There’s a leopard in the kitchen
There’s a leopard in the kitchen
Who knows how it got there
I’m sure that when you spotted it
It gave you quite the scare
It’s not the usual place
To find such a dangerous beast
I’m sure you do not like it there
Not a bit, not in the least
How it got there is not the point,
Why it’s there and what to do
Makes more sense in this situation
Since it’s now me and it and you
The leopard in the kitchen serves a purpose
Let’s you know that there’s a problem today
That we probably need to have a chat
But I’ve no idea what to say
A leopard is a problem
You should not face it alone
Especially if it has found its way
Into the heart of your home
When a leopard’s in then kitchen
Something needs to be done
So I’ve a list of what’s okay
When the leopard is our plus one
I know everything’s been hard
Even before the leopard saw fit to arrive
And maybe sometimes I haven’t known
If I would make it out alive
So maybe I’ve been quiet
Or maybe I’ve been too loud
Maybe I’ve locked myself away
Or done things of which I’m not proud
So yes, there’s a leopard in the kitchen
Sitting there all on its own
But I need to tell you that I love you
And I’ll never leave you to face it alone
So whether it is depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicidal thoughts or just a really bad day, sometimes there is a need to make some sort of alert to ones housemates, loved ones, roommates or friends without getting into the nitty gritty of everything that is going on. The leopard should be somewhere where it can be seen immediately upon entering the kitchen, so not hidden in a mug on the top shelf. It can be a two dimensional leopard tacked to the fridge or a three dimensional leopard on the counter. When the leopard is there, whoever placed the leopard, provides the information below with the leopard. The leopard is a serious situation, but it can still be something cute, so don’t worry if you do not have access to a scary looking leopard. If more than one person in the space regularly needs the leopard, the leopard could have a bandana of one color for one person and a different one for the other.
Leopard Wrangling 101
Why is there a leopard right now?
A brief statement about the issue:
I’ve been triggered by something that happened at work, school, in a phone call with parents, etc. I am feeling fragile or angry or ...
What is okay, no matter what - what I really need:
A statement about what kind of support is needed, a hug, a sympathetic ear, a movie night...
What is okay, if talked about first - what might be alright, but I’m not sure:
A statement about what doesn’t seem to be a problem, but might be a problem, maybe you want to be touched, but not hugged, maybe you want to talk, it you don’t want advice...
Not okay - known triggers, problems, concerns:
What would make the situation worse, can’t do this right now- loud noises, talking to a particular person if they call, if movie night is the plan, what shouldn’t be part of the film - explosions or loss of agency ...
What to watch - tv shows, videos, movies - distract me with:
If dumb mindless television will give your brain a rest, go for it, true facts videos on YouTube? Cartoons enjoyed from childhood?
What I want to do, what will help right now:
Do you need time alone, someone checking in, going out for a walk...
What to eat - if I can eat, this is what sounds good:
Sometimes you can’t eat. Sometimes the smell of certain foods or the texture can be triggering, so what is safe to eat - some take out? Some favorite from childhood? Make sure whatever it is does not interact badly with medication or health concerns
What to drink - trying not to self medicate, what sounds good beverage wise:
Sometimes the response is a lot of liquor, but that’s not actually helpful, but just like with food, taste, smell and texture can be a problem, but maybe there’s a tea or cocoa or something that brings comfort without causing problems with medication, health concerns
What to wear - what feels comfortable on me right now:
What you wear can change how you feel, the texture of fabric, how tight something is to the body, the color
If you are a threat to yourself or others you need outside assistance. Please contact your mental health professional or if they are not available, emergency services.
There is a leopard in the kitchen. No one should be left alone with a leopard in the kitchen, leopards are dangerous. Remember that. If you leave this world permanently you are leaving your family, friends, roommates or even law enforcement or a landlord to deal with the leopard.













