serendipity's will.
୭̥⋆*｡ an enemiesㅡtoㅡlovers hyphen board↻
in which ethan lee was absolutely enamored with you, and miraculously, your unknowing brain composed of bull-headed endeavors reciprocated his undying adoration, just not in the same way.
⚘. pairing┊↳ trainee!heeseung x trainee!reader↻
⚘. genre┊↳ enemies to lovers!au, trainee!au; fluff, angst if you squint enough↻
⚘. word count┊↳ 5.k↻
⚘. warnings┊↳ mutual pining, cursing, slight emotional neglection, misjudgment, mentions of men in their perverted tendencies, reader is a stubborn bitch and is constantly in denial, mentions of exhausting unrealistic but close to reality school work, and mentions of the reader's personality, thoughts, and experiences, which may fail to appease some of the audience↻
始める!
Heeseung is a man of intricate decisionㅡmaking and intelligent planning. He creates an experimental approach towards certain things that interest him, and when he's grown attached to this specific interest, he becomes adhered without his complete knowledge, and it makes him hesitate to venture into it publicly, but after an analytical process, he'll show it off.
For example, as of today, Heeseung's sense of style is dark, chic, and sleek. He likes to experiment and has a distinct taste that differs when dressing up and dressing down in comparison to his time in I-LAND, in which his fashion included pink Winnie the Pooh pajamas, a neon pink ripped up hoodie made by Jay, a leopard print beanie, and his one only green, blue and yellow tinted tieㅡdye shirt.
As Heeseung finds out from a fellow trainee that you took a strong liking to him, he was flabbergasted. Whenever he was in the same room, you would act as if his existence repulsed you. You would purposefully turn your head the opposite direction and continue to immerse yourself in the music your earphones delivered, or chat with your friends if they were present.
Heeseung never assumed your hatred for him would grow after his face heated up when you caught him ogling at one of the staff members.
Truly, he wasn't a sick pervert, but he hasn't seen women in so long as a trainee, and the only females to be allowed in contact with the male trainees at all times were the personnel, so the monthly evaluations that allowed all of the trainees socialization without unnecessary obligations proved useless to a boy who craved a girl's affection for so long.
That was, until he saw you with your guitar on stage, singing Never Not by LAUV, and in that instant, he knew he was in love.
Well, not necessarily in love, but the boy was whipped.
The next monthly evaluation made him more than ecstatic to put on his best clothing as of the momentㅡ hello tieㅡdye shirt and pink bear pajamasㅡ and style his hair, maybe wear a little lip tint to add to his glow. Heeseung was well aware he was handsome, absolutely, predominantly wondrous, heck, he could top a global beauty ranking no problem, but, as unbelievable as it was, it became one of his predicaments.
Heeseung never knew of your past life, or which boys you've been with, but it was harmless to comprehend your exes were fullㅡblown assholes, and it didn't sit right with him that he resembled two of your former flames and bore a replica of their confidence.
There was nothing Heeseung was obligated to dislike about himself. He was dark, tall, and handsome. Heeseung was a multiㅡtalented male with jawㅡdropping leadership abilities, but there was one thing he couldn't master, and it was you and your unpredictable mind.
There was no challenge that Heeseung took a step back from, but when it came to you, you were always the most difficult conquest a man would ever take, and to think that you were a tiny girl who looked too innocent for her personality, he would have been the cockiest jerk alive.
Well, there was your resting bitch face, but let's move on.
Heeseung as an ace brought him diverse honors and educated him about a grateful heart, taught him how to be content and greedy all in the same. He was never too pushy with you, he has never been phony, never been disrespectful and never made comments about your body, which was his fellow male trainees' favorite hobby.
Heeseung agrees, that in the industry, a female needed to be flawless in order to be accepted, which was complete and utter bullcrap. You needed to be thin, needed to have fair skin and be obedient. You were none of those things. You weren't overweight, per say, but you had meat in all the right places, in which he was always tempted to grab, but knowing you, you weren't playing hardㅡtoㅡget, you were hardㅡtoㅡget, and that's what makes it the more frustrating.
Why do you have to make it so difficult? Every single approach he made, they were all futile. The hostility you place around men and pretentious females bore no idea in Heeseung's head but you labelling all men as assholes and all females that weren't as superior as you worthless was, in most aspects, unnecessary.
But he was wrong in so, so many ways. First things first, you didn't hate all men. You liked your instructors, the janitors, the language teachers, and the other higherㅡups in the company.
Heeseung knew. Heeseung knew part of your audition was so successful was because you had the face of an artist. The face of a little starlet that would leave everyone with their jaws open. Plus, you had the skills of an allㅡrounder, and not to mention, your caring, motherly nature towards the people you value and your strict instructions as a leader. Just like Hee, you only ever allowed yourself as a leader when needed.
Remember when Taki struggled with the FAKE LOVE UNIT, and Heeseung, being the sympathetic being he was, took over as leader because it was needed? He knew they needed a core, they needed a reliable source of both motivation and intelligence, someone creative and powerful enough to form a team and stick to the plan.
He saw all of that in you, especially when the real life replica of Regina George came running in with outlandish comments of her own. When the judges and instructors fell in love with your contemporary stage, she was out there to say, "Girl, I saw her hips, they were pads, and no wonder her vocals are always strained, she wears waist trainers and push-up bras. Quite unhealthy and desperate, if you ask me."
Heeseung was also well aware how many girls you make envious just by breathing, and he does the same to males. Heeseung wasn't a superficial guy. He was philosophical and dug deep for hidden meanings and possible underlying theories he could make craft with.
It didn't help that you were the prettiest girl he's ever seen.
You knew you were gorgeous, you knew you had the body of a bombshell and the face of a princess, but all of that to some extent, bothered you somehow. No, you weren't being a brat because you were spoiled to infinity, but because all of the attention that you gain from the ones mentioned above gave you an unfriendly conclusion towards men and all human beings that were there to ridicule ever fiber of a human being that worked within the public.
You were no ditzy tramp to objectify, and you were no little miss damselㅡinㅡdistress to be seen as a little fucktoy for nauseating men.
To make it clear, you weren't claiming all men assholes, just the ones that made you feel invalidated as a human being (especially the arrogant ones that you helplessly desired to kick in the guts).
You auditioned because you wanted to take control of your life and perform until your lungs gave up, until your limbs dangle off you body, until your heart stopped beating, until tears were no longer reproducible, not to become an eyecandy for the public. Sure, you wanted people to find you pretty, but was that all in all the most significant factor?
Because the first time you entered the training facility, all of the girls you trained with held eyeㅡpopping beauties of their own. An example was Julia, a KoreanㅡCanadian Barbie doll that caught your eyes the moment your first training period had begun.
She was at a loss for breath and desperately needed a towel and a bottle of water. You gave her yours, reassuring that you were fine. You were a strong girl, after all. She gratefully accepted your offer and began hanging out with you after that. Another example was Winter. She was one of the most beautiful faces you've ever seen along with Jul, and she too, was half American. Heeseung thought there wasn't any reason for most of the male population right there in the same workspace with you to ogle at you like you were the first girl they've ever come across.
Leaving your country, you supposed that all the uncomfortable gawking and emulous gossips would be put to an end, but you were wrong in all ways possible. Heeseung's obvious attraction to you never once made you feel validated. He was a male, one of the sexiest asswipes you've ever seen, but were you really willing to take that risk and flirt back? Was his delightful laugh worth it to hear? Were his hopeful eyes worth it to see?
No, they weren't. And you weren't about to give him that kind of luxury. You were a tough nut to crack, and it will stay that way. No male attention will ever make you weak in the knees.
Knowing fully well that you precisely loathed his entire being, he began experimenting with his advances. First, he didn't clap for you after you've finished one of your performances for the monthly evaluation, which he always did, right at front row, eyes wide with awe.
Second, he usually sat with his friends at the cafeteria, but he decided to sit down with you instead. The girls' practice was starting soon, and since you woke up late, you were the last girl to ever eat lunch, and with all the raging male hormones around you, he had to protect what was hisㅡ okay, we're getting a little too carried away with our miniscule (massive) crush here, Hee.
He had to protect you, so he sat in front of your seat and started digging, but not before flashing you a flirtatious little smirk and a wink. The audacity of this man, and with some of the staff in the same room! What a fucking ass. Well, at least you were a risk he was willing to take. The risks he only took were the ones that included his future. You were the first and probably the only person he would ever disregard the rules for.
His heart swelled, cheeks heating up as he began to eat calmly, acting like the bland watermelon on his tray was the best thing to ever enter his mouth. Your tongue would be better, but that was reserved for another day.
The third attempt was to stop greeting you when you bumped into each other in the hallways, in which he always did despite your lack of interest. When he saw how your eyes darted over him for a split second, he knew he had finally caught your attention. The whithering hope he had of finding a love interest was finally plumping up into the tremendous size of your ass.
On his fourth time, he had the most daring plan possible. There was a little café exclusive for anyone that worked for Hybe within the building. As a natural observer, Ethan included your behavior within your uttermost favorite place in the edifice. He swears he wasn't doing it consciously. He tends to persevere this line of concentration whenever he was interested, and in this scenario, his attention were all on you.
You were at the table next to the cashier that held up various straws, table napkins, tissues, and trays. Heeseung thought it was now or never when you leaned your back against the edge of the table and stirred your iced vanilla latte as instructed by the barista. You were with Jul and Win, and when they brought up the topic of Ethan's incredible the day prior, you almost growled with aggression.
❝Will there ever be an occurrence where you cease enunciating even a syllable of his name?❞ You groaned, placing your coffee down the table next to you and placed your palms flat against the wooden oak, closing your eyes as you heaved a sigh.
The two evil spawns of Satan giggled in their places as their heads sparkle with mischief, a blueprint of future events that will soon commence, present in their heads. ❝Yeah, we're sorry, babe.❞ Jul held your arm and did her best to at least sound apologetic. Minjeong snickered and claimed Jul's acting was rancid, but apologized cheekily in response to the latter's groan and your indiscreet eye roll.
❝Has me reminiscing, we have English lessons in 5 minutes, we'll see you later at supper!❞ Julia tugged at Minjeong's arms who was about to protest, in which Jul glared and whisper at her to "go with the flow" before dragging her out the café.
❝Isn't English your mothertongue?!❞ You screamed in retaliation, but they've already fled the scene with nothing but an excuse to treat you to two packets of Haribo the next morning. You crossed your arms and mumbled an ❝oh well❞before the absolute bane of your existence showed up in front of your face with a hopeful glimmer in his eyes.
You groaned, rolled your eyes, and made the decision to imitate Jul and Win before this nutcracker cod ever get a hold of a conversation with you. That didn't happen. Not at all. Once Heeseung saw your figure attempting to escape his presence, he boldly trapped you in his form, hands leaned on the table behind you, tall, broad body and long muscular arms trapping you in.
Your eyes widened, lungs squeezing with anticipation as you breathed in rapidly, the tip of his nose almost kissing your own. His cheeks lifted as the sides of his lips quirked up, his breathe fanning over your cheeks as you gripped the edge of the table with all your strength. ❝Open your mouth and I'll kiss you.❞
You immediately shut your mouth before it parted and looked up at his eyes with all the wonder in the world. He was the creature of your nightmares and the hero of your mental escapades. One wrong move, and you'd be sucking tongues with this utter perfection if you even allow one ounce of your selfㅡcontrol to falter.
He snickered and stared at your lips for an ample amount of time before his eyes met your own, and you swore you could have pissed yourself it weren't for the thought of your pride deteriorating. ❝If you wish for a black eye that'll last for a week minimum, I suggest you leave before I grant your wish its physicality.❞ You rambled on, voice so soft, anyone would have mistaken you as lovers exchanging passionate whispers out in the open.
Heeseung knew that wasn't the case.
And he knew if he ever attempted at claiming your lips without proper consent, his face would be wiped off the face of the earth without a second blink. So, no, Ethan didn't kiss you and abruptly left your warmth at that. You stood there, bewildered and dazed as to what had just happened. You held your palm atop your chest, the hammering of your heart in your ribcage too overwhelming to be true.
You could still feel his breath on your cheeks, and it brought shameless heat to occur on your face.
Just what was Ethan doing to you and why didn't he finish what he started? Why did he deprive you of probably the most magical moment within your depressed way of existing?
You could have screamed and demanded he do it. Do it, Heeseung! Kiss me! Fucking kiss me or I'll fucking perish!
You lived for Heeseung's attention. As much as you hid your emotions well, you always had a faint color of blush that rose to your cheeks whenever he would give you his time of the day. Of course, Minjeong and Jisu knew about this. They were the tattletales that told on you to Heeseung. They were tired of you avoiding Heeseung who you were obviously attracted to.
You aren't very slick, [Name]. Jisu thought.
You acted hostile towards your person of interest because, why? Why are you doing this to me? How dare you make me feel something I'm unfamiliar with? Why are you messing with me, get out of my head! I don't want to think about your laugh and see you smile. I don't fucking care if you know how to lead a group efficiently and sing with emotions. The fuck were you going to do with a man who dances like Park Jimin's son and sings like Jeon Jeongguk's clone?
Who the fuck was Heeseung for you to constantly get distracted by him when you needed to be away from sensitive thoughts?
Again, you weren't very slick.
You purposefully pay attention to people you weren't feeling romantic appreciation for, and intentionally shunned the boys you deemed perfect in a frat house with the title 'fuckbois'. You know, the basic frathood habits. Fucking around, directly or indirectly taking hits, smoking vape high in the living room in the middle of a party at 3 in the morning before their semestrial exams would commence at 7. Overall the varsity assholes that fuck and chuck girls left and right like living fleshlights. You know, the boys who fuck you for their own pleasure and neverminding your own.
You believe Heeseung looks like them. You believe Heeseung looks like an asswipe who sticks his penis in whatever hole he gets to fuck and shoo the said hole out of the house. That too, with Sunghoon, Jongseong, and Jaeyoon.
Wow.
Way to label the goodㅡlooking guys without fully knowing them, [Name], you're such a fucking champ. Fuck, you were being the person you dislike the most. A bastard that stereotypes people based on how they look. Great. Great, [Name]. Wow, you're so attractive for that. Maybe that's why Heeseung, the most flawless man to ever walk on mother earth was a motherfucker to you, because you didn't even fucking know his way of thinking.
How were you supposed to reciprocate his mixed signals as a stubborn as a bullㅡbitch yourself?
You weren't going to flounder around entertaining another person's inevitable emotions hanging around your head and wafting below your nose for the sake of what? Emotional accomplishment? Romantic companionship? As if that would benefit and feed the higher chances of your debut that was fortunately just around the corner.
Heeseung believes you're worth more than his career. You believe he's an absolute lunatic for that.
There were rules for a reason. Not that you were a willing little idol trainee who would absolutely, in all of her time as an entertainment student, acquise to the (ridiculous) requests from Hybe like you were nothing but a mindless dingbat. It didn't work that way, at least for you.
Alright, maybe that changed after your audition was approved and promised yourself that you would repeat no such actions until you were finally in a debuting group. Your mind was a mess, constantly thinking about Ethan Lee and his adorable smile that you failed to designate the mighty presence that had just entered the practice room.
❝Just why am I pondering over his existence like an overdue thesis long beyond repair for a lousy debate on a Sunday at 5:30 in the morning?❞ You groaned, finding your mention of the time ironic considering the current time and date of your presence in the practice room. ❝It's utter bullshit, and I'd rather swallow Jungwon's entire cactus than envision his overbearingly effervescent smile and aggravatingly gorgeous voice, nevermind his undeniably beautiful face and astounding personality.❞ You covered your face with your hands, your hair falling over your tiny face beautifully and effortlessly.
If only you knew the warmth that would encloud Heeseung's chest and face whenever the little things you do would bestow his planet earth an entire galaxy of beauty and mischief instead of a dark rainstorm that would loom over a perfectly lonesome afternoon. And to witness you, in the flesh, evident in his ears, that you think about him too, made his insides flutter and heat up, because for Lee Heeseung, you were his utmost salvation that needed to embrace him, kiss his affliction away into nothing but floating sparks of enchantment loitering both of your worlds.
❝Fuck, am I?❞ You began to question, eyes widening in realization. After all this time of disengaging yourself from all of the fibers of his being, you were beginning to yearn for his affection, and to think that even the simple bat of his eyelash your way would have you in a fit of hushed giggles brought your brain into a pile of mush, because why would you ever see him in a light tinted with whirling pools of lavenders, tangerines, roses, and gold?
❝Am I somehow... Enamored with him?❞ You questioned to none other than yourself, your head deep in thought, your guts tightening, your chest feeling heavy, your stomach coiling.
❝I'm moonstruck, aren't I? Trapped in an inevitable abyss of doom and revolting emotions. Fuck, I'm just another hopeless case, am I not?!❞ You rambled on, threading your fingers through your hair, eyebrows furrowed, eyelids fluttering, continuously blinking, chewing over your unbelievably pink and plush bottom lip as you sit there, all alone within the empty dance studio, finding yourself the biggest moron to have ever been fertilized.
The biggest moron that brought the biggest smile on Heeseung's face, that is.
❝Is it true?❞ You were too consumed by your argument with yourself that you were unsuccessful of getting an earful of the voice barely an accountable distance from you. You sigh defeatedly, closing your eyes as you sigh another time, this time deeper. You were finally admitting it to yourself, that ❝Yes, I, [Full Name], are head over heels for Lee Heeseung, and to be truthful, I have no idea what to do about it.❞
❝With me Lee Heeseung beside you? I believe you don't have to worry about a thing.❞ He spoke, voice louder, amusement and sincerity flowing so deep in his voice, that you finally looked up. Heeseung had always been called a Bambi, since he had large and beautiful eyes that resembled that of a deer caught in headlights, but it was your turn to take on the role of Bambi as you sat there with your mouth agape, eyes wide as your skin went pale.
Yeah, you never should have selfㅡdiscussed a matter like this in a public setting, much more in a place where the subject of your problems could slip in any opportunity he could grab a hold of. You watched as that beautiful smile that you despised the most graced his face. On that particular moment, you deemed Ethan Lee a god. He was the most beautiful thing you're ever seen, and you were frightened to enumerate to yourself that you dug yourself in a hole deeper than the Marian's Trench, and you couldn't swim back up and break the water surface.
❝HㅡHow long have yㅡyou been here?❞ You stuttered as you attempted to grab your things and make a run for it, but the powerful waft of his colonge embellished your nose, and before you could slip past him, he had held your wrists and peered down at you with the most ravishing tiwnkle in his eyes.
❝Long enough to incorporate all of the information gracefully given to me with abundance.❞ There was a teasing manner in his tone of voice, but his feelings were evident in the way he smiled. You were the one he wanted, and you felt the same way. You looked up at him stupefied before turning your head down and looking away, afraid that if you further stared into his eyes, you would hurdle into an inevitable turn of events that would brandish the willpower that you've been holding onto, because, truthfully, you only had so much of it left, and you weren't willing to risk it.
His eyes softened, finding the heat that flourished your cheeks absolutely adorable. Your skin felt like strong and healthy flames as he ducked his head down onto your level, releasing one of your wrists in order to tilt your chin in his direction with his fingers. The moment you looked into his eyes was the moment where all of your pent up emotions came flooding in, having your strong front suffering under ruthless abomination.
His eyes reflected off his raw adoration for you, and for once in your life, you finally faced your emotions rather than shutting them out. Lee Heeseung had always infuriated you with nothing but just an intake of a breath, but the man in front of you now, gazing into your eyes as if you were the only beauty that existed in this universe made your heart soft. You felt your walls crashing down into a relentless fall as you reciprocated the eye contact.
❝You're beautiful, princess.❞ He whispered, quiet enough to be ignored in the entire room, but loud enough for you to absorb. Your lips quivered, hands forming into fists as you blink rapidly, your breath inconsistent as your eyes shine with gloss, a sob escaping your lips as you went on your tippy toes and wrapped your arms around his neck.
The act of surprise made Ethan chuckle wholeheartedly. Heeseung was a hard-working individual with a strong will to conquer and dominate, but that facade instantaneously crumbled down into nothing but a desire to love you undividedly. Your vigorous determination was difficult to overcome, but all of the neglect he received from you felt mythical as you sob in his arms, cradling him I'm sorry's and Forgive me's.
Ethan wrapped his arms around you tighter, lips meeting your forehead and hair multiple times before they met your ears, paying attention to how you instantly took a serene approach after his kisses met your ear. ❝Shh, it's okay. You have nothing to feel sorry about.❞ He pets your hair, running his palm up and down your head before you detach yourself from him in order to wipe the tears away from your eyes and to rub your nose in case snot would be inviting himself in.
❝I didn't anticipate you would ever hear of me talk about you in such the manner, or ever at all!❞ You exclaimed, interlacing your fingers together. You smiled shyly as Ethan's eyes glimmered with happiness, eyes wide with eagerness and genuine curiosity. Just who was Ethan Lee and how did he crack the toughest cookie around?
He'd never know. You'd never know, but you were glad he did.
❝It was all within Serendipity's favorite love story, angel.❞ He kissed your forehead tenderly, your nose with uttermost softness, your cheeks feeling like they were kissed by the warmest of clouds, and finally, the most feverish frenzy on your lips.
Heeseung was both a warrior and a modernized Romeo, and he was yours until the end.
You were more of a tough fighter than that of a gentle Juliet, but he was yours, and you were his.
In this madness of the flames and merciless hurricanes, the galaxies and their wishes fell onto earth like a delicate mist of stars and pixie dust, and you were glad it rained on you, because you and Heeseung were the only epiphanies the both of you craved.
Be it the work of serendipity, or the singularity's greatest creation, a glimmer of euphoria, or a moment of epiphany, you and Heeseung loved each other until the rains began to dry and the universe begins to cry.
❝What if they discover about the two of us, Heeseung?❞ You asked worriedly, contemplating about taking a step back and apologizing for leading him on. You adored every bit of him, but you couldn't risk the both of your careers for the sake of your love story.
Heeseung smiled and kissed the top of your head.
❝I'd rather have you, the love of my life, in my arms more than anything else on this godforsaken world, but for both of our sakes, little one, let's keep our love reserved from the outside world.❞ He tapped a finger on the tip of your nose and watched you scrunch it up, a bright and wonderful smile on your face as you giggled.
❝If it means I get to love you without restrictions someday, I will.❞ You answered, cupping his face with your small and soft hands. Ethan chuckled at that, finding you absolutely adorable, he could evaporate into nothing but a beautiful memory for you to hold onto.
❝I'll be looking forward to that day, my love. I can't wait to show the entire world, the universe rather, that I'm absolutely entranced by you.❞ And with that, he kissed you with all the love in the world.
To Heeseung, you were his night and day, you were his warmth on a cold winter night, and the cold breeze on a blazing summer day, and beyond all of that, you were his everything.
