Is It Funny Yet? @let-there-be-puns - Tumblr Blog

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

baphonnicula

nowhere else

You can only reblog this on the 3st of January

official-lucifers-child

the 3st huh?

transgirlsgetswords-deactivated

the 3st.

awsugar

my apologies etsy witches i was not familiar with your game

theoneofwhomisblue

They/them pussy

ririwithrice

nonbinary cats >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<>>

screampotato

I was curious about this, not because I was surprised the cat was "neither male nor female" but because I was surprised this is a "first". I mean, intersex cats exist. Any time an apparently male cat is tortie/calico, for example, that's an intersex animal, probably XXY.

Turns out, though, that this kitty is very rare - they have no external genitals, and vets can find no evidence of internal reproductive organs either. So yeah, fair enough, I've literally never heard of an animal being born like that! Isn't nature something?

help-help-i-need-an-adult

The face of a creature who fought the gods to be born without the burden of reproduction and won

girlnephew

rslashrats

???

lindleland

have you considered being like a mother to your actual fucking children

lindleland

angrykittenz62

@pokemonheritageposts

lindleland

this is how i feel every time one of my posts gets submitted.

anyway,

pokemonheritageposts

Pokemon Heritage Post.

beggars-opera

I spent so much of my life romanticizing the Great and Powerful Enormity of the Sea, reading about the salt and the sweat of the sailors straining to haul the sails or anchor while dreading the monsters in the cold, icy deep fathoms below…and now you tell me that a fathom is only 6 feet deep -

panicedgannet

Six feet is still more than enough for a grave.

beggars-opera

Hi, that is the most metal addition you could have possibly made to this post

huffylemon

correlatedcontents

i grew up in a small rural town where there was one dentist, which i went to from around age 5 whenever my parents had the right insurance/money/time to get me there. anyway when i'm like 20 or so i started having minor issues with my wisdom teeth coming in, but not so severe that this place can't extract them.

so i go in for that and i'm sitting there in the chair and the assistant comes in looking at some paperwork and says "so you've been coming here for a while right?" and i am like "oh yeah since i was a little kid" and she replies "yeah, i thought so, there's one note on your file and it's 'patient likes dinosaurs and bugs'"

unashamedly-enthusiastic

And do you still like dinosaurs and bugs?

cynicaesura

Good news, everyone

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

A tourist murders my sister, steals her shoes, and accepts a mission from my political rivals to literally murder me? And I’m the villain???

wowsirsa

You owned slaves and were literally named the wicked witch

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

they were flying monkeys, and that defamatory nickname was chosen by, once again, my political rivals

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i am absolutely losing my shit over this r/tumblr comment

marzipanandminutiae

revisionist propaganda

you enslaved the Winkies, and the flying monkeys- while technically bound to the magic cap you stole -were still sentient creatures compelled to work for you without their consent

but you would just ignore Mr. Baum’s gripping expose and focus instead on all your apologists at MGM Studios

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

first of all the thing with the Winkies was TAXATION, do you know how much public infrastructure costs when voters insist on literally paving the sidewalks in gold??? Absolutely no fiscal sense, Ozians.

and secondly? THOSE MONKEYS WERE FUCKING UNIONIZED

graceful-not

what the fuck is happening

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

zwoelffarben

And what about the gay allegations?

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

ok yeah im definitely not beating those

orcboxer

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

orcboxer