journey a bit, something I didn't pick-up on previously while playing this game. I was also given the understanding for what music, games, books, etc. are for, which feels quite silly now, but I could only ever use music to hide away, and so I am happy to know that I will not have to leave the music behind.

As for today, it has been quite lovely, I've returned to the paper, leaving marks again, I am also keeping track of these things as it will be watchable soon.

I just feel so very excited, I wish I had done this much sooner (successfully), but it is better now than further away or never.

Anyway, I have decided to return here, to Tumblr, I think it will be a great room for the home I'm building, it's perfect for these things - it's funny how I couldn't see a purpose for any of this before, that's what cloudy eyes will do to you.

I will leave a little snippet of the marks:

Forward, I hope that you are well, be kind to yourself.

Until next time,

- [#]