I told Olly I wasn’t going to write anything because UGH THAT’S MUSHY, but that’s just because I like being difficult. I’m actually a crybaby and love telling people how wonderful they are and he’s just a bitter man that inspires me to be worse. Never fear, however! Women are built to persevere.
This year has been. Indeed, been it has. But for this last month, I can’t express how special it has been to meet all of you, to write this story with you, to connect with myself through this very ridiculous universe. I genuinely fell in love with the Byler fandom fairly recently, but I quickly put all my cards in over how wonderful, kind, and creative the people that are in it have shown themselves to be. I, however, did not expect to [checks notes] join a role-play satire Byler universe that ridicules Straightest Mike’s internalized homophobia.
Most of the SMCU readers don’t really know about Straightest Plumb Shack, and they are likely befuddled with any of the supernatural elements we’ve referenced on the Willkey accounts. But we certainly know this has been an explosion of creativity, intrigue, and ridiculousness.
I’ve never been into RP. I’d always found it pretty cringe, especially at the age I should’ve found it interesting. But I have a very good friend that loves satire, and had explained to me across the years the genius of it. To enlarge what is wrong by ridiculing, by humorizing the tragic and violent and sad, we find meaning. I like that. I like that it’s not on the nose, that it’s hilarious superficially and quite clearly genuine underneath.
I didn’t know Oliver when this started. I didn’t know any of you. I had planned to come in, send Mike in the closet pictures, and move on to keep talking with my friends about writing fics and art and music. But I had this gag, in my head, when Straightest Mike said he found men hot. Like, it played out perfectly, just. Breaking News, Straightest Mike is Gay As Fuck. And then I opened Canva and had it. It was there. Bunch of gibberish at the bottom, but no one was going to click. It’s a gag.
But I’m a writer. God, I’m a fucking writer, and I’m a try hard when I love something, so I started typing. And something very honest came out of that. And more honesty came out the next day. And that’s when it became hilarious, for me. The day I figured out we’re all making this shit up, and we can make things both more ridiculous and more heartfelt just by reminding ourselves it can be.
Claire, you’re such an adorable ball of wild fire, you have been wonderful through this. You have CRAZY ideas, and they are HILARIOUS. Sometimes I had to shut them down for logistical means, but my god, you are lightning in a bottle and I hope you keep bringing that spontaneity to whatever comes next in your fandoms, because it sure began widened mine. What would I have done without a fellow archivist to keep me company while I made sense from nonsense and heart from superficiality? Guys, she listened to me go insane at all hours and come up with idea after idea and just told me they were worth pursuing. Sometimes that’s enough to make you feel like you can do anything. You inspired me first. Thank you kiddo.
Lizzie, you were the start of the story, if I’m honest. Like, the wife mystery was also a gag, and you ran into it and wanted answers. It got me thinking maybe I could do something bigger, and it was so cool. It was like your interest gave me permission to ponder on what ifs and then I became crazy (positive). When Claire and I talked about doing some sort of activity, this became the obvious answer. And wow, if that wasn’t the right decision. Thank you for giving me the confidence to make something so fun. I’m glad you joined, and I think you’d make a pretty solid detective. If not, you could make for a solid musical theatre connoisseur.
Nancy (sorry, don’t know your name) I think you solidified who this story was for. We talked over this privately, but I hope you know what I told you made the story what it is. Thank you for that, it was wonderful, and I hope you enjoyed the game.
Alex, you clearly have creative bones in that body and I better see them get to work. You’re great, man. Who the hell makes a crossword? YOU DO!! One-upping me with the extra was crazy. You were my favorite of the Straightest Trio, Theo was too gay and Mike was too Oliver, so clearly you were the highlight. Thank you for being such a good person. I think you’re one of those people that just want to be warm. You’re also great kiddo. You and Claire are my children.
Theo (again, name), what the hell, you are a DETECTIVE!! Crazy work, you are a heck of a storyteller. Thank you sooo much for joining this and playing so well, I was always happy to hear your thoughts on where we were, and you were lowkey my thermometer to know how slow or how fast I should go. You were amazing.
Ani, Vee, Athena, Cody, Ask-The-Wheeler, Boris, and Vickie (I don’t know some of your real names, sorry abt that but also good, stay safe!!!!) you are all amazing team players! You really just took it upon yourselves to work through this game and continued being cheerleaders to the rest of this group. I’m amazed at how active you were, and how empowering you could be in and out of the forum and the universe. If you ever join a DnD party, you’ll be a whole lot of fun. It was my greatest pleasure to be your Lore Master, your Archivist, your DM.
Finally, Oliver. Dude, what the hell?! You were just some rando! You didn’t even leave any instructions when I took hold of your universe, I just told you “write me diary entries??” and you said yes and suddenly we needed to communicate. And suddenly you had the flu or sth, and I felt immensely concerned (you took advantage of my kindness, clearly) and bam. Battle siblings!! Besties for life?! What kind of highjacking of life is this?? I have loved making this story. It was creatively liberating, it was a resurgence of actual passion and enjoyment for things, it was a moment of breath in this souring lackluster reaction I was having to my life and my relationship with self. But damn, aren’t I greatful that I met you. You find a way to make me laugh at the stupidest things, at the saddest things, at the happiest things. And yes, I know you’re going to send me the puke emoji after this, but I’m glad we met. I’m so glad we met. You are one of the greatest highlights of my year. I needed a friend, and I got a great one. I’ll kick your ass in person some day, asshole. I hope you know how much you matter, how much you deserve to be celebrated for leaving a moment for all of us to have so much fun, how much you deserve this message. Thank you for being so fucking you. It’s crazy, it’s hilarious, it’s exactly what we needed.
If I didn’t mention you, we may not have interacted as much as I did with others, but know your contributions to this INSANITY have mattered, have been recognized, have been wonderful.
If there’s anything I recommend everyone does in 2026 is this:
Be yourself. Love yourself. And write the story.
This one's for you, Olly. Hope you enjoy being sober for this.
All accounts mentioned are now tagged:
@gayestmike @lesbianestrobin @gayestcody @bicuriousestchris @lesbianest-chrissy @lesbianest-vickie @closeted-theoooo @straightest-michelle @the-god-ross-duffer @bisexualborisp @ask-the-wheeler @lesbianestnancy
