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out-of-my-interest

Clarence

expulsi0n-deactivated20150723

Proud of Cartoon Network for taking action so quickly.

starwhal

wait what happened

kiltyascharged-deactivated20170

The creator of Clarence sexually harassed a female storyboard artist. They kicked him to the curb and he’s no longer allowed in the studio

etoapia-deactivated20150703

good job, CN

cosmic-noir

malcubus1

melonmemes

mercedesbenzodiazepine

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO

unfollowfriday

i’m the 8 minutes this person waited before tweeting

capacity

my favorite part of scooby doo tho is when daphnes glamour and materialism somehow helps solve the mystery

dragonite-master

Ok but if she knew she was allergic why tf you gonna risk your entire arm instead of just touching it with one finger?

thedevilscub

Because daphne was and always will be that bitch

emilhamil

Here’s a picture of my cat no one asked for.

lord-kitschener

This is absolutely what I asked for, thank you

princesstigerbelle

She has the ballie

bob-belcher

cilly-murphy

frankenfemme

pandaaamonium14

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

skrillcholas-cage

oh my god these are great

princemetalthunder

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

dicknurse

my mom is a court reporter and she tells me shit like this daily

m4ge-deactivated20210331

there’s a guy in one of my classes who i am secretly battling for dominance over by wearing awful hipster outfits. i dont know if he is thinking the same thing but regardless i intend to win

i thought i won today when i walked into class wearing my awful 1995 figure skating tour of the world (sponsored by campbells soup) t-shirt, mom jeans, and 1980 moscow olympics-theme denim jacket but then he had to walk in wearing a donald duck jacket with matching donald duck socks like what a fucking power move

m4ge-deactivated20210331

i keep getting messages asking for updates on this and i want you all to know that i just got back from our final class and this man really walked in wearing a fur coat, olive green capris, sasquatch socks, and he inexplicably brought an entire roll of wrapping paper to a 9:30am class. this combination easily defeated my comparatively weak polka dot overalls. he has won and there is nothing i can do to redeem myself