I made this little "blog" thing mostly to search for advice and assistance with my.. unique situation. Although it seems I'll be getting much more than I had hoped here.
My bébés current charges have been quite the handful, as well as being the reason I've started this blog, so expect to see many a post about or by them. You may ask them questions, but be respectful. They are still quite young and impressionable.
Woo, time for the OOC stuff! This is an AU where none of the mercs aside from spy ever grew up, and spy has accidentally become the collective father of eight absolutely feral little cannibals.
Posts with lore or explanation can be found linked below! This account is run by @l3m0nb4lm, who is a MINOR! Jokes about the hot single father are okay, but please be sensible! Spy is a grown ass man, but the others are NOT, so let's be considerate of that too. Thank you!
MY TAGS:
Fames Monere - any post mentioning the kids, especially about their nature.
Team Critters AU - the tag for this AU! Feel free to make your own ocs for it if you'd like, I'd love to see them!
Send Help For Spy - the tag for spy's posts asking for advice on his kids, or a reblog if he sent an ask
Spy's thoughts - the tag for spy's reblogs!
Raptor rambles - Scout's posts. May be color coded later on.
Medic squeaks - Medic's posts! Same as above.
Heavy's crows - Heavy's posts!
Soldier Shouts - soldier's posts, often phrased like he's role-playing as an ant.
Engie's ideas - Engineer's posts! He, medic, and Heavy have the best spelling out of the kids.
Demo's buzz - Demoman's posts. Surprisingly the "buzz" is a bug pun, not an alcohol one.
Sniper wonders - Sniper's posts. He eats bugs like it's his job.
Pyro's bubbles - Pyro's posts! Expect mostly keysmashes and fish sounds.
Tumblr is a place to express yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the stuff you love. It's where your interests connect you with your
With asks- roleplay is fine, as is just messaging them! M!Anons are also okay, just be normal about it!
Extra note: I do not speak French! Everything I say in it will be done by Google translate, so. Yeah, it's gonna suck. Sorry!
Tumblr is a place to express yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the stuff you love. It's where your interests connect you with your
Yknow what. As long as I get ice-cream, I'm not gonna question it
If you're getting the kiddos something too I can ask my bf to put them on the line and tell you what they want? I don't think they know what cracked means so they'll probably just ignore it
Jeremy wants a big bubblegum ice cream cone, Sniper just handed me a leaf and walked away, Medic asked for meat- and when I said you were getting ice cream, just huffed and stalked off-, Heavy wants chocolate, Pyro drew a picture of a fish and handed it to me. Engineer asked for vanilla, the same kind Brooke likes, Demoman asked for mint chocolate chip, and Soldier asked for a root beer float.
The ones who walked away or didn't answer, you can choose for. Worst case, I feed theirs to Heavy. He usually doesn't let leftovers go to waste.
Yknow what. As long as I get ice-cream, I'm not gonna question it
If you're getting the kiddos something too I can ask my bf to put them on the line and tell you what they want? I don't think they know what cracked means so they'll probably just ignore it
Jeremy wants a big bubblegum ice cream cone, Sniper just handed me a leaf and walked away, Medic asked for meat- and when I said you were getting ice cream, just huffed and stalked off-, Heavy wants chocolate, Pyro drew a picture of a fish and handed it to me. Engineer asked for vanilla, the same kind Brooke likes, Demoman asked for mint chocolate chip, and Soldier asked for a root beer float.
The ones who walked away or didn't answer, you can choose for. Worst case, I feed theirs to Heavy. He usually doesn't let leftovers go to waste.
Yknow what. As long as I get ice-cream, I'm not gonna question it
If you're getting the kiddos something too I can ask my bf to put them on the line and tell you what they want? I don't think they know what cracked means so they'll probably just ignore it
Jeremy wants a big bubblegum ice cream cone, Sniper just handed me a leaf and walked away, Medic asked for meat- and when I said you were getting ice cream, just huffed and stalked off-, Heavy wants chocolate, Pyro drew a picture of a fish and handed it to me. Engineer asked for vanilla, the same kind Brooke likes, Demoman asked for mint chocolate chip, and Soldier asked for a root beer float.
The ones who walked away or didn't answer, you can choose for. Worst case, I feed theirs to Heavy. He usually doesn't let leftovers go to waste.
My children are doing well! Sniper brought me a live bird recently, which is an improvement from the usual insects and lizards. His hunting is improving. Medic has also improved, as he no longer bites me if I try to look at his tail or Heavy's wings. Heavy himself still doesn't seem to be able to fly, and I doubt that he will, but he certainly likes flapping his wings and hitting everyone in his vicinity with them.
Um. Hello! Spy sent me to bring you a letter.. he said it would be a good idea for me to interact with another ghost too, but. I don't know, uh- here!
*The smaller, Ghostly Pauling hands Bee a letter. Inside is a short message informing her that this entire trip, orchestrated by Spy, was mostly just to get poor Pauling out of the house.*
- Team Critters AU
//I totally didn't forget my own username. Don't worry about it
Not much! Well, I mean, the usual daily shenanigans, but not a lot other than that.. sniper is still better pest control than your average barn cat, medic keeps bringing home increasingly more concerning gifts, Mr. Spy almost died in his sleep because Heavy got into his room and fell asleep on his face.
Ah, that.. I was running an errand for my boss, on my bike, and got hit by a semitruck. I went flying onto Mr. Spy's property, where his kids found my messenger bag with my soul tied to it.
I don't know where my body is. I don't think I want to know.
It.. could be worse. I don't mind it, really. I don't get migraines anymore, at least! Plus, watching a bunch of elementary school boys with the appetite of a lawnmower run through the woods eating everything they can fit in their mouths is free entertainment. Pyro ate laundry detergent once. The bubbles were coming out of their gills.
It is! I mean, they had a heck of a tummyache, but they were fine after a good bath and a big drink of water. Flushing toxins out of a shark is pretty easy, apparently.
Well, yknow. The strong stomach and cuteness has a price. Law of equivalent exchange and all. They traded weak human stomachs for forgetting everything and staying tiny forever. I'm not sure I would have done that, given the choice.. but it's not like they knew!
Um. Hello! Spy sent me to bring you a letter.. he said it would be a good idea for me to interact with another ghost too, but. I don't know, uh- here!
*The smaller, Ghostly Pauling hands Bee a letter. Inside is a short message informing her that this entire trip, orchestrated by Spy, was mostly just to get poor Pauling out of the house.*
- Team Critters AU
//I totally didn't forget my own username. Don't worry about it
Not much! Well, I mean, the usual daily shenanigans, but not a lot other than that.. sniper is still better pest control than your average barn cat, medic keeps bringing home increasingly more concerning gifts, Mr. Spy almost died in his sleep because Heavy got into his room and fell asleep on his face.
Ah, that.. I was running an errand for my boss, on my bike, and got hit by a semitruck. I went flying onto Mr. Spy's property, where his kids found my messenger bag with my soul tied to it.
I don't know where my body is. I don't think I want to know.
It.. could be worse. I don't mind it, really. I don't get migraines anymore, at least! Plus, watching a bunch of elementary school boys with the appetite of a lawnmower run through the woods eating everything they can fit in their mouths is free entertainment. Pyro ate laundry detergent once. The bubbles were coming out of their gills.
It is! I mean, they had a heck of a tummyache, but they were fine after a good bath and a big drink of water. Flushing toxins out of a shark is pretty easy, apparently.
Um. Hello! Spy sent me to bring you a letter.. he said it would be a good idea for me to interact with another ghost too, but. I don't know, uh- here!
*The smaller, Ghostly Pauling hands Bee a letter. Inside is a short message informing her that this entire trip, orchestrated by Spy, was mostly just to get poor Pauling out of the house.*
- Team Critters AU
//I totally didn't forget my own username. Don't worry about it
Not much! Well, I mean, the usual daily shenanigans, but not a lot other than that.. sniper is still better pest control than your average barn cat, medic keeps bringing home increasingly more concerning gifts, Mr. Spy almost died in his sleep because Heavy got into his room and fell asleep on his face.
Ah, that.. I was running an errand for my boss, on my bike, and got hit by a semitruck. I went flying onto Mr. Spy's property, where his kids found my messenger bag with my soul tied to it.
I don't know where my body is. I don't think I want to know.
It.. could be worse. I don't mind it, really. I don't get migraines anymore, at least! Plus, watching a bunch of elementary school boys with the appetite of a lawnmower run through the woods eating everything they can fit in their mouths is free entertainment. Pyro ate laundry detergent once. The bubbles were coming out of their gills.
Um. Hello! Spy sent me to bring you a letter.. he said it would be a good idea for me to interact with another ghost too, but. I don't know, uh- here!
*The smaller, Ghostly Pauling hands Bee a letter. Inside is a short message informing her that this entire trip, orchestrated by Spy, was mostly just to get poor Pauling out of the house.*
- Team Critters AU
//I totally didn't forget my own username. Don't worry about it
Not much! Well, I mean, the usual daily shenanigans, but not a lot other than that.. sniper is still better pest control than your average barn cat, medic keeps bringing home increasingly more concerning gifts, Mr. Spy almost died in his sleep because Heavy got into his room and fell asleep on his face.
Ah, that.. I was running an errand for my boss, on my bike, and got hit by a semitruck. I went flying onto Mr. Spy's property, where his kids found my messenger bag with my soul tied to it.
I don't know where my body is. I don't think I want to know.
Um. Hello! Spy sent me to bring you a letter.. he said it would be a good idea for me to interact with another ghost too, but. I don't know, uh- here!
*The smaller, Ghostly Pauling hands Bee a letter. Inside is a short message informing her that this entire trip, orchestrated by Spy, was mostly just to get poor Pauling out of the house.*
- Team Critters AU
//I totally didn't forget my own username. Don't worry about it
Not much! Well, I mean, the usual daily shenanigans, but not a lot other than that.. sniper is still better pest control than your average barn cat, medic keeps bringing home increasingly more concerning gifts, Mr. Spy almost died in his sleep because Heavy got into his room and fell asleep on his face.
dangling human meat in front of your children but they have to fight for it for my entertainment and their enrichment
Please don't encourage my children to fight. They do that enough on their own.
Je crains que le cannibalisme soit inévitable, alors je suis sûr qu'ils apprécieront votre don de nourriture.. where did you even get that to feed them?
i DID eventually find them, and some other clothes that weren’t mine but are now. Just hope I won’t get in trouble for wearing the opposite teams color haha, keepin the new stuff in my room just in case.
also dude? A fluffy leather jacket? That sounds so sick? Show it off?
TRUST I plan to, I'll probably wear it with the corset when I do! My lovely man got it for me :) I wear it pretty much every time I go see him, but that tends to be at like. Midnight. And most people don't want me breaking into the enemy (?) Base for a fit check at that hour.
Oh yeah I forgot about your spy, having different versions of everyone is weird I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to that. Ha yeah, don’t get caught over a fit check
Oh it's even weirder than you think, he's not my team's spy OR an enemy. He's one of those funny alternate universe guys. He isn't on a team at all, he's an independent spy!
I think I can answer this on my own, as well as I'm sure Brooke could explain. Hello! You don't know me, but she does, and you're her friend, as far as I'm aware. I don't have a team because I don't do the same kind of work as you. Instead of fighting in a head-on guns out war, I do more of what you would expect from a Spy. Listening, going undercover, and killing discreetly. Hence why I don't need a team- I don't go AGAINST a team either. :)
i DID eventually find them, and some other clothes that weren’t mine but are now. Just hope I won’t get in trouble for wearing the opposite teams color haha, keepin the new stuff in my room just in case.
also dude? A fluffy leather jacket? That sounds so sick? Show it off?
TRUST I plan to, I'll probably wear it with the corset when I do! My lovely man got it for me :) I wear it pretty much every time I go see him, but that tends to be at like. Midnight. And most people don't want me breaking into the enemy (?) Base for a fit check at that hour.
Oh yeah I forgot about your spy, having different versions of everyone is weird I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to that. Ha yeah, don’t get caught over a fit check
Oh it's even weirder than you think, he's not my team's spy OR an enemy. He's one of those funny alternate universe guys. He isn't on a team at all, he's an independent spy!