If I get a little prettier can I be your baby?

19 | boys | Germany | 🍕|

[stability]

[nevaehtyler]

[thelovelybones124-deactivated20]

This shit used to hurt me so much. Now when I go shopping I don’t even touch shit unless I know I want it lol cus I know that pain

[ski-mvsk-mxbbin]

i’m that person you see folding something and putting it back after i’ve looked at it lol

[bcpk-deactivated20210131]

^^^ And if I can’t fold it back perfectly they’re gonna at least see that I tried.

[theryanproject]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[lake--verity-deactivated2018090]

All.of.this

[socialistexan]

Worked in retail almost half a decade, and let me tell y'all this is daily, not just Black Friday or summer sales.

I’ve had people look me straight in the eyes while they knock over a perfectly folded stack of shirts off a table so they could put down their Starbucks cup. People leave food, drinks, diapers, used pads and bandages, even one time an actual syringe on tables.

I’ve had people destroy entire displays and complain about how dirty and “why don’t employees respect their own store” while I was directly next to them frantically trying to fix what they, themselves, just messed up.

This shit is so ingrained in me now that I fixed displays while on vacation in Disney World for a full half hour.

And before anyone says anything, no, actually picking up after grown adults that should know better, it actually isn’t my job to clean up after you all day. We have customer service, check for product, work the registers, keep the bathrooms clean, deal with angry customers, try to prevent shop lifting, and keep the store running. Recovery (fixing displays) is supposed to be low on our list because people aren’t supposed to be selfish shitheads. If you wouldn’t destroy your friend’s house, don’t destroy retail shops.

[mamamichine]

I’ve literally had people ask me if I work at several stores before because I’m cleaning up after myself??? like they are asking me for help and I’m like “idk I don’t work here” then they are like “then why are you cleaning?”

[essekknits]

It’s,,, basic manners,,, to clean after yourself,,, what is wrong with people,,,

[acapelladitty]

[vincent-van-gtg]

[fitnessdesire]

Can’t risk it

[laderdesders1]

The duck of creativity. I waited so long for it.

[chronivore]

“Things that snakes do not do.” Hypnotize birds, milk cows, jump at people. Snakes. 1949.

[perfectcromulence]

This is clearly pro-snake propaganda written by some sort of udder-sucking, cactus-jumping, poison-stingered hypno-snake.

[elodieunderglass]

I feel like it’s a list of instructions for good snake behaviour, possibly to hang in a snake schoolroom. DO NOT DO the following things…

[whitepeopletwitter]

This is called humanity

[bellamyblork]

you know what we need to talk about more

first of all we’ve got these four talented and racially diverse ladies with healthy body types singing and dancing to songs about female friendships 

and empowering women

they literally have a song called “cinderella” about not needing a man

and in the movie sequels they travel to spain and india 

where supporting characters have actual character arcs and aren’t just “cultural decoration”

oh look bilingual songs

it doesn’t hurt that the whitney houston produced the first two movies

it’s so important that we had something like the cheetah girls to be primarily targeted towards young girls on disney channel

[ruinedchildhood]

the most legendary lyric of my generation tbh

[throughwhirlwind]

[sketchdeath]

yall ever read a fact that just fucks up your whole world? let me tell you about mine. fact: you can very easily slip a lightbulb in your mouth, but it is impossible to remove it without breaking either the lightbulb or your jaw. this has ruined my life. i can not fucking see an old style lightbuble without thinking about how i could shove that baby right in my maw easy as pie. the inclination to do so is fucking insatiable. i feel like rapunzel’s mom and the rampion garden. a quest i know will result in terrible fate but my mind wants to do it so badly just to play out the awful scenario that would undoubtedly unfold before me. this is the true symbol of temptation. a lightbulb.

[gyromitra-esculenta]

Okay. Story time. This happened around 15-20 years ago in my city.

Two tech uni students (roommates) were bored outta their minds in their dormitory and they got a bright idea for one of them to put a lightbulb in his mouth.

Them being tech students, they figured pretty quickly a medical intervention was needed to get it out, so the one without glass deathtrap in his mouth calls the cab - and off they ride to the ER.

ER being ER, first they have to wait a bit, and the process of getting the lightbulb out takes some time regardless. Chided properly,and called morons by the staff, they make their way out of the doctor’s office.

And as they pass through the ER whom do they see? Their cab driver from earlier, with a GODDAMN LIGHTBULB IN HIS MOUTH.

Welp.

[maplecatra]

I’m sick to my fucking stomach

The ‘MAP’ flag had the same color scheme as the pan flag and now they’re switching to the bi flag

If you see anyone with this flag or any variation

Run

Don’t fucking hesitate to block because pedos are now using this new “flag” and other forms of it

Can I get a signal boost from larger accounts? Start tagging people so this will spread

[cowten-deactivated20220510]

And now it’s time to masturbate and cry

[ftgrfk-blog]

Wing

[jomjjeoro]

hey guys. this is my invention. check it out

[bastionkeeper]

listen no matter how depressed I am whenever this post shows up on my dash I fucking lose it I just laugh so hard, it’s such a good post. The way it’s presented? Soap on a sink nozzle, okay clearly this is some sort of handwashing appliance. Then there’s just water going everywhere no further explanation it’s so good I’m so happy

[phsfg]

Can I also have a designated “funny post explainer” on all my text posts, I’m a pretty funny pal

[missymalice]

one of my biggest pet peeves is when people are like, “i don’t care, my significant other can go through my phone. i have nothing to hide.” 

okay. first of all.

wanting a partner to respect your privacy doesn’t necessarily go hand in hand with “having something to hide.” maybe you’d just prefer that they trust you without putting you under surveillance like a fucking prisoner? 

second.

it’s not only your privacy. if you’re cool with that shit, i really hope you’re informing all your friends and family members who discuss their personal lives with you that they should be prepared for your shitty SO to read through all their messages to you, but i’m betting you’re not doing that. 

maybe your bestie from high school doesn’t want your boyfriend seeing her emotional messages about her recent breakup? maybe your sister doesn’t want him reading her messages about struggles with her kids or her marriage? maybe your friend with mental health issues isn’t counting on you sharing their struggles with anyone else? 

maybe you should grow up and realize that if your partner loves and respects you, they’ll believe you have nothing to hide without checking for themself. 

[hotboyproblems]

the happy ending he deserved

[drinkyourjuiceshelby]

[toddreu-deactivated20191220]

Sudden urge to go adopt about 20 senior dogs

[downwithneocolonialism]