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Always always always tell people you love they are so smart and capable. I will die on this hill. More often than not people are raised in unforgiving environments that tell them they are inherently “stupid” and not good enough for things, whether that be parents or cruel bosses or unsupportive friends. An underrated way of supporting people is reminding them they are brilliant no matter what anyone has ever said about their intellect and potential. People can do wonders when it’s affirmed to them their limiting beliefs are just that: limiting beliefs.

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aetas-aurea

So many women have internalized the idea that being difficult makes people think less of them, when in my experience the opposite is almost always true. Every single time I have spoken up, voiced what I actually need and refused to shrink the moment in order to be more comfortable for everyone else in the room, I have been approached afterward by people who wanted to know me better. There is no reward waiting for you on the other side of making yourself smaller. People do not love you more for taking up less space, they simply get used to you taking up less space and adjust their expectations accordingly. Every time I have been exactly as audacious as the moment required, it has opened doors rather than closed them and I have made real connections directly because of it rather than in spite of it.